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  #26  
Old 06-19-2017, 07:21 PM
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Originally Posted by HisHarleyQ View Post
I'm confused by what you're saying a check in is
We frequently discuss our relationship. He specifically says ' am I giving you what you need to sustain our relationship'. I answer and if there is an issue we discuss that. In other words....honey is there any need that you have that's no filled that MIGHT cause either of us to look outside of US
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  #27  
Old 06-19-2017, 08:19 PM
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Originally Posted by HisHarleyQ View Post
Well IMO I think he thinks I'm cheating. He's not said those words. I've told him what's been going on here and he's like sweetie I love you with love comes trust. I trust you. I trust you're not doing anything.
And a big reason he wants out is to get back to working again. I usually keep the house and get my check. He's never made me work. He feels like me keeping house is enough. He's not really throwing a tantrum I should have explained better .... And I'm sorry. Maybe I'm getting in my own head? Idk. He just wants out cause he misses me. He agrees we should have a stable place to live but every time he calls its asking what's going on with getting him out. Its so annoying.😩😩
Girl... no reasonable person would take the information you've provided and think.... "he thinks I'm cheating". In fact... this paragraph makes it sound like you deliberately planted a seed there and he didn't exactly nurture it.

This is in YOUR head. Not his. "I think he thinks I'm cheating".

FFS... go find a part time job or something so you have something else to do.
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  #28  
Old 06-20-2017, 01:46 AM
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To answer the original question: either one of us cheating, no matter what the situation might be, has never been an issue. We trust and respect each other. And - the few times in the beginning of our relationship that we tried to read each other's mind? We were 100% wrong every time. So we quit assuming we knew what was in the other's head and worked harder on our communication skills.

If he did start wondering about me, that'd be HIS problem, not mine. How the hell am I s'posed to "prove" I'm "being good" out here? IMO, that's a totally unreasonable expectation on anyone's part.

But even more to the point, why should I think for one nano-second that I should have to?
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Last edited by fiat_nox; 06-20-2017 at 01:48 AM.. Reason: typos drive me absolutely insane
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  #29  
Old 06-20-2017, 01:54 AM
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ps. not to be snarky . . . but
I don't think I'm the only one who doesn't give a fuzzy rat's ass about your past/present/future sex life. None of what you've told us about your sexual experiences have had a thing to do with the issue being discussed. It's simply not necessary to share when you lost your virginity, that you were a slut for awhile and what kind of sex you and your bf are in to. Nope. Not even in this thread. It's TMI.
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  #30  
Old 06-20-2017, 06:25 AM
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I am going to say that sometimes when they are accusing us of cheating, that is exactly what they are doing.

Like others have commented, they go through all kinds of crazy thoughts when they get locked up, but it doesn't mean we allow them to accuse us of cheating.
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  #31  
Old 06-20-2017, 03:59 PM
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no I live with his parents
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  #32  
Old 06-22-2017, 06:22 PM
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Mine hasn't outright accused me but has asked some question before which hinted at wondering if I do. I always try to reassure him that I'm not and I think he finally believes me as it's not been brought up in a while.
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  #33  
Old 06-24-2017, 08:52 PM
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My boyfriend is about to go for 2 years and I just know that once he leaves, he'll think I'm cheating or get super insecure. Especially once the other guys start telling him stories. But like lifetraveler said ^ actions speak louder than words. And I will show him that he has nothing to worry about. Yes I will be going out with my friends, I'm almost 21 but I will not cheat on him because I love him
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  #34  
Old 06-24-2017, 08:59 PM
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We both have our insecure moments. It's natural. We both laughed because we were both lonely and sometimes reading on here will have me question things. He worries I'll go out drinking and something will happen. Meanwhile I haven't gone out drinking in years.

When you can't see what the other person is doing, we sometimes allow our mind to wander. I worked a lot and he usually calls very early to wake me up. I asked if he could call an hour later, so I could sleep in. Part of him felt that I could have gone out, but he had to fight that all night. He also works nights and goes to bed after we talk. I didn't think about that and it cut onto his 2-3 hrs of sleep.

It happens, but only good, open communication can resolve it. In the end, today we were both missing each other and scared. By the end of the night, we both felt better. It happens every few weeks.
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  #35  
Old 07-25-2017, 05:24 PM
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He heard stories a while back, and it really bothered him. He would tell me what was said. I would refute it. I got really fed up with it. I told him that if he didn't know my intention, he really needed to believe that he knew my heart, because I was sick and tired of having the same discussions with him. I think that often it is their own belief that they are falling short of providing you with what you need or deserve physically and emotionally, that allows them to start questioning if those needs are being met elsewhere. The guilt causes them to question and insinuate things. Communication. It is so important, and will prevent or solve so many problems.
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  #36  
Old 07-26-2017, 03:40 PM
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No worries from either of us about cheating. So no never
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  #37  
Old 08-20-2017, 01:07 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OnlyInTexas View Post
We check in on this subject frequently. I VERY early in our relationship dated other men, unknowing he had himself committed to ME. We are now a devout couple and welcome our 'check ins'. It's just that a check in, never gets ugly, out of hand or blaming. We are both adults and keep it in that level.



We check in frequently on all levels of our relationship. We feel it important to know/understand where the other is. Are each getting what the need to continue the relationship, are we connected, our goals etc.

Hang in there and stay sane. Don't let the situation corner you into making bad. Voices for ourself or the relationship
Me and my guy does this as well . I think I bring it up more than he does. Just so we're both on the same page about everything so we don't have to wonder you Know. I'm not gonna cheat on mines even though he thinks I am cuz I'm friendly to other people but I don't try to lead anyone on. I'm just a nice person to everyone. 5 years is a long time but he's worth the wait so I'm sticking to it .
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  #38  
Old 08-22-2017, 06:13 AM
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No, this hasn't been an issue in my relationship, thank God.
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  #39  
Old 08-22-2017, 02:32 PM
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We never even discuss this. I would never cheat and him. Either. I live with his parents. He is a great guy. Great relationship.
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