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GPT Phones, Mail, and Visitation Discussions Please post topics or discussions here that do not fit in the appropriate state or federal forums.

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  #1  
Old 09-16-2010, 11:37 AM
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Unhappy Excited and Scared/Finally approved for visits!

So my honey's mom just called me to tell me to tell me my visitation application as been approved (FINALLY!) So now I'm kinda like... woah, I'm really going to be able to see him soon. I'm just having mixed emotions. We haven't actually seen each other since high school. What if he's disappointed? What if I'm disappointed? What if I'm not everything he fell in love with over the phone and through letters? On top of all that... I've never been in a prison before. I'm scared. What should I expect? His mom told me I was welcome to go with her for my first time. Maybe that's a good idea? UGH! So many questions!
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Old 09-16-2010, 11:51 AM
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First of all, take a deep breath and relax. Prison isn't fun, but the visitation is usually laid back. Make sure to follow all the rules and watch out for metal. Don't wear a wired bra; it will set off the metal detector. I don't know how OH is compared to PA, but we are allowed to hold hands, kiss in the beginning and end, and he can give me a hug in the beginning and end. It is just nice to feel their touch even if only for a minute. Take money for the vending machines ($1 and $5 only); we are allowed to take up to $30. I know we are allowed to take pictures together for like $2 or $3. The CO's are usually nice as long as you don't cause problems. Where my husband is, we are even allowed to play games at tables. You will enjoy the visit; I know it is scary the first time, but just breath and go with the flow.

Don't worry about how he feels about your appearance and his appearance. You will just be excited to see him, believe me. I never dressed up for my husband, partly because I was pregnant. He was just happy to see me. I hope you guys have a great visit and enjoy each other's company. I am sure it will be fine. Make sure to come back and update us on the visit.
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Old 09-16-2010, 12:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MeganL View Post
So my honey's mom just called me to tell me to tell me my visitation application as been approved (FINALLY!) So now I'm kinda like... woah, I'm really going to be able to see him soon. I'm just having mixed emotions. We haven't actually seen each other since high school. What if he's disappointed? What if I'm disappointed? What if I'm not everything he fell in love with over the phone and through letters? On top of all that... I've never been in a prison before. I'm scared. What should I expect? His mom told me I was welcome to go with her for my first time. Maybe that's a good idea? UGH! So many questions!

well to me, if hes all that hes sayin he is, and wants to be with you, then he aint gonna care how you look, he fell in love with who you are hun, not how you look, you wouldnt want a relationship based on that anyways, as far as you being dissapointed, you love him right? enough that you wanna wait for him to come home to you...Prison isnt anything nice, but it will be nice knowing you made someones day, and after, you'll proba be like " omg what was i so worried for i cant wait to go back!!" take a couple breaths girl, everything will work out how its supposed to. good luck!!
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Old 09-16-2010, 12:11 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MeganL View Post
So my honey's mom just called me to tell me to tell me my visitation application as been approved (FINALLY!) So now I'm kinda like... woah, I'm really going to be able to see him soon. I'm just having mixed emotions. We haven't actually seen each other since high school. What if he's disappointed? What if I'm disappointed? What if I'm not everything he fell in love with over the phone and through letters? On top of all that... I've never been in a prison before. I'm scared. What should I expect? His mom told me I was welcome to go with her for my first time. Maybe that's a good idea? UGH! So many questions!
Have you pulled up his mugshot to see what he REALLY looks like? Color pictures can be found here. Tell us his name so we can look too, LOL.
http://www.drc.ohio.gov/OffenderSearch/Search.aspx
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Old 09-16-2010, 12:23 PM
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I can really relate to you. You will be just fine. Just try to relax. When you actually get to the visit the only thing on either of your minds will be each other. Relax, take it all in, and have a wonderlly amazing visit together!
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Old 09-16-2010, 12:33 PM
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If he loves you then he will love you no matter what! To me (my opinion) people look the same, yes time changes and things we have gone though in our live changes some features but if he thought you was beautiful in High School he will think the look is more refine, cause now you have aged and your tone is different! Relax! Oh in my opinion.. I would like to visit without his family the first time cause you contact visit you will get to kiss him and this could very well be your "First Last Kiss" meaning you won't be kissing anyone else but him! Have FUN, Yeah for you!
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Old 09-16-2010, 12:39 PM
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Well I can totally understand you being nervous, so normal!!! Everyone has these fears even if you've seen them in the last year!!! I was so afraid to visit the prison I thought I'd throw up from nerves!!! Go with his Mom I think thats a great way to start visiting him. I go with mines mom as often as I can!!!
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Old 09-16-2010, 12:45 PM
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Let me tell you the first contact visit (minus our kids) we were both fumbling mess for the first 10 minutes. It was the first time it was one on one time in well over a year. We have been together for 4 years. Nerves are normal and keeps us on our toes.

You will be fine. I think anyone going to visit anyone for the first time in prison is going to be nervous. You are going to come on here the day after and tell us how wonderful it was
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Old 09-16-2010, 12:55 PM
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When I went for my first visit my very good friend told me "remmeber that feeling and what you were thinking the first time you saw him walk through that door into visit" at the time I was like WTH? but now I understand and I think back to that moment often. You will be fine!! Enjoy
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Old 09-16-2010, 12:59 PM
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hey girl i can totaly relate -- i hadn't seen my baby since i was 19 or so (was 16yrs since we had seen one another lol) and long story short -- i was sooooooo flippin nervous about all sorts of things that turn out to be silly things to be nervous bout lol he too was so nervous -- he was picking at his fingers i was a wreck and we had a wonderful visit and the time flew by too fast -- i see my baby every weekend an have been at least getting to see him once a week since that first visit july 17, 2010 and i still get nervous lol --- i don't dress up he asks me to though here and there so i do lol but wear no metal -- this way you dont have to deal w/goin thru that metal detector several times (this will take away some of the nervousness) My baby is in the federal system i had never been to a prison to visit anyone till that first day and it was all ok -- i was nervous from the whole thing but mostly cuz of seein him for the first time in 16yrs! we already knew we were going to be together and that that's what we wanted to do by the time i was able to go see him the first time! I worried bout EVERYTHING and then was laughin later and so did he -- so remember while your nervous bout all of this -- so i your guy! lol -- so ty to remind yourself of that! he might never tell you he's nervous or he might be like my baby and tell you he's nervous too!
see me i say go w/out his mom at least the first time so you can have the visit all to yourselves -- there's always other visits you could go with her --- enjoy your visit and have fun be sure to let us know when your goin / when ya come back!!! pm me anytime if you just need to let out some fear's cuz i knw it's nerve wracking -- like i said i get nervous and anxious still every week lol -- most nite before i cant hardly sleep infact i didnt sleep the nite before the first visit at all! lol -- i still can't fall asleep thursday nites! ----but that's mainly cuz i'm more anxious then nervous nowbut i still get nervous lol(he does too sometimes) he desn't say so but i can tell lol
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  #11  
Old 09-16-2010, 01:59 PM
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First of all, YAY!!! and congratulations on getting approved. Going for the first time is nerve wrecking, but I'd suggest you read up on the visitation procedures that way you know what to expect or his mom can tell you what to expect and how it will be when you get there, check in, metal detectors, etc. The automatic doors, barbwire, watch towers, all that stuff is somewhat intimidating, but it's just what is is...prison. I know you can't help but to be nervous BUT once he comes out, your face is going to hurt from that smile that is going to spread across your face that will stay on there through the whole visit!! Don't worry about anyone else around you, they are all there to enjoy their loved ones and during those hours...each table, each window is it's own little world! Before you know it, time will be up and it's going to feel like it just flew by. I'd personally prefer to go by myself, but it's really up to you. If you think you would feel more comfortable with someone there the first time, let his mom go with you. ENJOY your first visit...just wait and see, it is going to be awesome! Looking foward to hearing about it.
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Old 09-17-2010, 01:52 PM
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Thanks everyone so much for all your kind words!! I really needed to hear it. I scheduled my visit!! Oct. 15th! So it's back to waiting again. I'm going by myself. I'm so nervous. I'm not really concerned about my looks.. although I'm no where near the size 4 I was in high school.. I'm more scared that he wont like me. It sounds silly. I just have so many emotions right now. I know i just need to relax and chill out.... It will take me all month to decide what I'm going to wear!!
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Old 09-17-2010, 01:54 PM
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So excited for you! You have to come back and tell us how great it was!
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Old 09-23-2010, 08:41 PM
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Im still waiting on my visitian form to be approved and im so scared! i havent seen him in 8yrs.
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Old 09-24-2010, 12:15 PM
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Im still waiting on my visitian form to be approved and im so scared! i havent seen him in 8yrs.
I haven't seen mine in about 10! Yeah it's so nerve-wracking! Good luck! I hope it is approved soon!
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Old 10-14-2010, 09:19 AM
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Tomorrow is the big day!!! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!
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Old 10-15-2010, 06:33 PM
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Had the best first visit EVER! He came walking out with paper flowers, a handmade card and a painting he painted for Sweetest Day. He just grabbed me and hugged me and wouldn't let go. He just stared at me the whole time. We shared an awesome first kiss! I'm all smiles! I'm so happy and excited. He told me I still walk the same way I did in high school... "swingin my hips and shakin my ass" LOL! It was soooo hard to leave. I couldn't look at him when I left. But it was so worth the trip! I love you Adam!!!! <3 <3 <3
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