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Now That Your Loved One Is Home... Please share stories about your loved one now they are home.

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  #151  
Old 08-20-2012, 09:13 PM
KStewart78 KStewart78 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ASH8669 View Post
Very good topic. Things are great don't get me wrong, but sometimes I just need a little space. I explained this to him, and he's gotten alot better about it. I don't ask for alot of space, but...can I take a bath in privacy and soak my day away sometimes? He is always wanting to be with me. For that I am grateful for, cause he sure isn't out doing anything else but being with me, but maybe its just me. I gotta have some space..sometimes just an hour even less to myself..especially during PMS week. He is so understanding about everything I explain to him.

Also...he sometimes doesnt' know when to quit aggrivating me. He is very intertaining and loves to aggrivate me..tickleing..joking...cutting up. I love it..I really do, but in some public places he just doesn't get that we can do that at home...so..i had to explain it to him. Of course he's understanding. I guess I just feel like I shouldn't have to explain somethings to him. He should already know. But...he was 17 when he went in..now he's almost 26. Long time...he's doing good though. The good definatly outweighs the bad. Its just frustrating sometimes. Hopefully Im not alone in this!! ((hugs))
How long has he been home now? Are you guys still together?
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  #152  
Old 06-03-2013, 01:35 AM
Unique Flower Unique Flower is offline
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Hi, My Baby finally got paroled in March. I met him Nov.2010, he was in the Half-Way House at the time. I had gotten out of 8yr. relationship 9 months prior, not even considering to get involved. But this guy was very persistent for 2 months before I went out to dinner with him. Well he got in trouble was sent back for 9 months, went back to the Half-Way house again. Two weeks left to get out got in trouble again, got sent back. I stood by him, ofcourse I am in Love with him. Everything he wrote in his letters or told me over the phone, seem to have been just talk. He moved in with me, he went to work right away. Once the money started coming in for him, what a change. The last two weeks have been so stressful, he seems to have total hate/anger for me. He has helped me with 120.00 since he got out, his last check for two weeks was close to a thousand. Well he moved out yesterday, I just couldn't take the disrespect any more, I am so sad that this happened. I am glad that I kept my word to God and My Baby that I would stick by him and help him to get his freedom. The Best to all You Wonderful Ladies
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  #153  
Old 08-25-2014, 08:48 PM
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This is a very good subject as I am dealing with it now, I am actually starting to wonder if he really even wants me around. This is so different than any relationship I have ever had and I am not sure how to deal with it. He never makes time for me, he is always on his game
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  #154  
Old 08-25-2014, 08:59 PM
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He never takes time for me or to really be a couple
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  #155  
Old 11-03-2015, 12:55 PM
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Default He's Home.....Now What? I Got Nothing

I was looking for answers to this question when I came across your question. I am confused. Our loved one is getting out. He is a sex offender. I am the truth teller, the rest of the family are the enablers. They try and sugar coat everything and I keep it 100 on the first floor when I talk with him.
Truth be told, the person is not very receptive about listening. Already intending on hanging with the same crowd of people, doing the same things that got him locked up in the first place and refusing to register as a Sex Offender all the while pretending that he has a normal life when nothing is farther from the truth. This is the 3rd time he has been locked up for not registering and to be honest, this is damn stupid....but then again...what the hell do I know. I am asking for answers for my family of enablers cause I got nothing.........no emotion, no feelings on the subject....just nothing because he keeps doing this over and over.
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  #156  
Old 02-09-2018, 10:04 PM
preciousjewel preciousjewel is offline
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Thank you for this thread. I posted something similar in another forum asking what to do. I love love love this thread. I am just preparing my mind to my ex-husband/soon to be husband again's return/release. He has already said he wants to remain by my side all of the time. I told him that it is okay that we are not. I miss my baby. He is my heart. I am just trying to prepare my mind on being back in a marriage after being single for a bit and then prepping for my baby's release to assist him in his transition. I am scared out of my mind! lol.
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  #157  
Old 03-08-2019, 02:26 AM
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My mate got out on Parole this past Monday, but he is not allowed on this side of town, so cannot even come home for a visit. I am finding it so very hard.
He is set up in a flat across town, so we have spent most every day this week getting that sorted. But I just feel watched all the time - like we were at visits. I can't relax, I don't get whats up with me. He is being very patient and lovely... and I just feel stink. I am so scared we will make a mistake and he will get recalled... that they will take him away from me again. I am holding back from being totally with him... When he was away, Corrections would just move him and I wouldn't hear from him for days without knowing why. Now he has conditions that we don't understand why they were imposed and even the Parole Officer says they don't seem logical. It feels like we are being set up to fail, feels like they will just take him away again.

Everything I am reading is about helping him to adjust... and the support group that is there for him - is just that - for him (which is fine and good) ... but there seems to be no one I can talk to.

We have been advised to keep his release very quiet, so we have not told our family or friends as yet.. so I can't even talk to them (not that they would understand anyway)

I don't know whats wrong with me, except that I am scared this will be ripped away.

He was away for over 15 years, I lost count. I have become used to fending for myself and pretty much being at home all the time. Now he wants me to be over at his flat (which I totally understand) but I can't sit and do nothing there. If he was here, I could get on and do stuff around the house and still be with him. I used to be strong, but I have no strength left.

Thank you for letting me post here, it helps to just get it out.
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  #158  
Old 03-08-2019, 06:55 AM
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I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time. You aren't wrong to think he may be expected to fail by the parole system, but he can reduce the chances of being sent back to prison by honoring all of his conditions, no matter how ridiculous they are. I know nothing about NZ, but in the US parole conditions can change for the better over time, once the PO has decided that he is being completely compliant with the rules, especially the ones that make no sense. I hope your situation improves.
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  #159  
Old 03-08-2019, 02:06 PM
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Thank you for your support, it means a lot. He will comply with all the conditions, but we already found that we didn't quite interpret one of them the way the PO did. Lucky we asked a lot of questions and found that out before we made a mistake.
I know in my head that time will pass and it will get better. After all I have managed to get through the last 15 years, lol.
Just think this should be a happy time for us and I am feeling quite down.
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  #160  
Old 03-08-2019, 05:47 PM
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I totally understand. I had a much more difficult time understanding any legitimate reason for many of the probation restrictions than I did those while I was in prison.

I still feel strongly that my "prison sentence" was misleading, because it was followed by an oppressive supervised release/probation sentence (in federal cases you must first serve the entire prison sentence and then go immediately into "supervised release" for from years, to lifetime). One poor guy served his 38 month prison sentence in full, started in on his 3 years of SR, missed an appointment with his PO, and was sent back to federal prison for 60 months (nearly two years more than his original prison time) for violating the terms of his supervised release. The courts see this as legitimate while I consider it to be cruel and unusual punishment.
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  #161  
Old 03-08-2019, 06:11 PM
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My word, that does seem very harsh.
My mate can be recalled to serve out the rest of his sentence, and in any case will have 6 months probation after the EOS date. So in comparison, its not so bad.
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  #162  
Old 03-11-2019, 07:46 AM
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Parole is/was a beast for me. Even worse than the prison time, actually.
I also didnt understand some of the restrictions.


Its good you clarified any condition you had a question about. We would go over and over them and find things in them that we were like? What?

We were not looking for any *loop holes* to get around anything but just trying to make sure it was all clear.
(things got complicated due to the many parole agents he was assigned because each of them would interpret a condition just a bit differently)
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