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Friends & Families of Addicts Information for coping, dealing & living with a loved one's addictive behavior.

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  #1  
Old 09-02-2010, 01:52 PM
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Default Loving an addict

My Boyfriend is an addict. I have been reading alot on addiction so that I am well informed on addiction, I have never really done any drugs before just of course smoked pot once in awhile when I was in my twentys. What I am asking is do they always go back to drugs when they are released? He says he through with using and all that comes w/it. His drug of choice was crack, I really know nothing of the drug except from what they show on movies. His last four months he is doing a program called "Commitment to change" and he says as soon as he gets here he wants to find a program to continue with. I really don't even know if thay have that kinda stuff where I live that he could find it. I just can't imagine the person that I know and have fallen for could be such an addict. I guess what I am asking is am I crazy for having faith in him? And what is with crack is it really horrible??
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Old 09-03-2010, 12:27 AM
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Well, as someone who loves an addict, I don't think you are crazy...but you do need to be careful. I've seen alot of people personally fall down the wrong path hard due to crack and it's VERY addictive. Letting him know you have faith in him may help him with his recovery, if he's sincere in what he's saying....and for both of you, I hope he is.

Maybe this will help you:

http://www.crackreality.com/default.htm

I've seen crack make good people basically lose their minds. Selling what they own for a VERY low price isn't uncommon to get their fix and it's usually not just once.
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Old 09-03-2010, 12:37 AM
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crack is bad and evil you willl sell anything just to get $$$$$ for it. it takes over your mind when you do the first hit, you can go for days on this stiff!!! crack is cocaine that is cooked to make it hard and is smoked in a glass pipe with chore-boy, to use as the filter.. make sure he stays away from old friends, and i truly think that a crack person can change, although the temptation will always haunt him...... it would have to come from within this person to just say NO MORE!!!!!! good luck to you....
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Old 09-03-2010, 01:19 AM
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again any one who reads this DO NOT TRYY CRACK!!!! it will destroy your whole life..........
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Old 09-03-2010, 01:21 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by johnsgirl81 View Post
Well, as someone who loves an addict, I don't think you are crazy...but you do need to be careful. I've seen alot of people personally fall down the wrong path hard due to crack and it's VERY addictive. Letting him know you have faith in him may help him with his recovery, if he's sincere in what he's saying....and for both of you, I hope he is.

Maybe this will help you:

http://www.crackreality.com/default.htm

I've seen crack make good people basically lose their minds. Selling what they own for a VERY low price isn't uncommon to get their fix and it's usually not just once.
johnsgirl81, thank you so much for putting up crackreality... all any one needs to know about that drug crack iss on that site..... very helpfulll
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Old 09-03-2010, 11:01 AM
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You are correct john'sgirl81 crack is evil it is very addictive and harder to break the habit. But it can be done. dianem1972. I would like to say to you and anyone else never put faith in man put it in god. I gave my husband to god because the more i tried to do it my self things just got progressively worse. I also joined al anon and studied more with Celebrate Recovery which is a christian base program geared towards the addict but with using the same principles we help ourselves in the process. You are in for a battle so put on your whole armor of god. You can Pm me anytime I am here to talk. be blessed.

Last edited by secondtimer; 09-03-2010 at 11:03 AM..
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Old 09-03-2010, 11:12 AM
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Thank You all. The info you all gave was enlightning. I am gonna check out that site also. I think one good thing that we have going is he is moving up here to Mi from Tx so he won't be around anyone from the past. He truly says he wants to change his life I guess all we can do is wait. Like I said he is in a program these last 4mos and he says as soon as he lands in Mi he wants to take in a meeting. Don't know where he can find one at that time of night but I will check it out for him. Once again Thank You all for your thoughts. I will put my trust in God.
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Old 09-03-2010, 04:38 PM
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Default Just be careful with your hopes for him

Have faith that he can overcome. If that doesn't happen you don't want it to feel like such a personal defeat.
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Old 09-04-2010, 02:42 AM
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I agree with secondtimer. An addiction of any kind is not something that we can help someone recover from on our own. I thought I could "make" John better by trying to show him there was more to life...but for a long time that just wasn't the answer and things got pretty scary for awhile. Support is good but don't let it all rest on your shoulders. Ultimately, he is the one who is responsible for his actions and never let anyone guilt you into thinking otherwise. Give it to God (or whatever you choose to believe) and just be aware of what's going on as much as you can.
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Old 09-04-2010, 04:04 AM
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I have been addicted to heroin for years and also took everything else that I could get at that time. But at a point in my life I just decided that this is not the way I want to live, I went on withdrawal and I am drugfree for more than 10 yrs. Not even weed or anything, I don´t even smoke today. The highest is once in a while a glass of wine or two. So, I know for sure that there are people that succeed over their addiction as I did, there are also people that wil always go back to their bad habits. I wish for you and your man that he has the strength to resist. It is difficult, but never impossible.
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Old 09-04-2010, 04:50 PM
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Default I tried to hang in there with friends who had addiction issues.

I can't do it again. It was too painful. I'm sure it was more painful for them. I spent a lot of my life trying to be there for someone and help the person. My childhood was like that to. I would never want to do it again. Too much sacrifice for me.
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Old 09-04-2010, 07:34 PM
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Be sure to protect yourself. Don't let him have access to your ATM card, your checkbook or extra checks, credit cards, jewelry. Your bank can lower your ATM limit. After my Addict took $500 out of my account, when he took my ATM card, I had the bank lower my limit to $60 a day. At least it put a limit to the damage he could do.
Be prepared, just in case. Decide what you will do if he starts using again. WATCH HIS FRIENDS. If he starts running with other inmates, parolees or addicts, it's all over, he's almost gone. Have a plan in mind. Be careful. Good luck, I truly wish you better than I had.
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Old 09-04-2010, 08:07 PM
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Once again thank You all for your kind words and helpful suggestions. I am wondering if I am doing the right thing in the long run. I do love him and would like to be there for him but it looks like such an unpredictable outcome. I guess I need to do alot of thinking. Paradise you give me hope that all could come out well. You deserve to be so proud of yourself for getting through your addiction....And I will keep a close eye on my funds denverswife, it is sad that I will have to do that but I am sure it is the sad fact of the matter.
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Old 09-04-2010, 10:59 PM
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If you love him, you are doing the right thing. It just won't be easy til you know for sure what's going on hun. Just keep your eyes open.
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Last edited by johnsgirl81; 09-04-2010 at 11:23 PM..
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Old 09-04-2010, 11:15 PM
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A lot of great suggestions from everyone!!

Like another poster, I am also in recovery for many years. Before I was ready to stop using, no one, not my parents, the probation officer, the police, the counselor, or my friends, could make me stop. BUT once I was ready, support from the right people made all the difference in the world.

My drug of choice was heroin but at one point it was cocaine. Any drug causes major changes in your body and brain and chemically speaking, cravings are pretty much a reality of anyone in recovery. It takes a long time for your brain and body to PHYSICALLY repair, and even then, it takes DAILY WORK and MAKING THE RIGHT DECISION EVERYDAY to stay clean.

My man is also an addict. Aside from the problem with drugs, he also has symptoms of his addiction which continue on after he is sober. I can't speak for anyone else, but for me and for him in early recovery, there were a lot of negative thoughts, criminal and opportunistic thinking, that kinda thing. And there is always the whole "I can do just one more" thing. Its a trick our addict minds play on us, its insane.

Like another poster said, have faith, but have a plan in place in case he does get high. I have found that if I think he's getting high, HE IS. I follow my gut instinct, it is not wrong. What is your bottom line? Some people can tolerate others' addictions, but me, it causes too much mental and emotional stress. IF mine gets out and gets high (and I PRAY he doesn't), my plan is to get away from him, no matter what I have to do to accomplish that.
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Old 09-04-2010, 11:19 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dianam1972 View Post
My Boyfriend is an addict. I have been reading alot on addiction so that I am well informed on addiction, I have never really done any drugs before just of course smoked pot once in awhile when I was in my twentys. What I am asking is do they always go back to drugs when they are released? He says he through with using and all that comes w/it. His drug of choice was crack, I really know nothing of the drug except from what they show on movies. His last four months he is doing a program called "Commitment to change" and he says as soon as he gets here he wants to find a program to continue with. I really don't even know if thay have that kinda stuff where I live that he could find it. I just can't imagine the person that I know and have fallen for could be such an addict. I guess what I am asking is am I crazy for having faith in him? And what is with crack is it really horrible??
honey omg you cant read this experience in a book it is taught from hands on experience my boyfriend of 15 yrs started smoken crack when he was 18yrs old he has been in rehab twice an worked the programs both times to only come out an keep it going its like fighting a demon in there heads in my experience with living with him on crack i have been to his crack houses to bring him home i have begged him to stay home i have woke up in the middle of the night with the rent gone i have done many many things including putting him in a rehab that was very stricked an he still worked the program i believe that a persons will to change is what will save them my dad has been sober for 10yrs my uncle was sober for 2 yrs until his death do to complications of what drug use had done to his body my step father has been sober for 14yrs i worship at a recover church with people clean of crack 20 + yrs so it is possible i think that locking them up will not help them with crack addiction my step dad did 6yrs in the pen when i was younger an he came right out an smoked so you can never say never jsut pray omg just pray i dont wish the crack demon on even my worse enemy drugs period are mo joking matter so make sure u no some what of what u might be facing but like i said u will never truly no the pain it cases not only the addict but the people who love them
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