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Loving a Lifer For those whose loved one is serving a life sentence.

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  #51  
Old 05-20-2010, 10:54 PM
LORNA LORNA is offline
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Crazy glue?
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Old 06-15-2010, 12:38 AM
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I know he is the one I had been waiting for and looking for all my life he's the one he says the same of me & also The history that we share
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  #53  
Old 06-25-2010, 07:02 PM
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Our loyalty and commitment we both vow to each other from day one. We have the seed of love that conitnues to grow.
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  #54  
Old 08-13-2010, 08:28 PM
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We loved each other as kids and when he set me free and I came back 21 yrs later we realized I was his to begin with!
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  #55  
Old 08-15-2010, 10:10 AM
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Red face loving a lifer

One thing that keeps me from walking a way from my lifer is his love for life i honestly ever thought i would find myself in this kind of situation he a beautiful spirit that i feel in the deepths of my soul everytinhg about this man is beautiful cool fun and god fearing and i never hear hom complain about it
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  #56  
Old 08-31-2010, 10:20 PM
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God brought us together inside the prison and we honestly believe that God will one day bring Johnny home. We are committed and do our best to put God first in all that we do.
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  #57  
Old 09-01-2010, 04:17 PM
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I think Terry said it best when she said
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We weren't supposed to fall in love
We really weren't and we were both caught by surprise that's for sure, but now there's just no denying it. I guess one way or another your heart will find it's way home...That's the glue that holds me, my heart is home with Him
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  #58  
Old 09-24-2010, 10:06 AM
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My Glue is Love, I love my babes with my whole heart. Each call, letter and visit makes me fall more in love each time. Also knowing that he is doing good things with his time and helping other inmates. I believe when you love someone with your Whole Heart nothing could tear you apart.

BTW my name is Tiffany My love is doing a 42 year sentence will no early parole, He doesn’t have a L at the end but 42 is pretty much his life. He’s been down only 3 of those years, I know I could use the support of you ladies and also give support. Thanks for having me
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  #59  
Old 10-01-2010, 11:24 AM
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My Lifer and I are MWI... but I think the glue that holds us together is ofcourse Love, honesty... mutual respect. The fact that we are more than just a couple we are friends. We tell each other everything and we try to keep things fun.
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  #60  
Old 10-04-2010, 10:21 PM
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I truely ADMIRE all of you!!!!!
God Bless~
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  #61  
Old 10-09-2010, 10:41 AM
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Cool I couldnot have said it better!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by nypurple View Post
History has a lot do with us also, together as young adults, the whirlwind of romance and the lust of being young. Our parting for so many years, only to discover as mature adults the embers are hot, that our love never burned out. (Thus my signature line.) Now 4 years back together the whirlwind of lust and the romance of being older...............I've always known he is my destiny, my companion, my partner. The man I want and need to take my hand and walk through life by my side. My Soul Mate.
There isn't any one physical attribute which draws me to him, other than to say he compliments me, as I him, as different as we are in appearance, his dark Italian features; me fair, freckled and red hair. There is the mixture of my red haired hot tempered, firey personality and his sultry, sexy and very playful nature. All that rolled toghether...........well OO-LA-LA...............and then some.
And simply......he gets me..........
Your mention of "Soul Mates" acctually brought tears to my eyes....tears of joy for the love finally realized after almost 20 years between high school and the present...unlike you we never acted upon the attraction and yes lust we felt for one another during our Junior High and High School years. We grew up in an affluent California beach community. He was my best friend and due to our race difference (he being one of 2 african american males in our county). We never acted upon our feelings...we were young...we surfed...we plaiyed volleyball...we hung out...upon graduation we went our seperate ways...me the Virgin Islands, college Boston, Corp America now Florida...he college,Europe,Hawaii, back Calif then (well we all know there was a mistake) incarceration at age 27. We reunited through a mutual friend cause I finally found out computers are for more than spreadsheets 10 different ways saying same thing...I found facebook..lol..at any rate after traveling the world...I came to find...my heart lies right where its first flutter ever felt began....Like you said...HE GETS ME ...its like we never spent a day apart...and for that..I am gratefull every day...thank you for your post and well putting into words all that I have been feeling for the months since we reunited...
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  #62  
Old 10-09-2010, 04:30 PM
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I appreciate this forum. Especially now that I am approved to marry my long term inmate. He has life. His parole was recently denied and we have to do 3 more years. Will it be denied again in 2013? I have no idea but he is my soul, my heart, and my joy. I am marrying him because HE and NO ONE ELSE is who I want to put that ring on my finger. Yes, I want him released but I am committed no matter what so YES I am saying I DOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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  #63  
Old 10-26-2010, 08:32 PM
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Wow, many of you have much history with your Lifer's. Well, I met my Lifer through some mutual friends. It was strange how we met, because he was just relaying a message to me when he called me. I was down, and he heard it in my voice. He extended his friendship and offered if I wanted to talk about what I was going thru. Which I felt a sense of familiarity with him. I felt comfortable enough to open up to him. Things just kind of went from there as friends. He confessed his feelings for me right away because he felt the same connection I did at the beginning. Because he was just extending his friendship to me, he had kept his feelings to himself at first but grew and unconditional love for me. We're now engaged and I'm extremely happy with him and my little girl shares our happiness and he shows her fatherly love as well. But now I wonder when if at all will he be coming home. The glue that keeps us together as many of you said as well, is Love, Respect, Commitment, Understanding, comminication, friendship, and support. He has encouraged me to pursue my goals and dreams. Having come out of a bad long-term relationship, I didn't think I'd be able to love again. He planted that seed of hope in me, that has flourished through his nurturing love and affection. I know he's my true love and realize that I've never felt this way before, and I'm loving every moment with him and wouldn't change it for anything in the world no matter how pesimistic the people around me may be. God is great, and I believe he will bring my love home....So that's some of the glue that keeps me with my Lifer. Though we've just completed one year together, I look forward to a lifelong relationship.

Last edited by ajrdn; 10-26-2010 at 08:34 PM..
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  #64  
Old 11-04-2010, 04:26 AM
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U all our beautiful woman and the stories has touch my heart.....we do it all for our man...i can say my husband who lock up has been the best man i ever been with....the ones on the streets could never compare to him.....im a true wifey to my inmate he my everything
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  #65  
Old 11-24-2010, 11:16 AM
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it's been a little over two years since i first commented on the glue that holds my man and i together ~ to be honest a lot has changed within those two years. married life changed our relationship dramatically, not for the worst yet not for the best, it's just changed ((maybe growing pains, lol)) either way we're both trying to keep up with the adjustment.

one thing i know for sure, we fill one another where the other lacks ~ without the other we're weak ~ together we're strongest. maybe i'll never know what the glue is made of, but whatever it is * I love it * and I thank God for it daily.
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  #66  
Old 11-25-2010, 07:46 AM
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That is so sweet and true! I have a lot of respect to the women that has men serving a life sentence, you all are VERY strong!.
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  #67  
Old 12-07-2010, 10:37 AM
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He's one of the best friends I could ever ask for. We're not together, never have been - my fiance (who's in prison too) is his best friend. We all just kind of support each other and help each other.
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Old 12-07-2010, 04:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Peach&Cream View Post
it's been a little over two years since i first commented on the glue that holds my man and i together ~ to be honest a lot has changed within those two years. married life changed our relationship dramatically, not for the worst yet not for the best, it's just changed ((maybe growing pains, lol)) either way we're both trying to keep up with the adjustment.

one thing i know for sure, we fill one another where the other lacks ~ without the other we're weak ~ together we're strongest. maybe i'll never know what the glue is made of, but whatever it is * I love it * and I thank God for it daily.
Is it me or does marriage change things. We exchanged vows.. but not you know legally lol. But we are married... somehow we both feel that things would change our dynamic... maybe its just us
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Old 12-07-2010, 06:31 PM
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I am married to a lifer I have been for 15yrs on tomorrow, my husband has been in for 20yr and I have been here for the long haul, I can't say that thing get easier cause they don't I always believe life is what you make out of it, I knew when I married him this was the only person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with people ask me all the time how do u do it and I have to answer by saying the Grace Of God who has help me through this, He came up for Parole again this Nov, and we still haven't heard anything I will continue to keep my faith only he know what's best.
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Old 12-08-2010, 12:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LunaBella View Post
Is it me or does marriage change things. We exchanged vows.. but not you know legally lol. But we are married... somehow we both feel that things would change our dynamic... maybe its just us
growing up in my mans mind, marriage was a holy union which he'd never be good enough to contain. when lifer and i met i was married to my first bf, but living like a divorced woman. therefore, according to my lifer i felt loosely towards the meaning of marriage. he fought me on a commitment for years, he built thick walls around himself out of fear of getting hurt...

once i finally blew through his walls, i vowed this and that, BUT i wasn't legally married to him so eventually i still lived the way i wanted... which caused us a two year end.

that two year break lead me to the realization of wanting to be in my lifers life regardless of what it meant ~ i knew it wouldn't be easy, but there isn't an in between with my man - he's either in or out ((a great quality im learning from him)).

yes, legal marriage changed the dynamic of our relationship ~ there is some adjusting to get through, but that goes with any change in life. we were both very afraid of the change, but thankful it's with one another - through thick and thin, better or worse... let no man / anything come between what God has joined together! ((i couldn't have had that mentality without a legal wedding)) scripture taught me the important meaning of public ceremony, so for me it was a must.
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Old 12-09-2010, 09:44 AM
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Being able to think outside the box away from conventions, religions, etc..., being able to balance each other out, loving from the heart
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  #72  
Old 12-20-2010, 09:17 PM
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"Fate," holds our glue together. I truly believe we were destined to be with one another. We met at a very young age and have a ton of history. I can't imagine my life without him in it. I Have tried in the beginning of his incarceration, but I could never give myself to another because he had my heart, always had. I believe we are soul mates. He's my best friend, father of my kiddos. I trust him completely, we respect and balance each other. I believe in him and in us........ we got some super glue going on.
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  #73  
Old 12-21-2010, 08:36 PM
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My man and I tied the knot in the prison on Nov. 3rd 2010....just a little over a month ago. It was the best decision I have made in my life. I say that in faith because my heart is happy, even though I struggle with the issues of being a prison wife daily.
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growing up in my mans mind, marriage was a holy union which he'd never be good enough to contain. when lifer and i met i was married to my first bf, but living like a divorced woman. therefore, according to my lifer i felt loosely towards the meaning of marriage. he fought me on a commitment for years, he built thick walls around himself out of fear of getting hurt...

once i finally blew through his walls, i vowed this and that, BUT i wasn't legally married to him so eventually i still lived the way i wanted... which caused us a two year end.

that two year break lead me to the realization of wanting to be in my lifers life regardless of what it meant ~ i knew it wouldn't be easy, but there isn't an in between with my man - he's either in or out ((a great quality im learning from him)).

yes, legal marriage changed the dynamic of our relationship ~ there is some adjusting to get through, but that goes with any change in life. we were both very afraid of the change, but thankful it's with one another - through thick and thin, better or worse... let no man / anything come between what God has joined together! ((i couldn't have had that mentality without a legal wedding)) scripture taught me the important meaning of public ceremony, so for me it was a must.
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  #74  
Old 01-13-2011, 03:04 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweetswife View Post
I appreciate this forum. Especially now that I am approved to marry my long term inmate. He has life. His parole was recently denied and we have to do 3 more years. Will it be denied again in 2013? I have no idea but he is my soul, my heart, and my joy. I am marrying him because HE and NO ONE ELSE is who I want to put that ring on my finger. Yes, I want him released but I am committed no matter what so YES I am saying I DOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I can totally relate to what you said here. My man just asked me to Marry him & you know...it didn't take but a split second for me to answer him with a "Yes". Because I know that there are just some things that you can not substitute or replace. And even given his situation, I'd rather be with him & deal with it...then to be without him again.
Thank you Sweetwife for sharing.

Signed, Bleedingheart2
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Old 01-13-2011, 11:12 AM
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I love reading through this thread... it's all together my most favorite one in all of pto
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