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Raising Children with Parents in Prison For the Parent left behind with children AND for the Children that have a parent inside. Discussion of unique challenges facing this group!

View Poll Results: Was ur babys daddy locked up when his baby was born?
yes 389 80.87%
no 53 11.02%
shortly after the birth 39 8.11%
Voters: 481. You may not vote on this poll

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  #101  
Old 08-19-2011, 02:37 PM
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Originally Posted by LadyMJ View Post
My Childish father has been locked up for three months now and I'm six months pregnant.... we though he was coming home at the end of this month but it turns out the district attorney is not letting him out because of his past/record....His court date is December 13 ;-( which is also my due date.. I am very said because that means I might have to give birth alone.. I am from Seattle, WA and all my family is up there.. I don't have any family in Baton Rouge ;-(... And I know that his family doesn't to much like me because they think I got him locked up... long story short he was trippin out in the parking lot by my house and started beating on me.. neighbors called the police... he has been locked up ever since... Everyone thinks I'm stupid cuz I still love him.. but truth is he NEVER tried to hit me before I dont know what set him off that night.. should I just leave him alone and move on?? Am I stupid?? I'm real confused and alone right now.. really wish he could be there to see his son...
some places will allow a farlow for the birth of thier child. U might want to check on that where he is at. My husband couldnt because he has a fugutive hold but had he not had the hold they would have released him on farlow for the birth. That means he comes to the birth but has to return after. Each place is different and somedont allow and with it being a violent charge I am not sure but I would check/.
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  #102  
Old 08-20-2011, 09:30 AM
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Originally Posted by Patricks_Wifey View Post
been there done that 3 out of four of my babies were born while their bio dad was locked up and unfortunately me and my new hubby plan on a baby before he comes home because sadly both our clocks are ticking away and it may not be feesable to wait until hes home
Patrickwifey, im 36 and married last year. We talked about having kids (both our first) but he will not be out until 6/2013. I will b 38 n dont want to wait that long... He wants children very much but wants to b part of the delivery, financially im ok but my delay is his absence and scared of going thru post partum dep... Since i already cry a lot because i miss him. Its good to know im not alone. Thank you!
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  #103  
Old 08-26-2011, 11:42 PM
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My bf was locked up 9 days before our daughter was born! It was very hard for me bcuz he was with me through the whole entire pregnancy then he wasn't even able to see her be born! At first it was super hard & i was depressed in the beginning, not only was he gone but now i had to take care of this new little life that we made, all by myself! While he was in county we went to see him every week! Even though it was only for an hour it felt so good & he loved seeing her! Our little girl just turned 6 months old & now has her first tooth coming in! I actually just got done writing him a letter telling him that! It's so exciting to see her grow! & she is helping time go by super quick! (: idk what i would do without her now! We haven't seen him since July 4 that was out last visit then the next day they moved him to MCCX where he is currently incarcerated. He just got through with classification.. They are moving him to Turney Center its soooo far away. So im hoping to get to see him atleast once before they move him! (: he was sentenced 22 months! So i just keep telling myself it wont be too much longer! & he will be back home with us! CANT WAIT.! <3
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  #104  
Old 10-11-2011, 08:22 AM
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My husband was just arrested 5 days ago and our son is about to be born on Nov 4. Hopefully he'll be able to get a bond and will be there when the baby is born.
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  #105  
Old 10-18-2011, 12:15 PM
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He got locked up 6 weeks before she was born. She will be between 1-2 when her gets out depending on how much of his time he actually serves.
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  #106  
Old 10-19-2011, 01:13 PM
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We had a 41/2 month old daughter and I was 11/2 months pregnant when he was taken from us . He recently had court on 10/12 and he was sentenced to 30 months in prison. My daughter is going to be 11 months on 11/2/2011 and my due date is 1/14/2012, its hard to have to deal with him not been here for our daughter and its even more sad that he will not be here for the birth of our 2nd daughter, but I am trying to be strong for us because once he gets out we plan on taking advantage of all the time we will have together.
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  #107  
Old 11-09-2011, 09:09 PM
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with my first he went to jail when i was 7weeks and didnt get out til he was 6 months old. but was in and out for 2 1/2 yrs of his life. With our second he was home my entire pregnancy and labor but went back 6 weeks after she was born and still has a litlle over 2 months left. She will be a year old next month and he is missing yet another 1st bday and all the fun stuff in between like crawling, walking, teeth, talking. He is supposed to get released exactly 1 month after her bday. Just missed our oldest's 4th bday too. And mine. I love him but this is getting ridiculous.
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  #108  
Old 11-11-2011, 07:20 PM
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so my bf went to jail when i was 8 months pregnant it was really hard for me to go through labor by myself and now my baby girl is 3 months old and her dad is going to be locked up for 5 and a half years it has been really hard for me going through all of this especially since i get absolutely no support from anyone in my family the only person who understands is his sister i have found myself to be really depressed most of the time and i dont know what to do like i said its been really hard on me
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  #109  
Old 12-08-2011, 03:53 PM
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My hubby went to jail when i was about 2mnths pregnant,i am 6˝ now. My due date is on march,idk if hes gonna be out by then. I really wish and hope he is cuz j know how sad and hard if would be for both of us to not be together kn that day! Ive been so strong all this time for us and i hope me being wihout him on the day my child is born doesnt hit me hard,its so sad though,that he cant be by my side to feel him move,or when i found out the gender,it suks but as i say im a strong person,and i do it cuz i look fwd to having a baby,it makes me so happy!
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  #110  
Old 12-08-2011, 06:53 PM
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I was 5 month pregnant when he was detained. I was supposed to go see him that day, my sister went instead with pictures on hand. He called me and heard her cry and he cried too. He did not get to hold her until she was 2 months. We just went to see him fro Thanksgiving and he held her all 4 days we go to visit. He misses her alot and feels horrible that he is not here to enjoy every little milestone. She is 7 month old now and I told him "she wont remember" he replied "but I will" He has regrets and knows he can't replace these moments. I encourage him there will be better times and he can change all her diapers which will be extra smelly since she will be eating everything. He laughs...and I am serious.
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  #111  
Old 12-10-2011, 08:50 AM
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Default I had my son while my husband was locked up

My husband was due home in April. He never came, instead he went to prison straight from a mission. I did my entire pregnancy by myself while working 50 hours a week, my son was born 8-30-11 and I had a c section. My husband missed everything, my son is now three months old and we are still alone. We flew two weeks ago to go see him and he met his baby boy for the first time it was very emotiOnal. My heart is somewhat broken that he is missing everything. I continue to hope and pray he makes it thru and back to his family.
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  #112  
Old 12-15-2011, 04:20 PM
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Default missing birth

Well, he almost missed the birth of our first daughter because he was all strung out on drugs. He went to jail and i bonded him out because it was a few weeks before i was due. Then he went and disappeared agin. He came home the night i went into labor. It was crazy we were going to bed and i was like I think im having contractions and I was like i think we have to go to the hospital. He was like are you sure? (cuz shoot i wasnt sure) Well, I got up and my water broke and I was like Oh yeah Im sure! He then kept apoligizing for everything, the whole way to the hospital. God was looking out cuz he got to help me with the delivery and everything.

He straightened up and was clean till this year he relapsed.
Our daughter just turned two and we have another on the way. His in rehab right now. Which thank God because he was looking at 10yrs for violating his probation. He asked his lawyer to help him get rehab and I'm glad the judge did. She told the da they should have sent him there a long time ago.
His going to miss this one being born but I belive God has his reasons. Mabey this is another thing to make him relize what else his got to loose and miss out on.
This will be the first time his gone to rehab. Before he thought he could just do it on his own and he would but only for like a year or year and a half. I'm guestamating that the baby will be 3 or 4mths before he comes home. Unless he stays longer 6or7mths. But he will have contact visits with her till then too.
I'm glad this threads up cuz I can relate and knowing you other girls did it, I know i can too. Even though this really sucks!
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  #113  
Old 12-15-2011, 09:09 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by missingmitchsr
Was just curious as to how many women have had to go through childbirth without their baby daddys? I did and it was scary ,lonely and very stressfull. I am sure that there are more than just me to share this expierence. What did he think or how did he feel?
I just had our first together 11 13 11 he should be out soon but wanted to be here for his first born i had family but wished my husband was here when i had him he was happy his son was doing well but sad he wasn't here with me and the baby
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  #114  
Old 12-30-2011, 12:32 AM
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My Daughter's Father went in when i was 8 weeks pregnant... I was 19 and by myself... it was one of the hardest things i ever had to do.. He is still currently incarcerated.. and wont be home until may of 2013.. my daughter is 6 and will be 8 when he comes home... He didnt get to hold her until she was 6 months old because federal holding doesnt allow contact visits... i take my daughter at least twice a month to see her dad .. & ive always been honest with her when she asks questions .. she knows her dad is in jail .. and still loves him soo much .. she even made her own scrap book from the things he sends her!
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  #115  
Old 12-30-2011, 12:53 AM
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I was angry and sad all at the same time because my fiancé was locked up during my whole pregnancy and wasnt there for the birth of our daughter either(first child together) my mom was the only one there when she was born and cut the cord. He gets out in June of 2012. Our daughter will be 9 or 10 months when he is released. I know what you ladies are going through or have been through and I will keep you all in my prayers as this is a very difficult thing to go through. Especially since my son's father wasn't there for his birth either due to his own personal choice so to go through it again is really tough knowing that my baby girl's dad actually wanted to be there.
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  #116  
Old 01-01-2012, 12:13 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by missingmitchsr View Post
Was just curious as to how many women have had to go through childbirth without their baby daddys? I did and it was scary ,lonely and very stressfull. I am sure that there are more than just me to share this expierence. What did he think or how did he feel?
Well I found out I was pregnant shortly before Thanksgiving. It was a shock because I was with my ex-husband for 6 1/2 years and was told that I would probably need fertility meds to conceive (which it turns out was not ture). My boyfriend was happy about the baby, but when we found out we already knew he was going to get sentenced to prison time right after Christmas. But, unfortunately, he caught new charges and went to jail early December. So when my due date rolls around in July he will probably not be there. But I take comfort in the fact that my parents and older sister are going to make it a point to move back here to help me...
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  #117  
Old 01-15-2012, 07:53 PM
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Hi im new to this "prisiontalk site" bare with me if im not responding correctly. My sons father went to prision in January 2007 and shortly after he left , maybe a week or so I found out I was pregnant. My son is now 4 yrs old and his father isnt coming home anytime soon if ever. I dont really kknow how he felt i belive for him it was a little surreal bc he wasnt there you know its hard to feel when you can live through it. Me on the other hand, was alone scared, sad happy all at the same time having the baby was hard alone fortunately my mom was there with me but to have your boyfriend or husband not share that first special moment , bringing your child into the world was and still is very difficult! I felt like i was th eonly one that had to go through this and at the time i was but now i see that sooooo many other women int he world are dealing with and have dealt with similar if not identical situations as I have!!
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  #118  
Old 01-15-2012, 08:04 PM
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My baby went in when I was 6 months pregnant. I did childbirth without him, but thankfully I had his mom there. It was very scary and I needed him there. He finally got to hold her when She was 6 months old. Shell be 2 and a half when he comes home. He was very very upset he couldn't be there to help me thru and was very sad he wasn't the first one to hold her like he had dreamt about. But he's hanging in there. Strongest man I've ever known. I was 19 when I had her. We are very strong women andcam make it thru this. . ::hugs::
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  #119  
Old 01-15-2012, 08:29 PM
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I was pregnant at the time when my husband was still in prison but I think because I was under so much stress due to him not being there and taking care of my daddy due to him having cancer I had a miscarriage when I was 2 months pregnant and 2 months later my daddy passed away. My due date was January 8, 2012. God knows I really wanted to have that baby due to the fact it was my husbands first child but I was going through a lot in my life and I really blame myself for the cause of my miscarriage.
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  #120  
Old 01-17-2012, 03:33 AM
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I'm 37wks pregnant and my baby's dad went in when I was 8wks.. It sucks being in this alone but I'm excited for my baby girl I have 3wks left it sucks he's in the hole now so he can even be here emotional for me n my baby girl! :/
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  #121  
Old 01-29-2012, 09:57 PM
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Hey same thing here. My baby daddy got locked up when I was 7months pregnant. We used to live in florida and we were traveling to illinois since my mom ownz antoher house there. We got stopped in georgia and the stupid detective charged him with possession of cocaine whic is bull crap but w.e. now he is in jail and has court on Wednesday but he is illegal. We have 2 kids, both boys. The oldest is 17months and the youngest is 2months. I am now working at a gas station 7 days a week and 8 hourz a day. We got legally married bak in july 2011 just last year and have been 2gether for 2years. We're high school sweethearts<3 I really miss him and what suks is dat I'm in illinois and he's in georgia. We r both 20yeears old and if he does get deported I am going to go with him to chile. So girlz I'm a young mother but take it 4rm me just b happy dat ur baby daddyz get to stay in america. I will have you all in my prayers
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  #122  
Old 02-01-2012, 12:23 AM
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Daughter was born over 5weeks early 12/16/11 was due 1/23/12. She was born the same day prison picked him up from county jail.
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  #123  
Old 02-01-2012, 01:25 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by missjax
Daughter was born over 5weeks early 12/16/11 was due 1/23/12. She was born the same day prison picked him up from county jail.
That's sad I'm sorry! :/
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  #124  
Old 02-02-2012, 10:00 AM
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My husband went to prison when I was 4 months pregnant with our 3rd child. His regrets by far outweigh my anger and sadness from him not being there for the delivery which was by c-section. Fortunately, my ob/gyn was awesome. When I was 8 months, I finally told her where my husband was and asked if there was any way to video tape the delivery even tho it was a c-section. She was the chief of staff at the hospital where I delivered and made that video tape happen!!! I mean the WHOLE thing. From right after incision(actually shows my water rupturing)to well after she took her first breath. My best friend was doing the taping and is talking to my husband just like he was there. I will be eternally grateful for the opportunity. Our daughter is now 4 years old and will be seeing her Daddy outside of the prison walls in 4 months and 12 days....Then he gets to see what he missed out on. As far as father/daughter bonding.....doesn't seem to be an issue. When she gets in trouble, she cries for Daddy!! Breaks my heart really, but makes me happy that she knows who he is and loves him despite where he is or what he has done. Now she just tells him "Daddy, you should really start listening so you don't get in any more trouble!!" Out of the mouths of Babes!!!!
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  #125  
Old 02-02-2012, 12:40 PM
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I was 5 months pregnant when he went in - I'm due in 6 days. I know it kills him that he won't be there, but I'm so angry about doing this alone at this point that I can't sympathize.
We're in Utah, which is subject to indeterminate sentencing. He's on a 0-5 with a matrix of 39 months, his Board hearing is in March...so when our daughter is a month old we'll find out if he'll be released within the next couple of months, or if he'll be serving the usual 50% of matrix (about 19 months), or somehow more than that.
I feel angry, and cheated of the family that I wanted, the things that he promised. I feel like this is something that I won't be able to forgive, even though I've forgiven the reason that he's in prison.
Maybe I'm just hormonal.
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