Welcome to the Prison Talk Online Community! Take a Minute and Sign Up Today!






Go Back   Prison Talk > FOR FAMILY & FRIENDS > Raising Children with Parents in Prison
Register Entertainment FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read

Raising Children with Parents in Prison For the Parent left behind with children AND for the Children that have a parent inside. Discussion of unique challenges facing this group!

View Poll Results: Was ur babys daddy locked up when his baby was born?
yes 389 80.87%
no 53 11.02%
shortly after the birth 39 8.11%
Voters: 481. You may not vote on this poll

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 02-12-2008, 04:58 PM
missingmitchsr missingmitchsr is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Southaven Ms USA
Posts: 43
Thanks: 0
Thanked 8 Times in 5 Posts
Question Baby born while daddy is locked up?

Was just curious as to how many women have had to go through childbirth without their baby daddys? I did and it was scary ,lonely and very stressfull. I am sure that there are more than just me to share this expierence. What did he think or how did he feel?
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to missingmitchsr For This Useful Post:
micaNviejo831 (03-29-2013)
Sponsored Links
  #2  
Old 02-12-2008, 05:09 PM
missingmitchsr missingmitchsr is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Southaven Ms USA
Posts: 43
Thanks: 0
Thanked 8 Times in 5 Posts
Default

My fiance got locked up when mitch jr was 5 months old, shortly after I found out that I was pregnant with another baby. When I told him he was happy but also sad because he knew he would not be there to help me with either one of them for 5 or 6 years. I thought that it was the end of the world...my heart was broken cause he was gone and now I have to take care of not one but 2 babies by myself. It has been very hard and demanding for the most part but it has also been a daily reminder of mitch sr. I can't wait to show him how well I am doing with the boys and how much they are like him...Hoping we are able to see him soon. He has only seen the baby in pictures and he is 6 months old now...
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to missingmitchsr For This Useful Post:
aaakr12 (07-05-2012), menmy2 (08-18-2011)
  #3  
Old 08-28-2016, 07:58 PM
Themis78 Themis78 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Georgia
Posts: 74
Thanks: 38
Thanked 20 Times in 17 Posts
Default

Do you plan on taking the kids to see him?
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 02-12-2008, 07:59 PM
ThatOneChick ThatOneChick is offline
Crazy never felt so good
 

Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Beneath the pale moon light
Posts: 1,400
Thanks: 693
Thanked 603 Times in 297 Posts
Default

My bf got locked up 3 months before she was born. I have no idea what he felt, I mean of course he didn't like it and I'm sure it didn't feel too good for him. It didn't feel too good for me either.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 02-12-2008, 08:09 PM
mrschris's Avatar
mrschris mrschris is offline
loved!
 

Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: somewhere up north =)
Posts: 8,251
Thanks: 524
Thanked 1,148 Times in 716 Posts
Default

my entire pregnancy was spent with my husband behind bars...and when she was born we were both ecstatic--but he took the cake--i've never seen a man cry both when he found OUT about the baby AND after she was born, but he did

the road isn't an easy one travelled but for those of us that choose to walk it it's extremely rewarding in many ways, sometimes upsetting in others...just keeping it real.

you aren't the only one walking the path--thank goodness i found PTO very early on in my pregnancy so i really wasn't ever alone.
__________________
[b]Abraham thought he had to give his son for God's children, but God gave His Son for Abraham's children.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to mrschris For This Useful Post:
aaakr12 (07-05-2012)
  #6  
Old 08-11-2010, 04:20 AM
thannah2010 thannah2010 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Indiana USA
Posts: 16
Thanks: 1
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
Default Prego

My husband and i found out we were pregnant before he got locked up and this is our first child together. It is by no means easy. It's hard to go through pregnancy alone. Especially because he may not be out for the birth of our son. Everything happens for a reason. God has a plan.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to thannah2010 For This Useful Post:
Stylista (05-21-2012)
  #7  
Old 02-12-2008, 09:43 PM
MRSWALLACE23's Avatar
MRSWALLACE23 MRSWALLACE23 is offline
dangerously in love
 

Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Broward county, Florida
Posts: 366
Thanks: 0
Thanked 19 Times in 9 Posts
Default

I got pregnant while my hubby was incarcerated [yes, it's his baby--we made work release work for us]. He was at work release but the way it was suppose to work out he would have been home a month and a half before the baby was due--well he caught a new charge, which is a violation of work release, lost all his gain time, which would have had him coming home a month and a few days after the babys due date but our son decided to come early, sooooooo when he gets home it's the day before our son turns 2 months. He got to see me pregnant,he got to rub my belly, he had to deal with the vomiting, he had to deal with the mood swings, he had to deal with the sleepiness, but he did get the pregnant nucky!!! He wasn't able to go to doctors appointments but he got to see ultrasound pics and the 3d ultrasound video clips and he was on the phone with me when I found out the sex. I was fine with the whole situation until after I had the baby. My mom was with me during labor so that was great, i didnt' feel alone. I had too much else to focus on. After the baby was born, I found myself sobbing quite often about his not being there but I've held on, I feel much better now and we are 25 days away from daddy being home. I'm looking forward to him seeing his son for the first time, to seeing him holding him, to see him take care of him, to have our first outing as a family, to attend church together, just make life work on a day to day as a family. Having that to look forward to is what keeps me going.

I have no idea how he feels. I don't think he cared to be in the delivery room, and if he was, I know he wouldn't have been looking down there. I'm sure he hates that he's missing out. He asks about what he does everyday he calls--he's only a month old, doesn't do much outside of eat sleep and poop--well he coos a little now and he stays awake longer and looks around more and he stares in your face. He missed 2 months but he'll have the rest of his life with him as long as he keeps his behind out of trouble.
__________________





“Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength.”


Last edited by MRSWALLACE23; 02-12-2008 at 09:55 PM..
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to MRSWALLACE23 For This Useful Post:
babyalyssa1 (08-01-2011), Diablo'sWifey (10-02-2012)
  #8  
Old 02-14-2008, 01:29 AM
MissingMyDaniel's Avatar
MissingMyDaniel MissingMyDaniel is offline
1 Heart, 1 Soul, 2 Bodies
 

Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: WA, USA but my heart & soul is in WV
Posts: 1,350
Thanks: 221
Thanked 362 Times in 244 Posts
Default

My hubby was locked up 2 weeks after we found out I was prego and won't be home till our daughter is 5. I went through it alone and yeah, it scared the crap outta me not having him there. It really bit the big one, seeing the other new fathers come in to be with their women and babies. I never used to be a hater... As far as how he feels, well, he hurts deeply over not being here with us. And for the first time in his life he has regrets. I know my hubby well enough to say that it will be hard if not impossible fo him to overcome the guilt he feels. But that is just who he is, really old school. He is our protector and provider and not being able to do that eats away at him. In his mind it makes him less of a man. To me he's the greatest and I tell him that this is just a bump in the road. We'll get over it together.
__________________
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to MissingMyDaniel For This Useful Post:
BayleighMarie10 (03-24-2012)
  #9  
Old 02-14-2008, 02:04 PM
missingmitchsr missingmitchsr is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Southaven Ms USA
Posts: 43
Thanks: 0
Thanked 8 Times in 5 Posts
Default

Thanks to everyone responding to my post. It really helps to know that I am not the only one with this pain and emptiness...I do understand...my baby was born 2 months early and NICU was crazy alone...the nurses and other parents always asked me "wheres his daddy" I always replied with in our hearts. He was able to call everyday and pray over the phone with me about the boys which was expensive but how do you put a pricetag on sanity??? Thanks again ladies and God Bless you all!
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to missingmitchsr For This Useful Post:
jasonswifeyaz (05-30-2012), micaNviejo831 (03-29-2013)
  #10  
Old 09-28-2013, 02:25 AM
Nicole2619 Nicole2619 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: California USA
Posts: 25
Thanks: 12
Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts
Thumbs up

My husband got arrested when I was 5 months pregnant, she is 18 months old now and will be 2 when he gets home. 5 days of labor followed by 5 days in the hospital because I developed pre eclampsia in the 2 day span when they sent me home, and because the dr broke her collar bone and all the tests, they finally met through glass when she was 5 days old, the day I got discharged. When she was born I made a plan that if he couldnt be there with/for me than my mom and mother in law would come and thats what they did. And they have been my main support through this whole journey, I cant count the number of time they have snapped me out of depression because he was missing it all. He was completely torn up about it, missing those precious first months that he will never get back. I remember hrs after she was born I held it together just long enough for everyone to leave and once it was just me and her alone, I just sat there holding her crying for hrs wishing he was there with us. The next day when he called it was the quietest it had ever been considering in county its always loud, he ask me if she was born so I began to tell him the time, height and weight than the guy standing next to him started yelling out to everyone what I was saying, and the entire jail started clapping and cheering and congratulating us. They all knew how torn up we were about the situation so that was their little celebration to cheer us up, they had us both in tears. It hasnt been the easiest journey but with the right support you can get through anything. I am exhausted taking care of these kids alone but I have my family to rely on. For now Im all they have and ill bust my ass to be supermom until hes here and when he gets here I told him he will be watching the kids while I sleep for a week lol Cheers to us all, were all a bunch of bad a$$ mommas He still beats himself up about it every day and honestly I dont think he will ever let it go
__________________

Last edited by Nicole2619; 09-28-2013 at 02:43 AM..
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Nicole2619 For This Useful Post:
CFbabymamma (08-11-2014)
  #11  
Old 02-14-2008, 04:08 PM
eddiesgirl1's Avatar
eddiesgirl1 eddiesgirl1 is offline
please dont lose the key!
 

Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: fort worth tx
Posts: 479
Thanks: 25
Thanked 94 Times in 72 Posts
Default

i have three kids 1 from a previous relationship and 2 from my husband. our little girl is 2 and my baby boy is 4 months old daddy had to go when he was just 7 days old.
__________________
EDDIESGIRL1

Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 02-14-2008, 05:04 PM
mariaandtaylor mariaandtaylor is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Where he is....
Posts: 236
Thanks: 2
Thanked 76 Times in 53 Posts
Default

Our little lady bug was born one month after he was remanded. It wasn't easy but I got through it with his pictures by my side and I was blessed to have his family there to help me "push" through it. Thanks Mom! And sure enough the next day I asked to be released so he could see our beautiful daughter. Yes I made it to visiting. It took over a year before he finally got to hold her but at least he seen her through the glass. She is now almost 29 months and she looks forward in seeing her daddy every week.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 02-14-2008, 08:30 PM
missingmitchsr missingmitchsr is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Southaven Ms USA
Posts: 43
Thanks: 0
Thanked 8 Times in 5 Posts
Default

I totally know what you mean about the pictures I have one above our bed and lil mitch has one he likes to show everyone....its sweet he tells everyone my dadadadada...lol he is only 16 months old and I want him to know who he is it also puts a face with the voice he hears on the phone so when we do finally get to visit he knows who he is or what to say anyways...God bless.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to missingmitchsr For This Useful Post:
BayleighMarie10 (03-24-2012)
  #14  
Old 02-14-2008, 09:38 PM
BRIAN'S GIRL's Avatar
BRIAN'S GIRL BRIAN'S GIRL is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: cross lanes , WV USA
Posts: 1,462
Thanks: 113
Thanked 219 Times in 194 Posts
Default

we have 2 little girls and sadly both were born when he was locked up an it was sad watching all the other dads with there wives and babies
__________________




Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 02-14-2008, 09:43 PM
JoeysGurl4Lyfe's Avatar
JoeysGurl4Lyfe JoeysGurl4Lyfe is offline
JoeysGurl4lyfe
 

Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Michigan
Posts: 19
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Default

i know how you feel in a way cuz our daughter was about a month old when my fiance get locked up and it is very hard and stressful...well good luck with everything and i hope everything works out for you congrats on the new baby
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 02-14-2008, 09:50 PM
mrschrisfore's Avatar
mrschrisfore mrschrisfore is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: gallatin tn
Posts: 433
Thanks: 1
Thanked 5 Times in 3 Posts
Default

yeah both of my babys daddys were locked up , one was the night i went into labor and the other 2 days before the last one is still theere and has never held his baby just seen her through glass and she is a year old
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 02-15-2008, 11:11 PM
nala08 nala08 is offline
I'm doing fine!
 

Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Missouri USA
Posts: 451
Thanks: 115
Thanked 62 Times in 52 Posts
Default

Well yeah he will be locked up by the time our baby comes, he went in when I was 6 months pregnant our baby is due 05/01/08. He is not happy about it and neither am I, I just know I am gonna be upset because he wont be there when our new son is born. He did get to to go to some dr appts with me, he saw the sonogram and everything but he wont be there for the birth which is hard for me because he has been there for the our other two and it will be kinda sad but I am sure that I can deal with more than he will be able to to considering he has no control over seeing it at all. I am gonna record it though (something I never wanted to do)lol!
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 02-18-2008, 05:04 AM
special_24's Avatar
special_24 special_24 is offline
Forever Humble
 

Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: GA
Posts: 134
Thanks: 83
Thanked 35 Times in 26 Posts
Default

I had My son while his father has been locked up i was 7 months pragnant when he got locked up and we were hoping he get out before the babie was born he didnt as i thought and hoped for. its been hard on me dealing with his daddy (missing out on the birth of his first child missing his first crawls and missing out on so much of his babie) and knowing his going to miss out on so much more. i now its hard on all us mothers who have had r children while there fathers r locked up i feel us mothers with babies that r dealing with this sufffer the most.. he wants to see him and be with him so badd and i do to..
__________________



Daddy will be home July 09'

Last edited by special_24; 02-18-2008 at 05:08 AM..
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to special_24 For This Useful Post:
teinesamoa (07-23-2012)
  #19  
Old 02-19-2008, 11:04 AM
nala08 nala08 is offline
I'm doing fine!
 

Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Missouri USA
Posts: 451
Thanks: 115
Thanked 62 Times in 52 Posts
Default

Since I have expereinced him being there and being so supportive with me when I had our other two kids to me its not gonna be the same. Like of course I am going to be tickled to pieces to have my new baby in my arms because I am so anxious to see him now its ridiculous, but a part of me wills till be sad because he wont be there to share that moment like he was able to with the other two. Since I am not really a big fan of his mother, I really dont want her there, like she can come the following day after my son is born, but I cant deal with her during labor. I dont know how I am gonna deal this will be the first time to spend the night in the hospital all alone after the baby is born. Man so much to get used to in this short amount of time.
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 01-15-2011, 01:31 AM
Lildoll Lildoll is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Stanislaus County
Posts: 11
Thanks: 0
Thanked 2 Times in 1 Post
Default

Well lets see we got locked up when I was 5 months pregant.I was with him in the car High Speed Chase but mine got dropped his didnt cause he was on parole.It was hard for me cause it was my first kid.He has others but was never really around to raise them.And he promised hed be there to raise this one with me.I know he ment it but it didnt work out like that.I took her to the COunty Jail when she was 4 days old.Everyone said I was crazy but I didnt care I wanted him to see our beautiful babygirl.He didnt get to hold her or kiss her until she was almost 2. I couldnt imagine that feeling.I wasnt approved to go in and my mother in law was to old to carry my baby in.Now shes almost 2 and a half and Ive finally been able to go visit with the baby hes been gone almost 3 years.And I miss him just as much as I did the very first day he left.My baby looks just like him its kinda scary.But to answer your question yes overall the whole situation sucks I can tell you be strong but Im not gunna lie this is the hardest thing Ive ever had to do in my life.Yeah labor is hard, but not as hard a raising her alone.Now just because ur man made a dumb decision dosent mean he dosent love u or ur baby. And it dosent mean he chose drugs over u unless u werent together when he got locked up. But whats done is done and now u both have to deal with it.And for the babys sake dont keep her from her dad.It will only hurt her growing up without not even knowing him. And one more thing his punishment started the day they but the handcuffs on him and took him away.It will kill him inside everyday he is not there to raise ur baby. Believe me he will feel it and regrett it ever day and that alone is punishment enough.And in that said Ill say what I always say How you treated the people you LOVE and the LOVE you showed them is the LOVE u will get back when ur gone.If you treated them right then they will be there for u when ur locked up. Because you left them with nothing but good memories to be remembered by.If you were the BIGGEST JERK around treated everyone like crap.Or even to the point where the person u loved ended up hating u well then thats the impression u left behind.So really only u now what memorys he left behind for you to remember him by.For the love he showed U is the LOVE he will get back from you.Or if it was Hate then Hate is what he has coming back to him.ITS WHAT U DO UNTO OTHERS WHEN UR OUT THAT MATTERS!!!!

Last edited by Lildoll; 01-15-2011 at 01:37 AM..
Reply With Quote
  #21  
Old 02-19-2008, 12:20 PM
lahill lahill is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Birmingham, al
Posts: 103
Thanks: 0
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
Default

i also had to give birth to my son while his father was locked up and it was such a painful experience. I was very emotional and it was hard. I felt so alone even though everybody (my family and his family) were there. I also felt like the doctor was wondering where is the father. It was terrible. The only good thing from that experience was my son.
Reply With Quote
  #22  
Old 02-19-2008, 12:41 PM
pristock230's Avatar
pristock230 pristock230 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: May 2006
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 1,445
Thanks: 3
Thanked 21 Times in 20 Posts
Default

My daughters father was locked up when I was 10 weeks pregnant, it was very hard to go through it alone, granted I had a great pregnancy but it was still hard. Labor was rough without him there and the first 17 months of her life. But he is home now and things are great.
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #23  
Old 02-19-2008, 07:44 PM
missingmitchsr missingmitchsr is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Southaven Ms USA
Posts: 43
Thanks: 0
Thanked 8 Times in 5 Posts
Default

Thanks to all you ladies for sharing your stories! I find strength in you all! God bless you, and your families!!!
***God is in control***
Reply With Quote
  #24  
Old 02-20-2008, 08:24 AM
lovin_sean's Avatar
lovin_sean lovin_sean is offline
What Would Miss Jay Do?
 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Wherever I am, tired of Prison BS
Posts: 319
Thanks: 240
Thanked 46 Times in 28 Posts
Default

My youngest daughter's father was there for her birth, but he went in when she was one week old. He won't be out until she's 4 years old (she'll be 2 in June). Although he was there for her birth, it was a terribly emotional time because we both knew that he wasn't going to be around much longer. Some days I still just can't believe that she doesn't even know her "Daddy". He is over 3 hours away right now and we only get to see him every few months. I'm hoping he'll get transferred a little closer to home next year so we can see him more often, so at least he won't be a total stranger to her like he is now. The few times that we have been to visit him, she wouldn't even let him hold her .
__________________
I have loved him forever
Reply With Quote
  #25  
Old 02-20-2008, 11:41 AM
nala08 nala08 is offline
I'm doing fine!
 

Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Missouri USA
Posts: 451
Thanks: 115
Thanked 62 Times in 52 Posts
Default

I know that is something that I am afraid of is that he will too far away and that I wont get to visit as often. He is still in diagnostics right now, but depending on where he goes will depend on how often I can make it up to see him. I wish he were still 10 minutes away in the county jail, but oh well,I have to take what I can get and make it work the best wway I know how
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
BIG Texas Get Together - Katy/Sugarland area Sat 3rd March Rachel Texas Member Introductions & Lone Star Lounge 324 04-28-2007 08:28 PM
article...*Prison Is a Member of Their Family* emme General Prison Talk 11 04-26-2004 02:18 PM
The case involving the death of a baby that may never have been born danielle General Prison Talk 3 10-04-2002 05:41 PM


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 11:19 PM.
Copyright © 2001- 2019 Prison Talk Online
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Website Design & Custom vBulletin Skins by: Relivo Media
Message Board Statistics