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When the Relationship is Over... This forum is about discussing your thoughts, feelings and issues now that you and your incarcerated (or formerly incarcerated) loved one are no longer together. (This forum is NOT for bashing - please read the rules before posting.)

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  #26  
Old 12-28-2016, 12:27 AM
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Me Id walk away.He is your sons Father and I would make sure they didnt loose contact. Keep in mind karma is a beautiful thing.
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  #27  
Old 12-28-2016, 02:12 AM
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I am sorry littlebeach08 I know it is difficult but you will be okay one day...that old cliché about time healing...it is true. You said in one of our previous posts that your instinct has been telling you something's off for a year now, so I doubt this affair is very recent and your husband does not even deserve to be married to you. Move on with your head held high and know that better things (and people) are coming for you and your son. Just like Psychocandy said also, karma is a beautiful thing...in life what goes around comes around so just move on and leave this man to deal with the consequences because he will face them one day.

Hugs to you and remember we are here for you
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  #28  
Old 12-28-2016, 02:57 AM
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I'm so sorry I know this must hurt like hell. And you must be very angry too. I know I would be. You did good by coming on here to talk and get your feelings out. Keep doing that it will help. I don't have anything else I can think of to say other than it will get better in time just hang in there and find support. You can always private message me anytime too.
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  #29  
Old 12-28-2016, 05:19 AM
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"Married a year"
"have been sensing something is off for about a year"
What part of "he has feeling for another woman" is ok with you? That is a deal breaker in my book, but keep in mind, you know him best and have to deal with the fall out.
Good luck and keep your head up.
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  #30  
Old 12-28-2016, 08:28 AM
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Originally Posted by littlebeach08 View Post
So I'm finally posting here. My son's father of 8 years were together 2 years b4 he went in and now married 1 year. He's done 6 years with 4 to go. He said he has feelings for another woman. Should I fight for what I love or is too late? That's the point I'm at...what would you do?
Aw chica... So sorry to hear this. *hugs thru cyber today for you. Do you mind if i ask his age and yours? I know that some women(my nieces )age only 18. 21 Now, now these 2 would. Both admit they were/are at times too "immature" not to realize their worth... 1 is now trying to mature and not do that anymore...(he almost 22 january 3rd.) Now...I don't know grown women in late 20s... (26 and up) 30s,
40s etc, who would go back to a man/and or fight for a guy like that. I think it all depend on YOU. Can you ever trust him again if you're wasting time fighting for him? I would stay out of his pathetic selfish life and move on and i would "let him fight 4 u" when he realize you're really gone and movin' on with a happy life you're having without such him." No man in "prison jail cell is worth fighting for" and that is MY own opinion, or out here. Again, not worth it. JMHO on that...#BadKarma and Good karma is real. I believe in that.

+
-Why not utilize this energy and "fight"for what is right within your own self to
a.)realize your worth and that is to encompass the realization of who and what he truly is and that is a man who can't appreciate a loyal lady like you..-
b.)find a man/or let him find you through GOD's doing. The right man will come along, 1 day without you having to waste time "fighting for him."I am one who been thru it all D.V. etc. and i still never would fight now for a man and honestly? I never had to. It hurt for a while. (and yes it does)but you are better than that. R+R hun... "Realize and Recognize" you are better than "him"and what HE can give you and you're going to be much more happier when you do...Hugs...and Blessings going your way today...PM me anytime.
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Last edited by a.rare.love; 12-28-2016 at 08:34 AM..
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  #31  
Old 12-28-2016, 09:36 AM
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I too am sorry for the loss of what YOU thought was a marriage.
It sounds like he never did.
Im glad he didnt let it go on and on tho before he told you.

You will heal and feel better Im sure.
(((((hugs)))))
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  #32  
Old 12-28-2016, 04:56 PM
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Ol' Seahag would totally dump him. QUICK. Immediately cut off any and ALL assistance you were giving him. Is this new gal someone he "MWI"? My guess is that she will not be willing to put up with what you have for too long.

He will likely come crawling back at some point, just maintain your dignity. Depending on where you are in your life at the time, well you may or may not chose to take him back. Hopefully you will have found new love. But that will not happen for you if you are wasting your time with him.

Give him what he wants...GOODBYE

Start living for you! (and your son)
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  #33  
Old 02-28-2017, 12:00 AM
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He told me he was just kidding and he was going "through it" that's why he told me that. So we went to visit him and started over. Then about a week after we made up he did something that he knows isn't right and I would be thinking bad about it. So he tells me file for divorce then if you think that. I told him I don't want to do you? And he said ewww. Saying ewww is our thing if we really don't want or like something. Then he told me he used me and hung up on me. About a week later I filed for divorce because I just couldn't handle it anymore. He completely broke me. Yes I know he's in there and yes I shouldn't have let him do that to me. He's my best friend though and I let him drag me down. So after a month he calls me after I wrote him 2 weeks ago with no response. My phone was off and I haven't told him I filed yet. I want to dismiss the divorce now because I feel bad and I think he'll be mad at me for filing and I don't know what to say to him. Yes I know that's not good. I'm feeling kind of lost. I have taken a step back and started doing me and our son but I still love him and I don't want it to be like this anymore. I want our relationship to be good I know relationships aren't perfect and have ups and downs but I hate where we are now.
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  #34  
Old 02-28-2017, 06:16 AM
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Honestly at this point after hearing all this I would be done, I probably would have been done a long time ago. He plays with your feelings way too much and you allow it. He sounds very rude and immature. You can stay if you choose but know that all this is just going to continue and you aren't going to have a happy stress free life that you deserve. You said he is your best friend, that's not what friends do. Do you have other friends to talk to? Try and talk to them and go out and have some fun, I think you need to seriously consider leaving and I normally don't say that to people.
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  #35  
Old 02-28-2017, 07:40 AM
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If it were me? I'd be done as well.
He is way to much of a game player. Imagine if he's like that in there, what would he be like outside?
worse most likely.
Dont have time for bs games.
He told you to file. You did.
I'd let it go and continue with the divorce. If when he pulls his head outta his backside and wants to be a grown man who does not play with people's feelings?
Maybe.
but only maybe.

Whats that saying?
Drop him like he's hot.
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  #36  
Old 02-28-2017, 08:15 AM
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Yeah he probably called just to be rude. I wish I didn't feel this way
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  #37  
Old 02-28-2017, 10:15 AM
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Believe me after some time goes by and you start to heal and move on, you'll start to feel peace in your life as well as feeling your self-esteem and worth come back.

I used to think my abuser was my best friend. Now I see how blind I was now that I met my perfect good man. I remember him from my child hood 30 years ago and the difference is an absolute no brainer. It started w me telling him about Jimmy and he'd call and say "You're better than that and tell me how he got used by younger girls too."

Now my life is perfect and I'm truly happy with my real loving perfect man. Jeremy takes me out to eat, pays for stuff, took me to get a pedicure. We hold hands. He helps me. He's not selfish and truly loves and cares about me. Neither one of us would ever cheat on the other let alone even think about it. I don't have stress in my life anymore. You couldn't pay me to even deal with that I dealt with with this last clown loser.

You gotta let go of the toxic attachment, realize it's not healthy and not good for you and you are wasting years of your life that you can't get back. And he's just going to get out and be all about himself, other girls, you name it. Get away now and put the pieces of your life and heart back together.
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  #38  
Old 02-28-2017, 11:23 AM
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Little beach, I'd be done. Not just because he's mean and selfish, but because he's a really terrible example to raise your son with. You seriously don't want that man in your son's eyes as a role model.

So, save yourself and boy, and find out how pleasant life can be without being yo-yo-ed around by a man for whom your love only means he can abuse you without paying a price for horrid behavior.
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  #39  
Old 02-28-2017, 11:30 AM
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I already thanked him. It's just hard because I dedicated my life to him...

Just sounds like you are getting the short end of the stick here. You dedicated your life to him and he has never to tell you he has feelings for someone else. How insulting is that!?!

Just me, but I would have him served with divorce and child support papers. Then move on to find someone who can appreciate a person who is dedicated in a relationship.

Best wishes.
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  #40  
Old 02-28-2017, 01:49 PM
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Thanks everyone. I'm trying to be strong
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  #41  
Old 03-02-2017, 12:46 AM
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You should walk away from him and the situation for many reasons. He clearly only cares about himself and only seems to show your affection and treat you good when he wants something. A person who really loves you, really wants to be with you, and really is your best-friend would not purposely be cruel and hateful to you. They would not emotionally and mentally torment you, they would not seek out inappropriate contact and relationships with third parties, they would not have you be the back up plan for when they had nothing else or wanted something. The more you forgive him for these things the more he will continue to hurt you and abuse you. Over the long period of time you have been with him he has conditioned you to think it is ok for him to do this to you because you love him. Because of that he has made you blind to the fact that if he truly loved you he would not be hurting you like this and would not need all of this forgiveness. If it was me I would walk away not just for myself and my sanity but also for my child because everything this man is doing to you your child is seeing and learning from...
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  #42  
Old 03-02-2017, 05:15 AM
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This is a never ending rollercoaster ride. You are the participant on the rollercoaster and he is the person who is pushing the buttons. GET OFF THE RIDE! Stop allowing this man to push and pull your buttons and put you on this emotional rollercoaster. I know it's easier said than done because we are not in your situation, we are not feeling what you feel, but trust me we have all been faced with a hard decision and had to grieve the situation due to our pain and loss of it not working out. I not only love the support of this site but often times the realism that a lot of my fellow men and woman offer. Please understand that the only one to get off this rollercoaster is you. Hugs. I truly sympathize with you but when you finally decide to get off and not deal with the rollercoaster of emotion you will finally start the healing process and begin to move forward. Don't let anyone treat you like a yo yo. Love and have the self respect to say I am worth way more than that. You can do this!
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Old 03-02-2017, 10:32 AM
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Thank you. I know I can. Yes it is hard but you and everyone else is right. I have to mourn the loss and get over it. I've already mourned well still am kinda but I just feel different now. In a good way this has made me grow.
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  #44  
Old 03-02-2017, 10:54 AM
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Good for you! Now don't let anything sway you from your resolve to stand on your own, at least until you find a partner who is able to respect you.
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  #45  
Old 03-02-2017, 12:22 PM
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I know...I'll be ok...I'm going to get on with my life I have a lot of things to look forward to.
Glad to hear that. Life after divorce can be amazing. Mine's been so good that I celebrate my Divorciversary instead of my birthday every year!
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  #46  
Old 03-06-2017, 06:40 AM
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So I'm finally posting here. My son's father of 8 years were together 2 years b4 he went in and now married 1 year. He's done 6 years with 4 to go. He said he has feelings for another woman. Should I fight for what I love or is too late? That's the point I'm at...what would you do?
Let him go. There are more fish in the sea, ones that will treat you like they should. I was married to mine for 18 + years, took his crap, put up with lies, deception, and a horrible drug addiction he still has today. Reflect on what is most important to you. Not him. If he has feelings for someone else, that should send up fire works and red flags all over the place. Why would you want to fight it? Because you have a child with him? Believe me if he has choosen her over you, there's your answer.....
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Old 03-06-2017, 06:51 AM
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Yeah he probably called just to be rude. I wish I didn't feel this way
Its no fun having your heart strings ripped out of your chest. And you have to pick up the pieces and put them back in the right place. If he wants the other woman, she can have him, but when that relationship with the other woman ends, don't take him back, because history can repeat itself and doing it over and over is a bitch. I know. And why would you want to repeat history all over again? There are more men on our planet that will treat you like a queen, not tell you oh babe, I have feelings for someone else. Let her walk a mile in your shoes.....Best of luck to your situation......M
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  #48  
Old 03-20-2017, 08:14 PM
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it's a no-go for me. I mean if he developed feelings for someone else.

That means basically there was room in his heart... if you can, could you move on away from him?


This , right here. ICAM simply said... enough said, and i pray tonight for the OP.
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