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When the Relationship is Over... This forum is about discussing your thoughts, feelings and issues now that you and your incarcerated (or formerly incarcerated) loved one are no longer together. (This forum is NOT for bashing - please read the rules before posting.)

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  #26  
Old 10-31-2017, 02:05 AM
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I am sorry he contacted now you need to come away from him and his drama. Stop letting him drag you into his games you are better than that you deserve better than all of this.
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Old 10-31-2017, 06:37 AM
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Good. Im glad you blocked him and that you were able to get things sorted out in your own head.
Just wow!!
lol, talking about being mature, yet acting like he's in freakin jr high school.

smh
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Old 10-31-2017, 06:49 AM
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Keep him blocked and keep moving forward he and his family are not worth the pain they have caused you.
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  #29  
Old 10-31-2017, 08:43 AM
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Just remember there is no such thing as total closure when there is a bad break up. Some things you will just never understand. He has shown what he is capable of doing. Remember that as you move on and build an awesome life with someone that deserves you.
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  #30  
Old 11-01-2017, 09:26 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bbrittanyrenee View Post
he drunk called at 4AM. if i wouldíve known it was him, i wouldnít have answered. however, the moment i heard his voice. i hung up the phone. he kept trying to call, he text me asking me to answer.
he text me & said, ďI do miss u and I am sorry I hurt u.
I was a d*ck for breaking up with u that way.
I was calling bc when we were together we always talked thru whatever shit we had going on and I didnít give u a chance to talk before I did that.
Iím not trying to get back with u or hurt u or anything. Iím just trying to have the talk u deserved before I left.
I did love u even if u donít believe me.
TBH I will always have love for u bc u really was down AF for me. ď

I wasnít going to respond, I was just goin to block the number. but i kept thinking about how i had things i wished i wouldíve been able to say before he blocked me, and i didnít wanna chance regretting not saying anything.. so i did.

i said, ďwhen did you decide you didnít want to be with me anymore? like how long before you actually left?
oh & btw. just be honest with me. you already broke all your promises & lost me.... so thereís no reason to lie now, i want real answers!Ē

then there was some fake excuses he pulled out of thin air & really thought i would believe him. he told me he still wants to be with me.
then i sent him the letter i wrote the other day, i didnít think heíd ever see it but i took this opportunity to make him see it.
& then, because we have several mutual friends... a screenshot was sent to me by a few
people.. it was a post he shared on facebook that said, ďNah like straight up, Iím only single cuz Iím looking for something serious & mature. Not something short term & childish.Ē
& thatís where my whole attitude & mindset instantly flipped.
first let me say that before the screenshot, no part of me was trying to give him any attention.
but seeing that, while he was texting me trying to act like he was sorry, i hit the angry stage.

i said, ďyou had serious & mature & even unconditional. but you gave it up cuz youíre a childish ass thot. meanwhile over here tryna tell me some other shit like you give a f*ck about me or how iím feeling. you shoulda just stayed gone dude like forreal. it was so easy for you to walk away, so stay away. man i hope for the sake of the next girl, your ass grows the hell up before you meet her.Ē
i told him i was blocking him & he said, ďIíll always have love for you babygirl remember that.Ē
& my final messages before blocking his number were,
ďNAH F*CK YOU.
donít say that shit to me.
youíre a liar & you know it.
iím sending this & blocking your number. i hope you continue to better your life & stay out of trouble, & i hope one day you grow up & become the man you have potential to be so you can have a truly happy life. now itís my turn to walk away. bye Israel.Ē

Let me tell you guys, I seriously feel like a huge weight was lifted of my chest, i feel like i can breath again. iím sure thereís going to be random times where i get sad & miss him, but for the most part, i feel better & i think itís cuz i got my closure .i feel like maybe iíve made it thru the worst part & now i can start moving on. iím glad i decided to have that conversation. i needed it.
Dang that is fucked up girl. Can I just punch him in the face for you ? lol......man he is something else. Keep your head up you got something better coming. Listen to Demi Lovato song her new one. I had that on replay for a moment cheered me the heck up. I listen to all them songs they help me get through tuff times, exercising helps. Is sucks how down a girl can be so down for a guy and he like blah.....blah......so easy for them. Maybe he having a freaking melt down now that he got out or a moment is what I'm trying to say. Social Media I hate Facebook everything like that. Why? because no matter what some dam drama starts or your hear shit you probably didn't want to know, etc......maybe it's just me but shooooot. I feel if somebody wanna know how I'm doing or whatever come see me, call me, text me, send a letter. But anyways off topic now......Man I have been in your shoes girl. I know you love him so damn much so makes it 10x harder to move on. When you made plans with this person lived together etc.......Theres no other way now but to lift yourself up talk to friends and just vent. Things will get better.


Last edited by ilovemysqueezy; 11-01-2017 at 09:52 AM..
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  #31  
Old 11-01-2017, 10:08 AM
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You Go Girl!!! Do YOU with a huge smile. You will be better in time.
Do not look back.. If you ever think of going back remember that pain he caused you and keep moving foward.

Girl, I know what you mean by WEIGHT BEING LIFTED. Awesome feeling isn't it.

Take care..
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  #32  
Old 12-23-2017, 08:29 AM
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Soooo, a few little updates - good and bad i suppose?
...
First of all, around the time when he first disappeared on me.. I had taken a pregnancy test and it was negative. Missed cycles or noticeably different cycles are a normal occurrence for me because I have some health issues surrounding all of that, so I never think anything of it. Well, just after thanksgiving I ended up in the ER for something, ended up getting a pregnancy test there, and it was positive. Then an ultrasound not only confirmed the positive test, but I found out I was about 10 weeks along.. The rollercoaster of emotions that brought on was nothing compared to the pain I gained on December 5th.. I was at my first doctor's appointment, in some pain and ended up finding out I miscarried.. So I'm dealing with that, and in a way (whether it's rational or not), I'm angry with him for leaving me to go through this on my own...

Anyway, now onto an update about him... I really didn't think I'd have anymore to say about him... I was wrong. But, after this. I'll only spend my time updating about him one more time, and that will be when the outcome of his current situation is determined.

So, he had a new girlfriend by Halloween & I actually know someone related to her, so I know she's a hardcore drug user... and that also means, he started using again (which at first, I didn't know it was "again", considering when we met I was in the process of getting clean and he told me he hated the stuff and only tried it once or twice) but because of the mutual people in our lives, I ended up finding out this is him relapsing.
No matter how much he hurt me, knowing he relapsed makes me a little sad for him.. As a recovering addict, I know that feeling all too well and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

But, besides the miscarriage... I'm doing really well continuing to heal and move forward with my life. However, I'll admit I did breakdown just a little when I got a call from the county jail on the 6th. BUT... I did NOT accept the call. As soon as I heard his name and his quick "please answer, I need to apologize" on the recording, I hung up and blocked the number. He's tried calling a few more times, because I get "blocked voicemails" popping up in my voicemail box on my phone. I delete them without listening.

I'll also admit that after the first call, curiousity got the best of me and I looked him up to see what he was arrested for. I won't put all his business out here, and as of right now he has yet to be convicted of anything, however with the charges against him.. if he does get convicted, he'll be getting his 3rd strike & will be gone for a long time.

It's disappointing to see that he's pretty much throwing his life away, because I saw a glimpse of the potential he has to be a wonderful, changed man.. but drug addiction is a disease, the lifestyle he's used to still had too strong of a grasp on him, and he chose to be with someone who is toxic to him and his attempt to change his life. I'm definitely not justifying anything for him, he's 26 years old and a stubborn ass, so all of this is 100% his fault. I absolutely refuse to let myself get wrapped up in all that again though. I'm standing my ground and staying gone.

There's a guaranteed place to stay and job available for me if I'm willing to relocate to Seattle, and I'm seriously considering taking the opportunity. I won't stay gone from California forever, but I'm thinking a year or so away might do me some good. But, I won't be making my decision until after the holidays.

Anyway, sorry for the long rambling post.. I had a general idea of what I wanted to say in this post and then it kind of exploded a bit. haha
Plus, I'm using my laptop to post this, and I tend to type a lot more on it than I do when I'm on my phone.
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  #33  
Old 12-23-2017, 08:41 AM
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Even though you may not think so now but the miscarriage was a blessing. Let him do him and don't fall back into his web of lies. Move on and live your life because you are better off.
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  #34  
Old 12-23-2017, 09:26 AM
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You've dodged all sorts of bullets, haven't you? Good on ya! It's good to know you're solid in your sobriety and looking forward....Seattle sounds like a really nice opportunity.

Don't look back!
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Old 12-23-2017, 09:33 AM
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I am so sorry you have had such a hard time. I think you have dealt with it all so well. Seattle sounds like an opportunity not to be missed.
As for him well he got his karma so leave him to deal with his mess and you focus on your bright future.
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Old 12-23-2017, 09:39 AM
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I'm sorry this has been such a roller coaster. Stand strong with your head up in your achievements. You loved unconditionally and completely. You recognize weaknesses in him and choose to protect your own sobriety Good for you. I am so proud of you.
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Old 12-23-2017, 01:05 PM
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I am sorry ally his happened, but they way it unfolded also gives you some closure. You now know what happened. It was drugs not you. You didn't do anything wrong. Drugs had a strong hold on him more than he could let on or tell you. Plus, he respected you enough to keep you say from it. Be grateful for that.

Yes, it was not the mature way to handles things, but he left because he demons were too great. He left because he couldn't do those things around you.

Moving on and a new location is a wonderful idea. You loved unconditionally. You learned many lessons. Ultimately, we can love, but we cannot fix them. That is on them. Please be kind to yourself.
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Old 12-23-2017, 01:08 PM
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Take that job in Seattle. Change your number. Donít look back. You can come back to California if you want in the future, of course. But cut all ties to this man. Make sure heís gone for good from your life. You gave him everything and he blew it. Focus on you. Focus on growing even more than you already have. Find your happiness.

While I hate that this didnít work out for you, I love that you have an opportunity to make a huge change here. Take it. Weíre right here if you need us.

-E
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  #39  
Old 12-23-2017, 09:27 PM
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Honey, GO TO SEATTLE!!! Seattle is a neat place to live, and you’ll meet someone there who will erase that loser’s memory from your mind. If you don’t go you might regret it for the rest of your life. All the best to you.
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Old 12-24-2017, 02:06 AM
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Wow, such a sad story and you're such a strong person at such a young age. I agree with the other posters. Take this opportunity and go to Seattle and start fresh. As you said, you can always go back to California if it doesn't work out, but if you pass it up, who knows what you'll be missing.

As for the miscarriage, I know this doesn't make you feel any better, but look at it as god has a plan and it was probably meant to be. I was pregnant with triplets and while it was exciting, it was so scary at the same time. The risk was so great and I was scared I would lose the entire pregnancy. My first ultrasound showed that one of the babies showed that something was wrong very early on and to come back for another ultra sound in a few weeks. Well, at the next ultrasound (either 2 or 4 weeks later, I can't recall) sure enough, there was the empty sac with no heartbeat. I had miscarried that one. I was very early in my pregnancy and even though it was better for my other two remaining, it was for the best. They ultimately told me if I hadn't miscarried that one, because I did go into early labor with what are my now 17 year old twins, I would most definitely have lost the entire pregnancy. Thus, everything really does happen for a reason.

This guy was a bad seed. Think about the fact that you would have had to be intertwined with him for years to come if this fetus hadn't miscarried. A miscarriage doesn't mean you did anything wrong, it just was a bad pregnancy. With his 3rd strike, you would have been a single parent dealing with a man child who is clearly not ready to take responsibility to be a father.

As your young age, I feel bad that you have had to deal with this. You're so young to have had to go through this. You are a special person who gave your heart, affection and time to someone who clearly didn't deserve you. You deserve someone so much better and you will find that person when you may not be looking. That often seems to be the case. This was a good learning process for you and I have to give you credit for being strong and not giving in and accepting the calls and blocking him. Not too many people are strong enough to go through with that.

Hang in there. It WILL get better and you are one strong young lady!!

Happy Holidays!!! 2018 has the potential to be a much better year for you!
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Old 12-24-2017, 04:48 AM
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I'm in tears with these responses, but they're not sad tears. I can't express how thankful I am for the support I've found here.. I can definitely say so much of my strength during all of this comes from knowing I have a wonderful community here who has my back.

As for Seattle, I'm ironing out the details with the friend I have there who presented the opportunity to me... by the middle of January she will have everything on her side squared away and ready for me to be there should I decide to do it.. Which even though it's a bit scary to think about... I think I'm gonna do it. There's colleges that offer what I want to study, with better options and programs than here. Plus, it's so difficult to find a job here, and if I move there I'll for sure walk into a $15/hour full time receptionist job.
There's so much more than just him that I need to get away from.
One day, I'll definitely be back in California because that's where I want to be. But I think getting away for a year or two will do me some good.. mentally, emotiionally, financially, etc.
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Old 12-24-2017, 05:32 AM
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I can't express how much I admire your strength, intelligence and integrity. You have been through more in a short time then most people ever deal with in a life time. You have so much going for you now and I am so happy for all you are doing and how you are handling everything. I am so sorry for the loss of the baby, I miscarried and no matter what the situation I still ached for that baby. I know now that I was in no position or mental state to raise a child but it still affected me in ways that I won't ever get over. Your young and have a bright future ahead of you, take this chance moving to Seattle and start fresh and give yourself the chance that you deserve, away from all the crazy drug life that you could easily have fallen back into. Be blessed!!!
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Old 12-24-2017, 05:33 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bbrittanyrenee View Post
I'm in tears with these responses, but they're not sad tears. I can't express how thankful I am for the support I've found here.. I can definitely say so much of my strength during all of this comes from knowing I have a wonderful community here who has my back.

As for Seattle, I'm ironing out the details with the friend I have there who presented the opportunity to me... by the middle of January she will have everything on her side squared away and ready for me to be there should I decide to do it.. Which even though it's a bit scary to think about... I think I'm gonna do it. There's colleges that offer what I want to study, with better options and programs than here. Plus, it's so difficult to find a job here, and if I move there I'll for sure walk into a $15/hour full time receptionist job.
There's so much more than just him that I need to get away from.
One day, I'll definitely be back in California because that's where I want to be. But I think getting away for a year or two will do me some good.. mentally, emotiionally, financially, etc.
Good luck sweetheart , what a wonderful opportunity.
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Old 12-24-2017, 10:22 AM
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I just wanted to echo the good choices you are making (for someone I consider young)
It sounds like WA will be a welcome change. Plus its very beautiful country.

Be kind to yourself. You deserve it. (((((big hugs)))))
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Old 12-24-2017, 03:55 PM
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Yes!! Go! This is the time of your life to make big waves.

But seriously... get on some birth control. No one in this day and age should be having unplanned pregnancies.
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3 weeks home...My heart ripped out *updated* NurseJacqui82 Now That Your Loved One Is Home... 166 07-15-2010 06:23 PM


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