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Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgendered People in Prison For anyone that has a same sex partner, family member, friend or Pen Pal in prison that is Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, or Transgendered.

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  #26  
Old 08-04-2018, 06:21 AM
S.Barnett S.Barnett is offline
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Originally Posted by Raf's Girl View Post
Why do we straight people think that everything needs to be fixed to our liking???
Being Straight Gay Lesbian or a Pedophile isn't a choice it just is. No one ever made the conscious decision to become whatever we are sexually. The way we act is what we have responsibility over, I do hate rapists, I don't like it when a lady tries to charm me into a sexual relationship with her, one of my dearest friends back then was a gay man..........sadly enough........ I'm willing to admit that :-)
The way we act is what makes us criminals not the label we put on ourselves.
There are enough people that have thoughts about doing something that isn't morally acceptable but never do it, it doesn't make them criminals.
The idea you can change feelings people have is plain stupid all you can do is try to learn them to cope with their feelings.
People need to be held responsible for their actions not for how or what they feel.
No. The idea that a pedophile is okay because "that's just how he/she is" is lunacy. There's a huge difference in being gay or transgender and a pedophile. The former is just how someone is, the later is a sickening criminal. I'm sure some will be furious at what I've wrote but I'm not about to change my feelings on the subject of pedophilia.
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  #27  
Old 08-04-2018, 07:01 AM
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I find it very disturbing that gay relationships are yet again being associated with crime. It wasnt that long ago that in the UK (I am sure many other countries also) that consensual adult gay relationships where a crime punishable by imprisonment.

Fortunately we have moved on from that atrocity, but linking gay relationships with criminal non consensual pedophile behavior is plain wrong on every level.

"pedophiles are people", yes they are ,but we all are and thats no excuse for anything. We are all responsible for our behaviour. Acting on inappropriate behaviour impulses is a choice. Its a choice that carries heavy penalties and rightly so.

I firmly believe that there should be treatment available to those with inappropriate sexual urges. To enable them to resist those urges and preserve innocence and protect potential victims. It might be difficult and uncomfortable for those involved but its better for all in the long run. The bravery and insight of those coming forward for help should be recognized and rewarded with as much help and resources as required. Also anonymity.

Those who do act on their inapproriate impulses well then prison is the only option and hopefully for a very long time.
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  #28  
Old 08-04-2018, 01:14 PM
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And I also believe the pedophiles should be "outed" as in some sort of texting and or emails sent out to everyone in there general area.
I'm not sure you're going to convince many pedos to come out of the closet, if they're just going to be "outed" like sex offenders on the registry already are.
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  #29  
Old 08-04-2018, 05:01 PM
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Pedophilia is not a crime unless acted on. "Outing" someone who has never been convicted of or committed a crime would be a crime in & of itself IMHO. That would be like me adding a neighbor that I thought might break into my home to a Breaking & Entering registry and sending out emails wit his personal info.

Pedophilia: A Disorder, Not a Crime
....

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders defines pedophilia as an intense and recurrent sexual interest in prepubescent children, and a disorder if it causes a person “marked distress or interpersonal difficulty” or if the person acts on his interests. Yet our laws ignore pedophilia until after the commission of a sexual offense, emphasizing punishment, not prevention.

Part of this failure stems from the misconception that pedophilia is the same as child molestation. One can live with pedophilia and not act on it...

...A second misconception is that pedophilia is a choice. Recent research, while often limited to sex offenders — because of the stigma of pedophilia — suggests that the disorder may have neurological origins. Pedophilia could result from a failure in the brain to identify which environmental stimuli should provoke a sexual response.

Read entire piece by Margo Kaplan, an assistant professor at Rutgers School of Law, Camden: HERE.
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  #30  
Old 08-05-2018, 11:16 PM
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"Outing" someone who has never been convicted of or committed a crime would be a crime in & of itself IMHO.
I'm not sure if it's a crime, but you can definitely be sued for slander and/or libel for accusing someone of being a pedophile.

Take the recent case of Elon Musk, that cocky business magnate who accused one of the brave divers who rescued all those trapped kids in that Thailand cave of being a pedo.

https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/...er-a-pedo-guy/

He's now looking at getting sued, and with his deep pockets, I imagine he'll be paying out a pretty penny.
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  #31  
Old 08-06-2018, 01:26 AM
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No. The idea that a pedophile is okay because "that's just how he/she is" is lunacy. There's a huge difference in being gay or transgender and a pedophile. The former is just how someone is, the later is a sickening criminal. I'm sure some will be furious at what I've wrote but I'm not about to change my feelings on the subject of pedophilia.
If the person never acted on his or her feelings they aren't criminals. A man with rape fantasies but he doesn't act on it isn't a criminal either. People always seem to point fingers at others even if they haven't done something wrong, it is your fear talking instead of your mind.
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  #32  
Old 08-06-2018, 09:06 AM
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If the person never acted on his or her feelings they aren't criminals. A man with rape fantasies but he doesn't act on it isn't a criminal either. People always seem to point fingers at others even if they haven't done something wrong, it is your fear talking instead of your mind.

I don't speak of this hardly at ever, but it seems called for here. I'M the victim of a pedophile. I'm not sure if he had only fantasized about me before he did it or if he'd molested others first.
So yeah, it's that and my fear for my children, and other children. I'm also appalled at the great lengths people will go to in defending loved ones capable of pedophilia. I would disown someone like that, actually I'd do a lot more than just disown them. Tell me, how you can be okay with it.
How can it be okay to even fantasize about sexually molesting babies and young children?.

I'd hope you wouldn't leave your own children or grandchildren around one.
Imo, you're splitting hairs trying to make it ok.
If someone is fantasizing about molesting children would YOU be comfortable leaving children alone with him or her?.

In the end all criminals fantasize and think about the crime before committing it.
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Old 08-06-2018, 09:11 AM
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I'm not sure you're going to convince many pedos to come out of the closet, if they're just going to be "outed" like sex offenders on the registry already are.
well of course not, what I meant was the people aware of them should speak up!.
Sorry if I wasn't clear on what I meant!. And Nickletimer, you say you did time,so tell me how do you truly feel about this subject?. Because I know how my friends a nd pen pals think of this.
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Old 08-06-2018, 09:55 AM
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So if someone fantasize about raping a woman but never does it he is a criminal too??
I can't imagine that you are able to say that everyone that never did anything wrong based on their sexual preference needs to be labeled as a criminal. It would be unlawful and illegal as well. I'm sorry it happened to you but that doesn't mean that every person with those feelings will act on them. Letting people tell others so and so is a pedophile without any evidence is like a witch hunt. People are still innocent until proven guilty.
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  #35  
Old 08-06-2018, 10:02 AM
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I don't speak of this hardly at ever, but it seems called for here. I'M the victim of a pedophile. I'm not sure if he had only fantasized about me before he did it or if he'd molested others first.
So yeah, it's that and my fear for my children, and other children. I'm also appalled at the great lengths people will go to in defending loved ones capable of pedophilia. I would disown someone like that, actually I'd do a lot more than just disown them. Tell me, how you can be okay with it.
How can it be okay to even fantasize about sexually molesting babies and young children?.

I'd hope you wouldn't leave your own children or grandchildren around one.
Imo, you're splitting hairs trying to make it ok.
If someone is fantasizing about molesting children would YOU be comfortable leaving children alone with him or her?.

In the end all criminals fantasize and think about the crime before committing it.
First, I'm terribly sorry for what you've been through

All people who molest children are not necessarily "pedophiles."

No one here said they were "OK" with children being molested. When you love someone unconditionally, its important to remind oneself repeatedly & often that it is ok to Hate the sin, Love the sinner.

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...what I meant was the people aware of them should speak up
Since the majority of pedophiles have not offended, what exactly should anyone speak up about? I wasn't aware that there actually are Thought Police....how does one prove another's thoughts? What if someone spoke up and was wrong? Is the person that was spoken up about banished to the pointless forest?
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  #36  
Old 08-06-2018, 10:24 AM
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Can you imagine what we would devolve into if we had pressure to report people we thought might possibly be something that we fear?

If that seems like a reasonable idea, fall back on history...
Witch Trials
Red Scare
"If you see something, say something"

All of these began because someone felt genuinely afraid of being harmed or that it was their duty to expose what they believed to be true. Are we a safer world because of any of these?

(not the right thread for the debate, but my personal feelings are #metoo should be on that list because what started out as a good message turned into a sh*tstorm)

Patch is right, we are not the thought police. That's not a world I want to live in. It is possible, even as a victim of abuse, to heal and develop empathy.
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Old 08-06-2018, 11:01 AM
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How can it be okay to even fantasize about sexually molesting babies and young children?.

If someone is fantasizing about molesting children would YOU be comfortable leaving children alone with him or her?.

In the end all criminals fantasize and think about the crime before committing it.
And exactly how would you know about who is fantasizing about any crime? Are they posting their thoughts somewhere for us all to read?

I fantasize about numbers of things, and never head off into doing them. It's up to you to decide whether or not I'm a criminal? No. No chance I'd ever give anyone that authority!
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  #38  
Old 08-06-2018, 02:57 PM
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We're sort of drifting off of the OP, though, and what IS deplorable is that someone acted by placing these posters in a community with the intent to cast unfounded doubt and fear onto the LGBTQ community.
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  #39  
Old 08-06-2018, 07:45 PM
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And Nickletimer, you say you did time,so tell me how do you truly feel about this subject?. Because I know how my friends and pen pals think of this.
Admittedly, I have no kids of my own to worry over, and I've never had to endure sexual abuse as a child myself, so I suppose I never developed the visceral anger and fear so many parents and prisoners exhibit when it comes to sex offenders in general. I know it's been said that over half of all male prisoners were sexually abused or molested as children themselves, and if indeed that is true, it could definitely explain attitudes inside.

I'd be more interested though in seeing what could be done to prevent these types of crimes from happening in the first place, rather than just raging against these offenders before or after they offend. Right now we do nothing to treat the offender until after a child has been sexually abused and the offender has been caught. But by then, it's too late. The damage is already done. But what if we could somehow encourage these people who have a sexual attraction to children to voluntarily come out of the shadows and seek treatment themselves, before they ever offend?

Germany is already experimenting with just such a model, by guaranteeing confidentiality to those who voluntarily come forward and seek treatment. They seem to be having much more success with getting pedophiles to come out of the closet (at least to their treatment team) by not publicly naming and shaming them, but rather by earning their trust through confidentiality. That seems like a wiser way to go to get these people into treatment and prevent these types of crimes from happening in the first place.

But we'll need to do away with mandatory reporting laws on the part of counselors and psych staff first before we can ever try such a thing here, because right now their hands are tied.
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  #40  
Old 08-09-2018, 09:37 AM
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.....Me personally, I feel like there needs to be a support group for those who have feelings.....
I don’t know if there’s a support group for those who have those feelings, but I know for a fact that there are support groups for those who have and act on those feelings. They're called prisons.
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  #41  
Old 08-16-2018, 05:12 PM
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I appreciate this response and agree with much of it. However research does NOT show that regular use of porn generally leads to the need for more hardcore porn, any more than regular playing of violent video games leads to 'needing' more violent ones, or soft drugs lead to hard drugs, or use of alcohol regularly leads to alcoholism, or the need to buy shoes leads to buying more and more expensive shoes. (see Gabor Mate's wonderful book, In The Relam of Hungry Ghoses). These progressions happen for SOME people - (I believe about 4% of alcohol users develop alcoholism) which is how we get addictions. Most people can manage most pleasurable experiences without a constant craving for more. So the solution is NOT to restrict or prohibit the original stimulus, which is what many want to do with porn, but to help those who have trouble coping with whatever stimulus it happens to be.






quote=JGardner10;7737290]So I am a licensed counselor so I wanted to respond to why a "virtual" simulation would be counter-productive to changing the behavior. We are all familiar with re-enforcement. Exposing the individual to sexually stimulating pictures of children, whether paired with orgasm or not (orgasm would intensify re-enforcement) would result in the physiological response, releasing endorphins, oxytocin, etc., and provide re-enforcement. Re-enforcement increases the likelihood the individual will seek out the behavior again. The reason why this results in the individual seeking out the real thing is they eventually need something more. Porn addiction is not as taboo as it use to be. When an individual watches porn all the time, studies show people tend to seek out more and more hardcore porn to achieve the same stimulation. Our brains want more and more endorphins! On a PURELY behavioral perspective (disorders are rarely solely behavioral) treatment would be based on extinction. In extinction you would never allow the stimulus children to be paired with sexual arousal or stimulation. This is likely to be unsuccessful because intermittent re-enforcement is more re-enforcing than the reward everytime. And like I said human behavior is more complicated than that.
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  #42  
Old 08-16-2018, 06:44 PM
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I don’t know if there’s a support group for those who have those feelings, but I know for a fact that there are support groups for those who have and act on those feelings. They're called prisons.

.....and this ^^^^^is exactly why any support group for non-offending pedophiles is most likely underground. I do know there are websites devoted to pedophilia by & for persons that have "those feelings."
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