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View Poll Results: Should I attend my sister's wedding or not?
Yes 29 87.88%
No 4 12.12%
Voters: 33. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 05-10-2017, 01:20 PM
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Unhappy I Feel So Hurt! Sister getting Married (I wasn't Asked to be Maid of Honor)

So this is my Story..... .Any Comments and/or Suggestions are Greatly Appreciated!
I am the oldest of 3 girls. The middle sister is the one getting married. Our younger sister, unexpectdly passed away 18mos ago in a car accident. My grandma raised all three of us. Our parents were in and out of prison our whole lives, dealing with their heroin addiction. So we had it pretty rough. Being the oldest, I had to take care of my sister's cuz my grandma was always working. I had to see alot of bad things growing up. And at 6 or 7 years old I tried my best to keep my sister's away from seeing it. So to this day they have no idea. As we got older, my sister (middle one) and i went on to live our own lives, and start our own families. So we kinda drifted apart for some time. Dealing with problems of our own... Over the years, I turned to drugs which also resulted in CPS involvement. Ive been clean for almost 2 years now, got my kids back, and I'm living a normal life now. My sister on the other hand has lived the most perfect life! She barely even drinks. Well she is getting married this Saturday. I barely found out about 2 mos ago by my aunt that she's been planning her wedding for the last year! So when my mom told me my sister was planning on going shopping for her wedding dress, I text her and told her I would like to go with her. And her reply back was.... The car was already full there was no room for me. It was her best friend (which is her maid of honor), her mother-in-law and her sister-in-law that were going with her!! That Hurt!! Its like, Really!? I'm ur only sister! Wow! So I am very very hurt by all this. I was already debating weather or not to even go? FYI The wedding is 6hrs away from where we all currently live! Which means I need to rent a car, reserve a hotel room, and I haven't even bought me or my 2 children- 2yrs and 11yrs old our clothes yet either! My mom tells me not to even worry about it. She said don't even go if it's too much for you. So idk what to do!
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Old 05-10-2017, 01:37 PM
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Lots of people have their best friend as their maid of honor so it's really not unusual. I don't know anything about your family dynamics but people only get married once (hopefully) so seeing you are an adult suck it up and go. If she would have asked you to be her maid of honor would the expenses even be an issue? You sound a little jealous of your sister. Couldn't you have met her at the shop? Since .I don't know everything about your relationship it's hard to say one way or another. Only you can decide that.
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Old 05-10-2017, 02:10 PM
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Weddings can become a hotbed of family politics and feelings can be hurt. However at the end of the day its your sisters special day. Let her have it her way and go along and celebrate with her.
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Old 05-10-2017, 02:18 PM
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If I were to have a formal wedding my sister wouldn't be my maid of honor. It's really common for them to have their good friends instead, it's her wedding, she shouldn't be obligated to have anyone in her wedding party. Of course you should attend her wedding if you can afford it.
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Old 05-10-2017, 04:53 PM
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You both have to live with your decisions-- her decisions regarding her wedding and yours whether you attend. You have zero control over hers, you have total control over yours. Go the direction the leaves your heart at peace when all is said and done.
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Old 05-10-2017, 06:24 PM
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Curious, has she told you herself that she is getting married?
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Old 05-11-2017, 06:29 AM
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I can understand why you are hurt.
I think I would be as well.
I think that if I didnt get an invite like all the other guests, I would not attend.
(and even if I did, Im not sure I would go)
I might send a gift and a card, but dang. That is harsh to not even say anything to you!
Are you guys or rather were you guys close?
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Old 05-11-2017, 06:30 AM
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It doesn't sound like you are all that close. I'm not sure why you would automatically expect to be the maid of honor.

Go to your sister's wedding, FFS, and don't start any drama while you're there. This thing isn't about you.
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Old 05-11-2017, 06:42 AM
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I'm curious if you've received a formal invite? If yes, then go.
Even though I understand your feelings and get that you are hurt, she's your sister after all.
If she didn't even invite you formally then don't go. Then she does not want you there obviously - for whatever reason. That is hurtful but as others said before me, I don't know your family dynamics.
Follow your heart but take your brain with you...
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Old 05-11-2017, 07:49 AM
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Hi. TALK TO YOUR SISTER. Maybe she has an old issue she never talked about. This is one of those once-in-a-lifetime events with family. Family is forever.
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Old 05-11-2017, 08:36 AM
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If you're not invited DON'T GO. If you are invited you have a choice to make and that choice is yours to make and yours only.

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Old 05-11-2017, 11:46 AM
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I feel with you. Two years ago at my sisters wedding some things happend an I will never forget. She is 15 y younger than me. But it was her choice and I know now how to act in future. In a friendly way with no drama of corse.

Are you invited?

Greets Manu
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