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  #76  
Old 01-17-2009, 09:02 AM
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Nan....Your a good mom and don't you forget it! You just visiting him today is just one tiny thing that shows you are. Enjoy his hugs and hold in your heart that first smile he gives you today for this will help you through the harder days. Glad you found this forum to help lift you up when no one else will. Praying for your son and you to find some peace in all this.
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  #77  
Old 01-17-2009, 09:23 AM
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Hello Nan and Welkom here, it is a great place to find those who understand what you are going thru. You will meet many freinds here who will encourage you, support you, pray w/you.
Please dont feel guilty... I am sorry to say that our kids made their own choices, and we only did our best for them.
Glad you will be able to hug your son on this visit. my son was in county for nearly 3 yrs then prison another yr before we had contact visits. last week was our first contact in 4 yrs. and was sure needing that HUG. and he was ready to hug his kids.!!
come here whenever you need to, we are here for you.

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  #78  
Old 01-17-2009, 05:35 PM
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Default We have a lost new Mom

Hi Ya'll, we have a lost new Mom posting on a really old thread (BUBBARUSTY) she needs hugs, Debbie, D'gal, Wendy,PTRose, you guys are so much better with words than I am. Can you reach out. I Love U Guys, Hugs, Joni
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  #79  
Old 01-17-2009, 05:40 PM
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I am stell learning could you tell me where the old thread.I am not to good with words.But I will try.
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  #80  
Old 01-17-2009, 06:55 PM
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Welcome Nan to this little site of ours. We all come here and vent, cry, welcome new ones that are searching for information and new to the prison system. You have found a wonderful support site where people will reach out and try to help you. It is a hard journey we all are on, but we all pick one another up and keep going. So glad you are getting a visit tomorrow. That should help you to make it in the days ahead! Prayers and Hugs to you!
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  #81  
Old 01-17-2009, 07:16 PM
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Hello to all. Just got back from visiting my son. The visit went really well. He seems to be doing okay. He's lost about 20 pounds, but it didnt hurt him. He got kinda chunky in county. The hug was great, the visit just wasnt long enough. He wouldn't let us stay the whole time, cause its a 3 1/2 hour drive one way and he wanted me home before dark. Anyway just wanted to share. Have a blessed rest of the day
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  #82  
Old 01-17-2009, 07:32 PM
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Thanks for sharing, sounds like he is a loving, caring son. We get our first visit in about 12 1/2 hours.
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  #83  
Old 01-17-2009, 07:37 PM
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Originally Posted by Nan431958 View Post
Hello to all. Just got back from visiting my son. The visit went really well. He seems to be doing okay. He's lost about 20 pounds, but it didnt hurt him. He got kinda chunky in county. The hug was great, the visit just wasnt long enough. He wouldn't let us stay the whole time, cause its a 3 1/2 hour drive one way and he wanted me home before dark. Anyway just wanted to share. Have a blessed rest of the day


So happy for you.And glad you visit when well.
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  #84  
Old 01-17-2009, 07:59 PM
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I have really been spending alot of time on this site. I really like the people on here. All of you have very kind words for me. My son can't appeal he pled guilty we were told he might get 1-3 and possibly as much as 5 years. So when the judge give him 10 years we were so speechless. When I got to hug him before they took him from us I almost passed out. He just hugged me real tight until i gain my composure. He's seems to be the strong one in this situation. How can that be? Breaks my heart several times a day! Cant imagine going 10 years with all of this, but I will never regret one day as long as I get to have my baby back. God gave him to me, Devil you cant have him He's mine!!!!
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  #85  
Old 01-17-2009, 08:05 PM
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I'm not sure how it works but i would find out about sentence reduction if you can't appeal and I would like to know how many lawmakers, judges, PD etc. kids have had underage sex? Or themselves for that matter?
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  #86  
Old 01-17-2009, 11:48 PM
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I am so angry with my son for putting us all through this once again. Leaving his 4 little girls behind; crying' missing their daddy and not understanding. I don't know how to ease my grand daughters pain or answer their questions. I can't write him for the anger I feel, my letters would just bring him down even more and I don't want to do that either. I hate feeling like this and the tears I've cried could fill an ocean. My heart hurts, I can't sleep or eat right. My head hurts from the worry of it all. I just can't think straight any more. There is a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach all the time. I don't understand why he wasn't happy with the life he had made when he came home the first time. Why he fell back into his old ways-dealing drugs! It sickens me to the point of no return. I just want to shake the crap out of him for throwing his life away again and making so many others hurt in the process. Do they ever learn? I pray every night for strength to get us all through this once more. Yet I love him more than life itself. He is my first born and I hurt for him too. Being away from his girls and not being able to see them for the next 2 years and it's been 7 months already. He loves his girls and they adore him. Tears again. I can't even talk about it without crying. Then I stop and think maybe God thought he had more to learn!
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  #87  
Old 01-18-2009, 01:25 AM
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Oh Mom dukes--each and EVERY parent here has been where you are right now in your journey. Makes me cry right now remembering how that feels---my son has been gone now for two long years, and he has two to go. He too is a father. His children know where he is now, we told them at first their daddy was at school. They were only five, and seven at the time. It gets better, the anger will lessen and you will be able to write and tell him what is going on at home. It took me nine months before I could forgive my son for what he had done. In EVERY letter he wrote he asked me to forgive him, he was so sorry. So ALL of us know your pain, we have felt it, and are all here for you. There are some of the best friends you could ask for right here at PTO. We all love the heck out of our children. I am going to pray for you, and your family. God Bless.
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  #88  
Old 01-18-2009, 06:05 AM
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momofyoungimate...did your son accept a plea bargain? Please PM if you wanna talk ok? I'm here for you. I can relate ALL TOO WELL! Hang in there. Hugs!
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  #89  
Old 01-18-2009, 08:21 AM
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I'm so sorry. I, too, was very angry at first and couldnt understand why he threw his life away. We didnt talk for almost a year because all we would do is fight, and I was making things worse. Eventually I came to accept it was his decision, and all I could do was forgive him and love him unconditionally.
We have a very good relationship now and I visit when I can and write a few times a week. The anger does subside, I promise you.
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  #90  
Old 01-18-2009, 08:33 AM
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momofyounginmate... good question romankins. here in arizona - if you take a plea bargain, you have a certain amount of time to recant it. dont know if that is everywhere, but worth checking into.

mom dukes. welkom and I am so sorry for your pain. we do understand what you are feeling, we have all walked there.
my son - the first couple times were just for doing drugs. this time he was dealing meth. here in az even though he had served all his time out on other times, they added repeat offender. dont remember the amount of yrs he would have gotten because on top of that was a false charge of conspiracy to murder. he got 25-life. he is 38 and has children @ home. I was so devastated it took me a yr to re-gain control of myself. my grandchildren miss their dad. we take them as often as we can to visit him...just had our first contact visit in 4 yrs. if he stays the 25.. the kids will be grown and have their own families, he will be in his mid 60's and I wont even be here to see him walk out. we write as often as we can and just remind him that though we are hurt, we love him unconditionally.
this is not an easy journey. it is full of road pits, boulders blocking our path. darkness at times. alone it is a scary and almost impossible way. but together we stand and help each other to get thru to the other side. and the Lord walks with us, giving strength and light and comfort.
we are here for you and will do all we can to help you along this journey.

hugs
d'gal
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  #91  
Old 01-18-2009, 08:43 AM
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anyone know anything about Milan? Anyone live in VA with loved ones there? Anyone just live in Richmond,VA with loved ones in FCI anywhere. Would love to hear from you. Would love to have a girls night out, dinner, movie, whatever we come up with. I do this with my own girls and my son's girlfriends. Helps to keep us connected. It's lots of fun and we can share thoughts, feeling; just communicate on the same level.
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  #92  
Old 01-20-2009, 08:57 PM
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Hi to all. Just reading through this thread and it helps to know that others feel the pain of having a child in prison. My 19 yo son has just starting serving a very long sentence for felony DUI/death results. He had just finished his first year in college and make a terrible decision to drive after partying with some friends. My family and I were and still are devastated. My heart breaks for all the families involved and I am trying to cope the best that I can. I will stand by him as long as I breathe. He got saved before he went and in the several months before his plea bargin, he helped so many youth in our church and some of his old friends. I cannot even imagine how hard this road is going to be and the first Christmas without him was awful. I know the Lord is with me or I wouldn't be able to keep going. Thanks for listening to this long post. I pray daily for all here on PTO and am so glad I have found this site.
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  #93  
Old 01-20-2009, 09:06 PM
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Hi to all. Just reading through this thread and it helps to know that others feel the pain of having a child in prison. My 19 yo son has just starting serving a very long sentence for felony DUI/death results. He had just finished his first year in college and make a terrible decision to drive after partying with some friends. My family and I were and still are devastated. My heart breaks for all the families involved and I am trying to cope the best that I can. I will stand by him as long as I breathe. He got saved before he went and in the several months before his plea bargin, he helped so many youth in our church and some of his old friends. I cannot even imagine how hard this road is going to be and the first Christmas without him was awful. I know the Lord is with me or I wouldn't be able to keep going. Thanks for listening to this long post. I pray daily for all here on PTO and am so glad I have found this site.



I know what you are going throw.This is the first Christmas without my son.And it has bend ruff.But with the Lords help and the family at PTO We will make it.
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  #94  
Old 01-20-2009, 09:08 PM
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Welcome Michael's mama, I am so sorry to hear of your son. 19, so very young, his whole life ahead and one terrible mistake. They think they are so invincible. I stress to my kids about drinking and driving all the time and what can happen. You know at that age they never imagine something like this will happen. I so feel for you having to go through this and your son. My prayers and heart go out to you. I used to go through Rock Hill on the way to see my son in SC. Feel free to come here and post your heart away. We are all here to listen and help and we all know your heartache. It never ends, but we all make it every day and this place has really been a wonderful lifesaver for me. Just to find other people going through the same pain as I because no one around me understands. Only my PTO family! Hugs! Debbie
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  #95  
Old 01-20-2009, 10:08 PM
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My son is in prison for the first and I pray last time. This is all so new to me and it is so hard. He is an achoclic and had a wreack( Thank The Lord NoOne was hurt) He had it while he was drunk. He had been sober for over a year when he got sentenced. It was his decision but the past caught up with him. And he got 3 years. His PRD is 12/9/2009. I pray it will not be that long. He has come up for parole and was denied. He has no marks on him in prison. He was sentenced 8 /2008. I have heard he will probably have to do 6 months but with him getting denied I just don't know. I am lost without him around. He is a decent young man ( 43) he just made some bad choices. Please pray for him & Me and I will do the same for all of you. I am in bad health and REALLY need my son close. Thanks for letting me vent. God bless
Hi there Fancy Rebel I too have a son in prison, for the 2nd time. I have a quick question for you. I have been posting penpal ads for him and some of his friends. How do you get the bold dark print on your posts? I don't see an option for selecting bold print. Thanks for any help.
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Old 01-21-2009, 01:22 AM
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Originally Posted by momofyoungimate View Post
Hello, I am here cause my 15 year old son was sentenced on 1/6/09 to 10 years in state prison as an adult offender. He was convicted of a sex crime. I am scared to death what might happen to him. When he was arrest at 14 we were told the most he might get was 1 - 3 years worse case scenerio. Well, the judge wasnt giving light sentences that day. How can a 14 year old konw what he is doing is going to ruin his life. Can anyone give me any suggestions? This is in Mississippi so I have no clue what I am up against here. Thanks for reading and I hope I can talk to you all about this. Please feel free to talk to me.
10 yrs for a 15 yr old? my heart goes out to you, i know the fear you are experiencing. i hope he will be housed with juveniles and not adults?
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Old 01-21-2009, 02:13 AM
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Hi mom of young mate. My heart goes out to you. My son was 17 at the time of his crime and they charged him as an adult too. I will never as long as I live understand how the authorities can charge juveniles as adults no matter what the crime, because juveniles' brains haven't completely matured plus their brains do not fully understand consequences. Why do we even have juvenile laws if we are going to be so darned discriminatory on who to apply them to. If they are juveniles by age then they should all be charged as juveniles. I live in Mississippi, but my son is in an Alabama prison so I actually know more about their system. I wish we knew where to begin to try to get all of the states to unilaterally use the juvenile laws as they were intended. If I knew how to try to change that law I would do it in a heartbeat. My son wound up growing up in prison. Luckily he met some decent guys that helped show him the ropes and he did fine and hopefully your son will too. Just be sure he doesn't choose the wrong ones to trust. There are almost always some decent guys in there willing to show the ropes to the younger men coming in because they remember when they were young and scared and are glad someone was willing to help them. Hang in there...you are learning you certainly aren't in this boat alone. In fact I am getting ready to join a group here in Mississippi called Mothers of Inmates. It is going to meet at our town library on the 24th of January. There may be such a group in your town, if so go to those meetings and you can learn specific things for Mississippi. Good luck hon, we are all in this together.
Warmly,
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  #98  
Old 01-21-2009, 05:09 AM
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welkom Michaels Mom & Doeadear. I glad you found a place to come to share and find friends who understand what you are going thru. We are here to encourage, support, offer our shoulders to cry on, our ears when you need to vent. we offer our hearts to pray for you and your loved one inside.
this is a hard journey but together we can do it ! We are MOMS !

hugs n prayers
d'gal
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Old 01-21-2009, 07:28 AM
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Hi Michaels Mom, i am so sorry for your pain, my son also is in for VOP for a DUI, no accident but I have repeatly warned him what could happen. It is so devastating what that decision can cause to happen. You and your son have my prayers. You will find much support here.
And welcome back doeadear, I see you are not new to PTO but new to many of us,
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  #100  
Old 01-21-2009, 12:34 PM
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Hi Michael's Mom ... I am sorry about your son. I will keep him and your family in my prayers. It is so difficult to watch our children make such poor decisions that have such devastating consequences. I know my son thought he was invincible, and that I did not really understand his life. Unfortunately, he started using drugs at a young age and did not stop even though he went through jail sentences twice. Now he is in prison, where, hopefully he will meet those who will be kind and show him the ropes. My heart goes out to you and your family. Keep coming back to PTO, pwcip, this is where I find comfort and support ... and I find those parents who truly understand and feel my pain.
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