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Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

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  #1  
Old 01-14-2012, 12:48 PM
NeverDull NeverDull is offline
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Default Sad day today - Today is a HUGE holiday in my sweetie's culture

Today is a HUGE holiday in my sweetie's culture (Romanian). For his family in particular, last night and today are the MOST important days of the year....like 100 times bigger than Christmas or a birthday. His family is practically hysterical that he is not home AND that he is in prison. He wrote me a beautiful letter earlier this week asking me to light 2 candles last night...one for him and one for his deceased grandfather. It is supposed to ward off evil and bring blessings. Of course I did that and I put two pictures of him with his grandfather next to the candles. I took a picture of that and will send it today.

He is SO depressed right now. He usually sends me between 2-3 emails per day and calls every day when he has minutes. Yesterday he emailed me just once in the evening and he didn't call. He told me he doesn't want me to see him like this. Basically he is having a hard time holding it together right now and of course he says prison is not a place where he can show emotion so he is just holding everything in. Also my oldest son flew home for 10 days of leave (he just got home from Afghanistan a little over one week ago) last night and my man said I need to focus on my son. He is always trying to protect me and make me do the right things. He is such an amazing man. Of course he is right about me focusing on my son, but he will be out visiting his two million friends most of the time! LOL!!

I'm REALLY worried about my man. He has been in this mood since before Christmas and it's been getting worse and worse. I'm hoping and praying that he will snap out of it but he has so much on his mind....sentencing in 27 days, probable deportation, sister is pregnant and ceuing for him, mom is crying for him, dad is always cursing him out...and what will our future be together. It's so painful that I can't see him in person and there is NOTHING I can say or do that makes him feel better. I'm just so sad for him. He's a really tough guy but he is so vulnerable right now. I'm thankful he at least opens up to me when he feels like he can, but I just wish I could hold him in my arms and make it all better.
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Old 01-14-2012, 01:15 PM
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lovemipapi lovemipapi is offline
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it's deff not easy bein in prison, and i think it's rlly ruff on them at first especially while awaiting sentencing cuz of the UNKNOWN to what's rlly going to happen, it's an extra stressful time! Then topped off with everything else that goes on inside and missing ppl on the outside!

Plus like u said durin this time they are all going thru so many emotions while waiting sentencing yet they can't show any true emotions inside there at all nothing!

Be there for him as he comes to you! I kno u wanna do so much more!
I didnt kno my guy at the start - however he at the end went thru a ton of emotions and thot he wasn't going to make it thru mentaly! said he had always said he'd b fine the whole time and it wuld be the last parts that drove him crazy and it's rlly hard to see the person you love going thru so much and you feel helpless that you cant make it better, but being there for them rlly does make it better in a way, in it's own way, and helps more then we can ever even know!!!
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Old 01-14-2012, 03:15 PM
NeverDull NeverDull is offline
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Thank you. Yes, he's a very emotional person...not like crying and stuff (he's a typical male who thinks crying shows weakness)...more like very passionate when he speaks and expresses himself. But right now he DOES feel like "crying like a small child" and it kills me to hear him say that. And he can NOT let one ounce of it out. My suspicion is that sometimes talking to me makes him even more emotional so he needs to just chill right now. While I don't like not talking to him one bit, I'm trying to understand and at least be grateful he is emailing and sharing his thoughts and emotions that way. Before we would talk for hours and hours and I know if he was out here he would be opening up to me, but instead it's more painful for him because he can only talk a few minutes and he NEVER wants to talk about "sad things" over the phone. It's like the phone time is reserved to hear each others laughter. And I understand that but honestly it hurts me a little that he doesn't call when he is feeling down...I just want so bad to make him feel better but I can't. I guess when he is this far down it makes it worse to call me...that hurts me but at the same time I understand. Does that make sense?
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Old 01-14-2012, 05:51 PM
NeverDull NeverDull is offline
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Aww...just got an email from him. I can tell he is still really down. He called his parents today and got some bad news about his grandma which doesn't help. But at least he still knows I'm here for him. I don't think he will call tonight. But I'll be patient. I really hope this mood passes soon.
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Old 01-14-2012, 07:55 PM
Joeysgirl425 Joeysgirl425 is offline
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I'm sorry ur man is down. It's hard having them go thru hard times when we are so helpless to do anything for them. I'm sure he knows u love him and are there for him, and appreciates that u will be there when he is ready to talk about things. Hope it gets better for y'all soon, and that his grandma is ok!
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Old 01-14-2012, 09:09 PM
NeverDull NeverDull is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Joeysgirl425
I'm sorry ur man is down. It's hard having them go thru hard times when we are so helpless to do anything for them. I'm sure he knows u love him and are there for him, and appreciates that u will be there when he is ready to talk about things. Hope it gets better for y'all soon, and that his grandma is ok!
Thank you. Yes I do feel helpless. Whats hard is that when he is down like this he kind of shuts down. He doesn't say a lot, but I AM grateful that at least he sent an email so I'm not as worried and he's still trying to communicate as much as he can right now. We usually just talk sooo much so it's weird. And it sounds like grandma is going to have her leg amputated....she had the other one amputated last year. Not good. I feel so bad for him.
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