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Raising Children with Parents in Prison For the Parent left behind with children AND for the Children that have a parent inside. Discussion of unique challenges facing this group!

View Poll Results: Was ur babys daddy locked up when his baby was born?
yes 141 76.22%
no 25 13.51%
shortly after the birth 19 10.27%
Voters: 185. You may not vote on this poll

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  #26  
Old 02-19-2009, 04:56 PM
clkaty clkaty is offline
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yes. I was 3 months pregnant when he got a 33 year sentence. Our son is now 14 and has always known his father with regular visits and mail. I had no reason to keep him from his child because of a mistake he made and the friends he chose. We were both 15, now in our early 30's.
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  #27  
Old 02-19-2009, 07:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by special_24 View Post
Was just curious as to how many women have had to go through childbirth without their baby daddys? I did and it was and very stressful. I am sure that there are more than just me to share this experience . What did he think or how did he feel?
Yes my bf was locked up a month before my son was born and was in for over 6 years, he was in county jail when i gave birth and was actually able to call into my room (how exciting....NOT). He is out now and we are no longer together but he is sober and a great Dad/provider for our son. But all those years without his him around was tough, its his own fault though. It absolutely killed him to be away from our son but I think its what has kept him inline since his release he never wants to be away from our son again. Nor does he want my son to ever be in trouble like he was. But yea i can relate to your story, it proves why God made women be the child bearers, its cause we can handle anything.
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  #28  
Old 02-19-2009, 07:09 PM
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Originally Posted by Cristianswifey View Post
I was 3 months pregnant when he went in and our daughter finally got to see him inperson for the first time in january (she is 3 1/2 years old now) and it has been somewhat of a problem. I show her his pictures and everything but after 2 visits she still has not completely warmed up to him yet. I hope we get there soon because it hurts him a lot that she doesn't like him and he blames himself. i know when she gets to know him she will love him more than anything in this world
Is he able to call at all? Even hearing his voice and relating it to "Daddy" may help her when she visits. Hell my son thought his Dad WAS a phone for his first year of life lol (it wasnt funny then of course but i can laugh about it now). The best thing of all is my son has no recollection that his Dad was in prison the first 6 years of his life, if he remembers visiting he has never ever mentioned it. See if your man can call and talk to her even if its to say hi so she can hear his voice and know its Daddys.
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  #29  
Old 02-19-2009, 07:47 PM
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My husband (bf at the time) got locked up when I was 4 months pregnant with my oldest. He wasn't there for the pregnancy or the birth. My gma called the prison and they relayed the message and let him call my hospital room that night. With my second, he got arrested when I was about 5 months pregnant and was out waiting on court date to see his 2nd son be born but got sentenced to ten years (plea bargain) when he was only 6 weeks old. It's a 3 hour drive to see him and since I am not working we have only been twice (in the last 7 months). I have since moved on to be with someone else and am pregnant with my 3rd
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  #30  
Old 02-25-2009, 01:02 PM
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I will say no and yes. My husband and I have 2 beautiful boys together. With our oldest one, my husband was there for the conception, pregnancy and birth, well almost. My husband worked at the hospital that our son was born at and he had to work, and they would only let him come for the birth, then he had to go right back, needless to say, he was 5 minutes too late. He was arrested 6 days later and sentenced to 16 months.

With our second son, my husband was arrested, and let out. He was sentenced in March of 08 and a couple of weeks later I found out that he left me a beautiful parting gift.../

At first I was mad at him . How could he do this to me? Leave me with 6 babies to take care of and pregnant with another? But when I thought about it, there was nothing to be mad about. This was something that God wanted, I guess (since we used every birth control known to man, almost...) But my husband is still in there. No one let him know when our last son was born, and he was calling the house trying to find out if I was alright the whole week that I was there.

But all in all, it has been alright. My husband talks to all our children all the time, sometimes I think that it is really them that he wants to talk to, not me... LOL and even though the baby boy hasn't seen his dad in over a year, he knows who his dad is. I show him pictures of his daddy and he "talks" to him on the phone, so hopefully when I get a chance to go and see my husband and take the kids with me, my baby boy will recognize his daddy on the spot..
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  #31  
Old 03-07-2009, 03:18 AM
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I was in the hospital for 3 weeks before having my baby and my husband wasnt there for any of it. It was very hard on me. I was 5 months pregnant when he got arrested and when they arrested him- i remember the way he held me- he had handcuffs on and he was hugging my belly. We had a wreck- he was so scared that i was hurt and the officers were being the biggest jerks to us. I remember my dr telling me that i would have to have my baby 2 days later after i was stable and i just remember crying. I wanted my baby there with me to see it all. Its very hard...
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  #32  
Old 03-13-2009, 06:58 PM
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Our baby will be born while he's locked up.I'm due On May 28th
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  #33  
Old 03-13-2009, 07:11 PM
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Yes, my husband went in when I was three weeks pregnant and we didn't even know. He is scheduled to get out the week before our son's first birthday IF he gets all his gain time (!!) He calls a couple of times a day and I put the phone on "speaker" the whole time. This way the baby gets to hear his daddy's voice while he's talking to me as well as when he is talking to him. The really neat part is that now our son has started cooing and crowing back, and my husband is totally overwhelmed when they have "conversations"!
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  #34  
Old 04-20-2009, 02:04 PM
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My husband wasn't locked up when our son was born but he was only 15 months old. So he was with me through the pregnancy and the delivery and he had a chance to be with him through a lot of his 1st's: such as 1st words, 1st steps and all that good stuff. But it was extremely hard after he left, because here my baby is not understanding what happened to his daddy. When we first went to visit and it was time to leave my son did not want to leave his daddy. This was heartbreaking to me and my husband. My son is 7 years old now and thank God this ordeal is almost over.
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  #35  
Old 04-23-2009, 11:47 AM
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well me and my childrens father broke up for a year and during that time i found out i was pregnant,tried to get back in contact w/ him and found out he was arrested on july 30,07 my 1st son was born aug 2,07 so pregnancy alone and delivery alone and he didnt get out until he was 4 mnths old. second child was 5 mnths pregnant when he got locked up was given 20 mnths, gave birth 4/6/09 hard hard delivery no medication all natural birth,and daughter stayed in nicu for 7 days,it was very stressful but i know he was very hurt he couldnt be there and that she was in nicu and not knowing what was going on.
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  #36  
Old 04-28-2009, 04:28 PM
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I'm pregnant right now and hubs is back in prison. Our baby is due in September and he's not eligable to come home until March 2010.
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  #37  
Old 04-28-2009, 05:57 PM
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When I was pregnant with my 16 year old her dad went in and did 7 years and stayed out a few months and he is still in. I met my husband in 98 and we have two kids together-6 and 8- and he raised my oldest as his. He was there for both of their births. He just left us in Aug 2008.
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  #38  
Old 04-29-2009, 06:41 AM
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My son is 10 and his dad has been locked up 8 yrs of that he got locked up 2 months before his first birthday.I always wrote him and shoewd our son pictures plus went to visit so our son knows him very well and loves him but then he got out april of 2007 was out slmost a year now hes back in there my children are very hurt by this but we still love him and hope it dont happen again. So it very rough
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  #39  
Old 05-09-2009, 01:19 AM
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He went to county here when I was four months pregnant and was on work release until I was seven months pregnant so I did get to see him and be with him every day. He was sentenced to prison when I was seven months pregnant so his work release was took away. He was still here in county when I had the baby a month early. He has saw her at visits in county. Just over the tv monitor/phone. He was moved to prison when she was two and a half months old
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  #40  
Old 05-09-2009, 06:38 PM
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I was 6 months pregnant when my husband went to jail. I was lucky enough to have been living with my parents and he didn't have a job when he went in, so I was the only one working. Our baby is now 6 months old and we go see his Daddy every weekend. My husband got to call me, but could only call my house but because of the pregnancy being high risk I had to stay in the hospital a couple of extra days so I didn't actually get to see him, but I ended up taking his son to him at two weeks old! All the regular vistors and my husband have gotten to watch him grow!
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  #41  
Old 05-11-2009, 01:22 PM
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He got locked up when i was 4 months then got out for 3 days when i was 6 months. He felt bad that he couldn't be here when she was born. He had a his sister calling me all the time to see home the baby and I were doing. He has 2 little boys from a previous relationship but he was young when they were born and the mom really didn't let him play a part in the pregnancy. With our daughter the couple days i spent with him before he went back in his hand was glued to my stomach so he could feel her kicking. He was so cute with his ear to my stomach trying to tell me He cOUld hear our baby girls heart beat. He's sad he's missing out on her growing up right now but he should be out hopefully before her first birthday
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  #42  
Old 05-12-2009, 11:36 PM
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My husband was home for the birth of our youngest daughter...he went in right after her 1st birthday.
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  #43  
Old 05-13-2009, 11:26 AM
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My First baby's daddy was locked up when I gave birth (1986 - I was 21) but my other three was not. And let me tell you there is nothing better than having a man on the streets who loves his family while going threw labor and delivery.
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  #44  
Old 05-26-2009, 08:22 PM
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My first baby daddy got locked up 1mon. after i told him i was pregnant.. He gets out 2012..Our daughter is 5
Now my husband was there since day 1 and inside the delivery room.. Even cut the umbilical cord. Our daughter was 10mon.. When he got arrested..She will be 2 In August He Gets out 2021

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  #45  
Old 05-26-2009, 10:49 PM
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when i was 5 months pregnant he got locked up...i was living in az but came to ca for a family emerengcy and that weekednd he got locked up....and he still in there! nov 14 2012 he coming home!!! i hate that he is not here helping me raise our baby!! but thats why the lord gives us women the strenght that we need!!!
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  #46  
Old 05-27-2009, 03:26 PM
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Yes, we conceived Elijah August 2006 when he got out, by Feb. 2007 he was locked back up and Elijah was born May 2007.
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  #47  
Old 05-27-2009, 03:26 PM
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My hubby got locked up 1 month and 3 days before our youngest was born. It was horrible, the whole time I had planned everything with him there, and all I could do was scream for him (which didn't do any good but focusing on him helped with the pushing). The jail let him call me shortly after I went to give birth and right after I gave birth I called the LT and he let Jody call me back. He felt horrible and still feels horrible about all that happened and all he has already missed.
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  #48  
Old 06-24-2009, 04:14 PM
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My man got locked up July 4, 2008 and our daughter was born July 26, 2008, 3 months premature and only 2 lbs, 2 ounces. She is now healthy and beautiful. It was really hard with Freddy not being there. Even harder since "Brooklyn Sky" had to be in the hospital for 3 months.
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  #49  
Old 06-26-2009, 12:58 AM
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my man got locked up 6 days before our oldest son dominick was born .. he was born sept.3 of 07 and he got out sept 4. .. he got locked up again when dominick was 5 months and i was prego with ayden . he is still locked up and hasnt even got to hold ayden yet. he was born aug.20 of 08.. its really hard

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  #50  
Old 07-01-2009, 06:55 PM
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Im 6 months along right now and my fiance was arrested right after we found out. Its our first child, a boy. He'll ne in prison for the first couple years of his sons life. I dont know who its harder on, me or him, but I sure as hell know who its unfail to, our unborn son. He'll pay for me and his father being reckless and stupid instead of good, prepared people ready to become parents. It could be worse of course but its still hard right now.
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