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Met While Incarcerated Were you introduced by a friend or family member after he/she was incarcerated? Did you meet as Pen Pals? This Forum is for you!

View Poll Results: Did you write for love or friendship?
I 100% wrote for friendship - this took me completely by surprise 84 75.00%
I primarily wrote for friendship but was open to the possibility of something happening 23 20.54%
I wrote seeking a relationship with a prisoner 5 4.46%
Voters: 112. You may not vote on this poll

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  #26  
Old 07-21-2016, 09:05 AM
_angelalynn _angelalynn is offline
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I just wanted to reach out to him; he's not a bad guy, he really screwed up when he was 15 years old, and 17 years later he's still in prison (getting out soon). I thought maybe he was lonely and would benefit from a friendly letter. We started a friendship. Not in a relationship but I'm feeling something for him, know what I'm saying? Whatever happens happens, I'll let the universe do whatever it has planned.
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  #27  
Old 08-03-2016, 11:19 PM
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Crazy how things worked out, I still can't believe it but I love me some him
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  #28  
Old 08-04-2016, 09:13 AM
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No, I never wrote with the intentions of falling for the penpals I wrote too, however I did fall for one but we are no longer together. I think that's typical with any relationship out here or in there. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't. There are so many interesting dynamics to these relationships.
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  #29  
Old 09-18-2016, 09:37 AM
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What I am curious about is if a woman is writing seeking friendship why not write a woman? Or do you write a man that you find unattractive? If I was writing a man and I found him attractive and became friends with him of course I would fall in love lol.
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  #30  
Old 09-18-2016, 09:54 AM
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Originally Posted by Sean'sGirl82 View Post
What I am curious about is if a woman is writing seeking friendship why not write a woman? Or do you write a man that you find unattractive? If I was writing a man and I found him attractive and became friends with him of course I would fall in love lol.
Not many women respond back to women penpals. I dont purposely seek out women or ugly people to be friends with here on the outside just so i dont fall in love. I am not in love with my very attractive male friends out here. Its like any connection you have with anyone. Sometimes love happens.
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  #31  
Old 09-18-2016, 10:38 AM
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Originally Posted by AndyS View Post
Not many women respond back to women penpals. I dont purposely seek out women or ugly people to be friends with here on the outside just so i dont fall in love. I am not in love with my very attractive male friends out here. Its like any connection you have with anyone. Sometimes love happens.
That makes sense. I am a hopeless romantic in my heart lol so anytime I would meet someone attractive that I hit it off with I would automatically think could he be the one? I was wrong everytime though lol. With Sean, I wasn't attracted to him at first, well he was attractive he just was way too over eager and silly for me so I didn't give him the time of day. It took time for me to warm up to him and build a friendship then he went to jail and we wrote letters and that had me. I definitely learned from my experience with him. I asked my question because I think my intent would be that little bit of hope something could develop that was special in some way.
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  #32  
Old 09-18-2016, 11:42 AM
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I have few friends,all but 1 wrote for "potential love smh" but it work out for majority of them. The other one dump him prior to him getting out soon. She simply didn't want to "do the whole prison thing jail relationship(then he come home/walk off/ dump her/mistreat her etc.)I share this here often. She now for months feel happier dumping him until he is home mid 2017 real soon.(he was devastated since he has not given her one bad reason to do that to him.)i have no doubt the 2 will be together out here next year.
...

He truly love her but her own past fears stop her from seeing a prison relationship through.(Even if she did write with full intention of falling "in love with him."
...

But i see why many do not write for anything but a "new emotional type of friend."and not a R'ship because of such past relationships and or constant-fear of being let down, failure etc.game playing by pen pal men who only want $ or to use you for other things.I think writing for a friendship is fine.I am a gambler in nature lol so i don't mind seeing where things go.But i always protect my heart first since a domestic violence/really bad relation.
...
I personally, SeanGirl82 don't easily fall in love simply because things feel "special" as we can find a special moment in the real world and also yes if he or she is incarcerated.(You get your heart broken less this way.I call it "no expectations."
-
Let the chips fall where they may while you protect your own self first." I'm one who has not falling IN love for a long time. (literally) a long time and that was fine by me.
...

I finally realize the big difference between either:being happy with a man or woman(feeling "special"
v.
Being IN love.

I finally know the difference since about early to mid 30s so several years now and i just don't fall "in love."
...

Good query today, (Sean's Girl) I also think looks of a man or woman is highy over-rated,if it is real love-a true love looks come last. JMHO on that though.
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Last edited by a.rare.love; 09-18-2016 at 11:56 AM..
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  #33  
Old 09-18-2016, 11:57 AM
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Originally Posted by lovesostrong87 View Post
Crazy how things worked out, I still can't believe it but I love me some him

Glad for you. It do work out as i know personally from friends, that yes it can turn into something lovely. God speed. and hugs and prayers your way Love So Strong.
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  #34  
Old 09-18-2016, 12:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by a.rare.love View Post
I have few friends,all but 1 wrote for "potential love smh" but it work out for majority of them. The other one dump him prior to him getting out soon. She simply didn't want to "do the whole prison thing jail relationship(then he come home/walk off/ dump her/mistreat her etc.)I share this here often. She now for months feel happier dumping him until he is home mid 2017 real soon.(he was devastated since he has not given her one bad reason to do that to him.)i have no doubt the 2 will be together out here next year.
...

He truly love her but her own past fears stop her from seeing a prison relationship through.(Even if she did write with full intention of falling "in love with him."


...

But i see why many do not write for anything but a "new emotional type of friend."and not a R'ship because of such past relationships and or constant-fear of being let down, failure etc.game playing by pen pal men who only want $ or to use you for other things.I think writing for a friendship is fine.I am a gambler in nature lol so i don't mind seeing where things go.But i always protect my heart first since a domestic violence/really bad relation.
...
I personally, SeanGirl82 don't easily fall in love simply because things feel "special" as we can find a special moment in the real world and also yes if he or she is incarcerated.(You get your heart broken less this way.I call it "no expectations."
-
Let the chips fall where they may while you protect your own self first." I'm one who has not falling IN love for a long time. (literally) a long time and that was fine by me.
...

I finally realize the big difference between either:being happy with a man or woman(feeling "special"
v.
Being IN love.

I finally know the difference since about early to mid 30s so several years now and i just don't fall "in love."
...

Good query today, (Sean's Girl) I also think looks of a man or woman is highy over-rated,if it is real love-a true love looks come last. JMHO on that though.
You are so right about being happy with someone vs being in love. I am 34 and just realized this now that I am full blown in love. There is a HUGE difference!!! I am just thankful I am able to experience it.
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  #35  
Old 09-18-2016, 06:47 PM
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I wrote for friendship and spiritual connection. But I did think he was pretty hot.
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  #36  
Old 09-18-2016, 08:14 PM
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I wrote for friendship as well and choose him partly because i liked how he looked, especially his smile and partly for other reasons. I find it funny when people ask if you only wanted a friendship why not write someone unattractive. I think its totally natural to have an initial connection with someone based on looks and i see nothing wrong with that.
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Old 09-30-2016, 04:20 AM
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  #38  
Old 10-01-2016, 06:54 AM
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I wrote the guy because I for sure wouldn't fall for him, hell I was so wrong. He turned out to be more than just a MWI, he became family.
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Old 10-07-2016, 11:39 PM
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Well I saw his picture and I thought he was kind of scary lol but he had other pictures and I found him extremely attractive. Initially I wrote after watching a show on American prisons and I though how hard it must be for people inside especially if they don't have anyone on the outside. I also just got out of a terrible relationship and just wanted someone to talk to... Not dump my problems, just start a friendship. But after a little while I realized I was falling head over heels in love with him. He's funny and humble and sexy and everything I could ever want in a man. God I love him!!
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Old 08-14-2017, 07:02 PM
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Only as penpals and friendship and nothing more.
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Old 08-14-2017, 07:07 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sean'sGirl82 View Post
What I am curious about is if a woman is writing seeking friendship why not write a woman? Or do you write a man that you find unattractive? If I was writing a man and I found him attractive and became friends with him of course I would fall in love lol.
I wrote to a female inmate earlier this year. I was refeered to me. So since most of the ones I write to are men I decide to write to her. But she never wrote back up til now. So I thought maybe it is because she prefer to write to men. Am just guessing.
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Old 08-14-2017, 08:08 PM
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Quote:
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This is more for curiosity's sake than anything else - did you write with purely platonic intentions or did you write looking for love? Of course being involved with someone locked up is a lot more complicated than a conventional relationship, but did you go into it thinking there was a possibility for more than friendship?
I didn't know which choice to select. I met my (now) husband through his Mom about 10 years ago. We were acquaintances for years. So, for me it was totally platonic. I wasn't looking for love. I wasn't looking to be a pen pal, either. My husband says I am the worst pen pal. I don't like to write. I just like getting letters. Lol. I always thought he was special. I didn't think one day he would be all minesss.
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  #43  
Old 08-25-2017, 01:29 PM
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Have I answered this? I don't know. I reached out to him because I wanted him. He seemed intelligent, funny, and quite frankly his face and body belong in a magazine. I was completely attracted to him, totally smitten. I was determined to get him to feel the same way. Persistence wears down even the toughest of them. I tease him all of the time, reminding him of when he said that he wasn't going to entertain me. Marriage and a baby says that was a lie.
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  #44  
Old 08-26-2017, 04:07 PM
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I never planned to fall in love at all, and I never had a crush on any of them until the one came along who had me smitten right away. I was madly in love soon after.
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Old 12-03-2017, 02:03 PM
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Purely for friendship. I just wanted to do something nice & be there for someone who might benefit from having someone to talk to. Never in a million years did I expect that I'd slowly start to fall for him. Oops.
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