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  #1  
Old 06-04-2019, 12:45 PM
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Default Well here I am again

Yet another of my sons is heading to prison. His name is Sean-Michael Lee. My son Ryan got out and is doing so very well....but here I go again.
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Old 06-04-2019, 12:54 PM
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I'm sorry for you and for your family.
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Old 06-04-2019, 01:05 PM
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I am sorry to hear you are walking this road again.Take heart that your son Ryan is doing so well and know that there is hope for your other son. Good luck to you all.
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Old 06-04-2019, 06:05 PM
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As much as I hate that Sean-Michael is going to do some time, I'm glad that you knew where to turn for information, support & understanding. Welcome back to PTO
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Old 06-04-2019, 07:33 PM
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I'm so very sorry.
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Old 06-06-2019, 04:13 AM
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Im so sorry. Its bad when one child messes up and does time in prison, but its a double whammy when another does too.



Im glad Ryan is doing well! He's probably upset at his brother for messing up
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Old 06-07-2019, 11:20 AM
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My son Sean-Michael is a real mess...fueled by alcohol and drugs. But don’t know how to help him because I’ve never used either. After all I went through with Ryan, I just don’t know if I am strong enough for another go round...no matter how long or short of a stay.

Heck, he might parole out before his Texas Tour is even completed.... but unlike Ryan... Sean-Michael will NOT be coming to my house. He hasn’t even known my address for over ten years....ten years in which not one thing was stolen. Ten years where I didn’t have to wonder where my medications were or my purse.

I guess you could say that I have a lot of anger towards this son.
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Old 06-07-2019, 01:59 PM
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Do some Al Anon or Narc Anon - free meetings for people with loved ones who have alcohol or addiction problems. You will find a lot of parents who have similar problems and discover coping mechanisms to help you.

Sounds like you have a firm boundary in place, and that is good. Still hurts like crap - he is your son after all - but it is better than the hurt caused by not having those boundaries.

Glad your other son is doing well. Hopefully this time around your son will get the help he needs and wake up. It is nice to have hope, but not to plan your life around it.
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Old 06-08-2019, 05:39 AM
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agree with yourself. You might try Nar A Non or Al Anon. They can be very helpful for somebody with a loved one with addiction problems.
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Old 06-08-2019, 06:44 PM
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I'm so sorry to hear about your son. I think our kids, when they are in their own world, just don't see how their actions affect us so very much! Stay strong. Sending prayers for you and your family.

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Old 06-10-2019, 05:37 PM
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I can definitely understand why you didn’t let your son know your address. I remember those days of sleeping on top of my purse with my meds in it. It’s still never far from me. Old habits die hard. We weren’t able to move (though we thought about it.) Now we have an alarm system and we WILL call the police if he shows up at our house when he gets out. Maybe some day he’ll be well enough to come for visits, but I’m not holding my breath.

Hang in there.
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Old 06-16-2019, 10:40 PM
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My son Sean is the classic middle child. He was exhausting to raise.. constant need for attention, good or bad... didn’t make a difference to him. He is also the only one of my sons to father a child. I was a Nan for three whole days. Her name was Emily. She was of course taken away by CPS on her third day of life. The night of her birth, I was the one in the labor room. I am the one that got the privilege of helping guide her head out into this world, I cut her cord. I was the first to hold her. Where was he? He was out in the parking lot with the other grandma getting high with her.

I have such an issue with drugs and alcohol... I know I have blinders on...like it just can’t happen in my house....but of course it did, and even though he has not lived with me full time since he was in his teens, he’s still my son....and though I want to give up on him, I just can’t.

Ryan came out and did so very well...did his parole, married a nice girl.. just everything he was supposed to do. But I also know Sean. He’s going to swagger in to his first prison like Billy Bad A**, and right from jump, will start off on the wrong foot. I have been writing him in County Jail, and trying to pass off good information from Ryan, time will tell if he follows it, or of course knows better.

I’m sorry for this super long post...my brain refuses to shut down for the night. I have a feeling that Sean-Michael will begin his Texas Tour just any day. Ever feel like you are championing a lost cause? That’s how it feel tonight.
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Old 06-16-2019, 10:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by patchouli View Post
As much as I hate that Sean-Michael is going to do some time, I'm glad that you knew where to turn for information, support & understanding. Welcome back to PTO
Patchouli, I was amazed that I was able to find my way right back here, AND remembered my password.. but my God knew I needed this wonderful place and most caring people again.
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Old 09-07-2019, 09:25 AM
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Sean-Michael is STILL in County...even the Hood County Police don’t understand why....His birthday is in two days. Another birthday in jail, another reason to have to look for a heart felt, yet plain card that he might or might not get. I hate that I know that. I am just so over the worry and the fear. But it would seem that I am back on the not so merry go round.
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Old 09-07-2019, 10:01 AM
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Time in county is def not easy. In my state, they go from county to state prison in a place they call reception. THAT is not easy at all.
As you are probably aware after they go to their *home* prison things get a bit better.


Im sorry for your pain. I just hope for your son's sake he finally *gets* it.
(edit part) and yours too. Us mom's could use a break
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Old 09-07-2019, 12:32 PM
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I feel your pain! I am so sorry. The only way I manage is daily prayer and surrender to God. I pray my son is able to stay off drugs when he gets out this time. My other two sons have been in and out of county jail but not prison. They still have ongoing court stuff so who knows? It is very very hard. I was naive about the whole drug stuff too. My son is in CA and made it through county for 8 months and getting additional charge for a fight (more points), then at reception (set up in a fight), so he had 2 points over the cutoff for a Level 3 and now he is in Corcoran Level 4. It is very tough, but he has hope and is reading his Bible and praying. He just called, in fact, and sounds good- taking classes, working a job, and looking forward to when he's out in 2 years. For me, I have comfort knowing he's off the streets, and that he won't be found dead with needle in his arm. For him, prison has helped him, even though it's the hardest thing he's ever been through. He is healthy and exercising and very thankful for another chance.
Hang in there- I will pray for you to have peace of mind. As long as they are still breathing there is hope for change.


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Yet another of my sons is heading to prison. His name is Sean-Michael Lee. My son Ryan got out and is doing so very well....but here I go again.
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Old 09-22-2019, 03:21 PM
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Hello and I'm glad you are back!
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