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Raising Children with Parents in Prison For the Parent left behind with children AND for the Children that have a parent inside. Discussion of unique challenges facing this group!

View Poll Results: Was ur babys daddy locked up when his baby was born?
yes 141 76.22%
no 25 13.51%
shortly after the birth 19 10.27%
Voters: 185. You may not vote on this poll

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  #76  
Old 04-14-2010, 10:58 AM
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Default To the ladies who are expecting...

If you haven't already, tell your OBGYN what you are going through. Mine were really supportive and I was able to get counseling as well as establishing a good relationship with the RN's and Docs themselves. They watched me afterward with post-partem depression, which I did have and had to take medication for. Of course, I didn't have very supportive family to help me out. So if your family and friends are there for you that is awesome too. Blessings to you and your new babies! Take lots of pictures!
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  #77  
Old 04-15-2010, 12:51 AM
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we had our son in feb of 09 he went to jail july of 09. they kept him in town until the begining of march of 10 just a couple weeks before our daughter was born.they moved him 3 times so it was 3 weeks before he got my letter tellin him. he was so worried he got the chaplin to help he call me.
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  #78  
Old 04-15-2010, 01:00 PM
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My 1st daughters father went in when I was 1 month pregnant..... It was hard to go threw because I had to have a c-section and I had always dreamed things would be diffrent..... With my 2nd daughter.... Her father was with me.... It was nice... Now we have another one on the way and he is in now.... It was nice to at least experiance it once but now I want him here more than ever its really tough with this one!
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  #79  
Old 04-16-2010, 11:15 AM
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My man went in last month when i was 4 mths pregnant and he will not be home in time for our son to be born. If he gets boot camp then he will be home either right on time or shortly after.
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  #80  
Old 04-16-2010, 11:22 AM
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shoulda been...
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  #81  
Old 05-04-2010, 07:07 PM
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He turned his self in on Sep. 10,2007, and our daughter was born almost 4 weeks later. On Oct.13,2007.
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  #82  
Old 05-07-2010, 04:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by special_24 View Post
Was just curious as to how many women have had to go through childbirth without their baby daddys? I did and it was and very stressful. I am sure that there are more than just me to share this experience . What did he think or how did he feel?
yes he was locked up but what made it harder was he was out for our son but locked up for our daughter. it wasnt that stressfull for me but it was kind of hard to be stressed out when she was born in just a couple hours after starting labor.
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  #83  
Old 05-09-2010, 07:56 PM
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I was 6 months pregnant when my husband went to jail he missed the birth of his first son. I called the jail and told them his baby had some health problems and they said they'd see what they could do since the hospital didn't get reception. They took him into booking and let him use the free phones for an hour. Our son is 6 months old now and he has only seen him through glass. He won't be home for 11 months. I show my son pics of his daddy hoping he will recognize him when they meet face to face finally!!! It was very hard doing all this without him and I'm kinda resentful...is that normal????
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  #84  
Old 05-18-2010, 08:16 PM
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I was 3 months pregnant when my man went to jail. He was arrested February 3rd, 2009. My daughter is now 9 months old and he's still in prison. He was in the county jail when I had her and the visiting rooms there she wasn't allowed. After he was sentenced and went to prison I finally got to take her to meet her daddy. She was 5 months old at the time. We try to visit him a few times a month. He probably won't be home until she's at least 3.
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  #85  
Old 05-25-2010, 02:18 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by special_24 View Post
Was just curious as to how many women have had to go through childbirth without their baby daddys? I did and it was and very stressful. I am sure that there are more than just me to share this experience . What did he think or how did he feel?
He was arrested April 28 1999 for two year and our daughter was born
May 13 1999. 10 years later he finally met her and exactly on 4/29/2010 he was arrested again.
God only knows if will ever see him again.
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  #86  
Old 05-25-2010, 02:22 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by webbswife0121 View Post
I was 6 months pregnant when my husband went to jail he missed the birth of his first son. I called the jail and told them his baby had some health problems and they said they'd see what they could do since the hospital didn't get reception. They took him into booking and let him use the free phones for an hour. Our son is 6 months old now and he has only seen him through glass. He won't be home for 11 months. I show my son pics of his daddy hoping he will recognize him when they meet face to face finally!!! It was very hard doing all this without him and I'm kinda resentful...is that normal????
I believe is normal to feel resentful,cuz you expected him to be there.
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  #87  
Old 05-26-2010, 05:12 AM
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My husband turned hisself in twice, May 20th, 2009, but they did not have him in the system for a warrant so he turned hisself in again on july 1st, 2009, I had our son Nov. 29,2009. I was 5 months pregnant. My son is now six months old and daddy is still gone. I know I have resentment issues that I have surpressed, I just hope they don't come rushing out when he comes home. It has been hard, and we have lost a lot, time, money, lifestyle, etc....
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  #88  
Old 07-20-2010, 05:34 PM
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I had to go through it last month...and it was very hard for me to deal with. My son was born on june 16th 2010. my husband has been in prison since january 21st, when i was 19 weeks pregnant. He missed what was suppose to be the greatest moment of his life and he will never forgive himself for that. I have to stay strong for my family. it was hard but i got through it.
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  #89  
Old 01-05-2011, 04:18 AM
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Default My daughter's daddy was locked up when she was born

My fiance got locked up 4 days after him and I found out we were having a baby. It killed me every time I went to an appointment and seen so many couples in the women center waiting for their appointments an ultrasounds. Not in the "hating" way just the fact that he wasn't there with me hurt me so bad I have never felt that bad in my life til then. I went through so many emotions about him being locked up during pregnancy such as hurt for him not being there while our baby grew then mad cause he let that happen to him then depressed cause I was facing raising a child on my own, something that NEVER crossed my mind til it actually happened. I know that pregnancy is supposed to be a happy moment in your life and there was a lot of times I was just so happy that I was about to have my own child but the circumstances with her father brought me down alot cause I wanted her to have both of us and I wanted him to feel the same feelings I felt everytime I heard her heartbeat, felt her kick or just simple hiccups she had inside me, seeing her on the monitor each ultrasound appointment and see the amazment of a child growing inside. When I had her his sister was with me an it was helpful alot an to be honest all the pain of labor he didnt come to mind til almost time to push and I told his sister I wished tony was there so I could curse him out for not feeling the labor pains with me! LOL. After having her I brought her to see him every chance But two times that I cried was when he first looked at her an teared up and the moment she reached out for him an could only touch glass and he teared up. He wanted to be there through pregnancy and all so bad he wanted to support me and his daughter, he still does. There are so many emotions someone can go through with their child's father being locked up and pregnant even after pregnancy. Shes almost 10 months old and hes still locked up. We go see him every week. I have faced the reality that I will have to raise her on my own until she is an adult cause he has 17 years right to do in prison.
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  #90  
Old 12-30-2012, 08:34 PM
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Default Missed the birth of our last child and 10 months later ... still in there.

My husband was locked up when I was 8 months pregnant (February 20, 2012). I had to go through the birth without him and although I tried to hold it together and be strong on the outside, on the inside it killed me. It still hurts because not only did he miss the birth but he has missed almost the first year of his life. Myself and our 2 children have went through so much more than that though.. losing our home, having to start over numerous times since his incarceration ... too much to name. I worried then about him not bonding with his son, but it weighs even more heavy on my heart now that he has missed so much. I pray we will all be together again soon but it has definitely affected all of us.
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  #91  
Old 12-31-2012, 01:53 AM
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I really couldn't understand what you all are going through its been had enough to raise my 4 year old on my own for the last 9 months how do you cope rom birth I am a good listener if anyone needs chat xx
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  #92  
Old 02-12-2013, 10:35 PM
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I did. But it wasn't all bad he was in for most of my pregnancy and came home 49 days later after birth few days before our son was put into the hospital with a brain issue. So was more happy he was there for that
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  #93  
Old 10-17-2013, 08:06 AM
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Yes it looks like he will be. im due in a month and he was denied bail. glad to know im not alone in this. not looking forward to doing it alone, or him missing everything. he wanted to 'catch' the baby and place it on my chest, now a stranger will do that. he was my number one support and now its just me
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  #94  
Old 12-15-2013, 11:20 PM
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My fiance went in 6 days before my due date with our second baby and been in since Feb and our third baby was born in june. But he wasn't in when i had our oldest.
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  #95  
Old 12-16-2013, 12:12 PM
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My husband went in 4 mos ago....a month after our son turned a year old But he was there fir the birth and was so awesome in the hospital
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  #96  
Old 07-30-2014, 10:49 PM
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He was locked up probably 2 weeks after she was born, but never got to meet her
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  #97  
Old 08-05-2014, 07:51 AM
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My husband got locked up when his daughter turned 1. he seen her a couple of times when she was an infant. I went to visit him for the first time in the jail before with her so they can bond. Now he is up north we go on the regular to see him and we get phone calls every day. They are since then very close.
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  #98  
Old 08-05-2014, 11:59 AM
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Default MIA Daddy to be.

My boyfriend/ sons father was incarcerated for the majority of my pregnancy and our sons birth. It was extremely hard for me to accept that he wouldn't be here for such an important day in our life's. I stressed out about him missing at first. My first trimester was all crying and feeling alone. But once I was able to visit it didn't seem so bad. When our son was born, I sent pictures through jpay. He was able to meet out son when he was about two months old.There are days that I seem more alone then others. We still have a little over a year left until we're reunited. My advice for any mom trying to juggle a new baby or child with the father in prison is pictures. My boyfriend looks forward to pictures and especially visits. ♡ stay strong Momma
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  #99  
Old 08-05-2014, 01:23 PM
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I am due September 8 which is a month away and my man will no be here for me and our baby girl. I dont even know if he will be able to call because he is in reception. Not only am I sad about it but its depressing because this is the only moment this will happen and he wont be able to hold my hand or hold his daughter. My mom and fam will be there but it is not the same. Some days are harder than others but i try and stay positive as much as i can because there is really nothing i can do about it. I just cant wait until we get approved to visit again and i can take the kids to see him so they can be in his lives and him in theres...
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  #100  
Old 04-08-2015, 03:03 AM
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I just went through it last month. He went in when our daughter was 7 months old and I was 5 months pregnant. I am sad that he missed out on our sons birth and I ended up having emergency C section. The whole situation is depressing
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