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  #1  
Old 03-20-2017, 11:05 PM
char_hart80 char_hart80 is offline
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Smile Facebook..do you post on there about your LO/SO??

Do you post on Facebook about your Husband/Wife/BF/GF/Fiance? Like how they are going, or even if you are seeing someone who is currently incarcerated, how excited you are about your future together and such, or that you just miss them, anything.

I haven't said anything to anyone, mostly because really it is not there business, but also I know that some would be rather judgmental about the whole thing. Even though I met my bf about 7 months ago, and about 2 months of that he's been in prison, know one knows I have a boyfriend right now other then my ex husband (I made sure my ex met my bf and he knew him before the kids met my bf), my kids and a few close friends.

I should really just keep it that way, I just wish I could just say, Hey I got a awesome boyfriend!! LOL! You know what I mean? It sounds so lame I know, but I just see others announcing new loves, or something exciting about there LO or anything and wishing I could do the same. It's like I want to be that annoying facebook person who posts lame stuff about missing there bf and such.

I don't know, I think I will just wait till he is out, and then do it. That maybe the better way of doing it, then that way he can join in the annoyance with me LOL
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Old 03-20-2017, 11:41 PM
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I think people have to do what's best for them. Sometimes that means leaving it off social media. I don't hide my relationship or his circumstance at all, but I also got off Facebook about 5 months ago and haven't regretted it for a minute.

You're always welcome to gush on him here. No explanation needed.
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Old 03-20-2017, 11:59 PM
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I think people have to do what's best for them. Sometimes that means leaving it off social media. I don't hide my relationship or his circumstance at all, but I also got off Facebook about 5 months ago and haven't regretted it for a minute.

You're always welcome to gush on him here. No explanation needed.
Nawww thank you, I will then lol
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Old 03-21-2017, 12:26 AM
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Nooooo.... my social media is just for fun and not necessarily personal stuff... I use it for entertainment and sometimes work (I work for or media company) but my personal life is not published... with the exception of maybe some vacation/travel pics but that's it.
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Old 03-21-2017, 02:52 AM
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I leave the details of my life with my husband out of social media. I didn't post pics or updates about us when we dated to after a year of marriage. Even before his charges I didn't. For the first reason to dodge people's judgement. I left FB over 2 years ago and glad I did. FB is creepy. Tracks your shopping trends, shows you targeted ads, the whole "people you may know" algorithm etc. Just my personal feelings don't want to poo on your want to be on FB.

I understand you want to be one of those people who post all the fluffy in love relationship stuff. You're happy with him. That matters the most. If posting about him makes you happy then go for it. Just understand possibly not everyone will be happy for you. That part sucks. I'm with Miamac - I welcome you to post here w/o judgement too. It's nice to experience those little things like posting a pic or telling others something funny or good that happened or that you look forward too.
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Old 03-21-2017, 05:31 AM
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I tag him in important post about our daughter and talk about him on those I love my husband groups but other then that I don't. My fb friends will be sick of me in a year and a half
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Old 03-21-2017, 07:28 AM
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I just recently started posting about it all because I am so happy and excited and hate not being able to tell the world. I don't put it on FB that he is in prison though but I created a page for him that I tag him in and linked us up as engaged. After he proposed on Sunday and slid that ring on my finger I posted a picture on FB of my hand and everyone was like WTF?! Congrats! The people in my family that don't know asked of course about us and I said I reconnected with a long lost love. I am getting closer and closer to telling it all. I just know I'll hear so much because I have kids and my family will worry. On his page I post all our pictures we take and give everyone updates because it's all his family on there and a couple of my close friends who are supportive. Nobody on there knew before that I was in a relationship after my divorce in December so at least everyone knows I am and that we are engaged and happy I know they all wonder with who since I don't post any photos because he clearly looks like he is in prison lol.
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Old 03-21-2017, 08:59 AM
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I don't post much about her, even now that she's out. She prefers that. She doesn't want to be linked into social media. Maybe that will change at some point, but until it does, this is how it is.

(She also turned off the "Find my iPhone" feature on her iPhone because she thinks the government uses it to track convicted felons...for all I know she's right.)
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  #9  
Old 03-21-2017, 09:45 AM
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Never, post my relationship with my man on FB. Don't need the negativity... When he gets out and we are doing good, then, I'll be delighted to post about him, but even then, what I post on FB is limited.
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Old 03-21-2017, 12:06 PM
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I feel over the years that facebook has become politically hypercharged both left and right. You would like to think it is a place to spread good news. I think it was, still can be to some extent. But increasing politics and negativity it has now, I'm not comfortable with how some might react to what I might view as positive posts or news. So I don't post there.

Our prisontalk site has minimal negativity and politics. Except to the extent politics affects us and LO's in custody. Which is appropriate. I hope the site maintains that discipline.
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Old 03-21-2017, 01:56 PM
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Default Facebook..do you post on there about your LO/SO??

I don't post about my best friend. But one of the reasons I keep my Facebook account is because both my mom and her mom are on it. They are both free to check in on me at anytime, but It's just easier to share pictures from travels for work with them through Facebook. I'm being a little bit subversive, but I'm watching my mom slowly start to engage with her mom. My pictures are kind of an ice breaker for them. They also both want to know when I have arrived safe somewhere.

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  #12  
Old 03-21-2017, 03:20 PM
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For the most part, I don't. A few months ago, I mentioned that I was in a relationship with a man who is currently incarcerated. In that status I said that he has been through the program that is required of him and has done very well, and that I have also seen the growth in him in the seven years since we reconnected.

Nobody put me down or unfriended me because of it. Some seemed supportive, and I put those people on a special list where they see posts related to prison and our relationship and such.

Otherwise I keep to closed or secret groups made specifically for women who are with incarcerated partners or partners on parole/restrictions/registration.
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Old 03-21-2017, 04:12 PM
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I don't hide my life on FB. That said, I don't check in at the prison when I visit, either.

I am friends with real life family and friends and about 5 exceptional characters I've never laid eyes on face to face, that's it. (With the exception of distant cousins not at the reunion, yet.)

I've been hanging with Marty for 29 years, though, so everyone already knows he's exceptional. A real, horrible PITA sometimes, but an exceptional one none the less.
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Old 03-21-2017, 04:28 PM
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He's my son and most of my "friends" list is family so yes, I do.
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Old 03-22-2017, 12:39 AM
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I am in a relationship with a guy who isn't in prison and I still very rarely post anything on social media about our relationship.
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Old 03-22-2017, 05:25 AM
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Wel before my husband went to prison I posed all the time. Pictures with him out vacations dates everything. People were jealous. So I still post pictures that people have never seen and repost the memories etc. Gotta keep doing it or people will think somethings wrong. But like I said I don't post anything about him being in prison or anything that pertains to that.
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Old 03-22-2017, 11:14 AM
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I don't talk about prison or prison issues on FB, etc. That has more to do with me being in prison (and out) well before FB was created, and not feeling a need to post about my past with people who don't even know about it, and probably wouldn't relate anyway.. Everyone I am actually close to know my story, and usually have been a part of it. If I had a LO inside today, that would be a different story, and if one of my "friends" had a problem with it, they wouldn't be my "friend" for long.
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Old 03-22-2017, 03:45 PM
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I don't. My Facebook is about 80% pictures of my son, 10% political ranting, and 10% funny memes. When is out I'm sure we will post occasional pictures and such together, but I am not a big fan of splashing intimate details around on Facebook.
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Old 03-30-2017, 10:22 PM
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Hmmm. The closest I've come to mentioning him is when my great-grand-daughter was born a couple of weeks ago. I posted a red rose on my grand-daughters profile that said "Love and Hugs to Sara and Addie, from Papa"

My fb profile is light-hearted stuff. Grandkids, silliness, etc.
I have a fb page that is anonymous and purely political.

When I really need to share I come here or go to my Recovery forum.
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Old 03-31-2017, 06:17 AM
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My LO is my son and no way in the world do I ever ever discuss anything about him on FB.

First, I have a very professional job where that would not be acceptable. I also must be mindful of anything I post.

Second, I don't ever want him to have to be worried about what is posted about him online. Its going to be hard for him to move on when he gets out so why add complications?
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Old 03-31-2017, 07:12 AM
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My LO is my son and no way in the world do I ever ever discuss anything about him on FB.

First, I have a very professional job where that would not be acceptable. I also must be mindful of anything I post.

Second, I don't ever want him to have to be worried about what is posted about him online. Its going to be hard for him to move on when he gets out so why add complications?
I'm sad to know you have to live like that...
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Old 03-31-2017, 09:03 AM
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I'm sad to know you have to live like that...
I don't think there is anything wrong with her not wanting the people at work to know about her son. That's why I don't post anything about my husband being in prison because I don't want some people to know about him being in prison. And the people that know know not to say anything about it why is the world would anyone want other to know about it.
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Old 04-01-2017, 07:07 AM
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I don't think there is anything wrong with her not wanting the people at work to know about her son. That's why I don't post anything about my husband being in prison because I don't want some people to know about him being in prison. And the people that know know not to say anything about it why is the world would anyone want other to know about it.
Well, I think it's anyone's choice. I've just never felt that way. My job is a complicated mess but, I've never felt like I needed to hide it. And, that may very well stem from my general disdain for the public's ignorance about EVERYTHING to do with the criminal justice system.

Education and public awareness is the only way things will ever change but, that won't happen if we keep them hidden from our every day lives like dirty secrets.

Marty's mom was embarrassed of him going to prison so, she told neighbors and even some friends he moved up north.

That and, from my own personal life, I've learned secrets have a way of coming back to haunt me.

However, besides all of that...

Each person has their own choice. I'm not judging I just know how I would feel to have to hide one of the greatest things in my life, and I am sad for anyone that feels they must hide someone they love.

THAT IS ALL I MEANT.
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Old 04-01-2017, 08:34 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Anjewel View Post
Well, I think it's anyone's choice. I've just never felt that way. My job is a complicated mess but, I've never felt like I needed to hide it. And, that may very well stem from my general disdain for the public's ignorance about EVERYTHING to do with the criminal justice system.

Education and public awareness is the only way things will ever change but, that won't happen if we keep them hidden from our every day lives like dirty secrets.

Marty's mom was embarrassed of him going to prison so, she told neighbors and even some friends he moved up north.

That and, from my own personal life, I've learned secrets have a way of coming back to haunt me.

However, besides all of that...

Each person has their own choice. I'm not judging I just know how I would feel to have to hide one of the greatest things in my life, and I am sad for anyone that feels they must hide someone they love.

THAT IS ALL I MEANT.
I agree with you. My coworkers know about Sean and the head of H.R. Is my close friend and coming with me to see him in 3 weeks lol she is also going to be at my wedding in the prison and throwing me a bachelorette party. The only two people who don't know are my Mom and Dad because they would flip. But I'm getting to the point where I don't care. I'm putting more and more on FB because I'm happier than I've ever been and I want to share that. The only reason I haven't said he was in prison to everyone on FB is I have family members who will tell my mom. I came out of a nasty divorce last year and I have kids so that's where I will get the backlash. But slowly little by little I am telling everyone around me because I am not ashamed of him I am proud to be with him. I don't ever want him to feel like I'm not. Life is so much more freeing when you don't care what others think or say and you live your life the way you want to. I am working on that.
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Old 04-01-2017, 09:32 AM
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I don't post a bunch of mushy stuff about us on my FB. My FB is private and I only have close friends and family (both his and mine) on my friends list. It gives me a chance to share our visit pics with his family without having to load them to my phone and send them to everyone or having to print them out and mail them to everyone. I think it helps to keep his family connected since he was the glue that kinda' held them all together when he was out. When I do post pics, they tend to ask how he's doing and then share stories about him back and forth and give me messages to relay back to him....so for me, it's not a bad thing. I don't go into the specifics of what's going on with us and our relationship. That's between us. And far as people knowing where he is, most people that know me already know where he is....and for those that don't know: if they ask, I don't have a problem telling them. I don't deny who he is or where he is. Those that matter in my life, support my decision to stick by him. Those that don't matter can go scratch.
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