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Friends & Families of Addicts Information for coping, dealing & living with a loved one's addictive behavior.

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Old 01-12-2011, 11:02 AM
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Kimi06 Kimi06 is offline

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Originally Posted by wvugirl2002 View Post
I was reading the post for can u relate and noticed a lot of us are dealing with the same thing. As I read the posts and cried, I relized how much all of our stories were the same. The differences between the man we love and the man that uses. The hurt crack addiction brings to our lives and the fears. Anyway, I thought I would start this thread as a place we could all talk and support each other. I know I'm tired of feeling alone in this, tired of no one understanding why I'm still by his side, and tired of going from hope to no hope and back again.

Yes! I grew up with this guy from around the way.
He was a beautiful person and very nice looking guy.
Incredibly smart and we liked each other since 12yrs old.
However our relationship would never be anything more
than friendship because of his addiction. I always had
a great love for him and his family. His mother was the
sweetest Italian lady loved to cook and his dad hard
working and very stern and I never will forget the look
of uncertainty as they watched there son trickle down
to nothing. I moved away from home and years later I
found at thru a friend that he passed and it just hurt me.
I cried and just always thought back to the good times
when we were just innocent children it broke my heart.
I called his parents and visited them when I went home
to visit and to this day my heart bleeds for the mother
the pain one must feel to loose a child that way. He
stayed on crack from the age of 18 until 32yrs old.

Blessings and Grace

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Old 10-06-2011, 12:14 AM
Angels&Demons Angels&Demons is offline
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I'm crying just reading all these messages, I have never felt so alone in my entire life. My boyfriend is a recovering crack addict, over the last two year's he's relapsed about 15-20 times. When he relapses he only relapses for 2-3 days, the most has been 5. He relapsed a month ago, and last week and now for the last two days. He won't admit it, even though all his jewelery is gone and all of his money. I tried so many different approaches in talking to him about it, I can accept that he's relapsed and i want to help him move forward and get treatment, but how can he deal with it when he won't even admit he's using. I'm trying to live my life (we live together) and do what I have to do in hopes that he'll eventually come to me but I am just so heart broken over this and I'm wondering if this is going to be what the rest of my life will be like if I stay with him, if there is even a light at the end of the tunnel I feel like I'm going to lose him forever. I know everyone is going to tell me to leave..I should have left so many times ago I just love him so much but at the same time I am so hurt by everything he's done. He wants to pretend that nothing is wrong but I know the signs and he gets so angry when I try to talk to him about it and then he won't talk to me and I feel so goddamn alone. I feel like such an idiot too, I grew up with a sister who was a meth addict from when I was six for almost twenty years and she's 150 days sober now and somehow I managed to end up living with a crack addict. I just feel so lost. I"m sorry for rambling, its the middle of the night and I just have no one to talk to and you seemed like the people who would understand and not ridicule. If anyone would like a friend or someone to talk to, please don't hesitate to email me.
thanks for listening.
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Old 10-06-2011, 01:44 AM
mithuthecat mithuthecat is offline
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Big hugs to you,yes it is hard to accept that once a addict always a addict even if clean because you never know what is around the corner to make the person relapse, and as much as you love that person until they want to come clean then we have to accept that the evil of crack will rule there life.If you read my story you will see that like yourself I am in love with a addict as well,yes at the moment she is clean,it took a spell in prison to do that,and myself,family and friends have spoken to her regarding her addiction,she has now understood why and how se became as she is and we are working on it together,they say tht you cannot help who you fall in love with and this in my case is very true as I have left my marriage for Rachel, but there is hope and with love and all the necessary support groups we can help a addict walk away from the devil and become a real person again,if you want pm me and I will tell you all about our story and how we met
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Old 10-06-2011, 05:43 AM
Niki Niki is offline
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Welcome to PTO Angels & Demons. I'm so sorry for the circumstances that brought you here but you'll find lots of understanding within these forums. The sad reality about addicts is that until they can admit they have a problem AND they make up their mind that they want to change all we can do as their loved ones is protect ourselves from becoming an enabler, offer our support and pray for them to realize what they are doing to themselves and those who love them. My husband was just like your man for 10 long years. It wasn't until he went to prison for a year that he sobered up long enough to realize the damage he was doing to himself and his family. There were many times that I thought about leaving and those who knew about his problem thought I was a fool to stay but I just couldn't find it in my heart to desert the man I married at a time when he was so obviously in need. Was it hard? Very. Did he get angry when I wouldn't enable him and begged him to get help? Always. Would I do it again? Yes. Did it forever change our relationship? Sadly, yes. But only you can decide what is right for you. What I did find that worked was once he went to prison and I made sure he never had enough funds to use, I gave him an ultimatum. Get help, commit to sobriety or I will be gone. I only mentioned it one time and then let him think about it for a good long time. By the time he was released he knew that he had reached rock bottom and the only way to go was up. He went to meetings, changed his playground and playmates and finally got the help that he so desperately needed. I would suggest that you attend some meetings yourself so you can better understand the mind of an addict and how you can best help him. I'm available anytime if you need an understanding ear. Hugs...Niki
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Old 10-22-2011, 06:34 PM
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aggies2009 aggies2009 is offline
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Well my story sounds a lot like some of the others, but here it is. Richard has been addicted to crack for about 15 years now. The time he's out of jail or prison, he finds his way back to the horrible drug. I've experienced it from him stealing the car late at night when I would fall asleep, him overdrawing my debit & saving accounts, selling my laptop for $50 worth, running out of the house at night when he couldn't find my keys, almost stealing his sister's boyfriend's ps3 and games (we caught him that time), waking me up in the night to take him somewhere ( and i did because i rather me take him then him get hurt). See, Richard can spend over 500 on crack and he still doesn't have enough. The night he stole my debit card, he spent 700 dollars! And then he found the credit card, maxed that out too. Only to come home and try to commit suicide when he was out of money & gas! I'd see him lay in the bed for hours, shivering, throwing up, gagging, quit breathing and when he would wake up he'd eat sweets! He stole the laptop twice & I bought it back once for 100! But the second time was a failure. And that laptop cost well over 1000. He has robbed, he has beat up drug dealers, and he has forged checks. With his ex wife, he even sold the baby's formula. He is such a wonderful guy without the drugs. And I love him so much. I couldn't see my life without him. You just have to be careful & not give up. He has to want to change before he will. And the one who posted "A drug addict will not love you nor himself when on it"...SO TRUE! They will lie and manipulate you just to find their drugs. I promise you that. Just have faith. And never give up on yourself either. But never let him bring you down! I've learned from my mistakes.
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Old 10-23-2011, 07:51 AM
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aggies2009 aggies2009 is offline
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And always remember, never give up. When they are ready to change, they will!
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