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When the Relationship is Over... This forum is about discussing your thoughts, feelings and issues now that you and your incarcerated (or formerly incarcerated) loved one are no longer together. (This forum is NOT for bashing - please read the rules before posting.)

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  #26  
Old 12-04-2017, 06:43 PM
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a.rare.love a.rare.love is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jadah View Post
Brit-
You said you've been his queen for 9 years.
He educated himself and bettered himself while he was down. Look at what love can do.
Maybe he wouldn't have done that if you didn't love unconditionally. That is a gift you gave of your own free will. You made the world a better place. You demonstrated how to love unconditionally. Not everyone can do that.

Don't forget, you are either protected during disaster or prevented from experiencing it.



Yes this hurts, but would you rather pick up the pieces of your broken heart or a destroyed life?

You loved a man unconditionally whom many would have seen as unworthy. You helped bring him pure worth. Be at peace with what you've done.
This too shall pass.

I agree on many points of this great post. ICAM.
Adios.
__________________
#TAAS ...(There are always signs.)
-
Do NOT ignore the signs. Don't let the "I love u's,cloud your better judgement."
-
Do not give your "all" to some guy who is not showing you through "action."
-
Remember, he is #J.A.M.("Just another man.)

"DON'T let him break you.".God knows what es best for all of us."#Smile #LiveWell #DontSettle.
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  #27  
Old 12-04-2017, 06:52 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Britrdazahead13 View Post
*Update
So Saturday Oct 14 it will be two months since Mr. got paroled. We have been talking frequently this week since "she" is out of town. No doubt in my mind she thinks she and he are forever and this is their relationship. He is working call in for the teamsters. Is getting very few hours (even though the pay is nice). He is talking about getting a truck and becoming independent on where and how he goes places. He says he hates relying on her. Cherishes his free time away from her... (she really is a pecking hen)... guess I would be too if I felt vibes that he loved someone else. I think the truck is a step in the right direction, helping him become independent of her. IDk... just living from day to day and trying not to overthink things.
Appreciate all of the advice from all of you. Its all sound and you have the right to feel the way you do, but for 9 years I have been this man's queen. He has always treated me very good and I simply am in a whirlwind now. I don't know how long it will last and am grateful I cannot see into the future. All I know is he is telling me he loves me deeply and misses me terribly.


I am praying you're going to wake up.Show him you're BETTER than this.I will be making this post long.I am concerned for you.
-

First off:

A peasant, maybe.Sure.
A QUEEN, most certainly not.you're NOT his queen chica.
This man is a joke. Just how i feel.He is wrong on many levels to for doing what he is doing.Why would YOU settle for him."

-

Chica.(a QUEEN) es some 1 who live by/carry herself as a QUEEN, know her worth, does not take any sh---t from some dude and succeed with or without a man. A Queen would never be treated the way he is treating you NOR allow it. QUEEN es a word too many (imo) in my opinion loosely use as if it's FIT for everyone.Sorry.It's not. If you are a Queen, trust me, you're going to NOT be sitting around allowing some dude to:

>Mistreat you.
>Lie to you.
>Use/take advantage of you,play with your emotions and treat you like you're not worthy of #RealAmor ... of real love and most importantly respect/loyalty/honor.

-
This man is clearly using you/have mis-treated you to no end.How dare he is what i usually say! This time. I can't. Only premise on, it's based on because you're NOT precluding him from doing so.

Note: So clear he is playing you and i hate with a thousand suns to see it happen but you're allowing it so i can't say "how dare he."
-
and:

As soon as he hung up on me IF that type of disrespect
happen to me,
i am one who would've made sure he lose mi number by:

>Changin' house or cell fone on him, and simply Kept it movin'."

You're a wonderful WONDERFUL kind woman.Do you not know your worth chica?Please find it.Get some psychological help.I pray for you after reading this.Or "some women"like the drama.Not realizin' it is clearly un-healthy for you."
-
I know you're loving this guy, for some reason and trust me...
I get it. However, once he was able to "tap into your life" and see/feel how you are toward him, he began to take advantage of you.This jerk is not the man for you.HOWEVER, a man as mi parents say(still married 61 yrs.)still say, a "man" will only do to you, what you're letting him do.
-
I wish you so much luck to 1 day soon, to finally just realize and wake up and keep it movin' as life es way too short to "settle for such abuse"and IMO that is exactly what is happening here. I've been there ... NEVER again.

-
I love mi self too much to "settle."

-
I hope you realize, before too much more time of your life pass by, without #REAL Tru-Love. Good luck. Hugs blessings
.
__________________
#TAAS ...(There are always signs.)
-
Do NOT ignore the signs. Don't let the "I love u's,cloud your better judgement."
-
Do not give your "all" to some guy who is not showing you through "action."
-
Remember, he is #J.A.M.("Just another man.)

"DON'T let him break you.".God knows what es best for all of us."#Smile #LiveWell #DontSettle.

Last edited by a.rare.love; 12-04-2017 at 07:03 PM..
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  #28  
Old 12-04-2017, 06:56 PM
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My heart is breaking for you. I can feel your pain. I am so sorry for the pain you are in.. If you ever want to talk pm me ok.

In time, the pain will subside.

Sending you hugs..
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  #29  
Old 12-13-2017, 11:01 PM
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This is the saddest thread I've ever read on prisontalk and I've been here a few years

You've centered your world around a man who is in a relationship with another woman. Like you, I used to get used and manipulated a lot by men, until I met my husband. Now I know what love is actually supposed to feel like and I wish I could give you that feeling. I could tel you for hours about how he doesn't love you and how you are fighting a losing battle- but the truth is that you don't want better because you don't know better. I feel so sad for you because I think you will waste another 9 years or at least until he's done with you for good. But if there is any part of you open to advice, here is what helped me move on from love tragedies:

1. Lose weight. Your knees are bad so likely you are very overweight. Start calorie counting on a paleo diet and swimming and weight lifting. When you feel horrible on the inside, feeling good on the inside will seep in and increase your confidence. It will also help you with mental health issues.

2. I honestly don't think you will do this step. But it is cutting contact completely. Block all social media, change your phone number and don't stay in contact with any of his friends or family. No apologies. No explanations are necessary. He's with someone else now. Just disappear on him. He has your address memorized so he can write you a letter if he really wants to say something.

3. Get a life outside of him. Get out of your house. Go to church. Volunteer. Go to a Meetup-dot-com in your area and stay busy. Make friends. Force yourself to be happy.

I don't know you but I love you and I am really sorry that this happened. God bless you.
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  #30  
Old 12-14-2017, 01:25 PM
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My heart hurts for you Brit. I understand why it is difficult for you to let this man go, but I think it is necessary for your own peace of mind and happiness in the long run.

IF someone truly loves you, they do not make excuses for why they cannot be with you. Granted, he might have needed help upon release, but he could have gotten help from other sources. Hooking up with the ex seems like a cop-out to me. A cheap and easy shortcut. Love requires work and commitment, and I do not see him offering either to be with you at this time.

Stop waiting for the scraps he's tossing your way. Set up the boundaries. Tell him when he has cleaned up his life and is ready to be a man for you, then and only then should he contact you. If he isn't able or willing to do that, he isn't worth your time.

You think this treatment of you is acceptable because you are disabled and aren't able to offer him anything in order to help him get on his feet. Quit that stinkin' thinkin'. That's bullshit. You have had plenty to offer over the past 9 years and plenty more to offer now. Stop selling yourself short. You deserve better than this.

A Queen doesn't stop being a Queen because she's disabled. At this point, the King should offer to carry his Queen. The way she did while he was locked up.

*Hugs* I know it hurts to let go, but sometimes it is necessary to let someone go in order to open the way for something greater.
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  #31  
Old 03-11-2018, 11:36 AM
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this dude probably needs to get his arse to work and quit milking women
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  #32  
Old 03-11-2018, 05:21 PM
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I am so sorry. You are truly an amazing person for sticking by him for as long as you did, a truly STRONG person at that. I know it hurts right now but this too shall pass! Just know you did nothing wrong, just know you should never blame yourself for anything that has happened. I know it's easy to do that sometimes. I admit, sometimes I blame myself for things that are completely out of my control. It's all apart of being human. You got this, I promise.
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  #33  
Old 03-11-2018, 05:33 PM
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Any update on this situation?
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  #34  
Old 05-13-2018, 05:31 AM
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I`m really sad about youre situation. But still, be a strong person. Take your own plans and goal on first play. Remember, there is alot of good ppl. You will find youre human.
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