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When the Relationship is Over... This forum is about discussing your thoughts, feelings and issues now that you and your incarcerated (or formerly incarcerated) loved one are no longer together. (This forum is NOT for bashing - please read the rules before posting.)

View Poll Results: When did the relationship begin.
Met while incarcerated 118 38.69%
Met before incarceration. 187 61.31%
Voters: 305. You may not vote on this poll

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  #76  
Old 03-12-2017, 09:00 PM
jaee_13 jaee_13 is offline
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Originally Posted by NellaDeaux View Post
Yay! He passed the first test of being understanding. Next, what with "FAFSA" requirements, surely the summer semester will be financially limited.

Next, might I suggest that you propose to him the reality of you *ONLY* putting money on the phone vs. the canteen. ??? If he had to choose only one, which would it be?

* Lol I'm glad to back you... This is a sisterhood. And I'm versed in psychology and cyber security. I would love nothing more than to see you've been happy with your arrangement.

But remember, we all have issues. You are not an anomaly. Best wishes ...

Yes, I understand that. 😊 & I've asked him that too. He told me he'd rather talk because his family puts enough for him to get hygiene. if I can fine if not he understood because i do have a little girl..


You're awesome!! Do you have or know someone incarcerated? If u dont mind me asking..
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  #77  
Old 03-12-2017, 09:12 PM
NellaDeaux NellaDeaux is offline
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My husband is incarcerated (26 months). He was is my best friend and I wouldn't​ think to change a beat about anything, but he had drug issues and I'm fairly certain that this is saving him long-term.

If your man's family knows all about you and he's understanding then I wouldn't worry about it. Just plzzzzz make sure he doesn't view you as an asset because you're a CO.

I'm constantly going in on my man for complaining about female guards... He doesn't understand how it can be absolutely terrifying to have 100 violent men surrounding you when only armed with cuffs... Or whatever.

Just make sure you know he's worth it.
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  #78  
Old 03-12-2017, 10:14 PM
jaee_13 jaee_13 is offline
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Originally Posted by NellaDeaux View Post
My husband is incarcerated (26 months). He was is my best friend and I wouldn't​ think to change a beat about anything, but he had drug issues and I'm fairly certain that this is saving him long-term.

If your man's family knows all about you and he's understanding then I wouldn't worry about it. Just plzzzzz make sure he doesn't view you as an asset because you're a CO.

I'm constantly going in on my man for complaining about female guards... He doesn't understand how it can be absolutely terrifying to have 100 violent men surrounding you when only armed with cuffs... Or whatever.

Just make sure you know he's worth it.

Yes ma'am, I do believe he's worth it... Just reading on here & having people tell me stuff, it bothers me at times. I'm no longer a C.O. though. It was good, just very long hours... that was from 2011-2014. Now things are different. I really do thank you for writing & understanding!!! & yes if your husband does have a drug problem, I do believe jail will help!! I have someone close to me that needed that wake up call. & he's so well off, I'm proud of him!! The beginning was tough for him in finding work but i kept encouraging him & he finally caugbt a break. It will all work out!
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  #79  
Old 03-13-2017, 03:13 AM
NellaDeaux NellaDeaux is offline
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Him being worth it to you is the most important thing. I've been reading these stories off and on for years now, as him being in jail isn't a new concept... It's just the first time he's been sent to prison. I meant that he had 27 months, but 16 left to serve btw, lol.

I wouldn't worry too much about him asking for the hygiene products. $20 here and there isn't much at all. When I read that women are being asked to send money to other people or family members is when I worry. My husband has a $100 limit per week. So I know whether he's asking for too much by counting what he gets sent to him through his father, his God mother and myself. It sounds like maybe he just wanted some decent soap and a couple snacks, lol. I can completely understand how the horror stories can make you feel iffy about things.

Last edited by NellaDeaux; 03-13-2017 at 03:16 AM..
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  #80  
Old 06-05-2017, 07:11 PM
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a.rare.love a.rare.love is offline
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Originally Posted by jadedjada View Post
Lost,

I just feel my feelings and emotions have gotten out of hand at the moment. I am so out of control
and I need to get a grip on everything. I need to focus on me, and not make

my total existence about him and his getting out and starting our life together.


By the way, our "future" life together was just a fantasy. I guess I knew that all along, but I always hoped.

p.s.

everything was different when he "got out"
I just read this,it's old, but i hope this woman is ok 10 yrs. later. Can't make your "entire being/world/life about a guy. I think of men for a while now as J.A.M.,
& i always will til'he is proving himself by action, and nothing but action." Jam is ..."Just Another Man." Never let a man make you feel as if you're a woman whose "entire being" is defined by him.

"I learned this 2 D.V.,relationships ago, and i have been happy ever since,happier celibate for years on end,and happier even prior to being with my bff who i am engaged to currently," but my life will "never" be focus around him/him being my "world."I have never told him he is my life,my "everything."He said it and still do. But i also tell him don't say that. But he do lol I know better. .Good luck to this woman. I hope she is ok and happy somewhere tonight.
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Lead with your mind + not your heart...



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