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Met While Incarcerated Were you introduced by a friend or family member after he/she was incarcerated? Did you meet as Pen Pals? This Forum is for you!

View Poll Results: What did he expect from you?
Just friends 36 20.45%
Serious relationship 67 38.07%
Didn't know 32 18.18%
Was up to you 26 14.77%
Just a pen pal 15 8.52%
Voters: 176. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 01-15-2011, 11:26 PM
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delapenakl delapenakl is offline
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Smile What does your MWI expect from you?

When you first met your MWI, did you ever expect he was going to be your husband/boyfriend?? I know, I sure didn't. I thought we were going to be just friends and that was it. I never thought anyone like him would ever want to be with anyone like me, no offense at all towards him. I'm just....not his type, I thought. He never expected anything from this either. In fact, once he knew he was going to prison, he thought I'd leave him just like that. He never thought I would ever want to stick by him as long as I have much less forever...

I just was thinking about that. What did your MWI expect throughout the relationship?
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Old 01-15-2011, 11:44 PM
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At first me and my MWI were just supposed to be friends. We started out just talking and getting to know each other, but it was obvious very soon that we just clicked and that things just worked. It was like there was no choice. We knew things would be very difficult, but we just couldn't deny how we felt. Though we are not officially together, there is no one else for me and no one else for him and as soon as he gets out we are making plans to meet and then things will most likely get very serious very fast. No guy's touch ever compared to how I felt when I got a letter from him. That's when I knew this was going to be different from anything I'd ever known. I'm so happy for everything we've been through thus far and I can't wait to see where it goes. (:
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Old 01-16-2011, 06:28 AM
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im with the poster above, a letter or a call from him works magic in a way no one has ever been able to. we have built a pretty solid foundation through our letters,
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Old 01-16-2011, 07:40 AM
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When I first met him, I NEVER thought I would be in a relationship with him. When I realized I had feelings for him and we talked it out, we both knew it'd be a serious relationship. So that was the expectation.
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Old 01-16-2011, 09:45 AM
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So Very Soon!!!

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When I met my husband while we were both in County I thought we were just passing time. I got released. Went back home and blew him off. One letter after 3 mth and I knew there was something to this. 6 years later and we are celebrating our 4th wedding anniversary and his homecoming this year!! Who would have thunk it??
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Old 01-16-2011, 11:16 AM
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When i first met my b/f i didn't want a relationship at all. To be honest i was alittle mean to him, but he kept writing me and almost a year later i have fallen in love with him. Now i can't see myself without him
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Old 01-17-2011, 03:04 PM
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We were just supposed to be friends he knew I was in a relationship at the time and He says he knew I was going to be his from our first conversation….. even after me fighting my feelings for so long……. Lol Once I was done fighting my feelings we had a long told….. and decided that a SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP is what we both wanted
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Old 01-17-2011, 06:22 PM
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I was not looking for a relationship when I met my Sweetie. I was just getting over the fact that my husband was cheating and a man was the last thing I wanted. As time and conversations went on, I realized that there are still a few good men out there. After 9 months I can't see my life without him.....
It's amazing being loved unconditionally.......

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Old 01-17-2011, 06:41 PM
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We started out as friends cause at the time i had a BF but that didnt stop him he stayed consistent even when i wasnt when i finally gave him a chance we have be inseparable i dont know what i would do with out him honestly

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Old 01-17-2011, 06:43 PM
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Well I actually knew him but I wasn't aware I knew him when he wrote me. Our mothers knew each other and I met him as a lil girl. I was writing my sorors bozo brother and had stopped and a year later I get a letter and I thought oh great the bozo is back! Nope it was ole man asking me if I had a muslim friend for him I said no the next letter he thanked me and told me about himself and saying if I found someone let him know I wrote yes I have someone ME. I knew we would be more than friends and he did as well we don't believe in casual dating we play for keeps.
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Old 01-17-2011, 07:57 PM
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I thought he was great from the get-go. We knew each other a little before prison and we always had a flirtacious vibe. At first he would make comments like when I get out of here can I take you to dinner sometime. I honestly thought maybe when he got out we would see what happens. I never thought it would go farther because of location and I thought you had to almost be a lunatic to marry a guy *in* prison (call me a lunatic, lol). My husband said he never thought he had a chance in hell with me but as long as I kept writing back he said he decided he would keep trying to reel me in and obviously it worked!
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Old 01-18-2011, 12:14 AM
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Neither of us had any expectations. We were just writing, and e-mailing. Then it was as if it was totally out of our control. He called, and the rest is history I just got my last e-mail of the day from him telling me that he would be telling them(his two friends) about "our" day. I am so thankful to and for him. It is just us now, and that is what we both want. Never in a million years would I have thought these feelings could exist under these circumstances...these are some big, big, big feelings. We used all his phone minutes up yesterday. It is two weeks until they re-validate. I miss the man like crazy!! What a great ride it has been. So far so good!

Last edited by LHP; 01-18-2011 at 12:18 AM..
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Old 01-20-2011, 11:00 AM
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He tells me from the first day he met me that he was going to make me love him. He sure did. he knew I was so freaked out by him. First time I met him, he was holding (or trying) my hand. First visit alone he asked me for a kiss I said nope. About 4 visits later he asked again. I said yes. Now we are in it to win it.
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Old 01-20-2011, 03:45 PM
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Not much longer! That reunion will be priceless. Hold tight.
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Old 01-28-2011, 03:22 PM
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Crazy about him

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Nope! We started off as friends and now we're happily engaged and crazy in love!!

Engaged to the most amazing man in the planet 11/20/10!

Married 5/30/2011
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Old 01-29-2011, 07:29 AM
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Good thread, when we 1st met I never thought I would be married to him today but here we are married & in love. I had built up such a wall around myself that I couldnt see me ever trusting another man and then here comes Scott, so we decided we would just be friends and exchange a few calls & some letters you know just getting to know one another. Well after a few calls and some letters I could feel my emotions kicking in and he became more agressive with the calls, went from calling from once or twice a week to every day and then the mailman was getting a run for his money too. In November of 2010 he proposed and we were married 12/2010. No regrets at all. He worked so hard to prove he was different from any man I had ever been with in my whole life and he proved that then, yea we have had our share of issues but hes my husband & I love him so again I have NO regrets at all.
Failure is never an option!

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Old 01-29-2011, 09:21 PM
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miss myliss (:

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well i THOUGHT we were just supposed to be friends. when we met i was still technically with my ex, but things certainly were rocky - like our whole relationship, ha. but as letters progressed, and visits began, it definitely moved from friends to more. he told me though that he had intentions of a relationship the whole time..sneaky sneaky.
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; Proverbs 3:5
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Old 02-17-2011, 12:17 PM
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I first wrote my guy to be a pen pal, someone to just brighten his day with a letter. Before I knew it we had our first phone call. We laughed and talked like we had known each other all our lives. He called 3 times a day for a week and by the end of the week, the "L" word just came out from both of us at the same time. Now he's my everything.
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Old 02-17-2011, 01:27 PM
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Default Mwi expectation

He expected us to have a very good friendship and we do.


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Old 02-17-2011, 02:40 PM
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started out as just a pen pal friendship that developed into more
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Old 02-18-2011, 11:03 AM
aprild1967 aprild1967 is offline
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No, I didn't have any expectations and did not even look for a friendship or anything else. He came into the store where I worked and I thought oh my, how good looking. But we progressed into a friendship, talked every single day and so I will admit to having perhaps a litle bit of prejudice against the Inmates that came in my store daily. Thought the worst of them, now I see they are just like everyone else. James opened up my eyes and then I looked forward to the vans coming to the store. Just so I could see him and talk to him. I almost forgot another inmate one day told me James was gay, so I was like dammit, but oh well he is sweet and someone I could talk to. We progressed for months, just talking every single day. Then one day I was down and quite depressed about an ex-boyfriend who was cheating on me. And, I told him about it. And, he said if I was lucky enough to be your man, and I wish I was your man, you'd know what real love is all about and I would remain forever faithful to you! I looked at James, and it seemed like the whole world disappeared, it was just the two of us, and he had ahold of my hand, it was truly quite magical. The next day he passed me a note, giving me his information, asking me to write him...and it's been on since then! I ramble I know, sorry everyone!

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Old 02-23-2011, 08:51 PM
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Well as for us we started out as friends and nothing more I told him that I was not looking for a relationship but then things began to fall in to place and by the end of that first month we had said I love you to each other. Wow I would have never thought that would of happened but we are so in love and no I cant see myself with out him.
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Old 02-24-2011, 08:01 AM
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I wasnt after a relationship i wasnt even sure i wanted a "penpal" but he kept writing me and sending me lil cards and stuff when i never got back he was just too sweet to ignore but i still figured it was friendship nothing more but he started saying lil things here and there until he was full out asking me to consider more i would just ignore him and talk about other things thinking yeah right here's a guy after some cash but it wasnt like that at all infact he wont take a penny from me.. and in realising here was me who was meant to be here for this guy to help him through and its him who is there for me in more ways then i cared to realise i realised i was falling for him badly but wouldnt tell him until we had an arguement and fell out fr afew weeks, and i felt like my world had fallen apart i was devastated he left it a couple of weeks then sent me a letter telling me he loved me and missed me which made me cry... i love him to bits he is a diamond he likes me for me he never seen a picture of me till we'd been talking for 7/8 months and he hasn't judged a single aspect of my life which aint been so great i was quite seriusly ill when i found him and he know everything and still hasnt thought "nah fuck that..next..!!" nobody else will take his place in my heart really cheesey i know but he make me happy xx
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Old 02-26-2011, 09:40 AM
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Onto the next hurdle

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It's kind of funny, I'm the one who wanted a serious relationship. I'm 9 years older, already been married and divorced, and I met him when I was working there. I didn't set out to find someone or was looking for anyone but I wasn't about to waste my time either on something that was going nowhere. He's the one who initially said he didn't want that but decided soon after that he'd rather have me for a girlfriend than just a friend. If he'd wanted to get out and date around, that's cool, I mean, I would have stuck by him as a friend and all, but I don't have the time or desire for games and I wasn't about to be one of many girls. I was like "go get that out of your system" and then we'll talk. I've never been a "date around" kind of girl.

So I kind of lay down the law for him. But we're crazy about each other so it's all good. :-)

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Old 03-13-2011, 08:37 AM
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I am new to this site, just registered today. It is so nice to see that others are going through and feeling the same things I am. I met my guy under tragic circumstances. A life long friend of mine died in prison this past December. He found out last summer that he was stage 3 melanoma, his decline was very fast. After he died, my heart went out to his cellie of three years...i knew they were very close. So I contacted him to let him know that he was not forgotten and that he was being thought of out here. He replied and it went from there. We write and email everyday, he calls and I have been to visit him (his first visit ever because he is from another state!). Our bond is very strong and I am so very happy! I never ever though I would be in this kind of situation but here I am. Friends and family do not get it...but they don't have to, I get it! It's going to be a hard road, he still has 8 years but I am planning to hang in there with him! Never in my life have I felt this way and so glad to find others that will understand!
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