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Loving a Lifer For those whose loved one is serving a life sentence.

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  #101  
Old 04-29-2012, 03:36 AM
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So i just found out he got sentenced to life without parole on Apr 20 2012
and I just decided to stay by his side because i love him soo much and i know he love me the same and he was protecting his family and i know that and god knows that so i know all things are possible with god and i know hes going to come home no matter what the law tells us.
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That none of them have felt this way <3
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  #102  
Old 05-11-2012, 10:35 AM
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love....
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i luv my sexy mexican....
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  #103  
Old 07-09-2012, 11:36 PM
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Love hard, speak softly, Laugh always and enjoy.. That's our GLUE.
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  #104  
Old 07-14-2012, 12:22 AM
4EverYoung1 4EverYoung1 is offline
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Gorrilla glue Actually our daughter,our love, the passion and desire we both have with eachother.
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  #105  
Old 07-27-2012, 10:29 AM
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Gorilla Glue! Me and my husband have an unbroken bond. We love each other and we will continue to stand tall thru it all. 2GETHER WE WILL 4EVER STAND!
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  #106  
Old 10-15-2012, 03:51 PM
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The glue is our friendship first that started it all. His respect for me. Accepting me with my faults and all. Listening more than anyone else. Helping me through my hardest times when he didn't have to. Giving me advice truth when it hurts but I needed it. Lol. Teaching many things in growing into who I am now! He's taught me alot in being in a real relationship being an adult in many ways. Communication at best. He's my inspiration. Motivation.
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  #107  
Old 10-18-2012, 12:25 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MurphyGirl View Post
I've been thinking about the threads we've responded to lately about how can we stay with our lifers. Why do we do it?
I've always thought that it was a good question, but it's been asked in the wrong way. So I am going to ask you all this...

What is the glue that holds you to your lifer?

What is it about him that you absolutely love that keeps you from being able to walk away?

For me there are many things, Our history together.We grew up together , We met as kids, loved each other when we were teenagers lived together after high school..
His eyes! I feel such a deep connection when I look into his eyes, it's almost spiritual!
The respect we have for each other, it would be so easy to take short cuts in our relationship but we don't. We go the full mile for each other because nothing less would be cheating ourselves.
I love the way he knows me better than I know myself. how he remembers almost everything important I've ever said to him.

there is so much more but you guys get the point!!

So let's hear some positive thoughts and ideas!

NO negative posts please!


hugs,
Ann
The number one thing that holds me together to him is our level of communication and honesty. This has by far been the most difficult relationship that I've ever been in but the most satisfying emotionally. I know that must sound weird but do I care? NO!! I love the connection that we have and how he makes it a point to understand me and everything I go through in MY WORLD. I do the exact same thing by making it absolutely necessary to understand HIS WORLD; they are complete opposites! At the end of the day or year...it has only made us stronger and more determined to stay together for the rest of our lives...one day at a time. We will have 7 years in March of next year and have plans to be married in early 2013. I've endured the snide remarks and unsolicited advice and have a stronger relationship with the God of my choice Jesus Christ as a result. My faith has gotten me through more than one lonely day and night and I continue to ask the Lord to help me to do his will and not mine. I truly believe that I found my soul-mate and we are in each others lives for a reason and that is to improve ourselves and each other.
One day at a time!
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  #108  
Old 10-18-2012, 04:26 AM
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From time to time we get so desperate that we think love might not be enough for a successful relationship. The funny thing is in the end we always realize that it is really the love that keeps this relationship going.
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  #109  
Old 10-21-2012, 10:54 AM
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For me its because of who he is , plain and simple he is a amazing soul he is by far one of the most loyal , compassionate , witty , funny , passionate ,intelligent, fair, honest,magnanimous , sagacious people i have ever come to know . He is one half of my living soul .I married him because i came to respect him and from that grew unconditional love . He is every accumulation of my prayers and the ultimate grace of God . Although we suffer we find meaning in our suffering . i can not acuretly define to you what the bond is it is just a multitude of a united entity in tow sperate people becomeing whole that is willing to self sacrifice and love in-spite of anything , he has given me a lot of happiness a few tears some arguments but much more understanding and love than i believed the core of any human was able to divulge and for that i appreciate my blessing i love him today and forever more. Gabriel Correa mi amor xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
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  #110  
Old 10-29-2012, 06:40 AM
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Because I can't imagine my life without him in it. He's treated me with more love and respect than any other man I have ever been with out here in the free world. He doesn't step out of the character he first presented himself as just because things may go south or we may disagree. No matter what he remains to be the man I first fell in love with. He's patient and understanding and doesn't believe in letting things fester, we communicate on a level I'd always prayed about being able to do in past relationships. He doesn't go one day without saying he appreciates me or me being there and most of all I just love the mess out of that man. He's my everything
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  #111  
Old 11-22-2012, 02:36 AM
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There is many things which are keep us to with our life patener.and the main thing is love,love keep us with our lifer in whole life.Emotions are also play vital role in our life.
And misunderstanding take us away from our lifer.so avoid missunderstanding.
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  #112  
Old 12-17-2012, 02:35 AM
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Like so many of you, we met as teenagers. Loved each other for only a summer. Then everything happened and I tried to move on and start over but I felt a big piece missing from any relationship I had. It was the piece I left with him. Now, sixteen years later, we still have that spark, that piece that bonds us, keeps us to each other. We may have only letters and short visits but its enough for us. I've tried to explain this to friends and family but I think only you all understand. I am grateful for places like this, it helps to know that I'm not alone!
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  #113  
Old 12-22-2012, 08:42 AM
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My lifer n I are mwi best friend...he is now my fiance n I don't really think about the time since he could get parole but I have a hard time when we can't talk how do u all handle the day to day
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  #114  
Old 12-26-2012, 02:46 AM
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It's hard to put into words but here it goes. We met when we were nineteen and immediately there was a connection. We had a wonderful few months before everything happened. I tried to move on, marrying someone I liked but didn't have a real soul connection to. I had four children during fifteen very rocky years. Now reconnected to my man I realized the connection I never had with anyone else. The love I always had for him but tried to ignore that shined through as soon as we first saw each other. It's an unconventional relationship but being with him is worth not having some perks of a conventional relationship. I have his heart as he has mine and that is enough for us.
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  #115  
Old 12-31-2012, 12:26 AM
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He is my son...
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  #116  
Old 02-05-2013, 01:20 AM
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Hmmm.....where to start... We met thru his sister...we've been together for almost 5 years..and I am moving to be closer...
He is my one true love. I am crazy in love..and he always let's me know he feels the same..I read up on his case in the media and they make him sound horrible..but I know my love is the most caring,loving,loyal man Ever
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  #117  
Old 02-22-2013, 06:42 PM
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My BF is serving Life with parole. he was caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. He thought the guy he killed was pulling a gun so, he pulled his gun and shot. It killed him. I somedays have so much hope that he will come home and somedays are so frustrated. I just want him home. i think the glue that holds us together is our love, trust and friendship. honestly, it can be very hard to live this lifestyle. Only getting to see him every other week for 3 hours. having him been locked up for 16 years. but, i KNOW him. I know his soul. I know his dreams. When he looks into my eyes, there is nothing else that could make me happier. i love my lifer no matter what we go through. I truly believe this time away from each other physically has only made our bond stronger. I love youKJ!!!!!

P. S. does anyone find it "challenging" when people are just about to die being away from there loved one that only has a few months or years? I WISH that's what we had!!!!!!!!
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  #118  
Old 02-24-2013, 11:52 PM
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i met a lifer online via social networking 7 months ago. he has a cell phone in there thats how he goes online, he has been incarcerated for 10 yrs now. we talk everyday and i have fallen in love with him. everything about him mesmorizes me. if i could create the man of my dreams it would be him, ofcourse free from prison! i have never felt like this before about somebody i have never met. i have an unexplainiable bond and connection with him. i cant visit him because i was in prison and i just got off supervision. my friends and family think i am crazy but i cant help what i feel. i think we met for a reason
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  #119  
Old 02-25-2013, 06:12 AM
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He was my first love, my first everything. We married in 1986 right after he went to prison he was 20, I was 1 day shy of 22. We lasted for 10 yrs, and we divorced. I had not been in touch with up until this past year, but always knew how he was through his family. I had wanted to write to him throughout the years, but never did. Well, after all this time I decided to write. I will never leave his side again. He is the most caring, loving and wonderful man ever. I pray someday he will come home to me where he is suppose to be. The glue that will forever hold us together is unconditional love.
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  #120  
Old 03-18-2013, 01:55 PM
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She is the sunshine that brightens my every day. Her gentleness, her compassion, her loving encouragement and support are priceless. She is the love of my life. I became a different person when I met her. I couldn't ever be with anyone else!
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  #121  
Old 07-25-2013, 12:03 AM
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Well our glue is our love and now, most recently our glue is our marriage I married my lifer. The foundation of our relationship is respect, trust and of course love. I haven't had a relationship with that foundation and it is beautiful. Love is love no matter who you fall in love with. I've known him since I was 11 and I married him at 32. I dont love that he is in prison but I love the man that he is. A love like this is worth the wait
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  #122  
Old 08-06-2013, 05:11 PM
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I can not imagine my life without him in it. He has been my dearest friend for 21 years over time he became my greatest love. When I was going through a bad time he was there for me everyday giving me encouragement offering advice. When he is going through a rough patch I am there for him. We share everything that we are doing or thinking with each other. Just thinking of him makes me smile.
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  #123  
Old 09-18-2013, 10:20 PM
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Default Our Glue

I not sure the thing I love most about him because there's just so much.
But our glue is our love for each other. He's the ONLY person who knows everything about me good, bad or indifferent. He's never judged me for the things I've done or the things I might say when I'm mad. And at the end of the day I never doubt if he loves me or our kids and that's the best feeling in the whole world.
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  #124  
Old 03-28-2015, 03:28 PM
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I have only recently connected with my first "love" from my early teens who is now a lifer. I am happily married currently. My lifer's mom encouraged me to write to him. The letters I write are long, detailing every memory I had of the two of us from nearly 40 years ago. He wrote back, finally, after 4 months and said that I was his first love and he has regretted letting me get away for his whole life. I didn't know what to think. He also said that he is stressed out a lot in prison and it is not real easy for him to write. Later, by phone, he told me that he stayed up all night with my first ten page letter re-reading it and laughing and crying just reliving those years. IT took months for the phone connection to be approved, but this past month we spent a total of two hours on the phone. He began by telling me that he was sorry for ignoring me at a certain event instead of just telling me how he felt about the event. Many men never admit this kind of fault, right??? I was stunned that he remembered this from so many years ago and I could not process what or why we had ended our relationship. He filled in those blanks, told me about his tragic childhood, foster homes, adoption, and finding his bio brother in his late 20's. He told me that he would always love me and I feel the same about him and have told him so, now that I understand our relationship. By phone he kept asking about my current husband and marriage and asked if I wanted to stay with my husband and I said, "Yeah." and he made a joke, and the phone cut us off as it was at the end of a call, so the recorded voice came on. He has gone silent on me again, and his adopted mom is just not helpful. So, I feel that I am willing to be supportive of him in any way that I can and would like to visit him in person, and am continuing to write him. That is where it stands.
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  #125  
Old 03-30-2015, 10:35 AM
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The Glue that keeps us together?

The love and genuine friendship we have built and share with one another. He is my best friend. We talk about everything. I love our level of communication. We are very open and honest with each other and when we are having an issue we work together to resolve it.


What is it about him that keeps you from walking away?

Well...his laugh, how genuine he is, his kindness, his self awareness, how supportive he is, the beautiful lives that we now share together and the future we look forward to sharing. I love him, and there is no reason to walk away
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