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When the Relationship is Over... This forum is about discussing your thoughts, feelings and issues now that you and your incarcerated (or formerly incarcerated) loved one are no longer together. (This forum is NOT for bashing - please read the rules before posting.)

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  #26  
Old 11-16-2017, 10:05 PM
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That's simple - you go to the domestic abuse agency nearest you, and you start talking. You ask them for legal help in getting full custody of your daughter and supervised visitation (just to prove that you're not being vindictive, but he has to pay for the visit supervision). And child support. And a no-contact order.

They may well have a lawyer on staff, or they can point you in the right direction for cheap and good help.

And then you stay there and keep talking. He's got you convinced that you are so helpless that he can always find you even while he's in prison, and take revenge. Well, you need to remember how strong you used to be, and how smart you were before him. They can help you with some of that.

Do it now, while your chances are best!
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  #27  
Old 11-28-2017, 08:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ms Anne49 View Post
I need help staying strong.... some of you may know about me from my posts and walking away has been extremely difficult but I've been doing it. From my prior posts you can see it's been a difficult road with him. It started on my birthday and him forgetting and has just progressed from there.... the last incident was he was calling his ex girlfriend and I found out. Facts 100% he was calling her. He would literally hang up with me and call her. Some days he wouldn't even call me but he'd call her. Dates, times etc.... I have it all. Nonetheless I walked..... I'm so sick of his crap. I've gotten no calls, no letters no things and frankly I'm fine with it. It hurts a bit but if he called I wouldn't pick up anyway I have nothing to say. Now his family is all over me ( not being mean) just saying how much he loves me and misses me and he's lost without me- blah blah blah...... his mother called me today to say he called her several times and all he talked about was me. I should give him a chance and he loves only me and she means nothing to him. I said why the hell would he be calling her then? Why would he risk things with me to be sneaky and be calling her? Oh he just needs someone to talk too! Give me a break! He called her more then he called me in the last month. I have had it and I don't want to be disrespectful to his mom as we are/were close but I really can't believe I'm being asked to put it aside and focus on the bigger picture. I'm dumbfounded. She even suggested I write to him. He f**** up and I'm suppose to write to him? Seriously...... he asked if I had asked about him, asked them to have him call me or asked about visits, no I don't want to talk to him- he can call her! I don't want to see him- she can go see him. I just can't believe I'm being made to feel like I should be there for him when he needs me the most and I should be asking for his calls etc. no I don't think so. I even reached out to this other woman today to try and talk- no confrontation or anything like that just asked if we could talk and no reply. Nothing! Silence speaks volumes.... im not mad at her for who the hell knows what he was telling her and that's all I wanted to discuss with her. I find myself feeling angry that I'm being made to feel like I'm
Making a big deal out of nothing and she means nothing to him. So why was he calling her? Maybe I'm just venting here because I have no one to talk too but I'm angry and I find myself either having to be rude, which I don't want to be rude to his mother for I understand the love she has for her son but he screwed up not me.... sorry but even in prison you can still have common sense. If he's sad, and upset, and crying over me- it's his own fault. If I can't trust him in prison I can't trust him period. He thrives on attention so guess what now he can have it without having to worry about me getting mad. I just don't know if I should tell them straight which I tried but they don't "hear" me and keep trying to get me back into this or if I should just ignore them all. I am a person too with feelings and my feelings matter. I think it's wrong she's telling me to look past his calling her and just be there for him. Last time I looked I was not a doormat....... so frustrated here....... calling his ex...... F that!

SMH
I send a hug your way tonight reading this, y' hola chica.Just way too many wrongs here. I would've left as soon as i realize mi fiancee/bff somehow "forgot mi birthday." and the familia es nuts if they think 4 one damn minute you'e going to be the 1 writing this guy. WTF is that about. There is NO WAY i would do that.
You did NOTHING wrong. CRY. sure. let it all out. yell.scream. then move on
-
It's time to keep on movin' on . . . I wish you, the best...
-
However, i have no doubt GOD will bless you either way. .Him? Not so much. You're so much BETTER than that.
He sadly, did not/do not believe that. . . and best believe IF he did, he would have no issue loving you right/treating his Queen(you) a #realwoman right each waking day..If he really believed you deserve the best, he sure would've:

>had no problems cutting' the ex-factor off.

-
>She wouldn't have even cross his mind, let alone calling her over you.
Keep it movin. PM me anytime you want. You're BETTER than that.This is his loss.Not yours. You're going to be just fine...Just give it time.
-
Good luck to you. hugs and blessings.adios.
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#TAAS ...(There are always signs.)
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Do NOT ignore the signs. Don't let the "I love u's,cloud your better judgement."
-
Do not give your "all" to some guy who is not showing you through "action."
-
Remember, he is #J.A.M.("Just another man.)

"DON'T let him break you.".God knows what es best for all of us."#Smile #LiveWell #DontSettle.

Last edited by a.rare.love; 11-28-2017 at 08:55 PM..
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  #28  
Old 01-16-2018, 08:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ms Anne49 View Post
I need help staying strong.... some of you may know about me from my posts and walking away has been extremely difficult but I've been doing it. From my prior posts you can see it's been a difficult road with him. It started on my birthday and him forgetting and has just progressed from there.... the last incident was he was calling his ex girlfriend and I found out. Facts 100% he was calling her. He would literally hang up with me and call her. Some days he wouldn't even call me but he'd call her. Dates, times etc.... I have it all. Nonetheless I walked..... I'm so sick of his crap. I've gotten no calls, no letters no things and frankly I'm fine with it. It hurts a bit but if he called I wouldn't pick up anyway I have nothing to say. Now his family is all over me ( not being mean) just saying how much he loves me and misses me and he's lost without me- blah blah blah...... his mother called me today to say he called her several times and all he talked about was me. I should give him a chance and he loves only me and she means nothing to him. I said why the hell would he be calling her then? Why would he risk things with me to be sneaky and be calling her? Oh he just needs someone to talk too! Give me a break! He called her more then he called me in the last month. I have had it and I don't want to be disrespectful to his mom as we are/were close but I really can't believe I'm being asked to put it aside and focus on the bigger picture. I'm dumbfounded. She even suggested I write to him. He f**** up and I'm suppose to write to him? Seriously...... he asked if I had asked about him, asked them to have him call me or asked about visits, no I don't want to talk to him- he can call her! I don't want to see him- she can go see him. I just can't believe I'm being made to feel like I should be there for him when he needs me the most and I should be asking for his calls etc. no I don't think so. I even reached out to this other woman today to try and talk- no confrontation or anything like that just asked if we could talk and no reply. Nothing! Silence speaks volumes.... im not mad at her for who the hell knows what he was telling her and that's all I wanted to discuss with her. I find myself feeling angry that I'm being made to feel like I'm
Making a big deal out of nothing and she means nothing to him. So why was he calling her? Maybe I'm just venting here because I have no one to talk too but I'm angry and I find myself either having to be rude, which I don't want to be rude to his mother for I understand the love she has for her son but he screwed up not me.... sorry but even in prison you can still have common sense. If he's sad, and upset, and crying over me- it's his own fault. If I can't trust him in prison I can't trust him period. He thrives on attention so guess what now he can have it without having to worry about me getting mad. I just don't know if I should tell them straight which I tried but they don't "hear" me and keep trying to get me back into this or if I should just ignore them all. I am a person too with feelings and my feelings matter. I think it's wrong she's telling me to look past his calling her and just be there for him. Last time I looked I was not a doormat....... so frustrated here....... calling his ex...... F that!

Stand your ground!. My guys family is trying to sell me some bullshit just like this.. F that!. Maybe its time to use your BLOCK LIST.. Better yet call go download the app TrapCall Pay $7 to subscribe. Start adding names to the list and when the Call send them to the recording, Im sorry this number has been disconnected or no longer in service! #ThatsHowImHandlingThoseCalls Sheesh!

Hang in there...
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