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Old 02-23-2012, 01:00 PM
TexasCaliLove TexasCaliLove is offline
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Default Advice for family member, she is unhappy, has family pressures, just a mess

I don’t know if this is the right tread to post this in, but I’m going to post anyways.

I need advise for my cousin, she is the only that backs me up with my relationship with my bf, I’ve told her about this site and how it has help me cope with having an incarcerated loved one, so she asked me for advice in her personal situation.

Here’ s her dilemma, (lets call her J)

J is 22 yrs old she has 2 daughters, she got married at 19 yrs old because she became pregnant with her first child, her parents obliged her to get married, because they worried too much on what others might think (b.s) Her relationship with her husband started off on just sex, she thought that maybe after a while she would start loving him, well now 3 yrs later, she is unhappy and doesn’t know what to do. When her first daughter was born, they started having problems and he told her parents on how their relationship was based on sex and that she was a hoe and other degrading words, due to this they split for a while. During that time her husband cheated on her and didn’t support her, they eventually got back and a couple of months later she became pregnant with her 2nd daughter. She suffered in her 2nd pregnancy because she moved away from everyone, so that they could fix their relationship, but his family started talking mess about her, J is usually the type that doesn’t take shit from no one, but during this time she wasn’t talking to anyone from the family, because she had gotten back with him, and she didn’t want to leave her daughters without a dad, times went on and she had her 2nd daughter, during this time she meet a 19 yr old guy at a restaurant that she started talking to, she started to get bored with her relationship with her husband and started a sexual relationship with this guy, now he was also married. She recently started working and her mom takes care of her girls, and she wants to split from her husband now that she is financially stable, her parents supprot her getting a divorce( ironic huh) on one condition she has to move in with them and do what they say or stay unhappy with her marriage, because for them being single is a sin and divorce is wrong( we come from a very traditional mexican family) so thats her life what should she do i tell her to get a divorce and that she can make it if she really wants to, and to stop that fling with that guy is not right , but i dont judge her.

sorry is so long any advice is welcomed

Last edited by TexasCaliLove; 02-23-2012 at 01:08 PM..
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Old 02-23-2012, 01:25 PM
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rose80 rose80 is offline
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Wow what a mess! I would just get the divorce and live my life regardless to what my parents wanted because it's my life not theirs. I mean she has already made decisions on her own (getting back together with her husband against while her family seemed to think other wise and by cheating on her husband with a married man) and she should continue to do so because how else will you learn and grow!

Do what you feel in your heart to be right, for you will be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do and dammed if you don't" - Eleanor Roosevelt

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Old 02-23-2012, 01:27 PM
Loubabygirl Loubabygirl is offline

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She should definitely divorce and move in with her parents. Abide by their rules until she can hopefully afford to be out on her own. And she should definitely break it off with that other guy. Neither one of them are putting themselves in a good position. Just my opinion.
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