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Raising Children with Parents in Prison For the Parent left behind with children AND for the Children that have a parent inside. Discussion of unique challenges facing this group!

View Poll Results: Was ur babys daddy locked up when his baby was born?
yes 389 80.87%
no 53 11.02%
shortly after the birth 39 8.11%
Voters: 481. You may not vote on this poll

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  #151  
Old 05-18-2012, 08:57 AM
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Originally Posted by missingmitchsr View Post
Was just curious as to how many women have had to go through childbirth without their baby daddys? I did and it was scary ,lonely and very stressfull. I am sure that there are more than just me to share this expierence. What did he think or how did he feel?
My husband got picked up because of a failure to appear, but he also had not visited his probation officer in a VERY, VERY long time. So, About a month after my mother passed away while I was 8 1/2 months pregnant he got locked up for 45 days. Having out son by myself was one of the most saddest things I've ever experienced. He is now BACK in jail, and I'm alone with two kids.
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  #152  
Old 05-21-2012, 12:38 AM
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Well my hubby didnt miss our first child but was locked up 3 months after she was born. She was born with spinal bifida and other genetic issues. she was hospitalized for two months after birth. when she came home she was 2 months and 2 weeks old. let me tell you lots of work, medications, feeding tubes, catheters. Then 3 months came and my hubby got locked up and all the work was on my shoulders alone. Hardest thing ever is dealing with that alone. Very rewarding but very hard i would never wish it on anyone
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  #153  
Old 05-23-2012, 07:43 PM
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Im currently 5 months pregnant with our second child I first son I'd only 1 yrs this had been stressful for me I cry all the time ... He has been locked up since March & I can't imagine doing this without him but he hasn't been sentenced so far he was offered 8 yrs & I'm trying to stay prayerful for a lighter sentence Glad Bless
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  #154  
Old 05-25-2012, 01:59 PM
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I did and it was not a good feeling..I got pregnant right before he got locked up and found out a few months later to say I was Freaking out was an understatement I had just turned 16 all alone and scared of how the hell I was gonna raise a baby I was still in high school what was I gonna tell my parents how was I gonna tell him would he believe me would he doubt her I was going crazy my parents were Pissed but stuck by me he never doubted her he was just a lil upset I waited so long to tell him my pregnancy I had no clue what was normal and what wasn't but i just went with the flow and got through it my delivery i didnt even know i was in labor so when i realized i was beyond scared but luckily my mom was there for me after she was born I did it all alone went to school worked payed her babysitter bought every diaper every wipe every meal everything i was depressed frustrated alone and upset but still had to get things done so got my own place and started getting on my feet when I was 17 and just kept going from there he was so upset because he missed out on EVERYTHING he didn't get out until she was 6 years old! But was there anyway he could be she's an absolute daddys girl even though she couldn't see him until she was 2 she adores him
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  #155  
Old 05-29-2012, 02:06 PM
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Champs' Girl, thank you for posting that. My child's father has been locked away since I was 4 months pregnant. He missed the birth, her first words, her first steps, first birthday etc. but I kept him posted by sending him letters and pictures. His brother passed away and he was allowed to be escorted to the funeral so it was there that he first saw our daughter who was about 15 months old at the time. After I continued to visit him at the Trusty Camp, I felt comfortable enough to bring her and so I did. That gave them a chance to get to know each other and I don't regret it. Since then we have gotten back together, he has made parole and will be home next week. She has been asking about Daddy weeks now. She is only 2, but I think she knows he is on his way home or something.
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  #156  
Old 05-29-2012, 10:04 PM
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Just had our son ten days ago, my man still has 6 months left!!!
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  #157  
Old 05-29-2012, 10:12 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by abbyhailey
Just had our son ten days ago, my man still has 6 months left!!!
How long did he get? My man got 13months went in when I was like two n won't be out until this aug n my baby will be 6 1/2months. But I send him a lot of pics he has like a stack of pics of our daughter. So hes kind of sorta seeing her grow but it's still so hard
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  #158  
Old 05-29-2012, 10:23 PM
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I was 6 months pregnant when he was locked up and had our son in March. It was really scary going through labor without him. He's not my 1st, I have a 16 yr old daughter too, but I wasn't alone then..this time the only person who was with me in the hosp. was his mom and I had a c-section again. He's seen our son 4 times since he was born (he's 2 1/2 mo. old) and I'm fortunate for that, but it breaks my heart knowing he's going to miss most of his 1st year, he won't be home till about a month before his 1st birthday
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  #159  
Old 05-29-2012, 11:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Missing_Him&lt View Post

How long did he get? My man got 13months went in when I was like two n won't be out until this aug n my baby will be 6 1/2months. But I send him a lot of pics he has like a stack of pics of our daughter. So hes kind of sorta seeing her grow but it's still so hard
He got 12 months, mine gets out in jan of next year. & even though he gets pics it's still so hard.... I know exactly what u are going through.
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  #160  
Old 05-30-2012, 12:43 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by abbyhailey

He got 12 months, mine gets out in jan of next year. & even though he gets pics it's still so hard.... I know exactly what u are going through.
Wow seems like our stories r very similar. Well on the positive side their sentence isn't so long. How far along we're u when he went in?
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  #161  
Old 05-30-2012, 07:04 PM
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My hubby got arrested when our daughter was about 4 weeks old and I don't know yet how long we will have to wait. It is a terrible pain, and I get so jealous seeing other families walking around, completely clueless to how much this stuff sucks.
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  #162  
Old 06-07-2012, 07:54 PM
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I am pregnant with our third child, who is due August 12th. My husband is set to be released October 20th. Words can not describe how painful it is that he will miss her birth. I'm also nervous about going through labor and delivery without him, because he's always been my rock.
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  #163  
Old 06-10-2012, 02:16 PM
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He got locked up when our youngest was six months old. He went to a half way house when she was four years old. He got sent back to prison four weeks ago and I'm eight weeks pregnant. I have only seen him once since he's been there and i haven't told him that I'm prengnant yet.

Last edited by 4tifts; 06-10-2012 at 02:20 PM..
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  #164  
Old 06-18-2012, 09:46 PM
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My oldest son became very attached to my second son's father long before my second son was even a thought of a possibility for us. Now - my second son's turning 19months old tomorrow and his dad has been in jail since march 17th (this round).

I just found out that his 4th and 5th offenses finally came through the system and now his cases are felonies and not just misdemeanors. At any rate, I found out I was pregnant with his second child on March 26th after a full week of having baby dreams... I only recently sent him a letter stating that I was pregnant again with his second child. He will more than likely not respond to the letter.... he wasn't a very good dad to his son after he started getting in trouble w/ the law and he became very hateful towards my first son..... So needless to say - he probably won't even care about this one

This one will be born probably early December and it's dad is definitely going to still be in jail if not transferred to a prison by then. He's on his 5th OWI offense and they were all in less than a year. I know he's hosed - I just hope/pray that he's able to get some help while he's in there....

I thought for my second son that he wasn't going to be there for his birth - but he was. And - he insisted on holding him first after I was finished nursing him! I thought he really had changed but then he got in trouble with his OWI's and that was the end of all the good things he was doing for me, our son and my other son....
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  #165  
Old 06-18-2012, 10:17 PM
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I had to go through it alone, even though he didn't get locked up until two weeks later. Well now its four long years later and he's still gone
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  #166  
Old 06-21-2012, 10:31 AM
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Our son is now 2months old and my man has been locked up for the last 11 months! He want to see is son so bad but he dose not want to meet his son behing glass so he dose not want me to bring him to see him. I send him pics of his son every week. My man said it would be way to hard on him to see him and not beable to hold him and kiss him and i totaly can understand that
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  #167  
Old 07-11-2012, 12:28 AM
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i been on my own since day one my baby daddy got locked up 2weeks before i found out i was 5weeks prego my daughter now 2 and shes starting to ask questions like wheres my daddy at when is he coming home dude that breaks my heart how am i suppose to tell my only child that her daddy never coming home she know who he is cause ever since she was born i would take her every weeked all 4days to see him rain or shine that paid off welll but its really hard being a single mom on ur own
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  #168  
Old 07-21-2012, 04:42 AM
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He got arrested on a sunday and 3 days later I find out im 1 month preganant, when i found out i was devastated knowing i would go through my first pregnancy all alone and without the joy of having him around. i told him on our first visit behind glass, he was happy he cried so much, never seen him happier. i had many people advise me to terminate the prenancy that i wasn't aware of what i was gonna go through being a single mom while having somone you love incarcerated. Terminating my pregnancy NEVER crossed my mind!! We were expecting him to do 25 years, he lucked out and took a deal of 6 and was given half time!! it was painful and stressful going through a pregnancy all alone, not having him touch my belly, go with me to the doctor appointments, feel her move and kick around in my belly and worse be there when she was born. i had my daughter early and had a few scares with her, now shes as healthy as an ox!! He met her for the first time when she was 4 months old Our daughter is now going to be 2 years old in 3 months, and hes coming home in 6 months! she knows her daddy and loves him so much you can't even imagine. its been tough, a real struggle doing everything alone, the diaper changes, the crying, the tantrums but my daughter is my everything and we all can not wait for him to be home and continue our lives as a family.
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  #169  
Old 07-21-2012, 11:04 PM
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I got pregnant while my man was out on bond awaiting sentencing. He went back in at 24 weeks, and I am now 34 weeks due first week of Sept. He will be home 6 to 8 months after the baby is born, but it is still really hard. This is my first, we have been involved for 8 years and we are really close. I have visited every other week up until now- he just got moved 8hrs away, and I am due in 6 weeks, so my visit today will sadly be the last for a while. Additionally, he doesn't want me to bring the baby to a visit. He wants his 13yr old daughter there when he first meets his son, and her school and extra curricular activities make a weekend trip seem unfair. Plus he is too emotional. He doesn't want the baby out in cold weather upstate NY.

Sigh, he will tell me if he changes his mind, but I have to respect his feelings. It will hurt like hell to meet your new child, only to have to say good bye.

It is a lonely experience and not fair for any of us.
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  #170  
Old 07-23-2012, 11:20 AM
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im 8 months pregnant and he wont be here for the baby. but atleast i only have to raise the baby two months alone
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  #171  
Old 07-23-2012, 03:53 PM
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Originally Posted by teinesamoa View Post
im 8 months pregnant and he wont be here for the baby. but atleast i only have to raise the baby two months alone
This is me. I'm 9 months pregnant, due any day now really (August 12), but he is due home in October, provided everything goes the way we are being told.
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  #172  
Old 07-24-2012, 02:08 PM
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My bf got locked up a mon th ago and our daughter is due in 7 weeks. He is facing 10-25...

Just in that small time it has been very difficult
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  #173  
Old 08-01-2012, 10:43 PM
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i found out i was pregnant shortly after he got locked up and it really sucked having to go through my whole pregnancy, labor and delivery without him. i was glad that he got to see my big belly in person and feel the baby kick. but my worst fear came true when i went into labor at night and delivered the baby without him knowing anything had happened. he has to long left to do so we are going to just have to make them special so that he isn't left out or missing any milestones and they know he is their daddy and will always love them and be there for them
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  #174  
Old 08-19-2012, 01:59 PM
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Default i also delivered while husband was away

Quote:
Originally Posted by missingmitchsr View Post
Was just curious as to how many women have had to go through childbirth without their baby daddys? I did and it was scary ,lonely and very stressfull. I am sure that there are more than just me to share this expierence. What did he think or how did he feel?

luckily it wasn't my first so that wasn't bad but this time he was supposed to be there because my x never was there when i had my first 2. it was hard but i would hold the phone to my tummy and her lil ear to hear his voice and recognize. he seen her for the first time at 5 months and she had a load waiting for him. he came home just before her first bday and they are bonded to this day like super glue (well until last monday when he went back for voprobation and got 6.5) she is doing good with it she is 7 now but we still hope to have another one day with both of us in the birthing room
good luck it will work out
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  #175  
Old 08-19-2012, 04:59 PM
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im 8 months pregnant and he wont be here for the baby. but atleast i only have to raise the baby two months alone
I was 9 months when my fiancé got arrested. Two weeks early our son came n 4months later he got to hold him for the first time. Take lots of pix, have someone video tape the birth and write often. He called right before I went into labor then right after I gave birth. I never heard a man cry but we both cried and it's magical when your guy comes home n sees his child. It's gonna melt his heart when he gets the photos aww u got me smiling mixed emotions.
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