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  #51  
Old 07-12-2018, 11:18 PM
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im not not ok with him using other women but he tells me everything and i talk to everyone hes using so they know me however im known as his "sister" so they dont know but i know what they tell him and i know what he tells them at all times he tells i just like to know everything but im not ok with him using anyone however if they choose to send him money this cycle has to end
You talk to everyone he’s using and you don’t have the balls to tell them? You know what I think? I think you enjoy all this drama. You said it yourself “I just like to know everything”. Your thinking is if they choose to send him money, oh well? You deserve everything you get. If you didn’t like it you would be gone by now. Shame on you for using your child support to fund your obsession you have with this man. Grow up and start acting like an adult.
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  #52  
Old 07-13-2018, 06:13 AM
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this is my last post on here i have contacted the moderators to remove this post this was only supposed to be a vent and it has turned into a bullying and bashing session about me, my mothering capabilities and my relationship and THAT is what im not ok with first of all nobody on here knows me, what kind of mother i am or what my relatiionship is really all about and so shouldnt speak on it!!!!! i am a fantastic mother and my son wants or needs for nothing my son is 15 walks around in all the lastest gear and has 1,200 phone when i dont even have a cell phone because i have to make sacrifices for my child hes a teenager and he wants what every teeenager has about my relationship i know whats best for me and i know what i have to do to get there and i will do what i feel is best for ME and MY SON.....i have raised my son by myself and comtinue to do so......and thats it and its alot of judgmental people when i dont understand why if yall go thru the forum its alot of women doing what i am doing and its some that wont speak out because of embarrasment and everybody in here is supporting a man in prison so i dont understand everybody has put there life on hold in some shape or form for a man in prison or u wouldnt be on this forum or it's ok for women to take their young children to visit a man in prison??? LOL please get out of here my son has never seen a prison except on television and he never willl so please stop with all the BULL OH YEAH and for those who think i need this man for body shaming issues or self esteem issues uh no LOL thats laughable i habe no problem getting and keeping a man or a woman for that matter since i like both LOL....WOW YALL PEOPLE ON A PRISON FORUM IS SOMETHING ELSE..i havent met this man yet due to financial isssues i refuse to spend the money to go to florida when its not neccessary right now

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  #53  
Old 07-13-2018, 06:38 AM
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No one is bullying you lol
You just mad because you're seeing through all this & aren’t encouraging the behavior or supporting you the way you want. No one questioned your mothering skills. We questioned when you said you'll have to find another way to pay for your sons phone bill. Like i already to you in a previous comment.

Most of the woman in here have probably GONE through a relationship like this so there being real with you.
If you cant take constructive support and real talk . Then yes you should leave.

Women here support each other the RIGHT way.
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this is my last post on here i have contacted the moderators to remove this post this was only supposed to be a vent and it has turned into a bullying and bashing session about me, my mothering capabilities and my relationship and THAT is what im not ok with first of all nobody on here knows me, what kind of mother i am or what my relatiionship is really all about and so shouldnt speak on it!!!!! i am a fantastic mother and my son wants or needs for nothing my son is 15 walks around in all the lastest gear and has 1,200 phone when i dont even have a cell phone because i have to make sacrifices for my child hes a teenager and he wants what every teeenager has about my relationship i know whats best for me and i know what i have to do to get there and i will do what i feel is best for ME and MY SON.....i have raised my son by myself and comtinue to do so......and thats it and its alot of judgmental people when i dont understand why if yall go thru the forum its alot of women doing what i am doing and its some that wont speak out because of embarrasment and everybody in here is supporting a man in prison so i dont understand everybody has put there life on hold in some shape or form for a man in prison or u wouldnt be on this forum or it's ok for women to take their young children to visit a man in prison??? LOL please get out of here my son has never seen a prison except on television and he never willl so please stop with all the BULL OH YEAH and for those who think i need this man for body shaming issues or self esteem issues uh no LOL thats laughable i habe no problem getting and keeping a man or a woman for that matter since i like both LOL....WOW YALL PEOPLE ON A PRISON FORUM IS SOMETHING ELSE..i havent met this man yet due to financial isssues i refuse to spend the money to go to florida when its not neccessary right now

Last edited by jordan321; 07-13-2018 at 07:23 AM..
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  #54  
Old 07-13-2018, 06:49 AM
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No one is bullying you lol
You just mad because youre seeing through all this & aren’t encourageing the behavior or supportig you the way you want. No one questioned your mothering skills. We questioned because you said youll have to find abother way to pay for your sons phone bill. Like i already to you in a previous comment.

Most of the woman in here have probably GONE through a relationship like this so theyre being real with iyou.
If you cant take constructive support and real talk . Then yes you should leave.

Women here support each other the RIGHT way.
ok what im not going to do is go back and forth with you on a forum LOL...MY bday is next week and im WAY too grown for this however like i said before this was a VENTING post i didnt ask for anybody to support me in anything nobody knows me..nobbody puts food in me or my son's mouth so i honesty could care less what everybody thinks and yes most people was mentioning my son in every post the people who has constructive criticism i can take ALL DAY LONG...cause thats what grown people do but people saying i have self esteem issues is why i choose to be with a man in prison and i should have my son taken away from me??? i mean if u call that constructive then honey maybe u should have your head examined so does everybody on this forum have self esteem or body shaming issues cause like i stated before everybody on here is in some form of relationship with a prisoner.....and that's fine but dont say thats the only kind of man i can get my bf found me i didnt find him also the person who post is above mines u should really reread your post first u said no one questioned my mothering skills and then u said yall questioned because!!!!! honey please which one is it????

Last edited by ToFaswife; 07-13-2018 at 06:52 AM.. Reason: forgot something
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  #55  
Old 07-13-2018, 06:50 AM
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this is my last post on here i have contacted the moderators to remove this post
We do not generally delete threads/posts, sorry. When you post your business out here you need to be prepared to have advice and opinions that you might not necessarily like. Please know that this crowd has your best interest in mind and we are only trying to help you see how your could improve your situation, which, based on your multiple threads, is not healthy.

Having said that, I have deleted a post with unnecessary name calling from this thread so here is a little reminder for us all - no matter how frustrating it might feel when someone is blocking all helpful advice...let's remember this:

PTO Community Purpose
The purpose of the Prison Talk Online community is Prisoner & Family Support, Information and Assistance.
While we encourage interest from people with a range of viewpoints seeking to learn more, anything beyond a genuine, friendly dialog is not welcome.

People who are (or were) involved with the Prison System find that they encounter a wide range of difficulties and challenges.
PTO was founded as a forum to help family members cope with these experiences; through the provision of non-judgmental support and the sharing of information.

PTO is not the place to debate whether or not anyone should be in prison, should prisoners and their families have rights or what kind of punishments should be meted out to the guilty.


We look forward to seeing you posting in the forums and hope that we can help you with any issues that you may be experiencing.
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  #56  
Old 07-13-2018, 06:57 AM
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ok what im not going to do is go back and forth with you on a forum LOL...MY bday is next week and im WAY too grown for this however like i said before this was a VENTING post i didnt ask for anybody to support me in anything nobody knows me..nobbody puts food in me or my son's mouth so i honesty could care less what everybody thinks and yes most people was mentioning my son in every post the people who has constructive criticism i can take ALL DAY LONG...cause thats what grown people do but people saying i have self esteem issues is why i choose to be with a man in prison and i should have my son taken away from me??? i mean if u call that constructive then honey maybe u should have your head examined so does everybody on this forum have self esteem or body shaming issues cause like i stated before everybody on here is in some form of relationship with a prisoner.....and that's fine but dont say thats the only kind of man i can get my bf found me i didnt find him also the person who post is above mines u should really reread your post first u said no one questioned my mothering skills and then u said yall questioned because!!!!! honey please which one is it????
May I just chime in one last time? It might really seem as bashing and not understanding you but I believe it's just a way to make you wake up! It's like - if you would stand in front of me for example - I'd shake you and trying to make you understand.
You are all those things you say I believe (I really don't know you) but I believe you also are in a really bad situation with this guy that makes you feel and maybe do weird things. He's not good for you. You are better than that!!! I know that!!
Being an MWI is hard, really hard but there's no excuse for his behavior. Again, you are better than that!!!
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  #57  
Old 07-13-2018, 07:19 AM
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Marseille Marseille is offline
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.nobbody puts food in me or my son's mouth
Except his father, who is currently 100% supporting the three of you. You, the kid, and your “boyfriend”. I wonder what he’d think if he were to somehow find out?

You insist you have no self esteem issues... but a well-balanced, mentally healthy person does not stay in a pseudo-relationship with a man like this.

Your story is such a caricature of the stereotypical “prison wife” that I honestly had a difficult time believing at first that you were a real person telling a real story. It simply did not seem possible that one person could experience literally every red flag in the book and yet somehow not see the light.

I can see now that you are probably for real and it’s absolutely heartbreaking because you aren’t going to get it, you aren’t going to snap out of it. He’s a crocodile, he’s got you in the death roll, and for you the only way out is drowning. I’m one of the coldest, most heartless bitches on this board, but I’m genuinely sad for your child.

Good luck to you, and may the gods help your poor kid.
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  #58  
Old 07-13-2018, 07:19 AM
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people saying i have self esteem issues is why i choose to be with a man in prison and i should have my son taken away from me??? i mean if u call that constructive then honey maybe u should have your head examined so does everybody on this forum have self esteem or body shaming issues cause like i stated before everybody on here is in some form of relationship with a prisoner.
I think you are missing a point here - nobody is saying you have self-esteem issues because you are with a man in prison. All these posts and me saying you might have self-esteem issues are based on the fact that you continue to be with a man who treats you like crap. Prison or no prison, this guy is not a nice person and we are all expressing our concern for you because accepting his behavior is not normal. If any member here would post the kind of posts you have been posting, constantly being upset about how your man treats you, I would respond the same way. It is not prison, it is not how he was brought up, it isn't any of the excuses you have laid out for him -- it is HIM...he is a bad person, and there is something deeply disturbing about you staying with him and making excuses for him.

This is my last post in this thread, enough is enough - I wish you the very best
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  #59  
Old 07-13-2018, 08:11 AM
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Default I just need to vent...MWI is soooo mean to me

I have supported you on this thread and recognised that you are raising your son alone. That is such a hard job. I saw you as a victim of this man and his scamming. You would not have been alone there it’s very easy to get taken in by a skilled con artist and it has happened to many who post on here.
What has shocked me is that you are colluding with this horrible man in scamming other women. Phoning them saying you are his sister. You are no doubt requesting money on his behalf.
That doesn’t make you special because you know about his scams and you help him. It makes you as bad as him.
I have no more words I feel so bad for the other women you and he are scamming.
Please think about your actions and good luck to you . I am out
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  #60  
Old 07-13-2018, 09:53 AM
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If I found out my husbands sister (who has befriended me and had numerous conversations with me about my husband) turned out to be his GIRLFRIEND I would feel so violated and CREEPED OUT beyond belief. That is predatory behavior.
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Old 07-13-2018, 01:41 PM
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My 2 cents worth. You are as bad as each other. You are scamming for him, he is scamming you. The people here have been nothing but supportive and because you don't like what they have said, you turned. Just like your BF. Your talk of supporting your son, it is his fathers money and your friends house, your support is maternal.
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Old 07-13-2018, 08:03 PM
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I just want you to take a moment to think about life with him after he's released. If he's controlling and manipulative from behind bars, it's not going to get any better when he's out.

My ex wasn't a MWI, but he was controlling and manipulative. He hasn't been nearly as bad while in prison, because it isn't face to face. But in person? Yeah.. It was threats, constantly, until I was worn down and gave in.

And it is about self-esteem. It's how men like this target women like us. A few months after I broke up with him I had begun seeing a counselor, and I've been able to gain a little bit of my power back. I won't address the scamming, I think it speaks for itself. Well, I'll just touch on it real quickly.. My ex has a substance abuse problem. We were homeless at the time and I had no where to go, and no one to turn to. I followed him every where, sadly. One day, he called an old friend and asked for a ride. All he told me was to say I was his sister. Turns out his old friend was gay and he wanted to flirt some drugs out of him. He left me waiting twice for him that day; Once for close to an hour in a restaurant, the second time was after 11 pm. He left me sitting at a closed convenience store for almost two hours; I was cold, all alone, and scared. He didn't give a crap. Stop pretending to be his "sister."

Last edited by Rigora; 07-13-2018 at 08:14 PM..
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Old 07-14-2018, 12:11 AM
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Honey, you may not realize that your guy seems to be following a formula that many (not all, but many) inmates use to secure someone on the outside as a source for funds and someone to do their time with them .. it goes like this: they post an ad on an inmate pen pal website, usually crafted to tug at your heartstrings. You find the ad and decide to write to the inmate because the ad struck a chord with you. You send him your first letter. Soon, you receive an answer from the inmate; his letter tells you how lonely he is, he has no one, has had a rough life, and he thinks he has found his guardian angel in you. He gets romantic super fast, before you know it he’s telling you he loves you and wants to marry you. From this point you’re hooked. The next thing is the requests for money .. he’s in trouble inside, has debts, he’ll get beat up if you don’t “save” him with a few healthy deposits to his books. The demands for money grow; he needs more and more and more. When you eventually balk at his requests, Prince Charming has ‘left the building’ and Mr. Nasty takes his place; and he will keep Mr. Nasty nearby for whenever you show resistance; he’s teaching you to not oppose him. OP, he will keep this up as long as you will tolerate it and keep fulfilling his requests. And, it’s very unlikely you’re the only lady he’s working; he likely has several women he’s talking to, at the same time he’s talking to you. It’s the oldest prison scam there is. You have never met this man. You don’t know him. Do some Googling on inmate or prison scams, there’s lots on the web to read about this. You might also want to read some threads in the “When the Relationship is Over” forum on this website; many stories are from ladies who were MWI. The ladies on here, including myself, are only trying to help you see your situation, clearly, for what it is.
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Old 07-14-2018, 12:55 AM
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You know I have to say most every one on here is really trying to help you and give you truly sound advice yet at this point you've closed yourself off from it all and that's ok cause in the end game girl your heart will be broken. You'll feel as though it was completely pulled out and up though your throat. You'll cry and wonder why this was done to you and how could you have let it. I've travelled that road but out here. I know the prison games, I road that ride in there and some would say I got my pay back. I'm just saying for someone who has never met this man and really doesn't know him in person this road you are on is going to end bad for you, maybe not now, maybe not this year but it will end bad at some point. You've never traveled a path like this, it's hard for a person to understand this life. Yes, everyone on here has their own story to tell and see where you will be headed. Yes, seeking help is needed. I don't think anyone on here is judging you girl maybe just being a little harsh but you don't see it nor understand it. Yes you came to vent but when a person puts something out on an open forum like this you stand to hear things you won't agree with. None of us knows you yet a lot of us will feel for you when that time comes. Don't close yourself off from the advice given, take a minute to look at what was really said. Right now the defense walls are up maybe because you know very deep down inside you some of what has been said it's true. This is only my look at it and only my opinion. I wish you all the best in this and May the Lord give you strength to move away from a situation that is not worthy of your love.
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Old 07-14-2018, 08:35 AM
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I don't know if you read all of it, but she is helping him scam other women for money.
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Honey, you may not realize that your guy seems to be following a formula that many (not all, but many) inmates use to secure someone on the outside as a source for funds and someone to do their time with them .. it goes like this: they post an ad on an inmate pen pal website, usually crafted to tug at your heartstrings. You find the ad and decide to write to the inmate because the ad struck a chord with you. You send him your first letter. Soon, you receive an answer from the inmate; his letter tells you how lonely he is, he has no one, has had a rough life, and he thinks he has found his guardian angel in you. He gets romantic super fast, before you know it he’s telling you he loves you and wants to marry you. From this point you’re hooked. The next thing is the requests for money .. he’s in trouble inside, has debts, he’ll get beat up if you don’t “save” him with a few healthy deposits to his books. The demands for money grow; he needs more and more and more. When you eventually balk at his requests, Prince Charming has ‘left the building’ and Mr. Nasty takes his place; and he will keep Mr. Nasty nearby for whenever you show resistance; he’s teaching you to not oppose him. OP, he will keep this up as long as you will tolerate it and keep fulfilling his requests. And, it’s very unlikely you’re the only lady he’s working; he likely has several women he’s talking to, at the same time he’s talking to you. It’s the oldest prison scam there is. You have never met this man. You don’t know him. Do some Googling on inmate or prison scams, there’s lots on the web to read about this. You might also want to read some threads in the “When the Relationship is Over” forum on this website; many stories are from ladies who were MWI. The ladies on here, including myself, are only trying to help you see your situation, clearly, for what it is.
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Old 07-14-2018, 08:36 AM
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I’m sorry you feel attacked. It can be difficult when you are so deeply involved in a situation to see how messed up it is. I would like to suggest that you take a break from the situation and see how it looks to you thirty days after no contact with this man. You might find things look very different when you are not in the middle of the craziness. You’ve fallen down a rabbit hole and he has you convinced that up is down and left is right. You’re participating in fraudulent activity for this man. You’re an accomplice to scamming. You’re spending child support money on someone who offers absolutely nothing to your well-being and security or that of your child.

Give yourself a gift for your birthday- a month of no contact. If he’s a good man he’ll be there when you come back. If you use the time wisely, you may discover you don’t want him back.
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  #67  
Old 07-16-2018, 06:07 AM
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Almost unbelievable if I had not gone through the same thing. You are in love and the rose colored glasses won't allow you to see the fertilizer aka shit that helps it grow. Your man makes threats but he's not going to let you go. If you try to leave it will insult his ego. He will balk and throw tantrums, then you'll get the puppy dog ,then the I'm sorry, I dont know what wrong with me. Until he accepts he can't get what he wants, you are bottom bitch. When he does accept it, then hell be done with you.
Stop sending money again and stick it out. He has nothing but time. Thats why jus called a long con. Eventually, he may accept no money but there will be a laundry list of other things you NEED to do for him so you all can have a happy life when he comes home.
This thread may not have helped you, but it has helped me. I married my con and have been proudly wearing my glasses since 2003. But.... the more i improve myself the clearer the glasses become.and i will say it is a little sad thinking about divorce. I'm 15 years deep and we have ties that are hard to unbind and like you I still have not left him for dead. But unlike you, I don't send my own money anymore.i have a great therapist and I'm starting to see things differently.
Sorry you got "beat up" or beat down in this thread, but what you wrote is shocking. Shame on you for lying about being his sister. That's when the thread turned on you. And you should have known the welfare of the child was going to speak volumes. What good is the phone with no service. Pay that child bill and anything for yourself before your man. You need other income for your man. You know that.
You can talk to me in private and I will keep with real with you. Like I said, I married a con and still wont file divorce.
Bottom line. You may not have liked how people talked to you, but they speak to truth. I mean it's almost EXACTLY the same damn con over and over. You really need to go and read some threads. I guess it's the oldest trick in the book because it works. Lord Help!
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Last edited by MissOne; 07-16-2018 at 06:16 AM..
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  #68  
Old 07-18-2018, 06:42 PM
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Hunnylisa18 Hunnylisa18 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ToFaswife View Post
yeah i understand that and honestly that was just how i was feeling and it was part of the vent post thats all i didn't mean it literal and i never did it and never will
Great! You can write a letter of closure and then block him from your phone. I had a similar situation with my ex... And that's why he's my ex. Lol. I found someone else who really loves me and doesn't ask for anything and it'll be on me if I choose to do stuff. Stay strong, you have a good heart that doesn't need to be taken advantage of. Love yourself and know your worth!
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  #69  
Old 07-20-2018, 05:55 PM
Iárnvidia Iárnvidia is offline
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This is really alarming. Don't do this to yourself. You deserve relationships which make you happy. I understand wanting to be there for somebody with a troubled past who has no one else to care for him (it's the same with my guy) but he's GOT to respect you.
And being asked to put money on the other guys' accounts for him... It sounds like maybe HE himself is being exploited, forced to pay protection money or something. Or he is up to something illegal, which could come back on you.
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  #70  
Old 08-12-2018, 04:18 PM
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Wow I hate to say this but this inmate found his bread and butter and she is just allowing him to take take take and she will have nothing left once he is done girl you need to learn to love yourself put yourself first than you will see how much you are hurting your son by even entertaining the fact you are talking to a inmate who does not love you he is using you it is as clear as day just read all the post if you are not able to understand it than I guess it will be your own undoing because he is going to take you for all you are worth and leave you with nothing and he will be onto his next score cause the minute the money runs out he will be gone he will not even look back so girl be better than that and do this to him now YOU ARE BEING USED AND YOU ARE SHOWING YOUR SON HE IS NOT YOUR FIRST PRIORITY ... Walk Away From This Piece Of SHIT Love Yourself ENOUGH To Get Your Life Back For You And Your Son Forget About This LOSER
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  #71  
Old 08-27-2018, 12:10 AM
Yvettee805 Yvettee805 is online now
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yeah i know but believe it or not its easier said than done im completely in love with him at this point and i cant never bring myself to block his calls or anything

I hope you see this and I pray things are different for you and your son, You need to be completely in love with your son not this man who is unhealthy for you. Your son is the man who will always be there for you, your blood.
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