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Now That Your Loved One Is Home... Please share stories about your loved one now they are home.

View Poll Results: MWI and...
still together? 134 81.71%
no longer together? 30 18.29%
Voters: 164. You may not vote on this poll

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  #51  
Old 01-31-2011, 09:21 PM
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Thank you to all for sharing your stories. I will most definitely be here to share my story when the time comes. Hopefully that will be 2012. And until then I'll be back reading the updates that are added.
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  #52  
Old 02-26-2011, 03:22 PM
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Default Home 10 months now...

Well, hubby's been home 10 months & all is well. But it's been a HARD road! Let me back up....we MWI in 2004. We married in 2006 and he came home in 2010. To say that it's been an adjustment (having him home) is an understatement. I was used to being alone, calling the shots, making the decisions, and "doing it all" for all of my adult life. Then here comes my husband and totally invades my world! What an exercise in patience & compromise! But the bigger adjustment, I'm sure, was on his end. He did over 30 years and came out to an entirely different world. He never used a cell phone, a computer, a debit card, etc, etc. I had to (patiently) teach him so much of what we take for granted each day, in addition to socially reintegrating him. Not easy! He blew a few gaskets & went off the deep end a couple times. But we sought counseling & got him back on track. COMMUNICATION & HONESTY ARE KEY!!!

Anyway, yes, I'd say we're a success story. We continue to learn & grow together every day. Life is good.
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  #53  
Old 04-17-2011, 07:19 AM
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How long did he/she serve AFTER you met?
He had been in prison almost 10 years when I started writing him. After writing for 6 months I went to visit, we fell for each other and became a "couple" in May of 2004. He got out in late June 2007... so he served about 3 1/2 years after we got to know each other.
Thought I'd update again since I got my old nickname back This last post of mine was in 2008. Three years later we're still going strong. We've done this long distance thing for most of that time minus 7 months last year (which was HEAVEN) when he came to my country to live and work. This is the last year of the LDR stuff - enough is enough. It would have been enough after 1 year but shyte happens and you just have to roll with it
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  #54  
Old 07-21-2011, 10:47 PM
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Change mine to No Longer Together... Things started out pretty well...then he was making his own money, had his own time, and apparantly connections of his own to get the drugs I never knew he'd had a problem with...Not something I can handle with 2 kids.
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  #55  
Old 08-22-2011, 10:21 AM
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Hi friends I have a favor to ask...

Regardless of how our members met their significant other some do not continue posting good bad or otherwise once the homecoming arrives/is over. This makes it more difficult to get a feel for what may or may not have happened.


In order for us to get a better understanding of why this may occur, please take a moment to participate in the following survey:

How long did he/she serve AFTER you met?

8 years

Would you consider your relationship successful? How so?

Yes our relationship is successful. We are best friends and partners in every sense and we share everything with one another. Respect, communication and humor are the keys that help us solve the day to day issues that arise for any couple.


If you are still together how long have you been together?

We were together for a little over 8 years while he was still in prison and it has been almost 10 months since he's been home.

Describe any strengths or weaknesses you feel may be contributed to the fact that you are/were a MWI couple if you feel that applies.

We both feel that we were able to get to know one another better than most couples who meet and fall in love in the free world because we wrote one another every day for so many years. That is a whole lot of communication, more than most couples have when talking together while dating. We have always shared EVERY aspect of our lives with one another from the beginning of our relationship and that is still the case.


If you broke up when did this happen and what factors do you feel contributed to ending the relationship? In addition to any specific problems that may have ocurred please share your thoughts as to whether or not you feel that being MWI was a consideration.

Still together and HAPPY!
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  #56  
Old 09-07-2011, 06:48 PM
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Patty, this is a WONDERFUL thread!!! It really gives me hope that things will work out for my MWI and I. He will be getting out next month so I will be sure to report back on this thread after he is home for a while!!! Thanks again!
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  #57  
Old 09-15-2011, 07:32 PM
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Thank you Patty for this thread. My husband will be home in 6 days so I have gained some insight and cant wait to report back on our journey!!
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  #58  
Old 01-20-2012, 10:02 PM
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Thank you so much ladies! My husband is coming home in March. We MWI in 2008. He has served 11 years. We got married in November 2011. I have been on my own for a long time, and he's been where he is for a long time. I know it's going to be a HUGE adjustment for both of us, so I am freaking out a little. I kind of expected about 6 months after they voted to send him home to prepare myself...but they're giving us 45....... Thesee success stories have been great!
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  #59  
Old 06-15-2012, 11:55 PM
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After looking at the successful stories and in contrast hearing the horror stories, i never thought of giving up on my baby. Throughout my time with him, we are strengthening our relationship day by day! this post really...really gives me hope. I pray that God continues to bless all of our relationships and bring those that are coming home to us soon safely and ready for their new journey.
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  #60  
Old 11-25-2012, 05:56 AM
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Ok...I am very late. Once, sweetie came home...life took different turns---adjustments, and well, I didn't see the need for PrisonTalk. But, now I realize, all the more, I should have been writing and documenting our journey.

Sweetie and I met as a MWI. He had already served 9.5 years before I met him. Since initial meeting, I served with him 8 years. He is home now--been home for 2 years. We recently got married--lovely, intimate wedding with friends and family. I am so glad I followed his advice to WAIT (and see). It has been an adjustment to say the least, but with each day, the prayer is that we love GOD and each other more and more.

Yes, it gets difficult, but I remember our friendship and the principle of love---so we hang in there! I'd say we're a success...still together after 11 years!!! Whew!!! Time does fly when you're having fun, ladies!!!!! Trust me...enjoy and flourish the friendship, and see how it grows. You grow in the process, as well. Blessings!!!

He's HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we'se married, now--Sept. 2012
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  #61  
Old 11-28-2012, 11:56 AM
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How long did he/she serve AFTER you met?
We met January 1977. He was released December 2010. 33 years 11 months.

Would you consider your relationship successful? How so?
Yes. Our relationship is full of challenges. It's definitely not perfect, however, we are both unconditionally committed to our relationship and making it work; that not being perfect is OK. I would rather have a relationship that was enjoyable and passionate, than a lackadaisical relationship that was so comfortable it became boring.
With that said; boring we are not. What we do best is talk. We have been having a conversation for the past 8 years and prior - 1977 to 1979 - 3 years. We agree on little; discuss everything, argue incessantly, laugh at/with one another, compare notes, confront, dare, interrogate, protest, provoke each other……well, you get the idea. What we do best is converse. We are both talkers. Often you can hear us from a block away yelling over one another to make a point.
This is not to imply that we do this out of anger. He’s the most interesting person I have ever known.

If you are still together how long have you been together? Describe any strengths or weaknesses you feel may be contributed to the fact that you are/were a MWI couple if you feel that applies.
It will be 12 years total in about a month. I had never thought of our relationship as MWI until I found Prison Talk. Not that I know anyone beside us that has conceived a relationship as we have…..I just never thought it odd or unusual. I answered an ad in a magazine and wrote a guy that appeared to be lonely in prison. That was it. Nothing more, nothing less.
I don’t now and will never understand why prison makes our relationship any more remarkable than another.

If you broke up when did this happen and what factors do you feel contributed to ending the relationship? In addition to any specific problems that may have ocurred please share your thoughts as to whether or not you feel that being MWI was a consideration.
MWI was never a consideration (see above). We broke up for 25 years; from 1979 to 2004.
Simple: December 1979 we were both 24; I soon to be 25. It was the Life sentence. I could not do Life. I left.
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  #62  
Old 12-20-2012, 05:25 PM
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Thanks Patty for starting this thread. I've often wondered how the MWI's homecoming are progressing and if they are still together. I'm excited to know how our life is going to be next year. It would be interesting to know if there are any MWI relationships that continued to be long distance after their release. That is going to be my case when he gets out. He's going to be paroled to his mother in NY. It's great to see more success stories. It gives me more hope.
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  #63  
Old 12-21-2012, 01:34 PM
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It's nice to see just how many MWI relationships have worked. Thank you for this thread.
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  #64  
Old 12-21-2012, 08:46 PM
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Originally Posted by Iceony76 View Post
Thanks Patty for starting this thread. I've often wondered how the MWI's homecoming are progressing and if they are still together. I'm excited to know how our life is going to be next year. It would be interesting to know if there are any MWI relationships that continued to be long distance after their release. That is going to be my case when he gets out. He's going to be paroled to his mother in NY. It's great to see more success stories. It gives me more hope.
If you read back through these posts, you will see that Rox73's has been long distance the majority of the time, since he has been home....and long distance as in overseas...so VERY long distance.

I had forgotten all about this thread...glad I found it again; has been good to see the posts. It's crazy that my first post in here was in 2008...here I am, posting over 4 years later....and m'love is still behind the prison walls, with 4 more years to go still. Sigh. I hope that in 5 years from now, I will remember this thread so I can come in and give a one-year-home update.
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  #65  
Old 03-10-2013, 03:49 PM
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I know no one has posted in a while but just wanted to provide an update from my end Yes we are still together and happier than ever

How long did he/she serve AFTER you met? We actually met after he had been released. He finished serving a 7 year sentence November 2011 and I flew over to see him at the halfway house in February 2012


Would you consider your relationship successful? How so? Yes I believe so We are still together and moving forward each and every day. WE have over come obstacles in terms of the distance but we have remained together through it all.Our next goal is saving for a house


If you are still together how long have you been together? Describe any strengths or weaknesses you feel may be contributed to the fact that you are/were a MWI couple if you feel that applies. We are still together and have been since November 2011 Strengths we have include the friendship we had formed before becoming a couple (were just friends/penpals for 6 months prior to becoming a couple) as we are also best friends as corny as that may sound. Being penpals at first I think has also helped us to cope with being long distance (he's in Memphis TN and I am in Western Australia)

Weakenesses I think were mainly on my part not being very patient some times over silly things (he can't sleep without the tv on as he doesn't like it completely quiet as he's used to that meaning something bad is happening) but we only faced that in our first long stay visit (july for 5 weeks after he got his own place) and I realised I was being selfish and not as understanding as I should be after he had been in prison for so long
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  #66  
Old 04-21-2013, 10:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shaunna View Post
I know no one has posted in a while but just wanted to provide an update from my end Yes we are still together and happier than ever

How long did he/she serve AFTER you met? We actually met after he had been released. He finished serving a 7 year sentence November 2011 and I flew over to see him at the halfway house in February 2012


Would you consider your relationship successful? How so? Yes I believe so We are still together and moving forward each and every day. WE have over come obstacles in terms of the distance but we have remained together through it all.Our next goal is saving for a house


If you are still together how long have you been together? Describe any strengths or weaknesses you feel may be contributed to the fact that you are/were a MWI couple if you feel that applies. We are still together and have been since November 2011 Strengths we have include the friendship we had formed before becoming a couple (were just friends/penpals for 6 months prior to becoming a couple) as we are also best friends as corny as that may sound. Being penpals at first I think has also helped us to cope with being long distance (he's in Memphis TN and I am in Western Australia)

Weakenesses I think were mainly on my part not being very patient some times over silly things (he can't sleep without the tv on as he doesn't like it completely quiet as he's used to that meaning something bad is happening) but we only faced that in our first long stay visit (july for 5 weeks after he got his own place) and I realised I was being selfish and not as understanding as I should be after he had been in prison for so long
I'm so glad you replied to this thread shaunna and it popped up in the new posts! Thanks Patty for starting the thread. I love reading all the success stories!
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  #67  
Old 04-24-2013, 12:27 AM
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How long did he/she serve AFTER you met?

We met in November of 2010 and he was released in September of 2011.


Would you consider your relationship successful? How so?

Far from it.


If you broke up when did this happen and what factors do you feel contributed to ending the relationship? In addition to any specific problems that may have ocurred please share your thoughts as to whether or not you feel that being MWI was a consideration.

Our communication was not right - at all. There were A LOT of things we both lied about when we wrote/visited/spoke on the phone while he was still in. It really wasn't anything major - but not the point. I think that is where the trust issues started. They only got worse upon his release, when he would be around my friends and we would talk about college stories - he started to become jealous, insecure and just flat out mean. He then became abusive - verbally, emotionally and finally physically. I still love him very much, and we do still talk, but live separately, and I'm almost positive the end of our relationship has arrived. It's a hard pill to swallow - I always hoped we would be a positive story! We found out we were expecting our first child a couple months back, but unfortunately I had a miscarriage...not sure if that was a sign. I wish him the best, of course, and ultimately just hope for him to stay out of trouble and keep his life on track!

I definitely think everything had to do with the fact that we were MWI - we didn't communicate as a normal couple - and personally speaking, I never thought it was actually going to work out between us - I thought that he wasn't even going to come home to me! Just altogether, it led us to a very bad situation! We got along perfectly (for the most part) while he was in...I feel in love hard...and that is definitely a reason why it's so hard to let go now! Sometimes I wish he was still the same person as he was when I was writing/visiting/accepting phone calls...I guess you'll have that when you don't know a person prior to their prison bid!

congrats to all with success stories - don't mean to rain on the parade! just reality I suppose!
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  #68  
Old 06-20-2013, 01:56 PM
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I love reading all the stories can't wait for my babe to come home we are MWI
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Old 10-27-2013, 03:03 PM
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How long did he/she serve AFTER you met?

He served 2 years after we met. We decided to become a couple after 6 months of writing.

Would you consider your relationship successful? How so?
Yeah, I'd consider us pretty successful. We have our ups and downs like every couple but we're a strong couple, we communicate well and we respect each other. We have lots of fun together!

If you are still together how long have you been together? Describe any strengths or weaknesses you feel may be contributed to the fact that you are/were a MWI couple if you feel that applies.

We've been together now in total for almost 3 years. He has been home 10 months. We got married this year and are expecting our first baby in December.
We learned a lot about each other before he came home and it was a great relief to know that throughout our relationship, while he was incarcerated, we were both totally honest with each other. We knew each other so well already when he came home initially but still had a lot to learn afterwards. It's been a roller coaster but I've loved every minute of it. I moved from the UK to the US to be with him a few weeks before he came home and I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat







If you broke up when did this happen and what factors do you feel contributed to ending the relationship? In addition to any specific problems that may have ocurred please share your thoughts as to whether or not you feel that being MWI was a consideration.
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  #70  
Old 02-22-2014, 10:37 PM
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Smile A crazy ride but I'm glad we're taking it together

How long did he/she serve AFTER you met?

He was in for 8yrs we met in May 2012 he still had 11 months to go


Would you consider your relationship successful? How so?

I do consider us a success things have not been perfect I have been going thru some of the worst months of my life not becuz of him but something else and even tho it was a lot for him to deal wit, being as tho he was fresh out and he has never had to deal wit adult like situations, he has been right by my side thru all the tears, attitudes, and stress. Wen I fell he was here to pick me up and be my rock. He has some issues due to all the time he spent in prison at such a young age but we have agreed to go to counseling to work thru some of those things. Overall we're ok my children love him to death and he takes care of them even tho their own father doesn't and I love him so much for tht. We're a family for sure and soon everything will be official he got on his knee and proposed wit a beautiful ring on valentines day in front of my mother it was perfect.

If you are still together how long have you been together? Describe any strengths or weaknesses you feel may be contributed to the fact that you are/were a MWI couple if you feel that applies.

We have been together for a 1yr and 9mon. The fact tht he is still young kinda gets in the way becuz there is a lot he doesn't kno but he is not a closed minded person so he is willing to learn plus he has a really good PO tht really cares and helps him wen he feels like I'm controlling lol . I don't think us being MWI has mattered in our case becuz we fell in line like we been knowing each other for forever if we didn't say how we met no one would've had a clue.

If you broke up when did this happen and what factors do you feel contributed to ending the relationship? In addition to any specific problems that may have ocurred please share your thoughts as to whether or not you feel that being MWI was a consideration.

Breaking up is not a option for us we are dedicated to making our relationship work.
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Old 11-22-2014, 09:55 AM
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Thank you SOOO much to everyone who has shared and for starting this poll. I am pretty new to this site and this thread brings a smile to my face. I'm MWI for a little over a year (he's been in for 31 months) and we have 28 months to go. We met through my sister's husband. They were friends for many years before he went in. You read all the statistics online that state 85% of MWI relationships end badly, divorce, etc. WELL, I am looking the to poll and I see that 82% are still together! Take that, statistics! Fancy and I have a very open and honest relationship. I am close with his family, he's spoken with and written mine, and pending an up coming transfer (keep your fingers crossed for us), he will be close enough for my family to meet him. I feel like being MWI gives us an opportunity to truly learn how to communicate and learn each other before we live our daily lives together when he's home. I am sure it won't be all rainbows and butterflies at first with transitions and such, but this site has so much amazing information and has given me many tools that I need. I am grateful for our situation because we can't be blinded by the physical part of a relationship, though I hope to when he gets home I am sure most people don't understand that, many of you lovely folks here do completely. So here's to US, let's be the new, true statistic!
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  #72  
Old 12-10-2014, 11:00 AM
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Well, my husband has been home just a few days but we have had weekends together from the halfway house for about 5 months. We as a couple are good and madly in love. We have been married 7 months yesterday and together mwi for about 14 months. I am so so very happy that he is home now but something has dawned on me that I did not anticipate. We don't how to be a "normal" couple. We are used to cramming all things into 2 days a week so it is normally non stop but now that we have time together it is hard to be just a regular married couple. No more visitations at the hwh and making dinners to take to him or nightly marathon phone calls. I know it seems trivial to some but it has me a little stuck about how to fall into a regular routine. Others experience this?He was in prison 14 years so he seems content with the smallest of things but I tend to get aggravated at such details and my anxiety level seems to be on the rise due to no fault of his. I was single for many years before this so I am used to doing things on my own, in my own time and by my own rules so it is a bit of an adjustment to have him underfoot but I also enjoy having him here. After all, this was what we waited for. I am hoping it will settle and we can manage some sort of normal, or what is normal for us. I am just not sure what that is just yet...lol
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  #73  
Old 12-31-2014, 09:50 AM
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There are so many posts about MWI relationships that have broken up and how ugly it is. I have a lot of faith in my relationship but that doesn't mean that I am not completely realistic on the fact that by the time he gets out we will be really really old, if he even gets out. So, we work with what we have. I love our communication. I love our relationship and I love him! So, thanks ladies for you wonderful words of encouragement through your positive interactions with your significant others. Wonderful. I only hope all of you are still going strong! Thanks again!!!!
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Old 01-01-2015, 05:30 PM
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I find it hard to believe that so many more MWI relationships in this poll have made it vs. not made it. My guess is that the ones that have not made it didn't participate in the poll. It's more likely that MWI will not be successful. Kudo's for the 121 people that the relationship did work out but I don't think this poll is not a real picture of MWI relationships.
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Old 01-03-2015, 01:24 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by smitten_Kitten View Post
Thank you SOOO much to everyone who has shared and for starting this poll. I am pretty new to this site and this thread brings a smile to my face. I'm MWI for a little over a year (he's been in for 31 months) and we have 28 months to go. We met through my sister's husband. They were friends for many years before he went in. You read all the statistics online that state 85% of MWI relationships end badly, divorce, etc. WELL, I am looking the to poll and I see that 82% are still together! Take that, statistics! Fancy and I have a very open and honest relationship. I am close with his family, he's spoken with and written mine, and pending an up coming transfer (keep your fingers crossed for us), he will be close enough for my family to meet him. I feel like being MWI gives us an opportunity to truly learn how to communicate and learn each other before we live our daily lives together when he's home. I am sure it won't be all rainbows and butterflies at first with transitions and such, but this site has so much amazing information and has given me many tools that I need. I am grateful for our situation because we can't be blinded by the physical part of a relationship, though I hope to when he gets home I am sure most people don't understand that, many of you lovely folks here do completely. So here's to US, let's be the new, true statistic!
I've been a member of this site for close to 9 years and one of the first things I learned is that MANY people don't pay attention to the forum they're in when answering poll questions. So I have no doubt that most of the MWI'ers that answered the poll, did so while their man was (and very well still is) locked up. So those statistics aren't reliable. You are correct in that ruffly 15% of MWI relationships make it.
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