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Loving a Lifer For those whose loved one is serving a life sentence.

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  #1  
Old 07-26-2018, 09:44 PM
beachgypsy beachgypsy is offline
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Default He may never come home. How am I suppose to get through my life without him

My body feels like its stuck in a vortex that's spinning straight down. I kept grabbing any shred of hope he would be coming home, if not soon then a reasonable amount of time. I special DA has now put himself in the case and now it looks like it's between 15 to life or maybe if he's lucky 10. I can't even, none of this makes any sense. He's 61 years old. Never had any problems with the law, he has done more than anyone has asked of him to heal from what was his mental illness. How can a person who has spent 60 years taking care of anyone he has ever met, have a year of a mental documented break and now he should be thrown away? I am f-ing lost. How am I suppose to get through my life without him?
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Old 07-27-2018, 08:01 AM
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I am so sorry. I pray the Lord helps you and brings healing for all the hurts you are going through. I also pray that God raises up someone to fight on your behalf.
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Old 07-27-2018, 09:16 AM
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I've never been in your position. I hope I am never in your position and really feel for you & anyone else that is walking that path. I have moved your thread to the Loving a Lifer forum so that those members who are on this path can share how they keep their sanity & how they include / incorporate their Lifer in their everyday life in positive ways.

Read up on the stages of grief. Allow yourself time to weave back & forth through those stages until you are strong enough to accept whatever sentence he is given, or until you are strong enough to walk away. Keep in mind, that as long as he has yet to be sentenced, there is still hope. Hope for the best & expect the worst
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Old 07-27-2018, 04:21 PM
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I'm sorry for what you are facing. The unknowns at the beginning are the hardest time of all. Stay strong, take care of yourself, and hope for a lenient sentence.
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Old 08-05-2018, 03:12 PM
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I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this. I can feel the pain in your post. I pray God will shed his grace and mercy on him. Just as you've been there for him in the past you can continue to be there for him. Visits, letters, phone calls and most of all prayers for him. Prayer to a powerful God that can make the best out of the worst. His ways are not like ours but I assure you he loves and cares for you and him. I pray He gives you the strength to play whatever role he has for you going forward. Perhaps you can find a support group. God is able to hold you both on all sides. Meditate on Isaiiah 41:!3. Through faith His strength becomes your. I'll certainly keep you both in my prayers
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Old 08-17-2018, 01:05 AM
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If you choose to go on with this, don't think of it as life without him. I don't. He is IN my life. He calls, we write letters, I come visit when I can. It's a great deal better than when I lost touch with him for ten whole years! It's a different kind of life with him, and I know that it's not for everyone. But I decided I'd rather have what I can with him than nothing at all.

I'm able to do it because his love is all I've ever needed. I don't mean physically, although what we can have is nice. I have no physical drive. So I don't miss what I can't have. Certainly, if he ever does come home I'll take all he can offer. But I'm not suffering without either.
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Old 08-20-2018, 10:25 PM
beachgypsy beachgypsy is offline
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Thank you, I'm still in the limbo stage of all of this. his attorney at times tells me the 15 to life then goes to maybe it will be 5? Even I go from wishing this was all over to thinking maybe this is the good days and the bad are yet to come. The only thing I know for sure is, I have found a love that makes me feel joy through my soul. Somehow, whatever comes, we will find our way through it.

Thank you again for understanding the pain and even the joy of being in a loving relationship regardless of what the outside world throws at it.

I'm in this all the way.
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