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Coming Home Dedicated to discussions about our loved ones that are coming home soon. Discussions here should not fit any other category.

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Old 09-24-2018, 01:03 PM
kat100693 kat100693 is offline
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Question Homecoming after 30 years - how to support?

Hello dear friends,

Im a member for a long time here but didn't wrote much. And my background is a little bit more difficult and different. I hope it is the right place to post my questions....
Well, I started a friendship with a prisoner at the age of 17, we fell in love and were on and off in a relationship together, but stayed in contact most of the time time. We lost contact one year ago. A few weeks ago I got a message on jpay, an email from him, telling me that he's going to board soon and will get released on parole soon. I don't know yet how soon this soon will be. At the age of 42, after I became a grandmother And I had lost all hope - suddenly hell be getting out into a real life. I'm writing him two or three messages every day.
So I don't know if hell have any support when he's getting out. He has sisters but I don't think they'll let him live with them. I live in Germany.
Really, I'm honest. Don't think I'm joking or something. How can I help him for a homecoming? What questions should I ask him? He's talking about it and his plans so much. But I believe he needs to be realistic. What could I do to prepare him? And is there a chance to get to know the exact release date in advance?
Im still surprised but so happy

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Old 09-24-2018, 05:20 PM
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Congratulations on your long-time friend getting parole!! 30 years is a terribly long time So many things "out here" have changed in that time & I'm sure he'll have issues adjusting. How serious those issues are will depend on him. You may want to read through the sticky threads at the top of this forum.

I'm not sure about finding out his exact release date. Its going to depend on if he's BOP or DOC & which state's DOC. Some may have that info online, others will not. Its probably best if he tells you his exact release date.

How to help him from Germany...other than basic necessities (socks, underwear, jeans, a shirt or two) or money I don't know how to answer that He may need some hands-on support / advice: getting his driver's license and / or social security card, signing up for food stamps, transportation to the PO's office and to look for work.

Hopefully others will have more ideas on how you can help him from there.



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Old 09-24-2018, 05:45 PM
fbopnomore fbopnomore is offline
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If he is released on parole, he will have a PO who will have to approve just about anything he does, where he can live, which jobs he can work at, who he can, and cannot associate with, and on & on.

To know what he needs will have to come from him. Just being available, positive and supportive of his reentry into society will be important since he will be starting his life over after such a long time in prison.
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