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Loving a Lifer For those whose loved one is serving a life sentence.

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  #1  
Old 10-14-2011, 11:10 AM
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I am 33. I have been with my lifer for 8plus years and married to him for 4. During the first 4 years I knew him I had a child by another man, and during our 4 years of marriage I have dated here and there . I have posted previously about having a hard time being alone out here, probably because I am so young and am raising 3 daughters alone. So how do YOU do it? Do you date, do you have f buddies, or do you just stay alone out here? I am just asking because I have known this one guy for 23 years and in the last year we have gotten close however have had to lay it on the line a few times to him I am married, I love my husband, however he isnt here, and shouldnt be a threat. Maybe I just want my cake and to eat it too. My hubby is fine with whatever he knows where my heart is... still working on the balance. I find if I here your stories it gives me encouragement. I just feel less alone. They say you shoudnt be with the someone you can live with but the someone you cant live without... THIS would be my husband therefore he is going nowhere. Is there a balance here?
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Old 10-14-2011, 01:01 PM
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How do I do it? Not sure, I just do.

Although I am sure having a stong husband/faith/great family helps.

I have know him for 25 years, since the age of 12 and even then we knew we would marry. At 37 is this where I thought we would be? NO!! But it is. I never give up prayer/hope that we will get him home nor does he. We are best friends, tell each other everything, each others biggest supporter so I never feel like I am carrying the load of this journey alone.

I go out with my nieces/nephews, spend time with my family, a lot of time with my children doing arts/crafts/puzzles/baking basically just enjoying them/being a Mom. My me time I go out to lunch/shopping/day spa etc. just things I like to do. I don't have a f buddy and don't date romantically. I have 2 male friends, one is married but we are so much alike it's scary. His wife is going through a crazy period and he does often say if she had to walk a day in my shoes she wouldn't be strong enough (I'm flattered) the other, we went to high school together, he went through a rough time due to the economy about a year ago (I was one of the few who stood by him) he's now an over the road truck driver but when he is home a few days each month, we go out to eat have play dates or just hang out and talk about life. I feel like I can tell these two guys any/everything and they do the same. They are some of the very few that actually understand/respect my love/relationship with Eric. It's been almost 15 years since he's been away and I still have moments where I can't believe this is happening. Thankfully I am blessed with a strong husband and good friends.
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Old 10-14-2011, 02:33 PM
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My man has been gone 2 years. I never thought I would have waited for him. I always told him if he ever goes to jail because of his friends, I would never wait. I told him expect me to be gone the very next day.
But here I am... tomorrow is our 18th anniversary. I am 32 yrs old and have been with him since I was 14 yrs old. We have never taken a break from each other or ever seperated.
Now what do I do?... I keep faith that god will reunited us soon.
I live on hope right now. I don't go out. I drink at home sometimes with family and friends. I try to avoid places where I could easily be tempted to cheat on my man.
I spend time with our kids and take them to the park or carnival or whatever. I keep myself busy which isn't hard to do when you are a mother, provider and own a home. So there is always plenty of crap for me to do around the house or with the kids etc. Right now I am just living on hope and I don't want to mess up our relationship. I want him to know I am still his and only his until all hope is gone.
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Old 10-14-2011, 02:46 PM
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I do it, just by staying extremly busy, I have a full-time (plus) career, have to take care of our home, yard, ect., our children are grown but I try to catch up with each of them at least once a week (we have always had what we call the WOW Rule.. Mom has to see the Whites(of your eyes) Once a Week) also we have nieces and nephews that keep me busy and I help out at our church, add the drive for visits in there and I don't have time for anything else
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Old 10-14-2011, 02:49 PM
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I have been with my husband since junior high. We dated all through school, our parents are best friends, we even went to the same college. I had never really been with anyone else but him. When he went to prison at first we were still together but after a few years he and I (more him) agreed that for this to work I needed to "experience" the world or whatever, we still wrote and were what we considered together.i would go out and even dated a few times but it was nothing, my heart was with j. A year or so after that i already knew I wasnt going to be with anyone but him. We eventually got married by proxy. we both were 20 when he went in and he has been in 15yrs already, so we are now 35. I don't have kids and never will. How I manage is I have a great support system, his family, my family we are all really close.i keep myself busy with school in two years I will be a pediatric cardiologist so I have been doing residency that keeps me busy. I volunteer alot at soup kitchens,church and homeless shelters. I just stay busy, i try to do everything he and I always talked about doing together. When I get lonely I have a girls night with my friends. When I long for kids I babysit our nieces and nephew and that help alot with that.Its hard but I love him he gave up his life for me so I owe him to be loyal.hope that helps!!!

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Old 10-14-2011, 07:41 PM
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I've known my husband for almost 10 years been together almost 9 years. I stay busy. My nephews and niece are my sleeping buddies if I need. My friends are the best at keeping me busy and keeping my mins off this mess. And I write my husband a lot and I tell him that I miss him and that helps a lot too.
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Old 10-15-2011, 01:01 AM
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Much respect for the ones that have hold it down for many years! I've only been with my man for a lil bit more than a year and have known him for 14yrs.. My plan is to stay by him for it all, and the way I see it ''is either give it ur all or nothing at all''... I'm sorry but I don't agree with having a fuck...buddy out here. If your man was okay with u doing ur thing than maybe its okay with him being with other females and that just makes no sence.. As far as how I do it?! I haven't been here for very much time, so I couldn't comment on that..
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Old 10-15-2011, 10:33 AM
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I have been with my hubby throughout this entire ordeal. We have known each other since junior high. I love him completely! Body heart and soul!! I try not and look at the negative side of being married to a lfer. Rather thank God each day for another day on earth, our beautiful children and for having my hubby in my life.

I never allowed his sentence hinder me from living. I did lots of traveling, went out with friends, even tried a couple dates to see if I could move on, but in the end I am exactly where and who I am meant to be with.

I look at marriage then just a piece if paper. If you wanted to have a F Buddy then you should not have gotten married in my opinion. I don't care what he says, it has got to hurt him to know you are out there with someon else. I was on the phone with ny hubby when I was reading your post. He said he'd rather not be with me then to think of me out here with another man.

I think the balance comes with your outlook.
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Old 10-15-2011, 07:42 PM
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One day at a time, that's how I do it. I have many friends, and yes also many male friends, some of them have a crush on me and tell me they are so much in love with me. I am with my husband for 8 years now (I know I said 9 in another post, but it is 8) and I have never even kissed another man. He is LWOP and thus we do not have conjugal visits and I am living in celibacy. No friendships with benefits. My heart is with one man only and really, just to think of being with another man, kissing another man, makes me sick to my stomach. I love my husband and he is the only one that can ever kiss me as long as I am with him.
I know that everyone is not the same, and I think that you must do what feels good for you and your husband. If he is okay with friendships with benefits and if that is what you want, then go for itl But the moment it hurts you or him, stop and rethink what you really want. As long as you stay honest. Personally I think it is playing with fire, one day you will get burned.
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Old 10-16-2011, 09:28 AM
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Hi me and R are a new couple.I am recently divorced and he has been in for 10 years. I knew he was special from the beginning of our relationship.we are both 44 he is facing LWP and he goes up in February. He is worried if he doest get parole I will get discouraged, but I try to reassure him I'm busy all the time and since I decided to stad by him I also decided to be reserved for him only.I have faith he will come home to me soon in Gods time and ill be waiting for him. I go weekly to see him and missed last weekend was out of state but we missed each other so much ,I could sense it when I saw him yesterday. Well kepp on keepin and its good we have this site fr support no one I know understands how I feel.
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Old 10-16-2011, 07:40 PM
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My respect to all of you. I know it is not easy... What else can I say. I hope the men in your life appreciate your sacrifices... And I hope all their decisions are based on your relationships! You put them first, they should put all of you first. The original thread - If that works for you and your husband... Bam. Sometimes body and soul are hard to separate. But if all players are aware of the rules... All mature, what works for one may not work for another. Again, my respect to ALL of you...
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Old 10-16-2011, 10:31 PM
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Thanks ladies again I just needed a little encouragement here. I try to keep busy myself. Just graduated 4 years of college, I have a full time job working for hospice, and my 3 daughters. I knew this life wouldn't be easy when I married my husband, however I cant imagine my life without him. Was just curious how ya'll spend your time.
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Old 10-16-2011, 10:38 PM
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What I didnt get the chance to say in my post is that I agree there are different rules for everyone, and what works for one couple may not work for another. My husband has told me from day one he cant give me everything I deserve and that he knows where my heart is AND is ok with me having a relationship out here... it sounds crazy to me and feels even crazier. As busy as I am I need to stop living my life like I am too behind bars this has always been an issue for me even before I met him. One day I will figure it all out. Again was just feeling alone, and reading all your post I know Im not... thanks again!
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Old 10-18-2011, 04:40 PM
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As everyone else has said you just have to keep busy. I personally would never be able to have a F. buddy simply because my heart is with Teddy, for women sex is so emotional.... I can not allow that to happen because emotionally, mentally and spiritually I am with 300% his so why would I throw that away for sex. Nope not me, I read a lot, I work full time and I am in college. I have great friends and family and I have my man. A word of advice : "He'll tell you that he wants you to be happy,and that he doesn't want his situation to stop you from living." He'll tell you those things because he loves you, if you love him half as much you'll tell him that you are living your life and that your good with the situation because you have him" If you tell him these things mean it. I hope that this post helps you
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Old 10-21-2011, 08:28 AM
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I don't believe in fck buddies. I believe that you are completely IN the relationship a 100% or you are completely OUT the relationship a 100% - buy a vibrator and porn. Occupy your time. He's not fcking anybody else so why should you?

I don't mean to be so blunt about it all I just speak what I feel.

staying strong for him.<3
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Old 10-21-2011, 06:12 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lagoyapolaka View Post
I don't believe in fck buddies. I believe that you are completely IN the relationship a 100% or you are completely OUT the relationship a 100% - buy a vibrator and porn. Occupy your time. He's not fcking anybody else so why should you?

I don't mean to be so blunt about it all I just speak what I feel.

staying strong for him.<3
According to your own information your guy gets out in seven years.....you might feel differenly if he were doing life. Also you've only been with him a few months, again, not exactly the same thing as being with him for years.

No offense, but until you walk in our shoes you have no idea of what you are speaking.
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Old 10-21-2011, 07:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JKB's Girl

According to your own information your guy gets out in seven years.....you might feel differenly if he were doing life. Also you've only been with him a few months, again, not exactly the same thing as being with him for years.

No offense, but until you walk in our shoes you have no idea of what you are speaking.
Thanks for doing the same thing that we all talk about others doing...JUDGE! regardless if I've been with him a few months or a few years...being away from the one you love and care about is hard.

staying strong for him.<3
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Old 10-21-2011, 08:42 PM
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I don't care if my man was doing one week, one year or 100 years. I am committed to him heart, body and soul.
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Old 10-21-2011, 09:10 PM
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Quote:
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I don't care if my man was doing one week, one year or 100 years. I am committed to him heart, body and soul.
Exactly...as it should be

staying strong for him.<3
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Old 10-22-2011, 12:01 AM
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Thanks for doing the same thing that we all talk about others doing...JUDGE! regardless if I've been with him a few months or a few years...being away from the one you love and care about is hard.

staying strong for him.<3
It is what it is, and having to face that life sentence makes the choices we make different than some others face. In my seven years membership on PTO I've seen it go many different ways in all different forums.

I've seen some gal come on here swearing she could do this walk....then a few months, or a few years go by and how hard it is starts to get to them and before you know it, they are gone, the relationship is over, and that is no slap to them at all. This is hard. It is not meant for everyone and you add that life sentence on top of it, it just got a lot harder.

We each find different ways in which to do this walk and standing by a lifer or worse a death row inmate changes the whole aspect of the relationship, in my opinion. So just because someone chooses to do their walk differently than others does not make them less committed to their lifer.

All I'm saying is that someone to come over here without the life sentence hanging over their heads and say how they should stay 100% faithful, well.......you ain't doing this, so me personally, I ain't listening to someone tell me to stay 100% faithful when you don't have a clue as to what you are talking about. You get your man home in a few years, being faithful for you is different than being faithful for us.

My man has been in 33 years, I've done over 7 of those years with him and we have several more to go before he sees the outside of those fences, so I'm not about to listen to someone who is going to get their man home soon on how to do this walk. But that's me.

If someone really wants to know what its like to do this walk as a lifer lover than they need to read this thead:

http://www.prisontalk.com/forums/sho...d.php?t=563061
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Old 10-22-2011, 09:58 AM
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We have only been together for 2 1/2 years, so I can say I'm still pretty new to the whole prison thing.
I am committed but I told myself right on from the beginning that I won't give up my own life for this relationship. I try to visit him as often as I can but I will not give up travelling and seeing the world because I need the money to go to the US and visit him. He always says just because he is in prison that does not mean that I have to live like a prisoner as well.
Right now, we can handle the lack of physical contact (the only physical contact is the one in the visiting room) quite well, but I have to say that I cannot see myself living without sex for the rest of my life, and he knows that. (I'm not only talking about sex but mostly about body contact, hugging someone, sleeping in the arms of someone you love. A vibrator and porn are great options when it comes to your own satisfaction but unfortunately a vibrator cannot kiss you and hold you, they can never replace the closeness that you feel when being with the person you love)
That's why I just cannot see myself being married to someone who is never with me cause I know it would be torture not only for me but also for him, maybe one day we will change our minds when it comes to marriage but not for the moment.
One step after the other, one day at a time.....

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Old 10-22-2011, 11:08 AM
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I totally get the fact that most choose to stay 100% committed to their guy and I admire those that can do that.....and if he were getting out, if I knew there was going to be a day when I was going to see him walk out those gates and into my arms, free of DOC finally, then being able to give that 100% commitment would probably come a little easier. This is me, this isn't anyone else.

I just don't get why people feel the need to tell someone else how they should do their time when a life sentence is involved. I've never understood how someone could say that they've never questioned their commitment, not saying it couldn't happen, just saying I don't get it.

When over the past several years I've seen so many of us run the gamut from being head over heels, crazy in love, to the days of "I can't do this anymore". Who doesn't go thru this???? How can you not?

When you are waking up every day to the fact that they are not there, they may never be there, the one your body and soul aches for with almost a physical pain isn't there, when you go to visit and sit there so close and know you cannot be with them in the intimate way you feel will drive you mad if you can't and you just can't understand why, why, why, why, why.......why can't I be with him alone for just a few minutes, I need to be held by him away from the prying eyes of all around us.....no matter how much we get into each others head and lock hands, eyes, and even lips for a few stolen seconds, there is always the awareness that we are being watched.

When we are deprived of some of the most basic instincts of being paired with your heartmate, then it is only normal to question at times the ability to continue without seeking solace elsewhere. I don't know, maybe I'm the odd one out here, it wouldn't be the first or even the last time, I'm sure.

Are you all so certain that you will not wake up one day and wonder if you haven't given up the best years of your life? Life does not hand you a do-over.

I'm not trying to steer anyone away from their commitment to their lifer, I have been with him thru several parole denials and each one has been gut wrenching, but I am still here. We are both however very aware of the realities of our situations and choose not to act like it doesn't exist.
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Old 10-22-2011, 11:34 AM
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I have much respect for you ladies. I know it has to take a strong special angel to be in a relationship with a lifer and then to be faithful on top of that man you women leave me speechless. I can never imagine how you feel. I just read this post because I have been waiting for my Fiance' just two years and yes I can say I am holding up strong because wow its only been 2 years he only has 15 months left so thats nothing but I just want to let you ladies know you guys definitely have my respect and may you all keep your heads up.
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Old 10-22-2011, 11:40 AM
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Been doing this for 15 years. I dated a little in the beginning, but after we were married I have been 100% faithful to him and only him.

That's just the way we ride, others ride different and that's okay for them.
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Old 10-22-2011, 11:49 AM
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I don't regret my decesion to stand beside him at all. I have NO REGRETS!! We have two beautiful children and if we didn't I'd still be there with him.

I have traveled seen the world. I continue to live my life. Rather then dwelling on the negative aspect of this lifestyle I embrace a positive outlook. I don't feel the lack of physical touch. I see him every week. For now that is enough for me. Sure longing for him to be next to me, but I know he will. It's not a matter of "if," but "when?"

We got mad history together, so I know I'm with my soulmate. I won't settle for anyone other then him.

I am strong enough to do any sentence with him. This is whay I choose, doesn't mean others agree.
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