Welcome to the Prison Talk Online Community! Take a Minute and Sign Up Today!






Go Back   Prison Talk > LOVING A... > Loving a Lifer
Register Entertainment FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read

Loving a Lifer For those whose loved one is serving a life sentence.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #51  
Old 07-26-2017, 05:51 PM
nygirl17 nygirl17 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,745
Thanks: 103
Thanked 1,600 Times in 1,042 Posts
Default

Well as you know everyone has an opinion and when you post on a public site you might not always here what you want to here and if we agree or not your going to do what's best for you.
IMO why would you want to bring a child into this life??? I never wanted to be the wife of a prisoner I would never make a child suffer with the absence of his or her parent by choice. My daughter who was 17 almost lost it I couldn't imagine chosing this life for any child. Ugh. I agree it's selfish and wrong. Children deserve to be able to run and play and enjoy time and do things with their parents what kind of life is a visit in a visiting room. I just think it's wrong to bring a child up in a world full of prison visits and timed phone calls. You may not like my response but it is what it is.
__________________


Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to nygirl17 For This Useful Post:
4EverYoung1 (07-27-2017), Kbsles (10-30-2017)
Sponsored Links
  #52  
Old 07-27-2017, 08:06 AM
WaitingWilkes WaitingWilkes is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Tennessee, USA
Posts: 1,009
Thanks: 610
Thanked 736 Times in 424 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bryanna814 View Post
Ok... i agree with what you are writing about. But we all take risks everyday.. driving, seat belt or no seat belt... using the phone while driving, crossing the street, sending our kids to school. If you are kayaking, or hiking in beautiful weather and then in a matter of seconds it starts thundering, lighting and raining, then it is our responsibility to come up with a solution to the unpredictable, uncontrollable weather.
So my point is... it is our choices, and what solutions we come up with for our choices that are controlled and our uncontrollable choices is how we need to live pur lives.. the only 3 things that are for certain in our lives are... birth, death and taxes, everything else is our lives are unpredictable.
You're the only one qualified to decide what constitutes an acceptable level of risk for you. The risk/reward model seems pretty straightforward in your case. The greater the potential reward, the greater the potential risk.
Attached Images
File Type: gif concepts1_riskreturn.gif (6.9 KB, 26 views)

Last edited by WaitingWilkes; 07-27-2017 at 08:11 AM..
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to WaitingWilkes For This Useful Post:
4EverYoung1 (07-27-2017)
  #53  
Old 07-27-2017, 08:42 AM
yourself yourself is offline
attorney
 

Join Date: May 2010
Location: around
Posts: 11,442
Thanks: 4,015
Thanked 19,871 Times in 7,141 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bryanna814 View Post
It is your choice not to have children and other peoples choice to have children.
And once again, i am sorry that you personally do not have a support system of friends and family in your life. Now that is heart breaking
1. never assume not having children was a matter of choice

2. a lack of support system is what you get when your brother is in prison and you, by virtue of your profession, hang around with criminals and attorneys all day
Reply With Quote
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to yourself For This Useful Post:
4EverYoung1 (07-27-2017), Bryanna814 (07-27-2017), choclgs (07-28-2017), DanjoBee (08-02-2017), Fridyrr.Likn (07-27-2017), miamac (07-27-2017), patchouli (07-27-2017), Taliba00 (07-27-2017)
  #54  
Old 07-27-2017, 09:44 AM
Bryanna814's Avatar
Bryanna814 Bryanna814 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Illinois
Posts: 214
Thanks: 183
Thanked 128 Times in 92 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by yourself View Post
1. never assume not having children was a matter of choice

2. a lack of support system is what you get when your brother is in prison and you, by virtue of your profession, hang around with criminals and attorneys all day
I absolutely meant no disrespect at all.
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Bryanna814 For This Useful Post:
4EverYoung1 (07-27-2017), Fridyrr.Likn (07-27-2017), KobeDeuce (08-05-2017)
  #55  
Old 08-01-2017, 02:32 PM
smiles844 smiles844 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Pennsylvania, USA
Posts: 189
Thanks: 32
Thanked 123 Times in 83 Posts
Default

Why not? Seems you have put a lot of thought and consideration into this matter..True, there will be MANY obstacles and challenges to overcome, and very unique challenges at that, but many joys and blessings too...if it's meant to be, it'll be...
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to smiles844 For This Useful Post:
4EverYoung1 (11-23-2017)
  #56  
Old 10-09-2017, 10:55 PM
ajohns913 ajohns913 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Pennsylvania, United States
Posts: 40
Thanks: 0
Thanked 9 Times in 9 Posts
Default

I would say go for it if you are prepared. Unfortunately, I am in a state where conjugals and family visits dont occur. There is no chance in hell I would be able to procreate with my love. I wish I could because I would. We are fighting for his freedom now
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to ajohns913 For This Useful Post:
4EverYoung1 (11-23-2017)
  #57  
Old 10-31-2017, 12:02 AM
Kbsles Kbsles is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 3,689
Thanks: 31
Thanked 21 Times in 9 Posts
Default

Having a child is not about the parents, itís about the child. Perhaps explaining what the upsides are for the child about having a parent in prison with a life sentence might help those of us who donít understand why you would willingly or perhaps willfully would be more accurate, do this.

Iíve raised three with their father out here and am so grateful for the stability he provided to them. While I love my lifer and we have talked many times wistfully about what it would have been like to have had a child together, I know that the reality of that would have been fraught with difficulty.

It is hard enough to raise children in a loving two parent home adding the harshness of prison and the negative impact it has on families just seems to me to be unfair to an innocent.
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Kbsles For This Useful Post:
4EverYoung1 (11-23-2017), nimuay (10-31-2017)
  #58  
Old 11-23-2017, 03:28 PM
4EverYoung1 4EverYoung1 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Los Angeles County
Posts: 300
Thanks: 18
Thanked 18 Times in 11 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sean'sGirl82 View Post
There are women who decide that they want to have a baby and are single and successful and go to the sperm bank. The situation is not ideal but it works for that woman. Everyone has a different set up. Families don't all look the same. Single parents adopt, gay couples adopt the list goes on. Some women have babies by men in the military and the fathers are gone most of the time. My first husband is a loser and pays child support but never comes around to see his child. Do you know who my Children absolutely love and adore and talk to on a regular basis? My new Husband and not the bio father of my children but they look at him like he is and he feels the same about them. They talk to him on the phone daily and are excited to go see him and play games together. He isn't doing life but I could see this working out for us long term if that was what the situation was. Some kids lose their parents in different ways at least if you have a baby by your husband doing life he can still be in that child's life just not 24/7 like you would want of course. That is just my two cents.
Thank you, for your reply and sharing.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Marrying a lifer and divorcing a lifer Mrssweat Loving a Lifer 8 07-06-2016 07:59 PM
No way to get child support from a lifer justdontknow Raising Children with Parents in Prison 6 10-25-2012 06:19 AM
Are you the mother of a child whose father is a "lifer"? jes6301 Raising Children with Parents in Prison 0 08-03-2009 10:24 AM
Has anyone heard that the "child lifer law" was overturned? Lavender Michigan Prison and Legal News & Events 7 12-12-2008 10:53 AM


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 02:03 AM.
Copyright © 2001- 2017 Prison Talk Online
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Website Design & Custom vBulletin Skins by: Relivo Media
Message Board Statistics