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Friends & Families of Addicts Information for coping, dealing & living with a loved one's addictive behavior.

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  #1  
Old 11-19-2010, 10:26 AM
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Question Do addicts ever recover??

My question to you all is: do drug and alcohol abusers ever fully recover or do they just continue to relapse? My man told me that he is in NA and AA programs now and he also said that he is tired of that life (drugs and alcohol). He is also trying to find God by studying the Bible with one of his "cubies" I don't know what to believe because I feel that he may only be saying this because he is locked up and sober not running the streets or could he really be telling the truth? How can one tell?
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Old 11-19-2010, 03:33 PM
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You cannot tell until he's been out, been influenced and still maintained his sobriety. There are no tricks to suss it out until then.

Voluntary NA and AA are a good start, and if he starts working steps, that's better yet. If he gets out and starts meetings right away, starts finding a sponsor, starts building a support network, then he has a chance. But it's still not a great chance. Recovery rates are never high, but there's a saying in AA "Just keep coming". Sometimes even if you're drunk or high. Always hoping that it will finally catch.

Meanwhile, find an AlAnon meeting for yourself. They are terrific support, and they can help you stand apart from his addictions.

Most of the time, addicts/alcoholics don't speak of "recovering". They speak of being in recovery, of maintaining their sobriety, but don't assume (ever) that they are 'cured'. That would allow the demon to sneak back in.
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Last edited by nimuay; 11-19-2010 at 03:35 PM..
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Old 11-19-2010, 03:41 PM
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Recovery is life long process, just bcuz you are sober doesnt mean that you are in recovery. Being in Recovery is abstaining from any substances one has abused, understanding addiction and its process as well as altering behaviors that are still causing negative consequences in your life. JUST BCUZ YOU ARE SOBER DOESNT MEAN YOU ARE SPIRITUALLY SOBER.
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Old 11-19-2010, 03:57 PM
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I agree Recovery is a life long commitment, and they have to want it.. As of November 1st i have been clean 8 years and i still struggle sometimes. I never say im recovered completely because in a way i wont ever be, there will always be a doubt in the back of my mind as is every addict in some way has.. but its learning how to deal with that voice..
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Old 11-19-2010, 04:05 PM
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honestly,i think addiction can go into remission,but it's something that will always be there waiting just around the corner.I don't mean to sound negative.I don't believe addicts are evil people,but The addiction itself is a demon though,always lurking,just waiting to pounce.

I think it's wonderful your man is doing such positive things while still in prison.But the true test won't come until after he is out.

I would not waste time obsessing over the future,though. take each day as it comes(well,the best you can,with him in prison).Meaning encourage him now in his efforts.The future will come soon enough.
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Old 11-19-2010, 08:44 PM
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My dad was on hard drugs for so many years.. and went to jail and it wasnt the first time either. But he walked out and stayied clean for 17 years. So yes, people can recover from drugs. YES THEY CAN.
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Old 11-19-2010, 08:51 PM
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To echo what another posted said, no addict I know would ever say that they were "recovered" or "cured" or anything like that. As a former drug user, I say that I am "in recovery" even though I have not touched a drug in nearly a decade.

Recovery entails a lasting change in one's ideas, attitudes, and behaviors. While staying clean and out of trouble in jail is a good start, it is by no means a sign of lasting recovery. My guy is incarcerated due to his terrible addiction and I worry about the same things as you, trust me. As much as I want to believe him when he says he will never use again, ANY addict could pick up again at ANY time, no matter how much clean time they have.
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Old 11-19-2010, 09:42 PM
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Just to echo what everyone else said, being in recovery can be a lifelong process. An addict can only enter into recovery if he is really committed and ready to do so, because it is such a difficult endeavor. It may be hard to tell how he'll do on the outside, because right now it sounds like he might not have a choice but to attend meetings and stay clean. The one thing to keep in mind is that relapse is a normal step on the path to recovery - just because your man relapses once, twice, or more, doesn't necessarily mean he's not working his hardest to stay in recovery.
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Old 11-20-2010, 06:22 AM
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I have a relative who is an alcoholic. He says he is still one, but just not *practicing*
He never drinks at all anymore ever. He is active in AA.
I will assume its similar for an addict.
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Old 11-20-2010, 08:42 PM
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Default I Did.

When I was in High School, I was a ridiculous pothead and cokehead. I was young, ignorant, and stupid. I never got caught, but I almost did, once, and if seriously put 'the fear of god' into me. I quit cold turkey. It was the most painful experience of my life. I was stupid, though, and didn't tell anyone but a few close friends (also dumb high school kids) what was going on. I actually got away with convincing my mom that I just kept getting the flu. I think the only reason she didn't notice that something more serious was going on is because she was fighting cancer at the time, and thinking that I had the flu, had to stay away from me for fear of her own immune system. I think that quitting the coke cold-turkey like that, though, is what has kept me clean for the past ten+ years. I never want to have to go through that again. The first couple of years afterwords, I thought about going back a lot. I still do occasionally. But then I remember the 3 weeks of damn near touching hell my body put me through after quitting, plus the guilt I felt at the time for lying to my mom when she was in such a horrific part of her life, and I lose any and all desire I have for it.
So yes, it is possible for someone to quit and stay clean. They just need to really want it.
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Old 11-21-2010, 06:52 PM
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No, we just don't do partake in the drug or alcohol scene anymore. We have to change the way we think, our friends, and find a higher power. Without a higher power we do not succeed.
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Old 11-21-2010, 10:43 PM
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I have the same fears with my MWI, he says he is going to stay clean this time and so all I can do is encourage him and be there for him and have faith in him. I was very heavy into meth and alcohol for 3 yrs while I was driving a semi (the worst way to be an addict) and I ended up having a stroke due to it. The stroke is what has kept me in it but I know how hard it is living day to day and not picking it back up....I have been clean for 6 yrs now.
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Old 11-22-2010, 10:34 AM
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well the person that is the recovered addict has to want it
I have seen 2 men quit for years now and still going strong
But something someone said to me a long time ago made alot of sence
It depends on what the persons rock bottom is.
for some people its losing there wife & child, family, for some it's going to prison and for some people its Death.. so it just depends...
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