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Met While Incarcerated Were you introduced by a friend or family member after he/she was incarcerated? Did you meet as Pen Pals? This Forum is for you!

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  #26  
Old 08-05-2019, 08:07 AM
Kimimi Kimimi is offline
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If it helps any I didn’t meet my mwi until the day he got out. I would be real surprised if your ex won a no contact unless your man has some sex, domestic violence or violence charges. Your kids are young stay home and take care of them this man will wait he’s not going anywhere. We didn’t meet because my man wanted to meet as a free man with no visiting room drama, cop drama or inmate drama for me. We didn’t want to meet and be told how long we could visit how much we can touch etc. I probably wouldn’t lie much more to the kids they are going to figure it out eventually. What’s gonna happen when he gets out and isn’t a “cop” anymore?
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  #27  
Old 08-05-2019, 09:22 AM
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If it helps any I didn’t meet my mwi until the day he got out. I would be real surprised if your ex won a no contact unless your man has some sex, domestic violence or violence charges. Your kids are young stay home and take care of them this man will wait he’s not going anywhere. We didn’t meet because my man wanted to meet as a free man with no visiting room drama, cop drama or inmate drama for me. We didn’t want to meet and be told how long we could visit how much we can touch etc. I probably wouldn’t lie much more to the kids they are going to figure it out eventually. What’s gonna happen when he gets out and isn’t a “cop” anymore?

It's a murder charge for being at the scene when someone else was killed (I've read the news articles).



I've since not allowed the kids to talk to my MWI. He's sad but okay with it. When he's out in 3.5 years we'll figure out what we're gonna do from there.
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  #28  
Old 08-07-2019, 03:01 AM
Itshardtowait Itshardtowait is offline
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When I got divorced, 2 small kids. No prison involved, my Ex promised to sign off on the piece of property that my parents gave me, 50/50 custody, no spousal support. We both had Lawyers, we went to court to finalize, he decided he didn’t want to sign off on property after all, My Lawyer made the statement that my soon to be ex was having a online relationship with a woman in Germany, the Judge looked at my ex and asked if that was the truth he said it was. The Judge had my property quit claimed back to me, I had full custody, child support and spousal support, I just asked for my property, the Judge decided the rest because in his opinion my soon to be ex was having an affair. He did get to see the kids 2 days out of the month. So don’t go into court expecting it to come out one way, the Judge rules how he wants.
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  #29  
Old 08-19-2019, 01:07 PM
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Ok so I need advice - my stbx wants no contact between my kids and my MWI. Fine, whatever. But I want to continue my relationship with my MWI and the kids are with me the majority of the time. I want to keep taking calls at home and doing video visits. However - my stbx refuses to give me times when he will for sure be with the kids so I can have my video visits, and I have to schedule those things a week in advance.... what am I supposed to do here? Would I be a terrible mom if I asked my stbx to give me some times when he thinks he'll be with the kids so I can carry on my relationship?
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Old 08-19-2019, 01:29 PM
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Ok so I need advice - my stbx wants no contact between my kids and my MWI. Fine, whatever. But I want to continue my relationship with my MWI and the kids are with me the majority of the time. I want to keep taking calls at home and doing video visits. However - my stbx refuses to give me times when he will for sure be with the kids so I can have my video visits, and I have to schedule those things a week in advance.... what am I supposed to do here? Would I be a terrible mom if I asked my stbx to give me some times when he thinks he'll be with the kids so I can carry on my relationship?
Is it possible to schedule the video visits for when the kids are sleeping? If so then there would be no contact between the kids and your MWI for sure so you would still be doing as you stbx is asking of you. I wouldn’t count on the ex to be very forthcoming on when he will be with the kids since it seems like he wants to make things as difficult for you as possible.
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Old 08-19-2019, 02:44 PM
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You taking a call doesnt mean the kids have contact. They cannot get on the phone call and talk to him.

The less your ex knows the better. Dont be so forthcoming and share everything with him.
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  #32  
Old 08-19-2019, 03:52 PM
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You taking a call doesnt mean the kids have contact. They cannot get on the phone call and talk to him.

The less your ex knows the better. Dont be so forthcoming and share everything with him.
my kids have a terrible tendency to tell my stbx they talked to my mwi especially when I tell them not to tell their dad... but they are 4 and 8 so idk what I expect. Last night my stbx told me my 4y/o told him she talked to my mwi, and then when I asked my kid she said her dad asked her - he says he didn't, so idk.

and @Amanda - no, the latest is like 9p my time and my kids aren't usually asleep by then.
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Old 08-19-2019, 08:55 PM
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my kids have a terrible tendency to tell my stbx they talked to my mwi especially when I tell them not to tell their dad... but they are 4 and 8 so idk what I expect. Last night my stbx told me my 4y/o told him she talked to my mwi, and then when I asked my kid she said her dad asked her - he says he didn't, so idk.

and @Amanda - no, the latest is like 9p my time and my kids aren't usually asleep by then.
Any chance to have the video visits earlier than the kids wake up? Or if you have a set nap time for the younger one that could possibly work since school should be close to starting back up for the older one unless you do homeschooling. Another idea would be do you have a family member who would possibly taken the kiddos out for lunch or to the park to play for when you schedule your video visits?
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Old 08-20-2019, 07:46 AM
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Any chance to have the video visits earlier than the kids wake up? Or if you have a set nap time for the younger one that could possibly work since school should be close to starting back up for the older one unless you do homeschooling. Another idea would be do you have a family member who would possibly taken the kiddos out for lunch or to the park to play for when you schedule your video visits?

No because I work M-F and have classes until 10p 3 nights a week. Family members - both parents live in another state and my husband has successfully turned them against me anyway so... but hey, thanks for brainstorming
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Old 08-20-2019, 09:57 AM
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I would just continue on as you were l, honestly. Taking a call is not allowing them contact and I’ve never heard of a no contact agreement for kids that includes YOU talking to your person. Of course, that all depends on the possible consequences for you or you kids if your wusband gets upset.

I wouldn’t even bring any of it up to your kids. They have no obligation to keep secrets for you or explain why they mention things going on at your house. If you’re doing things around your kids, just expect they’ll tell your ex.
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  #36  
Old 08-20-2019, 12:42 PM
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I would just continue on as you were l, honestly. Taking a call is not allowing them contact and I’ve never heard of a no contact agreement for kids that includes YOU talking to your person. Of course, that all depends on the possible consequences for you or you kids if your wusband gets upset.

I wouldn’t even bring any of it up to your kids. They have no obligation to keep secrets for you or explain why they mention things going on at your house. If you’re doing things around your kids, just expect they’ll tell your ex.

I'll be talking to my lawyer on the best way for me to comply with his demands; I think it's unfair of him to want this but refuse to give me any sort of idea when I can take these video visits.. I mean I have to schedule these things a week in advance so....
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Old 08-20-2019, 01:07 PM
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Default Does anyone else have kids from a man in the freeworld & are MWI?

I can see it’s difficult for you but it’s necessary that you comply and remain discreet for yours and your children’s sake.
Your stbx doesn’t have to tell you when to have video visits or calls those things are for you to arrange. As long as the children are not on the phone not involved in the video visits and not being involved in any way in your contact with your Mwi you should be fine.
You children shouldn’t have to cover for you have your contact when they are in bed or with family members. Also maybe don’t tell your stbx all your business you are entitled to some privacy. Also I think he is trying to act in the best interest of your children I think you would be the same if it were the other way around.
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  #38  
Old 08-20-2019, 04:27 PM
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Not sure if this is the right place but I want to know if anyone else has kids from a free world relationship, and then later hooked up with and started dating a man in prison. If so, what did the kids think? How soon did you introduce them? Did the other parent fight you on whether the kids could be around them if you're still together when released?
Both of our daughters were 2, give or take a few months, his is older.

his was taken into the darkness of the moms side of the family and mine was very much raised knowing everything; speaking to him, writing and visiting... he was a massive part of my life, but with my daughter being so young and involved, it's as though the situation was fluid, simply flowed smoothly.

Luckily for me, my ex / her dad had no say in her life. Do to my case / felonies I could not visit my MWI for 7 years ((the non visiting was detrimental, crazy rough and sad, but we made it)). I married him 2 years after being able to visit .

My daughter is going to be 22 this October, that's the latest hubby should be in for, he's been granted parole, that was 6/5/2019 - kido has been involved through the entire ride, knows everything we've been through, has had her own calls and letters with him, she witnessed our friendship, the wedding - literally, her signature is on our marriage license , then I left him, we're back in touch and soon my daughter will be there to document his release.

Her dad is a worthless father - so it was easy for me to involve her in this relationship.

Take it day by day, if things roll smoothly, that's awesome!

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  #39  
Old 08-20-2019, 11:38 PM
Itshardtowait Itshardtowait is offline
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This is going to be your ex husband, so he no ,onger needs to be involved in your private life, yes he’s in the kids. I’d tell him he needs to pick a day and a time to visit with them or he’s not getting them, your going to have to get tougher with him, it sounds like he is still bossing you around, please don’t take this anymore, how long are video visits? Can’t you go into the bathroom and do them? They don’t come into the bathroom when your using it. Put on a movie for them, give them popcorn or whatever snack, and they can do that while you spend the time in your bedroom, put a lock on your bedroom door, or lock the bathroom door. Please stop telling your soon to be ex anything but things to do with the children. It’s not his business anymore. I’d tell him outright, stay out of my personal business, and be very strong when you enforce your privacy. Stand up for yourself, the kids can’t tell what they don’t know.
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  #40  
Old 08-23-2019, 05:48 AM
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We’ve worked it out to where we have split physical custody and a schedule - now I don’t have to worry so much!
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Old 08-23-2019, 10:08 AM
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We’ve worked it out to where we have split physical custody and a schedule - now I don’t have to worry so much!
That is great news!
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