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Wives & Girlfriends in Prison For everyone who has a wife, girlfriend, or female partner incarcerated.

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  #1  
Old 04-14-2005, 07:00 PM
emsrescue20 emsrescue20 is offline
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Default Advice on Funds Needed....

This question appeals to the ladies and the men as well...

I'm sure it's been covered but I guess I'm posting this again because times change or feelings are different now? I don't know, guess I just need a hand on this one. My penpal and I have been writing for less than a year, and we have very strong feelings for one another indeed, we do love each other. I've visited her already and the whole nine yards and get a very good read on her. She asked me today for shoes and to pay her cable bill but didn't specify an amount. Part of me is hesitant because I don't necessarily want to be a source of funds for someone especially because living in Jersey is REALLY expensive...lol. Yet I love her and I want to help her in any way I can. I mean if I do it just this once I don't see how it can be a bad thing? I think I should tell her this too and I will. I just don't want to be viewed as a horrible person or bad, or what not because I don't want to hurt her feelings or anything.

Any suggestions?? They will be greatly appreciated!!
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  #2  
Old 04-14-2005, 07:11 PM
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jen_n_beau jen_n_beau is offline
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I personally would never ask someone to buy me a pair of shoes and to pay any of my bills. Maybe you could just tell her that you can't afford it. If it was help paying like an electric bill so her electricity wouldn't get turned off (something like a necessity) it would be a different story but to ask for something like shoes? I don't know, it sounds funny to me. If you think this would be a one time deal and you feel comfortable doing it then go for it. Just make sure you let her know it is a one time deal. From your post you sound like you don't feel comfortable with it so if it was me I wouldn't do it. If she stops being your friend because of this then you know where her motives are. Good luck to you in whatever decision you make.
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Old 04-14-2005, 07:19 PM
emsrescue20 emsrescue20 is offline
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I appreciate the advice so far, I really do, but I need to clarify so that shoes doesn't sound funny. She's on the volleyball team inside and also does track, I've also seen pictures of her during games, so I know it's legit. I can afford it but I don't want to make a habit out of it.
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Old 04-14-2005, 07:23 PM
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Yeah that's understandable. Really if you feel comfortable then go for it. My boyfriend has asked me for money one time a few years ago. I had made a decision from day one that I wouldn't financially support him while he was locked up. I went ahead and helped him out that one time and just let him know that it wouldn't be a reoccuring deal. He understood and never asked again. So if you really want to help her this one time then that would be extremely nice of you. Just make sure she understands you want to be there for her but this is a one time deal.
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