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  #1  
Old 06-05-2017, 12:21 AM
Izzy00 Izzy00 is offline
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Default Post release help - brother living with me

It's been like 5-10 years since my last real post so forgive me if I'm doing this wrong but I need help. Background: my brother did 15 years, got out two years ago, in that time he married and and is now divorcing a woman I introduced him to many years ago. He's now living with me, he has moments of sadness, I feel like he's still working through his release and now also this horrible excuse for a woman's breakup/divorce (we used to be college best friends​ so I know exactly how she is). Question is, how much of my time should I also be giving? I feel bad for going on a date because I leave him home alone. I've gone out twice in the last month because of this. I feel bad when I do, but others/friends tell me I shouldn't. I wanted to hear the opinions of others who might have actually been in this situation before. Side note, due to our pretty fucked up childhood, we never actually grew up together, so I actually *want* to spend time with him, but I also want to live my social life as well

Thanks in advance!!
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Old 06-05-2017, 06:19 AM
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GingerM GingerM is offline
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Yes, it's difficult. You want to be there for your brother, you want to support him, but you also need to have your own life and not have his life subsume yours.

Go out on dates. Live your life. The fact that your brother is currently living with you should not stop that.

Have you spoken to your brother about how your conflicted? I bet he'd say "go have a good time, I'll still be here when you get home" or something like that. Maybe HE would like to have a couple of hours to himself to zone out.

Talk to him. Find out where his mind and heart are at. That will help you tremendously.
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Old 06-05-2017, 08:39 PM
onparoleinTO onparoleinTO is offline
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I agree fully (as usual) with Ginger M
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Old 06-06-2017, 01:48 AM
Izzy00 Izzy00 is offline
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Thanks guys. I'll hopefully find an opportunity to have a heart-to-heart with him. I'll also kind of follow my instincts too on a day to day basis I think
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