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  #1  
Old 07-09-2013, 02:22 PM
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Angry Drama. Drama. Drama. Advice, Ladies?

Hey, Ladies! I hope everyone is doing well. I finally decided to start dating a friend of mine who I've know for over 10 years and it's just not what I expected it to be. He can ask me to do anything for him, and I'll do it because of how close we were when he was on the outside.

Well, here comes the drama:
He was involved with a young lady for about 2 years, however, I had never met her because we lived in different places. He always told me about her and how well their relationship is going, ect. However, people told me otherwise, but I felt it wasn't my business to ask. He had always asked to be with me before, but I never paid any attention to him before and we had quit talking for a while. One day, I sent him a Facebook message after not hearing from him for a few months and SHE responded to the message talking about leave him alone, and I am not his girlfriend, ect. I was shocked that he would have her talk to me like that. I was just like, "wow ok." When push came to shove however, I found out that SHE had hacked into his Facebook and was messing with all the females on his friends list because he was incarcerated. I was like, "okay, it isnt his fault. No big deal." and I got over it.

After he got incarcerated, we rekindled our friendship and he asked me to be his girlfriend. I was really hesitant because of my past relationships with men(incarcerated and not), but I said, "hey, what the heck! I've know him for years, and I doubt he'll intentionally hurt me!" he also promised he wouldn't. So about 2 weeks ago or so, he asked me to look for someone on his Facebook and get their phone number and email so he could contact them through Corrlinks. He had his friends blocked and I could only see our mutual friends, so I told him I needed his password. He said he doesnt REMEMBER it, but he'll try to get it. (I didnt know he was CALLING HER to get it, because if I knew, I wouldnt have taken the password because I KNOW how much she likes drama and I hate drama and I would simply just whoop her butt and get it over with.)

Anyways, back to the story. So he gave me the password, I found the person and he asked me to tell him how to set the Corrlinks account up and he told me thanks for all my help. I said no problem. He then asked me to get on his Facebook and post a song for him, and go check his messages and let everyone know what's going on and where he is. I did. His sister commented and was like, "who the **** is on my brother's Facebook?" so I popped her up in a chat and let her know I'm a friend of his and I told her my name. I WAS NOT AWARE of the fact that she would go back and tell that drama loving female DOG what was going on and all these lies about me.

So I'm just sitting at the computer on MY facebook because I dont stay on his Facebook very long, I just check his messages and respond to them, let him know who said hey, and get off. She logs into his Facebook, changes his password and starts CUSSING ME OUT. So I'm like WTF? She was like I'm his wife, I already told you that, he's using yall, he'll always know where home is, ect. So I'm sitting there shocked like, "did this female dog REALLY just try to come at me and disrespect me like this?" So I cuss her out to the point where she DELETES ME off his Facebook. I then send him a Corrlinks message and I let him know not to play me like that and I dont like drama, ect. He INSISTS he doesnt know what's goin on and that I need not answer her an let her cuss me out. I'm like, "WHAT? LET HER CUSS ME OUT? Have you lost your DAMN MIND?" So we're going back and forth about it and I let him know that I'm not gonna be a part of that because he put me in the middle of that drama knowing I am not an emotionally stable person and I will go find her and drag her all over the town by her hair for trying to disrespect me. He tells me he doesnt talk to her, and I'm the only one who does anything for him(writes to him, sends him money, pictures, ect.).

Last night, however, I was speaking with a friend who lives in the town where she lives and the friend knows me and him very well(we all grew up in the same town). He also knows the girl because it's his baby mama's cousin. So I explain to him the situation and he was like, "Sweetheart, that is a messy situation and you do NOT want to get in the middle of those two and all that drama. They'll love each other until death does them part." He basically explains to me that there's a 99% chance that they're still together because they were still together when he got locked up. My friend also told me that she is out there messing with other guys. He told me that him and her had broken up before he had gotten put in prison(he was out on bond) and they had a domestic dispute where he ended up beating her up pretty badly and her parents made them end the relationship. Like I said, he knows this because it's his baby mama's cousin.

So after all of this being said to me, I hop on Corrlinks and let him know EXACTLY how I feel, and he tells me I'm small minded and he's disappointed in me. So I went off because I was there for him when everyone turned their backs on him and I felt like I was being treated like crap even though he tried to reassure me that he doesnt speak to her, I have a gut feeling, but then again, I'm a professional cynic. I told him to try me back when he gets released because I'm not going through all this drama right now because something tells me I'll put my life on hold waiting for him to get out and he'll end up back with her. I let him know we can still be friends and stuff, but I am discontinuing the relationship. He said when he gets out he knows I'll probably be with someone else, ect. The friend who told me is a VERY reputable source and I feel like what he told me is the truth, he has nothing to gain from the situation.

Can anyone give me advice on what to do or if I handled the situation in the correct way? I think I just kinda needed to vent. Thanks, Ladies.
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  #2  
Old 07-09-2013, 02:40 PM
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I would straight drop him/cut him off! I would delete my corrlinks, if he mails you letters don't even open them instead return them to him and not answer his calls. THATS JUST ME THOUGH b/c that's the type of person I am. Best way to get rid of "drama" is to avoid it all together. And stop sending him $$$ !!!
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Old 07-09-2013, 02:52 PM
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First off he's a dog and I can't believe you even took the time to write this. He beat this other woman. You where totally disrespected. Who wants a man that puts their hands on another, especially a woman. He's using you for money like a majority of men do. My husband hears it on the phone line all the time how they call 5 woman in a row to get money. Your gut is a very telling thing it's telling you to walk away so get stepping !
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Old 07-09-2013, 03:01 PM
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I agree...walk away and dont look back.
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Old 07-09-2013, 03:02 PM
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If your not emotionally stable you shouldn't be in a relationship! I think you should walk away from this guy, but I don't think your handling it properly. You keep putting all the blame on some other girl when your not in a relationship with her. You wanna drag her around by her hair and then your talking about how this guy beat her!!!

Sounds to me like this is a mess full of unstable people. You should walk away and get yourself stable, find a man who will treat you right and love you the way you deserve!
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Old 07-09-2013, 03:07 PM
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Dang, I'm sorry this happened to you!! Unfortunately, it does sound like your friend of 10 years is in some toxic, vicious cycle with this woman where no matter what, they probably won't break up. If he really cared for you, he would try not to put you into this drama knowing how she is. It seems like he used you so you would put money on the books and stuff. Some men get so whipped by women that it changes them either for better or worse. According to what my man's family has recently told me, when my man was with his ex, he'd distanced himself from his family (because she didn't get along with them), and he was just all around mean/rude. But he was too blind to see that he was being that way, until she cheated. If I'd known my fiance around that time, I would NOT have wanted to be his friend...so unfortunately, you probably should back away from that, for your OWN sake! It's hard being in a prison relationship already, but to be in one where you don't know what the person really thinks about you, and to have this drama??....hell no! I could not do it!

So yes, you definitely handled the situation correctly! And whatever you do, try not to let this woman get to you. She sounds like an insecure piece of work...I'd go insane if I had to worry about who my man was talking to all the time, and to be stuck on him to that point to pounce on any female who looks in his direction. Nope nope nope, I couldn't be with a guy like that. Anyway, you go on living your happy life, and leave this prison drama behind!
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Old 07-09-2013, 03:22 PM
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I never understand why women get on women when the man is generally the real dog in the situation. Move on unless you want more of the same and be grateful you are not the other woman in this situation who like yourself started out to do a guy in prison some favors.
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Old 07-09-2013, 03:35 PM
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I never understand why women get on women when the man is generally the real dog in the situation. Move on unless you want more of the same and be grateful you are not the other woman in this situation who like yourself started out to do a guy in prison some favors.
Yep Sweetie, I'm with Patty on this one...Unless you are a Drama Queen and like being involved in messy- drama -filled -never -ending affairs you will run FAST and not look back or bother to respond to either one of these clowns again, just thank the Relationship Gods you found out whats up before you got too deeply involved. I see no point in Face Book fighting; who wins that -ish? Good Luck, Marcia
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Old 07-09-2013, 04:46 PM
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Originally Posted by PrettyDoll123 View Post
Hey, Ladies! I hope everyone is doing well. I finally decided to start dating a friend of mine who I've know for over 10 years and it's just not what I expected it to be. He can ask me to do anything for him, and I'll do it because of how close we were when he was on the outside.

Well, here comes the drama:
He was involved with a young lady for about 2 years, however, I had never met her because we lived in different places. He always told me about her and how well their relationship is going, ect. However, people told me otherwise, but I felt it wasn't my business to ask. He had always asked to be with me before, but I never paid any attention to him before and we had quit talking for a while. One day, I sent him a Facebook message after not hearing from him for a few months and SHE responded to the message talking about leave him alone, and I am not his girlfriend, ect. I was shocked that he would have her talk to me like that. I was just like, "wow ok." When push came to shove however, I found out that SHE had hacked into his Facebook and was messing with all the females on his friends list because he was incarcerated. I was like, "okay, it isnt his fault. No big deal." and I got over it.

After he got incarcerated, we rekindled our friendship and he asked me to be his girlfriend. I was really hesitant because of my past relationships with men(incarcerated and not), but I said, "hey, what the heck! I've know him for years, and I doubt he'll intentionally hurt me!" he also promised he wouldn't. So about 2 weeks ago or so, he asked me to look for someone on his Facebook and get their phone number and email so he could contact them through Corrlinks. He had his friends blocked and I could only see our mutual friends, so I told him I needed his password. He said he doesnt REMEMBER it, but he'll try to get it. (I didnt know he was CALLING HER to get it, because if I knew, I wouldnt have taken the password because I KNOW how much she likes drama and I hate drama and I would simply just whoop her butt and get it over with.)

Anyways, back to the story. So he gave me the password, I found the person and he asked me to tell him how to set the Corrlinks account up and he told me thanks for all my help. I said no problem. He then asked me to get on his Facebook and post a song for him, and go check his messages and let everyone know what's going on and where he is. I did. His sister commented and was like, "who the **** is on my brother's Facebook?" so I popped her up in a chat and let her know I'm a friend of his and I told her my name. I WAS NOT AWARE of the fact that she would go back and tell that drama loving female DOG what was going on and all these lies about me.

So I'm just sitting at the computer on MY facebook because I dont stay on his Facebook very long, I just check his messages and respond to them, let him know who said hey, and get off. She logs into his Facebook, changes his password and starts CUSSING ME OUT. So I'm like WTF? She was like I'm his wife, I already told you that, he's using yall, he'll always know where home is, ect. So I'm sitting there shocked like, "did this female dog REALLY just try to come at me and disrespect me like this?" So I cuss her out to the point where she DELETES ME off his Facebook. I then send him a Corrlinks message and I let him know not to play me like that and I dont like drama, ect. He INSISTS he doesnt know what's goin on and that I need not answer her an let her cuss me out. I'm like, "WHAT? LET HER CUSS ME OUT? Have you lost your DAMN MIND?" So we're going back and forth about it and I let him know that I'm not gonna be a part of that because he put me in the middle of that drama knowing I am not an emotionally stable person and I will go find her and drag her all over the town by her hair for trying to disrespect me. He tells me he doesnt talk to her, and I'm the only one who does anything for him(writes to him, sends him money, pictures, ect.).

Last night, however, I was speaking with a friend who lives in the town where she lives and the friend knows me and him very well(we all grew up in the same town). He also knows the girl because it's his baby mama's cousin. So I explain to him the situation and he was like, "Sweetheart, that is a messy situation and you do NOT want to get in the middle of those two and all that drama. They'll love each other until death does them part." He basically explains to me that there's a 99% chance that they're still together because they were still together when he got locked up. My friend also told me that she is out there messing with other guys. He told me that him and her had broken up before he had gotten put in prison(he was out on bond) and they had a domestic dispute where he ended up beating her up pretty badly and her parents made them end the relationship. Like I said, he knows this because it's his baby mama's cousin.

So after all of this being said to me, I hop on Corrlinks and let him know EXACTLY how I feel, and he tells me I'm small minded and he's disappointed in me. So I went off because I was there for him when everyone turned their backs on him and I felt like I was being treated like crap even though he tried to reassure me that he doesnt speak to her, I have a gut feeling, but then again, I'm a professional cynic. I told him to try me back when he gets released because I'm not going through all this drama right now because something tells me I'll put my life on hold waiting for him to get out and he'll end up back with her. I let him know we can still be friends and stuff, but I am discontinuing the relationship. He said when he gets out he knows I'll probably be with someone else, ect. The friend who told me is a VERY reputable source and I feel like what he told me is the truth, he has nothing to gain from the situation.

Can anyone give me advice on what to do or if I handled the situation in the correct way? I think I just kinda needed to vent. Thanks, Ladies.
First of all he beat on another woman, and that is not okay under any circumstances! Second he has disrespected you greatly and you seem to be involved in unnecessary drama. Tell him to fix this bs up then y'all can talk about having a relationship. You don't deserve being cussed out and disrespected like you have by his ex and him. This is just red flag after red flag. Meanwhile you guys may have known him for a long time but then why is being such an a**? Plus I cannot get over him beating another woman, that's just not alright...ever! he needs to get his sh*t straight. I wouldn't move forward knowing he's touched another lady and having a gut feeling he's cheating. Plus she isn't out of his life and i don't see why she needs to be in it. If your not feeling 100% sure about your man telling the truth there is an issue. It just seems so messy and I believe you just need to remove yourself from the whole situation...good luck!
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Old 07-09-2013, 05:35 PM
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You deserve better. You deserve honesty, no drama, people who add something positive into your life (not negativity) and you deserve to be the star of your own show...not a runner up or someone on the side lines.
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Old 07-09-2013, 06:05 PM
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Smh....somehow when I read the title I knew FB had to be involved lol. you have plenty of information from your reliable source. Take the information you was given and move on. If not you will just be feeding into the drama frenzy and you will still be used by the girls bf/husband.

He obviously isn't the coldest beer in the fridge if he is having you log into his FB knowing full well the other girl had access to it
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Old 07-09-2013, 06:19 PM
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WALK away..leave him cold..block her from your facebook...if he will hit her he will hit you. Good luck with all you do!
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Old 07-09-2013, 06:41 PM
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Run! Run! RUN!!!! Don't waste another minute or second! You did the right thing hun! If he beat another woman, he will again!
I would drop him fast & not give him a chance to explain or anything! You deserve so much better! Best of luck to you!
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Old 07-09-2013, 07:00 PM
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I never understand why women get on women when the man is generally the real dog in the situation. Move on unless you want more of the same and be grateful you are not the other woman in this situation who like yourself started out to do a guy in prison some favors.
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Old 07-09-2013, 07:45 PM
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well if i was her ill be mad too hell this lady thinks shes the only one & now your poping up..lol yeah ill be pissed too..my thing is why are u still talking to this man if you know him & her are still talking??? sounds like hes telling u n her q bunch of lies & yall both are believing it..grl leave him..well THEM along let them be .. 9/10 he gets out he will be with this lady..so just save yourself a heartache & find someone who doesnt have drama nor anothet woman.
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Old 07-09-2013, 11:18 PM
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You did good, now RUN -- don't walk... and don't ever look back.. just my opinion
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Old 07-10-2013, 05:11 AM
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Best case scenario you sound like a drama obsessed 14yr old. Worst case you sound like a drama obsessed 14yr old. All of you need to run from each other.
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Old 07-10-2013, 07:58 AM
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He's not your friend, nor your love-- friends and loves don't pull all this mess on people they care for.
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Old 07-10-2013, 08:03 AM
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If you've really known him for ten years, you should know how he acts. Has he been a liar? Violent? People don't change that much, so if he was such a freind, you should already know what he was dealing with, or he was not much of a friend. the other female is not the dog in this situation, but he is the dog. I have plenty of male friends who are dogs, but really, if one of them said you are my gf, are you kidding? There is or will be always someone who a man will not leave-my hubby's bm always told he messed with a lot of women and always came back to her-yeah, until he met me-he will laugh now and be like, she said that-well, I am still here( and it's been over a decade now), so he may not be going anywhere or maybe he will. The "now" is that he has not been honest. He needs to delete his FB and cut the crap. He is locked up with at least a few gfs. he's definitely not relationship material and probably gets off at you two women fighting over him and getting all upset. Time to step out of the situation, because that shows his mentality is immature. I think you can do better.
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Old 07-10-2013, 11:45 AM
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I'm not sure what type of advice you're looking for other than RUN which should be obvious, no offense intended. This whole situation seems highly dysfunctional and dramatic. I'm hoping you don't really have any questions about whether or not you should stay in contact with this guy and just needed a place to vent before moving on.
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Old 07-11-2013, 12:51 AM
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Sounds like they are perfect for each other...stay away from them and never look back. He's not a friend either....
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Old 07-11-2013, 03:22 AM
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well if i was her ill be mad too hell this lady thinks shes the only one & now your poping up..lol yeah ill be pissed too..my thing is why are u still talking to this man if you know him & her are still talking??? sounds like hes telling u n her q bunch of lies & yall both are believing it..grl leave him..well THEM along let them be .. 9/10 he gets out he will be with this lady..so just save yourself a heartache & find someone who doesnt have drama nor anothet woman.
my thoughts exactly.and the op wanted to drag the real wife around by the hair,all over some idiot that beats on women!
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Old 07-11-2013, 05:31 AM
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I would not even waste my breath on this man. This other woman did not do anything wrong it is him who is in the wrong. Like another poster said she has every right in the book to be pissed off. I would be pissed off if I was married to someone and some other girl was just there. Leave this fool to himself.
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