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Raising Children with Parents in Prison For the Parent left behind with children AND for the Children that have a parent inside. Discussion of unique challenges facing this group!

View Poll Results: Was ur babys daddy locked up when his baby was born?
yes 141 76.22%
no 25 13.51%
shortly after the birth 19 10.27%
Voters: 185. You may not vote on this poll

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  #1  
Old 01-13-2009, 09:50 AM
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Question Was your childs daddy locked up when his baby was born?

Was just curious as to how many women have had to go through childbirth without their baby daddys? I did and it was and very stressful. I am sure that there are more than just me to share this experience . What did he think or how did he feel?
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Old 01-13-2009, 09:53 AM
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He went in when I was only 3 1/2 wks pregnant and 10 days after we found out. It was very hard for me to go thru it without him. It was hard for him as well cause he wanted a child more than anything. When he saw me father's day 03 the day before she was born (*she came early*) he cried.
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Old 01-13-2009, 09:53 AM
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I had to go throughit too. He was arrested on jan 28th 2007 and I went into labor with our son on feb 3rd due partly to stress. The baby was born on feb 7th 2007 7 1/2 weeks too early and spent almost a month in NICU. I found out late ron that the jail did not even tell him that he had a son even though I called from the delivery room and then again later to check and make sure that they had told him. They lied and told me that he had been notified. He didn't even know that the baby had been in the NICU.
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Old 01-13-2009, 03:45 PM
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Yes and no. Hubby went into County August 2004 and I was four months pregnant. Through a lot of letters from doctors, employers, family, etc., the judge agreed to let him out for the birth of our daughter. He came home Dec. 22, 2004, I had her C-section 01/10/05 and he went back in March 05 and came back home May 05.

Although I did not have to go through the birth alone, I did go through most of the pregnancy alone and with a toddler and a full time job!! And then having to take care of the baby, and our son by myself was no bed of roses either.... LOL
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Old 01-13-2009, 03:52 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by patswife4-ever View Post
Yes and no. Hubby went into County August 2004 and I was four months pregnant. Through a lot of letters from doctors, employers, family, etc., the judge agreed to let him out for the birth of our daughter. He came home Dec. 22, 2004, I had her C-section 01/10/05 and he went back in March 05 and came back home May 05.

Although I did not have to go through the birth alone, I did go through most of the pregnancy alone and with a toddler and a full time job!! And then having to take care of the baby, and our son by myself was no bed of roses either.... LOL
wow you are really lucky , that would never happen here.
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Old 01-13-2009, 10:11 PM
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My husband went to prison when I was 5 months pregnant with our first child and again when I was about 5 months pregnant with our 3rd child. I had to move myself and my 2 kids from our apartment when I was pregnant with our 3rd.....you really learn who your friends are in times like that. It was difficult hearing other happy couples sharing in their special moment, and I couldn't even call and talk to my husband.........the 3rd time was difficult because he was there for the 2nd and I knew what it was like to have him by my side.....and he was great. His counselor was great though..I called him and he passed on the message that he was born right after I hung up....
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Old 01-15-2009, 10:49 AM
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I just posted in your other thread
I was 3 months pregnant when my man went in. 2 years later.. still locked up.
I'm happy though. My son was a blessing
It was very stressful. But our son has motivated us to be better. So everything I do.. I do it for him. I am conquering my goals for the future of my son. When I was in the hospital my man called me while I was giving birth. I was angry at him at first because this was our first child and he has always wanted a son. I told him that everyone was holding their man's hand and I was holding on to some metal bars around the bed. He said "baby I was too!". He tried to make me laugh.. didn't work. When I walked into the visiting room all of the inmates started calling out my man's name.. like here comes Lil "W.." referring to our son. I took our son to see him when he was 2-3 weeks old. He was so nervous and happy.. I will never forget the look he had on his face that. So I know my man talked about our son all the time. I take our son to go see him as much as I can. I love seeing them together. I can't wait till he comes home.
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Old 01-15-2009, 08:43 PM
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Same situation here..i was 7 months when he went in.. yes mine is our blessing
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Old 01-15-2009, 09:46 PM
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i did not give birth while he was in, but had three kids ages 8, 10 and 12 when he went in. that in itself was very very hard night after night consoling my kids that their dad played such a huge part in up until then. my best to your new little one
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Old 01-15-2009, 09:51 PM
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he was there for my son and went in when i was 7mo. pregnant with my daughter. He was getting bailed out the day after memorial day (to see his daughters birth)(25,000 later) he missed her by 28hrs. So he wasnt there and it was really hard, but she decided she wanted to come on a holiday that bail bondsmen have off i guess. i told her to wait , i knew then when she didnt listen it was gonna be a long road wtih that little girl.
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Old 01-16-2009, 12:30 PM
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I was two months when he got locked up the first time. I had a very hard pregnancy. Hospitalized for 1 1/2 months alone and my daughter was born weighing 1 pound 13 ounces. He came home when she was four months old and got locked right back up two days later. Came home and she was almost 2 by the time he got out.
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Old 01-20-2009, 09:30 PM
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My husband was in the county jail when I had my son. We were both a lot younger than we are now. We were apart for 12 years and then we reunited and got married.
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Old 01-22-2009, 02:50 AM
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I was barely 3 months pregnate when i got locked up i went to prison my man didnt go to prison till march of 2007, i had already been locked up for almost 7 months before he went. i had her april 5th of 07, and she lived with me there for the first 7 months of her life. now shes almost 2 and she crys for her daddy. she tells me i want daddy over and over again. he doesnt get out till the end of 2010. shes never met him. its really sad. i am off community custody so maybe i will get approved so we can see him
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Old 01-22-2009, 10:25 AM
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Default 8 months along

My man was picked up at our home (the one we just moved into) when I was 8 months pregnant.
The day our son was born we called the federal holding facility where he was and asked them to let him know. They never did. He didnt even know that his son was born until after we were both home and my man called to check on me.
The hardest part was finances. I had to go back to work when the baby was 2 weeks old (after a c-section). My work was kind enough to let me bring him with me for the first few months. I work at a resort, in the office. Now he attends day care.
We had budgeted for the new house on 2 incomes. I have managed to make it work on one paycheck- like they say, "Where theres a will, theres a way"
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Old 01-22-2009, 12:57 PM
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I did as well and it was the most difficult thing I ever had to go through. Syheed was extremely mean to me too. I guess for the most part he was angry he wasn't on the streets. And he took it out my me and his parents. That made it a whole lot harder. But of course after our son was born that changed.
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Old 01-25-2009, 08:45 PM
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Default I know the feeling

he wasnt there for the birth of our 3rd child my baby father was locked up 3 months into my pregnancy it was really hard going into the operating room alone i cried the whole time in the hospitalit was very depressing she was born 12-27-06 he came home 2-13-07 now hes up state facing 1 1/2 i know its not going to get any easier
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Old 01-26-2009, 01:49 PM
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Well I am embarrassed to say I thought I was the only one , but everyday I am hearing and reading about more and more woman whose babydaddy is in prison while they are out here pregers and having the baby without him. I found out I was pregnant while we were both incarcerated and it was scarey as hell, but a blessing as well. He has been locked up ever since. I sent sonagrams in the mail, I sent pictures of me and my belly!! He loved it and then I had the baby he is amazing Justice now 3 an a half months old. The day I had him my mother called the chaplin and left a message asking if he could pass on the info. He did not, but luckily my mom called back at the advice of a friend and spoke directly with the chaplin he allowed Wallace a phone call to call my room and it was very emotional for us both. He really wanted to be there but was proud of me all the same!! It is hard having a baby and I also have two older children whose father is now waiting in the County for a court date. But I find strength everday to do what needs to be done. Wallace got to hold the baby at our first visit when his son was 2 months old. It was wonderful and we go see him twice a month an I think it is really good for both of them.
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Old 01-27-2009, 04:24 PM
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well, my daughter was barely over a month when he got locked up and his daughter wasn't born until that December...but he still has great relationships with both of the girls!
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Old 01-27-2009, 10:28 PM
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Yep, got locked up the day after we found out...haven't seen him since (he's in TX i'm in IA) , currently eight months preggo, due april 8th, his first plea bargain was for 40yrs....he hasn't been much help...
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Old 01-28-2009, 01:04 AM
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He went away when i was about 9 weeks pregnant. I am now 7and a half. He should be home right before the baby is due if the little guy doesn't decide to come early. it's been hard we have 2 now ages 2,3. So i have to deal with them asking for daddy. We can't see him b/c he's a far drive away and i rather not travel prego with 2 small kids. He's sad at the fact that he missed basically the whole pregnancy.
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Old 01-28-2009, 01:33 PM
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yeah he got locked up when i was 4mnts prego..it was hard plus i was teenage mother..but me and him are no longer together..he stil is locked up and hasnt changed
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Old 01-29-2009, 08:48 PM
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Default Can relate!!

Oh I can so relate to all!! My fiancee turned himself in after there was a warrant out for his arrest. I had just recently bailed him out (four months prior to that) and we had a bad fight and I had called the police. Because of his bad record they issued a warrant. At the time I was @ 10 weeks pregnant. He was held on no bail and the judge would not even let him out for the birth, even when I went to court @ 8 months pregnant. Dealing with pregnancy, your body changing on top of everything else was the most awful time of my life. Not having my fiancee here to share and take care of me and having to do it all alone was the absolute worst part of the situation. But I survived and we have a beautiful son (almost 9 months old!!). Immediately after he was born I had called the jail to ask if they could relay the message or for him just to call me and they said "NO". It still bothers me that he wasn't and still isn't here so I'm hoping to find forgiveness and It's finally nice to know there are others whom have and are going through the same!
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Old 02-05-2009, 12:30 PM
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My fiance went to jail when my daughter was 6 days old.
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Old 02-05-2009, 03:02 PM
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I was 3 months pregnant when he went in and our daughter finally got to see him inperson for the first time in january (she is 3 1/2 years old now) and it has been somewhat of a problem. I show her his pictures and everything but after 2 visits she still has not completely warmed up to him yet. I hope we get there soon because it hurts him a lot that she doesn't like him and he blames himself. i know when she gets to know him she will love him more than anything in this world
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Old 02-18-2009, 11:47 PM
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Thank God he was there when our son was born, I am Thankful for that each day.
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