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Extended Family For the grandparents, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews and cousins of inmates.

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Old 07-18-2019, 05:07 PM
TexBlueBell TexBlueBell is offline
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Default Reconnecting with "cousin"?

Hi y'all! I hope this is the right forum. My childhood best friend is like my cousin. Our grandparents were best friends, our dads are best friends, and we spent practically every moment of our childhood together. I call his dad my uncle and he does the same with mine. He's even named after my daddy (which is also my son's name). He was sentenced back in 2013 for a crime against children (injury to a child). At the time, I had a small baby and was pregnant and couldn't even think about his crime or him. Now, I would like to send him a letter to somewhat reconnect. Should I just send a letter out of the blue? Would that be weird?! And for some reason, I feel like I should clarify that I'm happily married and just want to connect as a friend. Thanks for any advice!!
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Old 07-19-2019, 05:32 AM
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I think being honest would be a good way to go. Send a letter - tell him the shock was a bit overwhelming at first, but the shock has worn off and you miss him. He'll be thrilled to get mail, especially from someone he probably thought was lost to him. Tell him you're reaching out because you'd like to reconnect with your cousin and then go into how things have been going since he fell.

I'm all but certain you'll get a letter back from him as fast as he can write one and send it. Be prepared for him to express disbelief that you have changed your mind. Some of the guys inside feel such a sense of shame, that they are bad people and don't deserve to have anyone care about them, that they are suspicious of anyone who attempts to be nice. He may not do this, but be prepared for it anyway. As we say: prepare for the worst, hope for the best. Some guys express their feelings of shame by lashing out, so if you get a letter back saying "You abandoned me!" what he's probably saying is "I feel like I don't deserve to be loved."
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