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When the Relationship is Over... This forum is about discussing your thoughts, feelings and issues now that you and your incarcerated (or formerly incarcerated) loved one are no longer together. (This forum is NOT for bashing - please read the rules before posting.)

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  #1  
Old 03-08-2018, 06:59 PM
Briele619 Briele619 is offline
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Default Finally Over...Never Thought I'd be Ok

So it's over with this so called BF. We got into it and he said "Just remember I'd rather starve and eat crap than deal with you."

What does that sound like to you? A no-brainer to me. He only tolerated me for what he could get out of me. Also he asked me to send him raunchy pics acting as if he was my dude then I send him and he says I'm not his woman and if I want, he'll tear up the pics. All he has done is complain about how the pix aren't at a right angle or he can't see anything, etc, etc.

I never thought I'd NOT miss him. I don't. I went on a couple of pen pal sites to see if he was on there. Nope. But of course he isn't one to spend a fee to meet anyone. But I did find one man on there that I've corresponded with and his crime is petty, nothing too crazy and we are talking. AND HE is NOTHING Like this other fool. Yes I know take it slow and I am but he sure is a breath of fresh air compared to what I've dealt with the past 2 years.
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Old 03-08-2018, 07:39 PM
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Originally Posted by isa7811 View Post
So it's over with this so called BF. We got into it and he said "Just remember I'd rather starve and eat crap than deal with you."

What does that sound like to you? A no-brainer to me. He only tolerated me for what he could get out of me. Also he asked me to send him raunchy pics acting as if he was my dude then I send him and he says I'm not his woman and if I want, he'll tear up the pics. All he has done is complain about how the pix aren't at a right angle or he can't see anything, etc, etc.

I never thought I'd NOT miss him. I don't. I went on a couple of pen pal sites to see if he was on there. Nope. But of course he isn't one to spend a fee to meet anyone. But I did find one man on there that I've corresponded with and his crime is petty, nothing too crazy and we are talking. AND HE is NOTHING Like this other fool. Yes I know take it slow and I am but he sure is a breath of fresh air compared to what I've dealt with the past 2 years.
Why not find a pen pal who isn't in prison so you won't have to worry about them using you for money etc. Just an idea
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  #3  
Old 03-09-2018, 03:58 AM
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Default Finally Over...Never Thought I'd be Ok

I am sorry to hear you have had a bad experience. Use it as a lesson learnt and move on. I donít know why you are looking for relationships with inmates but maybe you could try and meet someone in the free world. I am not saying people donít use each other in the free world but you can spend time together and build up trust. Without feeling pressured to fund them or send pics.
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Old 03-09-2018, 06:24 AM
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It sounds like he did you a favor. There are plenty of free men unless you like the idea of having penpals who are locked up. Be glad he showed you what he's truly like.
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Old 03-10-2018, 03:02 AM
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So.. pen pals is your only source for.dating?? There are men on the outside.
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Old 03-10-2018, 06:15 AM
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If I am not completely mistaken, I think you broke it off back in January the last time. Based on your past posts it would seem like a good idea to leave this relationship, for both of your sakes, so good for you for finally doing it

Not my place to tell you what to do when it comes to relationships, but maybe it could be beneficial to stop for a moment and question why you are in such a hurry to find a new relationship and, of all places, in an inmate pen pal website. Girl, the world is full of men who are not incarcerated....why not take a moment and roam the free world - meet people, go out on dates, spend time with your girlfriends...

P.S. whether or not he will be placing an ad to meet new women....that shouldn't matter to you anymore. Moving on, right?
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  #7  
Old 03-10-2018, 08:20 PM
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Choose a different route this time around. As the above comments state, maybe try finding someone in the free world?
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Old 03-11-2018, 11:29 AM
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i think guys should pay the bills in a relationship in jail or not... im traditional
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Old 03-11-2018, 12:25 PM
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i think guys should pay the bills in a relationship in jail or not... im traditional
How do you suggest they do that?
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Old 03-11-2018, 05:42 PM
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Originally Posted by onedayatatime13 View Post
How do you suggest they do that?
It's possible honestly because my man pays my phone bill every month from prison but I'm not saying he should pay everything since he's in prison lol anyways to the OP it sounds like you are on the right track and got away from a tool for sure! I see people are saying you should find someone that's free but do you boo
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Old 03-13-2018, 11:51 AM
Briele619 Briele619 is offline
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Ask for why I'd correspond with someone incarcerated...that's my business and I'm not explaining it. Maybe I was just browsing for my ex but found someone I like. To each their own. Whatever makes you happy. It's not like I'm looking for a partner or looking to fall in love. I'm completely fine by myself. I do want a kitten though but has to be Russian Blue.

As for the ex bf, I heard from one of his relatives he has HIV so I'm thanking God I ended that. Of all the people in this world, he is the last person I expect to have that. Since we don't talk anymore, I can't verify it. I wish there was a list online or at the health dept that would tell me if he does have it. But I'm in the clear because my tests have been negative for years and last time I was with him was years ago.

Again thank you for the input. I appreciate it.
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Old 03-13-2018, 01:12 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by onedayatatime13 View Post
How do you suggest they do that?

thats for them to figure out
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Old 03-13-2018, 03:53 PM
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Originally Posted by sadeyes1 View Post
thats for them to figure out
And 9/10 what they "figure out" can keep them in prison. For those that work and can send home money or pay for things, awesome. But those that can't, setting that type of bar is a setup for failure.
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Old 03-13-2018, 06:31 PM
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well if they resort to crime to pay bills... well i might consider my man choice... just musing
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Old 03-13-2018, 07:19 PM
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well if they resort to crime to pay bills... well i might consider my man choice... just musing
Believe it or not most of us here encourage and support our incarcerated loved ones to rehab during their time in prison. You're original advice flies in the face of that goal. But...

The thread isn't about this, it's about someone ending their relationship which she seems to be relieved to have done. Not sure what else needs to be added at this point.
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Old 03-16-2018, 12:41 AM
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Isa.....Girl, I'm not gonna encourage you in one direction or another. Whatever you decide to do prison pen pal or free world just take it slow and have fun.
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Old 03-27-2018, 08:44 PM
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Originally Posted by isa7811 View Post
So it's over with this so called BF. We got into it and he said "Just remember I'd rather starve and eat crap than deal with you."

What does that sound like to you? A no-brainer to me. He only tolerated me for what he could get out of me. Also he asked me to send him raunchy pics acting as if he was my dude then I send him and he says I'm not his woman and if I want, he'll tear up the pics. All he has done is complain about how the pix aren't at a right angle or he can't see anything, etc, etc.

I never thought I'd NOT miss him. I don't. I went on a couple of pen pal sites to see if he was on there. Nope. But of course he isn't one to spend a fee to meet anyone. But I did find one man on there that I've corresponded with and his crime is petty, nothing too crazy and we are talking. AND HE is NOTHING Like this other fool. Yes I know take it slow and I am but he sure is a breath of fresh air compared to what I've dealt with the past 2 years.


ungrateful b-stard he sound like chica, move on/keep movin' on, i m sure the other one will keep u smilin' and happy! if meant to be, GOD shall show you the signs and allow yourself to yes! breathe again,and enjoy gettin to know a more mature man, not an azzhat like the other loser.his loss.not yours,

so just sit back smile, live well and be happy. that's the BEST revenge,life way too short for anything else.Remember..HIS LOSS/NOT YOURS.

adios. hugs and blessings.
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Last edited by a.rare.love; 03-27-2018 at 08:50 PM..
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Old 05-13-2018, 05:29 AM
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Good job! Happy for you. You did right
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