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When the Relationship is Over... This forum is about discussing your thoughts, feelings and issues now that you and your incarcerated (or formerly incarcerated) loved one are no longer together. (This forum is NOT for bashing - please read the rules before posting.)

View Poll Results: Would you take him/her back if he or she has violated parole?
I would KEEP IT MOVIN',remain happy.Live well without him/her." 13 15.48%
I would. I think the "Second time around"can be better than the first." 12 14.29%
If i did,i would need PROOF of therapy/being a changed better person. 7 8.33%
No way.Too much pain.LIFE TOO SHORT. Would always have my doubts. 7 8.33%
If he couldn't keep promises the 1st time, what makes you think they will the 2nd time, so NO !!! 10 11.90%
I think it really "depends on many factors." 41 48.81%
For what? Nope. That's the past.He or she has had their chance with me." 6 7.14%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 84. You may not vote on this poll

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  #26  
Old 03-20-2018, 01:35 AM
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Revenwyn Revenwyn is offline
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I can't answer your poll. In your case, no I wouldn't take him back. In my case, my husband could "violate parole" just by being unable to get a job and falling behind on bills... so I'm going to have to say it depends on what "violating parole" entailed.

(As of right now we're still not allowed to communicate.)
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  #27  
Old 03-20-2018, 05:37 PM
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missingdee missingdee is online now
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Hey Chica, just keep on smiling and moving along. If he can't keep his crap straight, then use that brilliant head on your shoulders and make something great of your life. He needs to figure out his own b.s. If he can't handle being out of prison, how is he supposed to handle being a supportive partner in a relationship with you out here?

Hang in there.

-E
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  #28  
Old 03-22-2018, 04:27 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sarianna View Post
I am sorry it came to this, I really am -- but I also can see that you have a strong sense of what you want from a man & your life, so good for you for doing what you know is best for you

i've not even wanted to pick up the um "collect/pre-pay calls anymore for while now, and i am happier NOT wasting any more coins...on him."He has to find his OWN way." Even if i know what his "future" holds as he is already showing me that,and i am going to continue to succeed.Juggle law school/multi-biz, author,and artist and a good woman all around,counseling/consulting with others, and also on PTO give caring supportive advice to all who need it, and thanks all who are posting in mi update threads and pm's.(sincerely thank you!) *hugs blessings*
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SARIANNA:

He will not do that(meaning find his own way)even if i told him he has to go now and do that,because i am NOT doing another P.R.(prison-relationship)with him after 5 long yrs almost.Nope...So i know he will not try hard to get therapy/and find his own way to a better life/clear blue skies happy healthy path in life,
-
but i am not fretting' over it.Feel free again to just speak to(2 men)both i pushed away for him,always loyal.Now, i have a friend again(males 2 of em who are in shock he lost some 1 like me.)I know a few pm's i got recent said same thing, but yet said i am so strong/i am golden for how i treat him,some one said this in pms to me a day ago and also today,and i just read it smiling realizing i am, and i am not going to regret what i decided,because it was BEST for me..I used to wait around/stay with a guy "just because."But, it comes a time when being clear-with our thoughts and single and healthy happy#nodrama is best,and we need this at times to realize and recognize exactly what is best for us.I will not let ANY MAN take that away from me, as i know what i want,starting multi-biz on MY own and soon law school 2018.I shall not be side-tracked with such negative, for which he clearly would've kept bringing me til' he get his life together,but he "think we are still an item."I have not picked up since he last spoke to me as i did allow once i learn he was violating his probation inside of the halfway house and was re-arrested early March after being home for a mere 3 and a 1/2 months or so.

Yes. and i know yours is back inside, and god bless you sticking by him,and i am knowing that each passing god bless day i've made (for me)the best/right decision. #NoRegrets as he continue to welp, violate his probation,get more time, short time or long.I will not be there walkin' the prison relation-line again with him, at this point and time. I am happy. I am blessed. I am strong.I am a woman who has been through hell through PRIOR D.V.,so if i survive"that mess 10 yrs ago in early to mid 20s" or so then i am able to get over this and i am doing just that! I am doing just fine yes chica, thanks again Sari, for caring... Muchas Amor.(much love)to you.adios...hugs and blessings.
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CONSISTENCY..."is key." If a man wants better, he'll show it 24-7 with action,loyalty,maturity,respect to his el reina,(his queen)
Without "action" applied to his words, it's not real."#BeSmart #DON'T SETTLE Life is just too short not to be happy en vida..."

Last edited by a.rare.love; 03-22-2018 at 04:36 PM..
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  #29  
Old 03-22-2018, 04:42 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by missingdee View Post
Hey Chica, just keep on smiling and moving along. If he can't keep his crap straight, then use that brilliant head on your shoulders and make something great of your life.

He needs to figure out his own b.s. If he can't handle being out of prison, how is he supposed to handle being a supportive partner in a relationship with you out here?

Hang in there.

-E


Oh Hola pa. I just read this and i pray you're doing well with your dulce(sweet) dee." and oh you're knowing already i am! I know some think i am hurt. .I was more disappointed in him.

I always had "1 foot and one foot out."This way as i shall repeat,i already was "mentally prepared"to walk away without being so hurt inside, so that helped me Dee.It really did. I've (learned this in therapy 10 yrs ago)and amazing how it did work for me now.)and i am utilizing mi astute yes "brilliant wink"mente(mind)to continue to build mi multi-biz and create/empower and continue to do what i do in life,without having a #hateful type feeling toward a man i did truly love but i love mi self more to just say adios...(after not giving up right away)he know i still love him,but what he does not know is the love es ahora(is now) dissipating daily. I last convo said weeks ago, "No. I have no hate toward him, but i did tell him i was so disappointed in him,and called him a man (sadly)entering his thirties soon in 2018, who has no one who truly care if he end up dead/back in prison, left to continue to mess up and he did agree but yet, he "think we are still together." I also advise him, "Do not call me, thinking i am sitting around waiting for you to wake up."He deep down know he screwed up big time..."Yet, such mixed-up man"believe truly that he only has "Violated probation a little bit," and it's no big deal."'He said "i love you and this "little probation, we as a real "couple with so much "real" love can make it?It is like he doesn't mentally get that he threw it all away after almost five years in each other lives, barely an argument.He thinks it is just a "little violation" and he will be "OK." He really does not get it at all.#SMDH He is not making sense at all. 'I simply told him,adios..I said Good bye and told him get some mental help that he has ignored for sadly his entire life. I have not answered his calls since."

Thanks for caring, Missing Dee. I am good. I'm chillin...I'm happy... 1 or 2 great friends off line, and mi familia and DIOS(god)good health,great biz is all i need and prayer daily and PTO i still pop-in,for others who need some support."
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"Pensando en ti, g-man."
CONSISTENCY..."is key." If a man wants better, he'll show it 24-7 with action,loyalty,maturity,respect to his el reina,(his queen)
Without "action" applied to his words, it's not real."#BeSmart #DON'T SETTLE Life is just too short not to be happy en vida..."

Last edited by a.rare.love; 03-22-2018 at 04:54 PM..
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  #30  
Old 05-31-2018, 06:59 PM
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I have read all your story N You are a real inspiration RARE, with all your achievement and plans and so forth...... keep it movin like U always doin
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