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Loving a Lifer For those whose loved one is serving a life sentence.

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  #1  
Old 12-12-2008, 01:15 AM
penpal915 penpal915 is offline
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Default Could YOU do life?

Knowing what your men/friends/brothers, etc have been through and have experienced thus far, and knowing that you would spend the rest of your natural life behind bars, could you do it? Mentally, I mean? Would it break you?

Call me crazy, but it would me. I can't imagine myself spending the rest of my life in prison, and even though I believe that suicide is wrong, I'd probably off myself before I allow someone to keep me penned up like that for the rest of my life. I imagine that many of the lifers in there wish for death. I know I would.
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Old 12-12-2008, 04:35 AM
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I KNOW I couldn't.
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Old 12-12-2008, 08:02 AM
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Since suicide is never an option, I'd have to get thru it. I'd have to try to make the best of my life and find whatever happiness there is behind the walls.
I think the most important thing to me would be to make sure my life wasn't a waste. I'd try to do positive things, be involved with programs that make a difference.

As long as I have a reason to crawl out of bed in the morning I'd make it.


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Old 12-12-2008, 08:56 AM
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I think the only way to do it would be one day at a time. The future isn't promised, and many things can happen over the course of 'life'.

As Ann says, though, even if I was locked up I'd need to feel that I was working towards something. I'm a planner by nature and I go nuts if I don't have some goal in mind.

Good question!
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Old 12-12-2008, 09:57 AM
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Yes, I do it each and every day!
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Old 12-12-2008, 10:43 AM
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"Call me crazy, but it would me. I can't imagine myself spending the rest of my life in prison, and even though I believe that suicide is wrong, I'd probably off myself before I allow someone to keep me penned up like that for the rest of my life. I imagine that many of the lifers in there wish for death. I know I would"

You took the words right out of my mouth penpal. I don't agree with suicide, but I don't know if I could take it being in there for life.

Last edited by waiting4wes; 12-12-2008 at 10:45 AM.. Reason: Quoting
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Old 12-12-2008, 12:01 PM
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I agree with (for me) suicide would NEVER be a option, even if i was locked up for life I STILL have my son out here that I would be living for, and to take myself away from him TOTALLY would not be fair to him and it would hurt him beyond belief. He'd be my reason to wake up everyday in there, and do what I need to do each and everyday.

Last edited by Brandy; 12-12-2008 at 12:02 PM.. Reason: misspelled
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Old 12-12-2008, 12:17 PM
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Being in love with and sharing my life with a lifer... I too am in prison. I could do it, I've managed rasing a child on my own and thats the toughest job on the earth... being in prsion for the rest of my life... hmmm, I could think of some up sides to that.. no due dates, no bills, no being pulled 20 different directions all at once, yes I could manage.
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Old 12-12-2008, 01:34 PM
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Hopefully none of us will ever have to know, but I believe its one of those things that you just don't know what you can do until you are doing it.
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Old 12-12-2008, 04:15 PM
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I think it would get the best of me...but I could NEVER commit sucide. I got babies to live for. Ive SEEN the impact that you can have on someones life from behind bars, so I would have to do it for them.
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Old 12-12-2008, 04:56 PM
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I feel if I am doing life with both my daughters. Every day is like being locked up in my own private hell. I may be on the outside but I have lost most of my dreams and truly am locked up right with them.
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Old 12-12-2008, 07:07 PM
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I couldn't do it.
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Old 12-12-2008, 11:37 PM
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Default Hmmm...

Good answer. I adapt easily to just about any situation, but that one is just one I can't seem to wrap my head around, ya know? But you did put it into perspective; as long as I had something to do to keep me busy and occupied, I don't think it would be so bad. Lord knows I go crazy enough being "bored" out in the free world, so I can imagine how I'd want to pull my hair out if I were in prison for the rest of my days and not have anything to do to keep my mind off of being in there.

I thank you all for your honesty; I'd thought I was the only one who felt that way!



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Originally Posted by StormChild View Post
I think the only way to do it would be one day at a time. The future isn't promised, and many things can happen over the course of 'life'.

As Ann says, though, even if I was locked up I'd need to feel that I was working towards something. I'm a planner by nature and I go nuts if I don't have some goal in mind.

Good question!
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Old 12-13-2008, 10:24 AM
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Hopefully none of us will ever have to know, but I believe its one of those things that you just don't know what you can do until you are doing it.
you said that perfectly
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Old 12-13-2008, 09:24 PM
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Default ............

I know it's kind of a "morbid" (for lack of a better word) question, but I go through all the forums when I'm on here and it makes me especially sad to read the long-term and lifer posts about all these people who are spending years and years and years in prison, mostly behind bullsh**! I mean, of course I knew about it, but to actually put faces and names to them...it just makes me really sad.
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Old 12-14-2008, 07:53 AM
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i know i couldnt do it. i would definently kill myself. I have no children and i think that would be the only thing that would stop me. I tell my man that he has more strength than i do, for i could NEVER live that way.
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Old 12-14-2008, 08:57 AM
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You never know for sure what you can do until you are faced with it. If someone had asked me a few years ago if I could fall in love and live my life with a lifer I'd have told them no...yet here I am.

All things are not promised and life can change on a moments notice. I do life out here everyday with him in there and if the roles were reversed I would do life inside the walls everyday.

We are all here for a purpose and although we might never know that purpose or never understand it there is a reason. Make the best of the life you are blessed with no matter where you are living it.

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Old 12-14-2008, 09:53 AM
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I'm a Christian, so suicide is not an option for me.

I wouldn't like to think of our lifer loved ones killing themselves either.
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Old 12-14-2008, 01:41 PM
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I know I couldn't...I would opt to meet my maker first...
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Old 12-14-2008, 05:15 PM
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I could never commit suicicde so I would have to deal with it. But I know every single time I think of Darrell and his life sentence here in pa I just feel sad . Like when the other night and he called and the 15 min go so fast I asked if he could call back and he said no(sometimes he does) because it was almost 9pm and he had to go in for lock down. I was just like wow and Here I am with the freedom to walk out my door and down the street to the store any time I want to . When I think of things like that and of him I just get real sad for him
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Old 12-14-2008, 06:26 PM
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I don't know. Never say never. We really don't know or understand just how strong we are or what we're capable of until it actually happens. I need my freedom like I need my air. But I've learned a lot these past years about how strong I really am, too. I just never want to have to find out.
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Old 12-15-2008, 04:08 AM
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That makes me very sad, too...life is hard out in the free world but I just could not imagine dealing with being put away like that...



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I could never commit suicicde so I would have to deal with it. But I know every single time I think of Darrell and his life sentence here in pa I just feel sad . Like when the other night and he called and the 15 min go so fast I asked if he could call back and he said no(sometimes he does) because it was almost 9pm and he had to go in for lock down. I was just like wow and Here I am with the freedom to walk out my door and down the street to the store any time I want to . When I think of things like that and of him I just get real sad for him
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Old 12-15-2008, 04:42 AM
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Quote:
Could YOU do life?


This is a good question to toss around. But I don't know; hope I "never" have to find out. Lord knows we have to deal with a lot of idiots who get on our last nerves, economy is bad, lots of worries... it is a never say never thing.
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Old 12-15-2008, 07:58 AM
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Kind of in a light mood this morning so nobody take this serious, ok????

Lets think about this in a different light shall we????

1. I wouldn't have to go to work every day.
2. I wouldn't have to pay another bill, EVER!!!!!
3. No cooking!!!!
4. Don't have to worry about looking good for anybody, hee hee
5. No going out in the cold if I don't want to.
6. Gas prices??? Who cares!!!!
7. I can sleep for hours as long as I report for count, then its all good.

It's Monday, its freezing outside, I'm at work and don't want to be, so.....today, being in there doesn't sound so bad to me.!!!!!
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Old 12-15-2008, 08:13 AM
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Quote:
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It's Monday, its freezing outside, I'm at work and don't want to be, so.....today, being in there doesn't sound so bad to me.!!!!!


EXACTLY!
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