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When the Relationship is Over... This forum is about discussing your thoughts, feelings and issues now that you and your incarcerated (or formerly incarcerated) loved one are no longer together. (This forum is NOT for bashing - please read the rules before posting.)

View Poll Results: How many got left, after sticking by him?
me. i did, and forgave him. 85 15.95%
no my man would never leave me. 168 31.52%
me, and i will never forgive him, its over. 168 31.52%
no, my man got out, and did what he promised. 112 21.01%
Voters: 533. You may not vote on this poll

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  #76  
Old 07-31-2007, 01:54 PM
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My Husband has been locked up sence Jan. 14, 1995 He has been up for parole 9 times now and comes up again next year. His full term is 14 years, if he don't make it next year He will get out Jan. 13, 2010. I have been waiting on Him all these years. I go see Him all the time send Him money ECT...He always accuse's me of cheating, He say's He is going to love me forever and want drank when He get's out, witch dranking got Him in there in the first place. He also was in prison befor in Calif. He was out 6 months befor this prison term. I meat Him after He came to texas from Calif. in 1995 and We were togather 5 months befor He went back to prison. We were going to get married Valentine's Day 1996 But He went back to prison, so I married Him Feb. 1996 after He was in prison. I was only 25 and now i am 37 I just don't know if I wasted my life waiting on Him. I let all my dreams go for now for a man I am not sure of if He will do all the things He say's He is going to do and not do. I am sceard, what if He get's out and dose me wrong It would kill me. I trust Him some what, but I know They say one thing while there in prison and it is different once they get out. I don't know that I can handle it if He hurts me once He is out. I've dreamed of the day He comes home, all the things We will do, start our lives togather, family ECT. But what if my dreams are destoryed by Him I am so sceard of this happing that I even thought I would leave Him befor He get's out so I could be at peace of mind that I was the one to leave Him But then again I waited all these years, put my life on hold, been so alone, I have to know it wasn't for nothing.
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  #77  
Old 07-31-2007, 01:59 PM
MarinasMassage MarinasMassage is offline
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omg , i thought i was the only one who had issues ...... same story , but not a younger girl , now he lock up again,and his lady left him , after i stay with him 3 years ,s he did not last 2 months .. she moved on ,, hah ha ha ha ha ,and he writes ,and ask his mom to get him back with me .. i have move on myself ,and have a b/f.....

what goes around comes around /............. karma


Quote:
Originally Posted by BGirl
I waited for my guy for three years. I spent thousands of dollars in those three years. Three months after he was released he left me for a young girl he meet the first time we went back to his home town to see his family. Of course before he left he told me he was going to kill me, etc, etc. This past year has been an extremely painful time in my life. I believed in him. What I thought we had was make believe. I was extremely foolish and I paid heavily for something that was not real.

I have a friend who's husband is in prison but their love is real. My case was one of those worse scenario kind of cases.

For those of us that experience this, all we can do is move forward. That is what I am trying to do now.
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WAS IN LOVE WITH AN EX-CON , AND HAS MOVED ON .... BLAH
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  #78  
Old 07-31-2007, 03:29 PM
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I waited for one for a year. I was kicked to the curb (fully) after about 3 months of him being fresh out.

He now wants me back and has been trying really hard to win me over but I'm cool. Does he really want me..........or could it be because I'm now "kickin it" with his cellie?

Hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.?
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  #79  
Old 07-31-2007, 04:26 PM
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My ex went to a community transition program at the end of April. We were good until the beginning of June. Now we rarely talk... but he just found out I'm "with" his old friend... he calls a lot more often... saying he has something to tell me in person. Hm?
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  #80  
Old 07-31-2007, 08:10 PM
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Default Ex Talking to me In person

When an ex tells me he has to tell me something in person, a caution light comes up, what does he have to tell me in person that he cant tell me on the phone, hmmm
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  #81  
Old 07-31-2007, 08:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ByTitoside
When an ex tells me he has to tell me something in person, a caution light comes up, what does he have to tell me in person that he cant tell me on the phone, hmmm
I think you knew where I was getting at... haha... I'm thinking he wants to get some... haha cuz he can't tell me that on the phone! It's not happening though!
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  #82  
Old 08-14-2007, 04:03 PM
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Wow..a lot of the situations going on here remind me of my ex..he and i were together for 9 months before he was sent to prison, come to find out the whole time we were together he was messin' around with both of his baby mommas AND while he was in county, married one of them [while i was still with him]. Now that he is out of prison, and got a divorce w/ his wife, he decides he wants me back and that everything he did was a big mistake [yea right jackass!!]. I have a wonderful fiance who i love & will never do anything to lose what him & i have. All i can say to you ladies who are goin' through it.. be strong and keep your head up. He/she will get theirs. Pay back is a bi**h & they will soon realize what they had.
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  #83  
Old 08-14-2007, 04:43 PM
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I have also has the same experience. The signs were there i was just blind. My gut knew what was up. Even though it was a struggle i moved forward and to my surprise when i wasnt looking my husband,soulmate, and bestfriend came into my life. Sometimes things happen for a reason....it just takes some time to come about. I am more happy now then ever. Look at everything as a stepping stone to a new beginning....
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  #84  
Old 08-14-2007, 05:01 PM
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I don't know what's worse, the guy who flat out says he just wanted someone there for him while he was in prison, or the guy who won't admit it to your face.

I feel the exact same way you do, Terrell, but my husband won't flat out say that he just needed me there for him. I met him not too long before he got sent in. Needless to say I had no idea about his past because he chose not to tell me. I married him while he was in there and felt as if we were destined to be together. He was perfect is how I felt about him.

I'm not a young girl and had been married before for eleven years, so you'd think I'd have learned my lesson......but I guess not.

Anyhow, I feel for you and when I'm done feeling sorry for myself I'll pick myself back up and move on. I always do.........good luck!!!!
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  #85  
Old 08-14-2007, 06:02 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by avery
I have also has the same experience. The signs were there i was just blind. My gut knew what was up. Even though it was a struggle i moved forward and to my surprise when i wasnt looking my husband,soulmate, and bestfriend came into my life. Sometimes things happen for a reason....it just takes some time to come about. I am more happy now then ever. Look at everything as a stepping stone to a new beginning....
This is almost what happen to me. I was with him for 5 years..he got out..and left me. still dont know why. I guess the drinking was more important. On the better side. I have met a wonderful man. At this time he is locked up too. Him and Donald are like night and day. i wasnt looking for another MWI, but it happen. We been "together" for almost 2 years. I did tell him that I just wanted to be friends until he gets out. Only because I couldnt deal with the fact that he was in there EVEN THOUGH I knew he had a while. When the feelin is there, you just know. My mom thinks im crazy, but hey, its my life.
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  #86  
Old 08-14-2007, 07:55 PM
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it happened to me! and Antsgirl..be careful...the guy i stuck by for almost 6 years...his cellie tried pulling one over on me too!
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  #87  
Old 08-15-2007, 01:45 AM
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My ex SLIM loved me SOOOOOO much when he was locked up. .. daily letter professing undying love... even marriage proposals every time that never happened... man I was dumb and took him back every time then as soon as he hit the streets and had a breath of fresh air he would call say he is out and I wouldn't see him for weeks.... .. then we would kick it.... he'd go to jail...he loves me again...get out forgets my name... goes to jail " OH baby, I have not treated you right.. I love you"... my dumb ass "I love you too baby" *tear*..... the last time he got out *when I still talked to him*.. he came over with his friends and we had a double date...came home had sex he left.... didn't hear from him for two weeks.. . he came over and left a note on my gate *secured building*.... I threw it *sorry for littering*....went to jail AGAIN... I sent his letters back.. ignored his cousins trying to get me to talk to him... .... he gets out 6 months later... I run into take him home put it on him something vicious.. woke him up early am and told him he had to leave and to never ever call me again.... oh yeah for the next 6 months he sent flowers, cards, etc... basically he was but ay fool me 800 times shame on me... think I will take yo bitch ass back... shame on you... LOL... Sorry so long!
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  #88  
Old 08-17-2007, 09:59 AM
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i waited for two years on my husband and he never did me like any of these guys done these women, he loves me while he is out and he loves me while he is in its no different, i never had to wonder where he was or what he was doing because i was with him all the time that's why this time i am waiting on him again because i know that he loves me and its not some inmate game
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  #89  
Old 08-17-2007, 11:00 AM
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i had posted diaries of my drama... if it was rockey before he went it it will be rocky when he gets out.
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  #90  
Old 08-21-2007, 11:22 PM
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I waited... about a year and a half... and 5 months before hes about to get out.. this oct... he left some shit about rekinddled love from his ex gf from when he was 14... hes 30 now LOOOOL!! I was heartbroken... but not anymore... i love me first now.
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  #91  
Old 08-27-2007, 12:44 PM
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Wow...I can't even really begin to even vote, because I don't know which one would describe me. He hasn't really left me at this point in time but I have asked him to leave and it's been about 3 days since he's been gone. He most definitely promised many things while he was in prison, and things that he is not following at all as of today.

I know that I need to leave him permanently, because as long as I'm by his side neither he or I will move forward. I worry too much about what he's doing and not doing and he doesn't do much worrying at all when he's with me. It's when he's out there on his own and fending for himself that he really starts to see the consequences of his actions. Why anyone would have to go through so much trouble and craziness to find out that their actions are causing them more harm than good is beyond me!!!!

Anyways, he kept a pretty low profile when he came home from prison but as he gets closer to the end of his parole he is starting to take more and more risks. These risks show me that he doesn't plan on changing as he is hanging around with old friends, staying out late, drinking, playing around with stereo systems, driving without a license.....

It breaks my heart and yet there is nothing I can do about it. I figured my life would be much easier and less chaotic if I didn't have to watch him so I asked him to go. I still wonder about him and what he's doing, but not to the extent that I did when he was living here. Life is still crazy hard and I miss him tons!!! I know I'm better off without him and all his games. What I miss are those good moments...those moments where he opened up and shared his worries and concerns....times where we cuddled and laughed.....watched movies, held hands.....all the good times.

Truly enough, however, there are many more bad times than good times and tons of lies in between. Ahh...I didn't even mean to go into so much detail, but considering I'm going through this very thing right now it's kind of hard not to. I can only pray this gets easier because some days I feel as though I'm truly going to lose my mind!!!
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  #92  
Old 08-28-2007, 02:22 PM
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me and my baby have been through alot, we have broken up and gotten back 2 times, we are going on a 3rd...i cant see me with anyone else and he cant see himself with anyone else, the last time we brok up he got locked up and and i cut him off for 3 years , we just recently began dealin again, we both needed time to grow up and decide on what we really wanted....

but i did wait on him 1 time before and we broke up....but we're great now...
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  #93  
Old 09-24-2007, 12:24 AM
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Don't wait, live your life. If any of you are "penpal" wives, run for your life unless you want heartache. I waited 4 years, married in prison, brought the man home to my family and he still found the time to kick my ass, not work and find a slut to call "his own".
Yeah, I'm bitter. I'm middle aged and really thought that this was going to be the one that I could sit in the rocking chair next to. Ha. Still good friends with his mama. I call every month for a michael bashing session.
BEWARE!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't fall for the crap! They lie! They are locked up and want phone calls, money on the books, maybe an escape route for parole or just an address to go to.
I learned the hard way. Maybe y'all will, too.
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  #94  
Old 09-27-2007, 02:45 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by inmate_lover
stories like these terrify me ........
seriously..damn people can be so cruel
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  #95  
Old 10-02-2007, 11:00 AM
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dont wait run like hell i waited nearly six years soon as he got to halfway house he hardly wanted to know me, it was im not in a 6 by 4 now, now hes changed his cell phone so i cant phone him last night he kept putting the phone down on me i only wish i had run like hell about 6 years ago and put the phone down on him or better still never given him my number i agree with outlawsmate DONT WAIT they are really not worth it live for today and find someone now.
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  #96  
Old 10-05-2007, 05:18 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by outlawsmate
Don't wait, live your life. If any of you are "penpal" wives, run for your life unless you want heartache. I waited 4 years, married in prison, brought the man home to my family and he still found the time to kick my ass, not work and find a slut to call "his own".
Yeah, I'm bitter. I'm middle aged and really thought that this was going to be the one that I could sit in the rocking chair next to. Ha. Still good friends with his mama. I call every month for a michael bashing session.
BEWARE!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't fall for the crap! They lie! They are locked up and want phone calls, money on the books, maybe an escape route for parole or just an address to go to.
I learned the hard way. Maybe y'all will, too.
The really sad thing is that other people tried to tell you that for 4 years, but you absolutely refused to listen. "You don't know my man like I do...this is different..." blah blah blah. If you were on this site, most people were probably blindly "supportive" while wallowing in hugs, hearts, and flowers. If anyone on this site had the audacity to tell you and keep on telling you that you were probably messing up, they would have been continually shredded for not being supportive and even you might have complained to a moderator about it.

Yeah, you learned the hard way and you're doing the right thing now by trying to share your experience with others before it happens to them. But they won't listen because "you don't know my man like I do...this is different..." blah blah blah.

The real shame of it is not learning the first time and doing it again and again. There is a reason these guys are in prison.

I wish you all the best.
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  #97  
Old 10-05-2007, 09:20 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wabbit
The really sad thing is that other people tried to tell you that for 4 years, but you absolutely refused to listen. "You don't know my man like I do...this is different..." blah blah blah. If you were on this site, most people were probably blindly "supportive" while wallowing in hugs, hearts, and flowers. If anyone on this site had the audacity to tell you and keep on telling you that you were probably messing up, they would have been continually shredded for not being supportive and even you might have complained to a moderator about it.

Thats only half the women,,you have not been reading all the right threads because there are tons of posts where women will tell another woman in hot NY second,, to kick a dude to curb over the slightest sneeze he makes! So you must be only reading the flowery ones. I happen to read plenty where women ARE telling women to *kick him to the curb like beckham*

Yeah, you learned the hard way and you're doing the right thing now by trying to share your experience with others before it happens to them. But they won't listen because "you don't know my man like I do...this is different..." blah blah blah.

The real shame of it is not learning the first time and doing it again and again. There is a reason these guys are in prison.Well if she is doing it again and again then its not the Guy in prison,,now is it? Its not like he went out and picked her.

I wish you all the best.
You just have to watch your delivery thats all because after all you ARE on a PRISON web site ... but people do tell people on PTO to run,jump, duck and hide,,,however you are right its the woman who has to listen but people ARE telling and giving advice especially if a person asks.
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Old 10-12-2007, 08:13 AM
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My ex got out Feb. 21st of this yr, on April 15th he came to my house to spend the day with me and the baby on his day off and I took him to the ER for his constant chest pain, later that night once he was home I saw a comment on his page from some girl saying how she missed him and wondered if he was home from the hospital-which how would she even know he was there at my house all day? So not even 2 mo's after he got out he told me he was seeing someone else and her family behind my back and now I'm stuck being a single mom and Nov. 6th is coming up and it would've been our 2 yr anniversary :-(

He cheats on the girl with me, I think he is using her for money because she "buys him whatever he needs" she told me and I have this feeling he isn't even working-read my other post. I cry just about everyday and it kills me to see him when he comes to pick up/drop off the baby, I dunno what to do.........Help :-(
Connie

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  #99  
Old 10-13-2007, 01:43 AM
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connie im really sorry to hear what your going through it must really hurt, i cant tell you what to do as theres a baby involved but i would get out of this you dont need this,if hes cheating on you with this one, when she goes who will he cheat on you with then? love and very big hugs sue xo
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Old 10-13-2007, 01:52 AM
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connie been reading some of your other threads your better off without this man try to be strong i know it hurts but you can do it as someone said to me if you can stand up you can get up love sue.x
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