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Coming Home Dedicated to discussions about our loved ones that are coming home soon. Discussions here should not fit any other category.

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  #1  
Old 02-19-2007, 04:23 PM
daligogh daligogh is offline
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Question my baby comes home 5/24 and I don't know what to do!

He's been gone since the day after labor day and I forgot what its like to be in a real relationship. I've known him since last may and this has been a an interesting new experience. I love him to death and he has done nothing but respect and love me since I laid eyes on him. I am 22 and he is 22 and I am about to graduate with a B.S. in management and finance in may. When discussing this in our correspondence he said "I must be glad I graduate before he's released, I wouldn't want an ex-con at my graduation". And things like ..."When you go to law school you classmates are going to look at me funny coming to pick you up". And "Whats your mom going to say about you ex-con boyfriend".(Though that is a legitimate issue because I didn't tell my mom and I live with her and she for the lack of a nicer word...nosey and she went through my things one day and found all his letters and read them and made copies and put them in her safety deposit box encase we get robbed. When I came home from school that day she was actually packing up my things to kick me out.I didn't have the heart to tell him all that.) I am worried. If he's acting like this before getting released how will he act when he gets home. It's almost like hes angry with me for doing the right thing. Any advice please! I'm so confused.

Last edited by daligogh; 02-19-2007 at 04:32 PM..
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  #2  
Old 02-19-2007, 04:29 PM
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berniesangel berniesangel is offline
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Well honey seems to me you are a little confused about your relationship. I am married to a man in jail and I couldn't love anyone more. Also seems as if you are ashamed of him. Almost everyone I know knows that my husband is in jail. I do think he has the right to be worried or make certain statements. He is wondering about the future of your relationship. You need to take the time and figure out if you want him to remain a part of your life. Because before you know it he'll be home.
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Old 02-19-2007, 04:36 PM
daligogh daligogh is offline
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I am soooo not ashamed of him. Everyone else knows....but I just couldn't tell my mother....for reasons evident in her reaction.

Last edited by daligogh; 02-19-2007 at 04:37 PM..
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Old 02-19-2007, 05:22 PM
daligogh daligogh is offline
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Thanks for your advice bernie, but I'd still like some more input. Anyone else?
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Old 02-19-2007, 06:42 PM
Monozpiggie <3 Monozpiggie <3 is offline
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I know what you mean. My mom and a few close friends know that my man is in prison and that he won't be getting out until April 5th of this year, but my dad doesn't know. My dad is the man of the house and he's old fashion most of the time, so if he were to find out, he would kick me out. I don't think that you are ashamed of you're man being where he is, I just think you're afraid that if you told certain people they probably wouldn't understand and that would make you feel more upset and confused. It's good that you are graduating in May, he should be happy for you. It's inpressing that you were able to go to school and deal with your man being in prison and everything else going on in your life, so you should be proud of yourself for that. Try talking to your man more and telling him how you feel and see what he has to say. Try seeing if he really wants to be with you or if he just wants someone to stand by him. If hes never lied to you before and he is telling you he loves you now, than there should be no reason for you to doubt him. You're probably just afraid that once he gets out, he is going to break your heart or something. I always think about my man and I and what will happy when he gets out. There is always going to be reasons to get out of a relationship, but there is always going to be MORE reasons to stay with the person because you LOVE them. Well, I hope this helped you out a little bit. Sorry it's a bit long and good luck with everything!
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Old 02-19-2007, 06:43 PM
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It sounds like you both have your own issues to deal with separately and as a couple. My advice is to do so BEFORE he comes home. Explain to him what your needs, desires, expectations are and have him do the same then come up with a game plan and move forward separately or together. I know for a fact that the foundation built before he comes home goes a long long way towards dealing with what happens and much will honey once he is released. Communication is key to any successful relationship. You can take that to the bank...

Patty
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Old 02-19-2007, 07:44 PM
daligogh daligogh is offline
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Thanks for seeing things my way.
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Old 02-19-2007, 07:50 PM
daligogh daligogh is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HotLatinaMILF4U
It sounds like you both have your own issues to deal with separately and as a couple. My advice is to do so BEFORE he comes home. Explain to him what your needs, desires, expectations are and have him do the same then come up with a game plan and move forward separately or together. I know for a fact that the foundation built before he comes home goes a long long way towards dealing with what happens and much will honey once he is released. Communication is key to any successful relationship. You can take that to the bank...

Patty
He says he wants to go to school and be with me and I support this fully but lately he sounds like hes not sure. And your right communication is key but since he can't write his letters directly to my home theres like a two week lag in his replies cause his letters are sent to his moms home and then she calls me to pick them up after she has a few to give me. So it really hard to get what he's thinking now, when I'm working with his letter from last week.
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