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Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

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Old 04-19-2013, 12:00 PM
cristinas cristinas is offline
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Post Previous life, current life, future life...

I know it is Friday and we are supposed to be all happy about it. And at some level, I am. I am grateful for having a home, my health, my daughter, food on the table and a roof over my head. I am happy for hubby's sanity and health. I know I have a ton to be grateful for. I get that.
Hubby is an aircraft mechanic. Well, his company (small, privately owned) has their FB page. And they continuously update it, with all the new work they get. And it struck me. Hard. That life IS moving. With or without him (their best mechanic), they push through. They don't stop. They don't "hold". Nope. And then I wondered what am I supposed to do. Move on, stay still, hold the fort... Hubby has a 25 yrs 3G sentence. That means he won't even see a Parole Board till 2025. I love this man like I never thought I could love someone. And I plan to stay by his side. Being in TX means we only get contact, not conjugal visits. But other than the sex part, we share everything. Kinda. We decide together what needs to be done, but I do it. The communication is there. The bills are not an issue. Yet (unless you count the freakin' Securus bill...arghh). I read about "you have to live your life" part, yet I am reluctant. How do you live life and enjoy it, if part of you is always feeling guilty for daring to have fun when your partner is not there? Yet, I do not see how you can put your life on hold for years on end, without going completely ballistic... And then again, assuming that we do make it alive and sane (no guarantees, right?)... what happens next? Readjustment, reentry... however you want to call it. Hubby will be at least 67. Meaning his job choices will be more than limited. No retirement. No insurance. Restrictions up the wazoo... Maybe within a wealthy family these are non-issues. But we are not that.
So, again, I guess my question is, where does the "they lived happily ever after" part begins under these circumstances???
I don't know where I am heading with this... I guess I am just venting.
Happy Friday
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Old 04-19-2013, 12:58 PM
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Lina0527 Lina0527 is offline
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*Hugs*....I am sorry you are hurting. Just know that even though things arent as society calls normal you can lead a fulfilling life with your husband. Include him in the fun activities you and your daughter go on by taking lots of pictures. Write him about what you did that day like he were next to you and you two were talking. Look at the positive....there is a light at the end of the tunnel...he has an out date. I understand sometimes that is easier said than done but fake it until you make it. Cry if you need to but always know he will be coming home and they won't be keeping him forever. My love has until 2026 so I understand a little.
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