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When the Relationship is Over... This forum is about discussing your thoughts, feelings and issues now that you and your incarcerated (or formerly incarcerated) loved one are no longer together. (This forum is NOT for bashing - please read the rules before posting.)

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  #1  
Old 11-29-2017, 03:09 PM
Stargazer1990 Stargazer1990 is offline
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Default Feeling hurt

I feel like a fraud posting here after posting just hours ago about hotels in Florence ..
I spoke to my friend tonight we have been speaking for around 6 months I found out a German lady was writing to him .he told me he wasn't writing to anyone else and the only reason he got my details was because someone else him them but we spoke and I thought we had something .. Ruben admitted he was sending cards to someone else , I hung up the phone I'm so hurt and angry how stupid i have been starting to care for someone then finding out he's lied .
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Old 11-29-2017, 03:13 PM
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I'm sorry.
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Old 11-29-2017, 03:18 PM
Stargazer1990 Stargazer1990 is offline
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So am i ... im angry and upset he's tried to call 5 times I'm not answering he's played me like a fool this is a lesson learned
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Old 11-29-2017, 03:21 PM
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How did you find out about the German lady?
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Old 11-29-2017, 03:28 PM
Stargazer1990 Stargazer1990 is offline
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It was a pen pal thing I saw after he told me to look up his convictions , he's still trying to call right now I'm not answering I feel hurt I have a disabled child who I spoke about a lot to him ,
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Old 11-29-2017, 03:30 PM
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Have you asked him about her?
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Old 11-29-2017, 03:48 PM
Stargazer1990 Stargazer1990 is offline
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Yes he said he sends her grandchildren cards , before he said he didn't write to no one at all when I asked him he stuttered I feel like an idiot really upset tho he's charming I'll give him that
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Old 11-29-2017, 03:54 PM
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He lied, you have a right to be mad. If you think you're being betrayed in a bigger way, trust your gut. I believe you are right to not answer the phone. Can you contact the german woman? I actually found B's ex by chance on here when I was in the state and then prison specific area of the site. If she is from another country it won't be hard to find her If she is there. Otherwise I'd give yourself time to cool down and then write and make your wishes clear, whether it be he only talk to you or explain why he lied, etc.
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Old 11-29-2017, 03:55 PM
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Hi there I am sorry to hear you are going through this. Were you friends or in a relationship? Either way if he has lied that is a huge red flag. There is nothing to lie about if he has a platonic friendship with this lady.
I think you need to consider moving on lying is never a good sign.
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Old 11-29-2017, 06:54 PM
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I'm sorry he lied to you, but it is a very good thing that you found out when you did.
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Old 11-29-2017, 07:14 PM
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I'm sorry he lied and that you're so hurt. BUT, you gave a person a second chance. You offered your friendship with no strings attached. You had no expectations.You were honest and pure.
Its a real shame he an't recognize the gift you gave but you have everything to be proud of. Not everyone can even consider writing an inmate.
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Old 11-30-2017, 04:25 PM
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Default Dont feel bad

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stargazer1990 View Post
I feel like a fraud posting here after posting just hours ago about hotels in Florence ..
I spoke to my friend tonight we have been speaking for around 6 months I found out a German lady was writing to him .he told me he wasn't writing to anyone else and the only reason he got my details was because someone else him them but we spoke and I thought we had something .. Ruben admitted he was sending cards to someone else , I hung up the phone I'm so hurt and angry how stupid i have been starting to care for someone then finding out he's lied .
Men lie! Mine lied for 9 years!! I'm sure there's someone out there just for you... dont feel bad
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Old 12-04-2017, 08:12 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stargazer1990 View Post
So am i ... im angry and upset he's tried to call 5 times I'm not answering he's played me like a fool this is a lesson learned


I don't know, all what happened or how you're learning of the other woman.

However:
1.)sometimes to take the call 1x shall help.
2.)tell him 1x how this has made you feel/then tell him get lost, ruben. you are no good for me. let the german lady deal with his messy dysfunctional no good jailbird life.He do not deserve you.
-

What i do know is something like this, i am strong enough to just see it for what it was, is and keep it movin. I am not going to even waste 1 tear or 1 day on a man EVER again. .NGTH.(Not going to happen.)Heck, i feel so good just thinkin' about how easy it would be for me to move on after i suffer so much for a long time. I refuse to do it again.
NO MAN is worth it, period.
-

You personally can do so much better,only if you want better."


>Move on. Don't wait. A whole entire world out there with a real relationship and a real love/or heck, just a great pen pal waitin for ya! Forget about him.
The guy is a jerk.
He is a big liar.
He is not worthy of you.

Be sad for a lil while.Sure. Not too long.because the more you're soakin/crying/sad over Ruben, you're letting the chance of 1 day meeting a great
"mature" and loyal man, pass you by. Let Rube keep the german lady. He is now her problem now. SMILE for a minute as you read and think about what i just said. He is HER problem now. You're free of what would've continued and that is being with a loser.No good man. You deserve better.Remember that.
-
Hugs and Blessings.
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CONSISTENCY,communication"is key.Without action, it just isn't real...

Last edited by a.rare.love; 12-04-2017 at 08:16 PM..
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Old 12-04-2017, 09:04 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stargazer1990 View Post
It was a pen pal thing I saw after he told me to look up his convictions , he's still trying to call right now I'm not answering I feel hurt I have a disabled child who I spoke about a lot to him ,
I'm so sorry this has happened...I'm still not clear...How did you find out ? How would you find out he's talking to someone else by looking up his convictions?
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