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  #1  
Old 10-07-2010, 07:16 AM
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Default Speaking in public?

Has anyone shared their story in public? I have been asked by a woman at the DV shelter to speak to a group of victims that are not even close to being survivors. I am very close to the woman that asked me but she isnt pushing me to do it. It is on a Friday the 22nd of Oct, and my attack happened 5-22. How weird is that. I feel im strong enough to do it, but not sure if I can answer questions that im not prepared for. My faith in God has healed me, I chose to not see a therapist and heal spiritually and some people dont understand that. I am ok with the rape because it is what God chose for me but you just cant tell strangers "God wanted it to happen be glad in it"
I have even forgiven my attacker, I dont have contact with him and have not told him that.But did face him in custody court and God gave me the strength and ability to feel nothing at seeing him. And will push for max time in prison so he cant get near my son. But in my heart I have forgiven and thats also hard to explain.
Im torn, I am going to school now for Criminal Justice and want to work with rape victims and help change some of the crazy laws if possible. Just dont want to say the wrong thing to someone. SO many people were there for me when I was healing and I want to help someone.
Any advice? Anyone else speak in public?
Thanks,
Lisa
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  #2  
Old 10-07-2010, 07:35 AM
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Lisa, im not sure i have any good advice...
I have shared my story publicly at a AA meeting.
I would say just be honest, speak from the heart.
The only thing i can think of is sometimes talking about it can trigger deep feelings and you could break down.
You say you have processed it and have forgiven so maybe that would not happen.
Im sure someone will have better advice.
Congratulations though, its always a blessing to be able to share ones experience with those who need healing.
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Old 10-07-2010, 08:55 PM
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Originally Posted by SpicaRigel View Post
Lisa, im not sure i have any good advice...
I have shared my story publicly at a AA meeting.
I would say just be honest, speak from the heart.
The only thing i can think of is sometimes talking about it can trigger deep feelings and you could break down.
You say you have processed it and have forgiven so maybe that would not happen.
Im sure someone will have better advice.
Congratulations though, its always a blessing to be able to share ones experience with those who need healing.

I agree with SpciaRigel..

The only place I have shared my story
other than on here is at group
and of course at the court when I was
getting my DV RO.
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Old 10-08-2010, 04:06 AM
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Spica took the words right out of my mouth. If you do decide to speak, just speak from the heart.
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Old 10-08-2010, 06:42 AM
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Lisa, just a thought...our member, allmb, is having a speaking engagement coming up, its on a different topic. He posted it in The Lounge.
You might try pm'ing him.
I have talked with him on the phone and he has great insights.
Just a thought.
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Old 10-08-2010, 08:47 AM
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If you are able to help one woman not go back, save herself and maybe even her children...that is a wonderful thing :-)...
You are very brave to do this, as it is not an easy thing to do...I post here often because my heart is with all women that have been through what I have been through and although anonymous, I hope to help them in any way I can. I would be frightened as well to speak to an audience but there won't be one woman there that wouldn't understand and relate and appreciate how brave you are to reach out to them..and hopefully, it may save at least one from continuing to be hurt...May God Bless you!
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Old 10-08-2010, 03:04 PM
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I just wanted to add that you shouldn't worry about having to defend your spiritual standpoint either. I'm on a much better path to healing now (I think) and I don't share your faith, but I would've been able to sit and listen to your story and take courage and strength from your words. I may not understand your means of personal healing, but the fact that it is possible would've provided hope for me during some of my darker times.

.......as the others have said. Speak from the heart - I think it can be freeing for the speaker and the listener. X
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Old 10-15-2010, 12:56 PM
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If this sounds like a slightly daunting task for you, can you manage to do it as a smaller part of the meeting rather than the whole?

I know you're sure you're finished with the emotions of your ordeal, but I would be surprised if some things didn't come back up as you discuss it in public. Some sort of limit or support might be helpful. Just as a "assume the best, plan for the worst" sort of approach.
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Old 10-20-2010, 06:42 PM
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Thanks everyone! I have decided to speak and share my story. I have been having more nightmares about being trapped, and have been feeling "off key" I think im just nervouse and will feel bettter when its over. I look at my son and praise GOD everyday for him and know he will give me the strength to do this. Not sure if I can answer all the questions answered. Just tell the truth!!
Thanks for all the replies!
Lisa
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Old 10-20-2010, 07:37 PM
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learn a great deal from you, whether you have all the answers isn't important, but your survival is, and they will take heart from that.

The nightmares may be another round of flashbacks, another loop on the spiral of getting healthy. It doesn't tend to happen all at once.
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Old 10-25-2010, 11:23 AM
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I share my story nearly every week. The difference is that I am in a group of offenders trying to learn new ways of conducting ourselves as men in healthy relationships. I have been in this class now over 45 weeks, and it is amazing to see how people change. Most guys come in still holding resentments and angry that they have to do this class. Within a couple of months, guys spend less time complaining about how they were done wrong, and begin to see what we could have done differently. Even more amazing is that most of us begin to have compassion or at least understanding for our 'victims'.

You speaking engagement would have happened a few days ago. I hope it went well, if you decided to do it. It is awesome that God healed you and you have survived with a great attitude so recently after your attack. It would be more awesome if you are able to help someone else get out of an unhealthy relationship before it gets to be too late. You are to be applauded in your efforts.

Never be ashamed to give glory to the One that heals. If God did it, then say so. People are so quick to discount spiritual healing because they have not experienced it, or just do not know God. How wil they learn the Truth if it is not spoken? I hope you continue to have the strength and courage to give credit to your Healer.
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Old 10-25-2010, 01:04 PM
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I share my story nearly every week. The difference is that I am in a group of offenders trying to learn new ways of conducting ourselves as men in healthy relationships. I have been in this class now over 45 weeks, and it is amazing to see how people change. Most guys come in still holding resentments and angry that they have to do this class. Within a couple of months, guys spend less time complaining about how they were done wrong, and begin to see what we could have done differently. Even more amazing is that most of us begin to have compassion or at least understanding for our 'victims'.

You speaking engagement would have happened a few days ago. I hope it went well, if you decided to do it. It is awesome that God healed you and you have survived with a great attitude so recently after your attack. It would be more awesome if you are able to help someone else get out of an unhealthy relationship before it gets to be too late. You are to be applauded in your efforts.

Never be ashamed to give glory to the One that heals. If God did it, then say so. People are so quick to discount spiritual healing because they have not experienced it, or just do not know God. How wil they learn the Truth if it is not spoken? I hope you continue to have the strength and courage to give credit to your Healer.
Thank you so much!! I did speak and it was very hard. I have some visible scars and that seemed to be the topic, will I have plastic surgery, um no cant afford it? I wasnt ready for that, I know the scars are visible just didnt relize how visible. Im not planning on speaking again for a little while, it was exausting and I came home and crawled in bed for the day. So not like me!!! But thanks so much for your words!!!
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Old 10-25-2010, 01:31 PM
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Thank you so much!! I did speak and it was very hard. I have some visible scars and that seemed to be the topic, will I have plastic surgery, um no cant afford it? I wasnt ready for that, I know the scars are visible just didnt relize how visible. Im not planning on speaking again for a little while, it was exausting and I came home and crawled in bed for the day. So not like me!!! But thanks so much for your words!!!
I just wanted to say congratulations, well done, and kudos to your strength in speaking Lisa, amazing fortitude and I'm positive you'll have helped more than one person in doing so.... Not surprised you were exhausted but you gave the gift of your experience and supreme survival which is priceless - hope you keep healing and getting stronger, all best wishes to you
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Old 10-25-2010, 06:25 PM
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Good for you, Lisa! hard as it was, I'm glad you could feel strong enough to do it


Isn't there a victim's fund of some sort to help with costs of recovery, including medical bills?
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Old 10-25-2010, 07:15 PM
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YES!! and they have been a godsend, have paid all my medical bills. And some extra. Anytime I need to go to a therapist its free! But havent asked about plastic surgery. Not sure if thats included. My scars was the last thing we would talk about ......... it threw me off.
I want to be a survivor not the girl with scars!!!!
Lisa


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Good for you, Lisa! hard as it was, I'm glad you could feel strong enough to do it


Isn't there a victim's fund of some sort to help with costs of recovery, including medical bills?
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Old 10-25-2010, 07:22 PM
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Ask if they would cover the plastic surgery. People can't help but wonder about disfigurement, and it's hard to redefine yourself as long as the scars are there. Old friends will stop seeing them pretty soon, but new people will always wonder about them.
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