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  #101  
Old 04-19-2009, 06:40 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ana navarro View Post
that was a great poem it made me think alot i am currently married to my husband who is incarcserated for the first time at wasco for beating me we are currently still together but this made me realiize i need to do something about this situation before i end up getting flowers at my funeral. i have been through alot with him and have been beaten really bad alot but this time im gonna be incontrol of what goes on in my life for the first time in our 5 year relationship im putting my foot down and im gonna let him know when you are relased you will not put hands on me anymore because i said so.
I really hope you find the strength to get away from this man who abuses you. You don't deserve this! There is so much more out there and I am sure you can live without this torture and find happiness. I doubt after five years he will change and he may be setting you up by letting you hear what you want to hear until he gets out. Please go to a shelter, family member or even a church to find help.
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  #102  
Old 05-15-2009, 11:41 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 211z GurLL View Post
I Got Flowers Today

(Dedicated to Battered Women)

I got flowers today!
It wasn't my birthday or any other special day.
We had our first argument last night;
And he said a lot of cruel things that really hurt;
I know that he is sorry and didnít mean to say the things he said;
Because he sent me flowers today.


I got flowers today.


I
t wasn't our anniversary or any other special day.
Last night, he threw me into a wall and started to choke me.
It seemed like a nightmare.
I couldn't believe that it was real.
I woke up this morning sore and bruised all over.
I know he must be sorry.
Because he sent me flowers today.



I got flowers today!
It wasnít our anniversary or any other special day;
Last night he threw me into a wall and then started choking me;
It seemed unreal, a nightmare, but you wake up from nightmares;
And I woke up this morning sore and bruised all overóbut I know he is sorry;
Because he sent me flowers today.



I got flowers today!
And it wasnít Valentines Day or any other special day;
Last night he beat me and threatened to kill me;
Make-up and long sleeves didnít hide the cuts and bruises this time;
I couldnít go to work today because I didnít want anyone to knowóbut I know heís sorry;
Because he sent me flowers today.



I got flowers today!
And it wasnít Motherís Day or any other special day;
Last night he beat me again, and it was worse than all of the other times;
If I leave him, what will I do? How will I take care of the kids? What about money?
Iím afraid of him, but Iím too scared and dependent to leave him! But he must be sorry;
Because he sent me flowers today.


I got flowers todayÖ.
Today was a special dayóit was the day of my funeral;
Last night he killed me;
If only I would have gathered the courage and strength to leave him;
I could have received help from the Womenís Shelter, but I didnít ask for their help;
So I got flowers todayófor the last time.




thank-you sometimes even when you ask for help you get turned down but never quit trying
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  #103  
Old 07-15-2009, 04:11 PM
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I came across this poem via email many many years ago, while I was being abused. I read it, I cried, but didn't give it much thought. I never did delete it though and one day I just hit print and put it up at my cubicle at work, everyday I read it along with the serenity prayer (I feel that it not only applies to addicts but to anyone that wants serenity in their lives).
Everyday it sank deeper into me and until one day I said "enough".
I came to realize that my boys and I deserved to be happy, to feel safe and be loved.
Leaving him was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, but it is also one of the best! I am happy now. I have learned to value myself and not take any more bs.
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I use to think I couldn't breathe without him, look at me now!
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  #104  
Old 08-09-2009, 08:12 PM
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This is a very touchy poem. It is also so true. The abuser will try to say he's sorry by given u gifts. It is a vicious cycle. Some women get out while they still can, with no harm done, others get out with harm already done, the other half never sees the light of day. I'm a lucky one i got out just in time. this poem still hit home though. thank you!
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  #105  
Old 09-05-2009, 06:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 211z GurLL View Post
I Got Flowers Today
(Dedicated to Battered Women)


I got flowers today!
It wasn't my birthday or any other special day.
We had our first argument last night;
And he said a lot of cruel things that really hurt;
I know that he is sorry and didnít mean to say the things he said;
Because he sent me flowers today.



I got flowers today.
I
t wasn't our anniversary or any other special day.
Last night, he threw me into a wall and started to choke me.
It seemed like a nightmare.
I couldn't believe that it was real.
I woke up this morning sore and bruised all over.
I know he must be sorry.
Because he sent me flowers today.


I got flowers today!
It wasnít our anniversary or any other special day;
Last night he threw me into a wall and then started choking me;
It seemed unreal, a nightmare, but you wake up from nightmares;
And I woke up this morning sore and bruised all overóbut I know he is sorry;
Because he sent me flowers today.


I got flowers today!
And it wasnít Valentines Day or any other special day;
Last night he beat me and threatened to kill me;
Make-up and long sleeves didnít hide the cuts and bruises this time;
I couldnít go to work today because I didnít want anyone to knowóbut I know heís sorry;
Because he sent me flowers today.


I got flowers today!
And it wasnít Motherís Day or any other special day;
Last night he beat me again, and it was worse than all of the other times;
If I leave him, what will I do? How will I take care of the kids? What about money?
Iím afraid of him, but Iím too scared and dependent to leave him! But he must be sorry;
Because he sent me flowers today.



I got flowers todayÖ.
Today was a special dayóit was the day of my funeral;
Last night he killed me;
If only I would have gathered the courage and strength to leave him;
I could have received help from the Womenís Shelter, but I didnít ask for their help;
So I got flowers todayófor the last time.



This poem really hit home for me. It made me cry, because I think about a situation I had. I really hope that him being incarcerated benefits him as a person.
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  #106  
Old 09-05-2009, 06:24 PM
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So the poem really hit home for me because I remember the night my ex hung me over the the second story railing while his 3 year old daughter watched in horror. The next day I got flowers. That nigt he through me up against the wall and held me there. The next day I got flowers. The same day just like the night before he beat me but the next day I left. All I can say is that it is never ok to be hit by anyone. Love is NOT suppossed to hurt and if it does it is time to change things. I know now the first hit will be their last.
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  #107  
Old 09-05-2009, 06:44 PM
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I too got flowers everytime my exhusband was abusive to me. I hate it, but flowers mean nothing to me now. Thanks God I had the strength to leave!
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  #108  
Old 01-05-2010, 04:23 PM
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My man used to only hit me when he was drunk
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  #109  
Old 01-05-2010, 05:18 PM
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So if he kills you while he's drunk, is that OK?
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  #110  
Old 01-27-2010, 10:40 PM
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my abusive exhusband's current wife sent me that poem. I felt like telling her she should heed her own foreboding.

Ironically, he never gave me flowers.
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  #111  
Old 01-31-2010, 07:27 PM
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My ex never gave me flowers either. Just a bunch of I am so sorry and I made him so angry that he had to put me in my place. What a line of crap!
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  #112  
Old 02-01-2010, 02:00 AM
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I have never been in violent relationship like this. I have been abused though. This poem brought tears to my eyes. It really makes you think.
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  #113  
Old 02-01-2010, 02:33 AM
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Thankyou for sharing the poem, it is truely powerful.
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  #114  
Old 02-22-2010, 06:05 PM
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thanks for this poem as i was reading it i got goose bumps. I to am a former victim of d.v. funny part is i never received the flowers just a bunch of sorry's that didnt amount to anything but another beating the last was when i thought i was going to lose my life.So just to let others know it really does only get worse take it from me ive lived that life in fear all the time.Even when youre "happy" u have to walk on eggshells thats no life for anyone to not be able to just be themselves,and yes its hard, hard to leave hard to stay gone but use your head and prior experiences is all i can say.My own thought wave and GOD helped me thru my experience, i pray i can help others thru my own experience so they wont go thru what i did.
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  #115  
Old 02-23-2010, 11:02 AM
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Some of the stories remind me watching and listening to the severe abuse my mother went through with my father. God knows he tried to kill her but she finally left only after he threatened to do things to me. too late but better late than never. He never gave flowers either just a good warning on respecting him by saying "yes, sir", "no, sir" and speak only when spoken to. I gave him a dose of his own medicine when I reached my teen years and made him back down to me and told him I see him in hell if he ever tried to lay another hand on me.
I left shortly after I realized my relationship was spiraling down and it was getting dangerous. I was in denial for a very short while. afterwards he still tracked me down and threatened to kill me and said this all to my oldest daughter who was an early teenager.
I pray anyone going thru an abusive relationship gets the courage to leave before it's too late. It leaves a lasting effect on the children who witness the abuse not to mention the women or men. My mother hasn't forgotten yet.
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  #116  
Old 02-26-2010, 02:32 AM
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Let us not forget the brave ladies who fought for their lives only to get time for it.
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  #117  
Old 04-13-2010, 11:30 AM
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This poem makes me out & out sob. Not just misty eyed. Gut wrenching sobs. I think that this is the most emotional thing that I have ever read. I read it a few days ago, somehow managed to memorize it by reading that first tim & now break down as the words run through my mind.

The hopeful "I got flowers today!" is what does it.
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  #118  
Old 04-26-2010, 09:05 PM
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well after 8 yrs of drugs and abuse i finally left well made him leave.. i never have got flowers from him just a bunch of im sorrys or i fuc@ed up... when he started hitting my kids in the face i was done.. i am glad that my new man is not like that by a long shot. i have a history of dv now thanks to him. im glad i finally got brave enough to move on
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  #119  
Old 06-30-2010, 11:36 PM
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Wow, I almost broke down when reading this, I am a survior but I could have been one that was dead and accepting my flowers.. I love this poem and I am totally thankful for the awakening for this poem, I feel that every woman needs to read this and if they say oh he wont do it again, and then that again is never ending.. I love this poem... awesome reminder that we should leave while we can..
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  #120  
Old 06-30-2010, 11:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gg12 View Post
thanks for this poem as i was reading it i got goose bumps. I to am a former victim of d.v. funny part is i never received the flowers just a bunch of sorry's that didnt amount to anything but another beating the last was when i thought i was going to lose my life.So just to let others know it really does only get worse take it from me ive lived that life in fear all the time.Even when youre "happy" u have to walk on eggshells thats no life for anyone to not be able to just be themselves,and yes its hard, hard to leave hard to stay gone but use your head and prior experiences is all i can say.My own thought wave and GOD helped me thru my experience, i pray i can help others thru my own experience so they wont go thru what i did.
I totally agree with everything that you had said, its sad but its true what some of face and still able to stand and talk about it today
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  #121  
Old 06-30-2010, 11:40 PM
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Originally Posted by gabbygirl372001 View Post
I too got flowers everytime my exhusband was abusive to me. I hate it, but flowers mean nothing to me now. Thanks God I had the strength to leave!
I am glad you left, it took me to get almost killed and then I still tiried to justify why I stayed, God had to rip him out of my heart.. But a lesson learned..
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  #122  
Old 07-01-2010, 02:47 AM
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Some time ago, I copied this poem from here and put it into an email and sent it around. I put a paragraph at the beginning, something along the lines that there are times we want to say something, but dont know the words, and maybe this poem could help us reach out to a woman that needs support.

Long story short, the email did a few rounds, and then a woman I barely knew contacted me, the email had made its way to her inbox....said it had made her stop and think...... she is now apart from her previous partner, and starting to rebuild her life.

So our grateful thanks the author and also to the poster of this poem, you have changed another life.

Last edited by number8; 07-01-2010 at 02:48 AM..
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  #123  
Old 05-15-2011, 02:21 AM
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wow...very real...thank you.
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  #124  
Old 05-28-2011, 07:39 PM
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This is inspiring! Great post!
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  #125  
Old 09-21-2011, 04:48 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by queenmae2u View Post
I would like to add this to the poem thread for some readers to see some of the signs of a batterer. I hope it may help atleast one person or someone that you may know, God bless.....

LIST OF WARNING SIGNS HELPS WOMAN RECOGNIZE ABUSER

DEAR ABBY: In 1996, in memory of a 19-year-old battered woman who was murdered by her boyfriend, you printed an item requested by her family. It changed my life. On March 29 of that year, my dad said, "I have something for you," and handed me your column. It contained a list of 15 warning signs of a batterer. It was my wake-up call.

At first I thought, "How can this help ME?" Well, it did. No. 1 took me back to the beginning of my relationship with my fiance. By the time I reached No. 15, I had reviewed the past seven years of my life.

Few realize how important a role verbal abuse and criticism play in an abuser's efforts to gain control and keep you from leaving. The verbal abuse was harder for me to deal with than being kicked in the back when I'd walk away from one of his outbursts.

After reading that column, I finally understood there was nothing I could change about myself that would make him love me. Thank you, Abby. I wish I could let the family of the 19-year-old woman know they changed my life. -- GRATEFUL IN ILLINOIS

DEAR GRATEFUL: People often ask if I ever hear from readers letting me know how my columns have affected them. The answer is yes, and today I'll reprint that list in YOUR honor.

(1) PUSHES FOR QUICK INVOLVEMENT: Comes on strong, claiming, "I've never felt loved like this by anyone." An abuser pressures the new partner for an exclusive commitment almost immediately.

(2) JEALOUS: Excessively possessive; calls constantly or visits unexpectedly; prevents you from going to work because "you might meet someone"; checks the mileage on your car.

(3) CONTROLLING: Interrogates you intensely (especially if you're late) about whom you talked to and where you were; keeps all the money; insists you ask permission to go anywhere or do anything.

(4) UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS: Expects you to be the perfect mate and meet his or her every need.

(5) ISOLATION: Tries to cut you off from family and friends; accuses people who are your supporters of "causing trouble." The abuser may deprive you of a phone or car, or try to prevent you from holding a job.

(6) BLAMES OTHERS FOR PROBLEMS OR MISTAKES: It's always someone else's fault if something goes wrong.

(7) MAKES OTHERS RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS OR HER FEELINGS: The abuser says, "You make me angry," instead of "I am angry," or says, "You're hurting me by not doing what I tell you."

(8) HYPERSENSITIVITY: Is easily insulted, claiming hurt feelings when he or she is really mad. Rants about the injustice of things that are just a part of life.

(9) CRUELTY TO ANIMALS OR CHILDREN: Kills or punishes animals brutally. Also may expect children to do things that are far beyond their ability (whips a 3-year-old for wetting a diaper) or may tease them until they cry. Sixty-five percent of abusers who beat their partner will also abuse children.

(10) "PLAYFUL" USE OF FORCE DURING SEX: Enjoys throwing you down or holding you down against your will during sex; finds the idea of rape exciting.

(11) VERBAL ABUSE: Constantly criticizes or says blatantly cruel things; degrades, curses, calls you ugly names. This may also involve sleep deprivation, waking you with relentless verbal abuse.

(12) RIGID GENDER ROLES: Expects you to serve, obey, remain at home.

(13) SUDDEN MOOD SWINGS: Switches from sweet to violent in minutes.

(14) PAST BATTERING: Admits to hitting a mate in the past, but says the person "made" him (or her) do it.

(15) THREATS OF VIOLENCE: Says things like, "I'll break your neck," or "I'll kill you," and then dismisses them with, "Everybody talks that way," or, "I didn't really mean it."

ok so first of all im 19y/o second, this is just like my bf, this actually made me feel a little better b/c just last night i had to press charges, this was the 5th time he had put his hands on me bad, im so tired of this but i stayed with him because he had everything, like he took care of me, well today i was feeling alot of regret and scared to death about him comming back here (the police still have not 'found' him.) i realize now... i do not want to be this 19 y/o girl that this paper talked about, what am i goin to do now? i really dont know. i do know that i will never go back! this story really made me think, THANK YOU SO MUCH!
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