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Prison & Jail Wedding Information Central Everything about getting married in prison or jail. Notices, pictures, questions, stories, what to expect.

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  #1  
Old 07-11-2016, 12:10 AM
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Default A Long Expected Engagement...

...well at least if you knew both of us from when we were kids.

I had picked him out to be my husband when I was TWELVE. I think he was 13 at that point. He was my champion; he protected me from everyone who bullied me, and me being autistic, missing large chunks of my hair, and completely uncoordinated, I was bullied a lot. He was quite literally my only friend. We were homeschooled in fundamentalist Christian families that believed dating was sinful. He left my life when I was 17 (in 2000), his family moving to Colorado, while I remained in California. But I still loved him. As I became an adult, our friends asked if we had entered a "courtship" yet. Because they all knew we were head over heels about each other. And I told them that his family hadn't allowed him to contact me when they moved away.

At 20, I decided that I would finally tell him how I felt about him. I was going to Colorado on vacation, and I visited his family, hoping that even if he had moved out, they would let him know that I was in town and then I could tell him everything that was in my heart since I was 12...

...only to be told by them that he was dead.

Devastated, I hardly ate or drank anything for two months. I finally really picked myself up when the next year (2004) a guy became interested in me. I married that man in 2009. He had a chronic illness that in his case was considered to be terminal.

In 2010, I found out that my guy's parents had lied to me and that he had gone to prison, also that he was still there. I sent him a jPay, and joined this site later after he had responded to me by letter.

Three years later, our feelings for each other were finally out. My husband knew, but he was actually glad for it because he'd gotten the news that he would probably die in the next few years, and he actually encouraged our relationship, because he just wanted me to be loved. He knew that it didn't mean I loved him any less, and that I would stay by his side until the end.

Before he died, he actually wrote my guy a letter, asking him to marry me. He passed away on April 1st, 2016.


So that's the story behind this. It's very unusual. My guy called every day for two months after he passed, until we ran out of money. When I told him that Tom had passed, he actually started crying with me. He wanted to make sure that I would be okay. He really wanted to be there beside me. And he told me what Tom had asked of him.


I was able to see him for the first time since we were 17 on June 24th. I was amazed at how neatly I fit into his embrace; my chin resting on his shoulder. All he had to do was bend his down and I had to tilt my head up in order to kiss. That first kiss was a bit awkward, but I was also his first kiss. He was 34. Everything felt completely natural, like we had been meant for each other all along. He was completely mesmerized by just looking into my eyes and holding my hands.

He officially proposed to me that day, and the CO in the room even let us have an extra kiss. Not a complaint in the visiting room once they found out why we got an extra.

I loved him when I was twelve, and in my heart I was never able to really give up and believe he was dead. I was never able to give up on us.

We have no idea when we'll be able to actually get married, but for both of us, we're as good as married already. He has always been my soulmate, and I have always been his. And we're not letting go for anything in the world.

He has no mandatory release date. While I would be very disappointed if he never got out, I can never give up on him. I will be his forever.
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Old 07-12-2016, 10:11 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Revenwyn View Post
...well at least if you knew both of us from when we were kids.

I had picked him out to be my husband when I was TWELVE. I think he was 13 at that point. He was my champion; he protected me from everyone who bullied me, and me being autistic, missing large chunks of my hair, and completely uncoordinated, I was bullied a lot. He was quite literally my only friend. We were homeschooled in fundamentalist Christian families that believed dating was sinful. He left my life when I was 17 (in 2000), his family moving to Colorado, while I remained in California. But I still loved him. As I became an adult, our friends asked if we had entered a "courtship" yet. Because they all knew we were head over heels about each other. And I told them that his family hadn't allowed him to contact me when they moved away.

At 20, I decided that I would finally tell him how I felt about him. I was going to Colorado on vacation, and I visited his family, hoping that even if he had moved out, they would let him know that I was in town and then I could tell him everything that was in my heart since I was 12...

...only to be told by them that he was dead.

Devastated, I hardly ate or drank anything for two months. I finally really picked myself up when the next year (2004) a guy became interested in me. I married that man in 2009. He had a chronic illness that in his case was considered to be terminal.

In 2010, I found out that my guy's parents had lied to me and that he had gone to prison, also that he was still there. I sent him a jPay, and joined this site later after he had responded to me by letter.

Three years later, our feelings for each other were finally out. My husband knew, but he was actually glad for it because he'd gotten the news that he would probably die in the next few years, and he actually encouraged our relationship, because he just wanted me to be loved. He knew that it didn't mean I loved him any less, and that I would stay by his side until the end.

Before he died, he actually wrote my guy a letter, asking him to marry me. He passed away on April 1st, 2016.


So that's the story behind this. It's very unusual. My guy called every day for two months after he passed, until we ran out of money. When I told him that Tom had passed, he actually started crying with me. He wanted to make sure that I would be okay. He really wanted to be there beside me. And he told me what Tom had asked of him.


I was able to see him for the first time since we were 17 on June 24th. I was amazed at how neatly I fit into his embrace; my chin resting on his shoulder. All he had to do was bend his down and I had to tilt my head up in order to kiss. That first kiss was a bit awkward, but I was also his first kiss. He was 34. Everything felt completely natural, like we had been meant for each other all along. He was completely mesmerized by just looking into my eyes and holding my hands.

He officially proposed to me that day, and the CO in the room even let us have an extra kiss. Not a complaint in the visiting room once they found out why we got an extra.

I loved him when I was twelve, and in my heart I was never able to really give up and believe he was dead. I was never able to give up on us.

We have no idea when we'll be able to actually get married, but for both of us, we're as good as married already. He has always been my soulmate, and I have always been his. And we're not letting go for anything in the world.

He has no mandatory release date. While I would be very disappointed if he never got out, I can never give up on him. I will be his forever.
I was very moved by your story Revenwyn. Congratulations on finding your soul-mate again, I hope and pray you'll have happiness and a good, long life together.... sparky 1979
  #3  
Old 07-13-2016, 12:11 AM
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Congratulations on your upcoming marriage!! May it all work out for both of you!
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Old 07-13-2016, 07:51 AM
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Congratulations! I wish all the best! And I am terribly sorry about the loss of your husband. It sounds like he was a great guy.
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Old 07-13-2016, 07:56 AM
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Congrats. Wishing you two all the best. You at least have peace with having your husband's blessing, may he rest in paradise.
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Old 07-13-2016, 08:35 AM
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Congratulations on very moving story I hope you are both very happy x
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Old 07-13-2016, 08:03 PM
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Love i love, in all its ways. My best to you.lovely REAL story.
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Old 07-13-2016, 09:14 PM
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Congratulations on your engagement! Blessings to you both.
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Old 08-01-2016, 08:25 AM
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Congratulations and all the best to you both, what a love story.
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Old 08-14-2016, 11:53 PM
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Thanks all!

We may be able to get married next year actually, since he has gotten all of the requirements done that he needs to be paroled. He is in a re-entry facility and his counselor there is going to write a recommendation that he be paroled upon his next hearing, which is sometime in April 2017. Meanwhile he's going to let his counselor know that he's engaged so it can be added to his notes, because due to the nature of his conviction until I'm checked out and the nature of his crime has been disclosed to me in a conference call, we can't even technically be in a physical relationship once he's out. So we're trying to get that done before he gets out or else he'd have to have a very nice parole officer willing to do all that.

At any rate, my family knows he's in prison, and miraculously they're supportive of me, and his mother has even gotten on board now. We're in the process of planning a very small wedding; basically just family. But my family has already ordered my dress and everything, I found THE DRESS and it was going to be discontinued soon. It's being completely tailor made. I have a cousin who did my pictures and makeup for my first wedding, we're going to ask her to do it again. We're going to get a dozen red roses from Trader Joe's for my bouquet, and ribbon from Michael's or Hobby Lobby and that'll be my bouquet. It'll either be an outdoor wedding or Justice of the Peace, and then reception will basically be eating at a restaurant.

At any rate, I just remembered, three and a half years ago, when things weren't quite romantic between us, I remember writing him when I heard my husband's lupus was back. I told him my deepest fear; that when I lost my husband I would never find love again.

That's when he told me that my fears were completely unfounded and that he already loved me and would never let me be alone.

In a way, I think I was subconsciously trying to ask him if he loved me in a roundabout way.
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Old 08-15-2016, 03:37 AM
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That is such a moving story thank you for sharing and congrats i wish you the best on the new chapter in your life.
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Old 05-28-2017, 04:07 PM
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Just to update, we were able to get married yesterday, May 27, 2017!
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Old 05-28-2017, 05:53 PM
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Here is a link to the new thread:

We married yesterday!

Rather than have 2 threads for posting congrats, I'll close this one
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