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Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

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  #26  
Old 07-11-2017, 07:25 PM
nygirl17 nygirl17 is offline
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I don't care what any of them think nor have I asked any of their opinions about it. My brother who passed away was our biggest supporter I wish I could call him every day Other then that I really don't even talk about it with anyone but our daughter. It's my life and I have to live it not them.
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  #27  
Old 07-11-2017, 07:27 PM
torieoo torieoo is offline
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Originally Posted by nygirl17 View Post
I don't care what any of them think nor have I asked any of their opinions about it. My brother who passed away was our biggest supporter I wish I could call him every day Other then that I really don't even talk about it with anyone but our daughter. It's my life and I have to live it not them.
I'm sorry for your loss and I dont care either, but i still live at home so its super difficult to have a good relationship with my family when they make comments all the time
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  #28  
Old 07-11-2017, 07:40 PM
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Let me put it this way. When my mother found out my boyfriend was in jail, she had a very expensive security system installed in the house and won't give me the code.
She sounds like my father!
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  #29  
Old 07-14-2017, 07:51 AM
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I met my now- husband when I was 19 and he was 22, he was my first serious relationship. I fell madly in love with him quickly and deeply. At first my parents, especially my dad was kinda weary of the whole thing but I think it was just him dealing with me growing up. My husband quickly became a part of my family though. Him and my dad loved sports and would spend hours just having a beer and talking, or BBQing. I would come home and find my boyfriend there just hanging with my family. My dad always said he would never approve of me "living in sin" but he actually co-signed for the house we leased together. We were together almost 3 years before we broke up. I think the big mistake I made was telling my parents, especially my mom every time we'd fight or issues we were having. I'm their daughter so of course they're over protective. I ended up moving out and getting my own apartment. And the relationship did not really end on good terms and I did not agree with some of the things he was doing. Though we were still very much in love, we were just too young and immature and needed time to grow up. What's funny is my dad never liked or got along with any of my other boyfriends even close to how he liked my husband.

Time went on and we always still thought of each other, we always knew what the other was up too. And let's just say he was getting to be a very well known person around the area where we lived, and we live in a big town. He was already well known when I was with him but this was on a different level. My parents of course heard things that he was up too because people still associated me with him because we had been engaged for awhile. He was even on the news a few times. Anyways eventually we started talking again and he was changing his ways and doing the right things, but the police wanted him BADLY for things he allegedly did in the past but nothing ever stuck. His house was even raided 3 times and it literally was like what you see in the movies, but nothing was ever found. Eventually the police came up with some bogus charge and he finally ended up in prison. I didn't tell my parents we were back together until he was in prison and they were not happy about it, and we kinda just didn't talk about it at all. I think they still cared for him because of the past but of course did not agree with the choices he had made. And I understood their feelings. It wasn't until I told them we were getting married that they really freaked out. It was probably the biggest fight I'd ever had with my dad. But still if I looked at it from their point of view I could see why they were upset. He still had 8 years left on his sentence and they didn't want me just sitting around waiting for him in the prime of my life when they weren't even sure if he had really changed. It broke my heart when they didn't come to my wedding. Only my two best friends did, plus his brother and niece and nephew. But I had absolutely no doubts, I knew him better than anyone and he was my best friend. If I thought he hadn't changed I never would have married him. It was the best day of my life and he actually started bawling and had tears streaming down his face when he said his vows to me. And I remember looking over at his brother and he had a shocked look on his face because my husband never cries, he's one of those very Alpha male types.... Tall, about 230 with tattoos so to see him so emotional just made it so much more special. With my parents it took time, lots of time. Slowly they would start asking about him once in awhile and finally one day I was on the phone with him and I don't remember how it happened but somehow my dad got on the phone with him and they started talking and it was as if no time had passed since the time we were together when I was just 19. Eventually he started talking to them both one in awhile and slowly their relationship grew. Finally they agreed to go visit him and the visit went great. My husband's Dad was never around when he was growing up so I think that is why his relationship with my dad has meant so much. Now they are always talking about the future and when he comes home and my Dad calls him "son" and both my parents tell them they love him and have even helped with lawyers fees for his appeal, which I never asked them too. It just blows my mind how far they've come since we first got married and I'm so thankful that out of this crazy situation that they've accepted my husband and truly love him.
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  #30  
Old 07-14-2017, 06:52 PM
Curt'swife8 Curt'swife8 is offline
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To my face, everyone is kind and supportive. Our love is 20 years long at this point though! I am positive that people had doubts, concerns, and wishes that I would move on to someone new, but they didn't let me know about it. I am a pretty strong woman so I think they new it wasn't worth it to show a lack of support because they would risk losing ME! They have all shown me that my relationship with them has value.

Funny story: I married my husband in prison. I wouldn't say yes to my husband until I discussed it with my parents and received their blessing. When I told them what we wanted to do, I was sobbing! My dad said, "Why are you crying??? You are grown! You get to do whatever you want to do!" I, of course, told him I didn't want to disappoint them. My dad said, "Do you need me to give you away?" LOL Isn't he cute?

My family and friends use my demeanor and my success as their tool to decide how they feel about him. I am doing well and I am happy so they show love for him as a result!
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  #31  
Old 07-14-2017, 10:50 PM
Texasflower08 Texasflower08 is offline
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We friends are ok with it when i explain the situation. My daughter loves him. I live with his family.
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  #32  
Old 07-16-2017, 11:04 PM
Daddysgal Daddysgal is offline
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My family does not know he is in prison right now and appealing his case. My guy was bi coastal and I told my parents he moved back to NY permanently. His case was high profile and in the news and papers and my parents are super Catholic and conservative. My friends that all know him have been very supportive with me on everything. My best friend even writes him letters.
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  #33  
Old 07-16-2017, 11:31 PM
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Originally Posted by Daddysgal View Post
my parents are super Catholic and conservative.
I can understand this well. It is in a way similar to my situation. My parents are Orthodox Christians [mother with Serbian church, father with Russian] and VERY conservative. Many things scandalize them and though I am an adult, and my father lives thousands of kilometres away, I still fear their opinion and judgement. My half-brother [same father] is incarcerated so maybe my father will be empathetic. I have not mentioned the situation to him yet.

With my boyfriend, he is lucky that I met him at church. For this reason, my mother has embraced him. If he did not have that good point, she would dislike him and consider him to be a bad troublemaker.

My friends have not been supportive at all. They have married well or have boyfriends concerned with careers / professional focuses. And so, knowing my boyfriend is on remand, they ask if I will move to a trailer park, call my boyfriend Bubba [this I do not understand], say his only jobs will be a janitor or sell drugs and make jokes of the condition of the jail. I stopped mentioning him to them and just keep my fears of the situation hidden.

I hope this makes sense.
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  #34  
Old 07-17-2017, 08:17 AM
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My friends are more or less okay with it, or at least not surprised. My family isn't too thrilled about it, but they know argueing about it is no use.
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  #35  
Old 07-17-2017, 12:02 PM
Curt'swife8 Curt'swife8 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Daddysgal View Post
My family does not know he is in prison right now and appealing his case. My guy was bi coastal and I told my parents he moved back to NY permanently. His case was high profile and in the news and papers and my parents are super Catholic and conservative. My friends that all know him have been very supportive with me on everything. My best friend even writes him letters.
FYI, TRUE Catholics should be about acceptance and forgiveness! I know us being their baby girls makes acceptance and forgiveness harder, but it is not impossible! My parents (father especially) are/was super Catholic and conservative! My father would have become a priest had he not been conflicted after meeting my mother. They rejected him at the seminary because of his questions. Fathers don't get much more Catholic than that! I lost my father 7-13-14. What a great and inspiring man! He tried his hardest to be supportive of my choices. If he had concerns/anxiety about my relationship, he did not express them. He looked to my happiness as a way to measure my relationship's success. My husband always says that he will honor my father for giving him that chance and he will never disappoint him! (He knows my father is still watching from above). Oh how they both warm my heart beyond measures!!!!!!

Just another fact: Catholics OFTEN involve themselves in prison support: Mentoring! Gifting! Educating! Praying! and more!

You might want to put a little more faith in your family's faith!

Last edited by Curt'swife8; 07-17-2017 at 12:09 PM..
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  #36  
Old 07-17-2017, 12:44 PM
torieoo torieoo is offline
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My friends are more or less okay with it, or at least not surprised. My family isn't too thrilled about it, but they know argueing about it is no use.
Thats how mine are as well
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  #37  
Old 07-18-2017, 09:30 PM
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They're all a bunch of jerks about it, really.

Except for my dad, because he doesn't know.

This is stressful enough without a chorus of critical opinions so I said "we're not discussing the incarceration anymore. Ask me how he's doing or something, and leave it at that".
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  #38  
Old 07-27-2017, 05:20 PM
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My mother loves him like her own child. she cries more than me and hasn't ever met him. Too sweet. And every female in my fam has supported a man in prison so they can't judge. And a few of my male members have been prisoners so we don't judge. This is my mothers family. My dad's side doesn't know and won't till he's home. Lol. I'm grown so their opinions don't affect me anyway. He's a great man.
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  #39  
Old 07-27-2017, 10:21 PM
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My parents are so sweet. Seriously, the most supportive. I'm sure it's not what they want for me, but they go with it and my Mom especially adores my husband. They never say anything to suggest that they don't like the situation. Surprisingly, my brother is very supportive too. He is straight-edge, military, and I thought he would be a jerk, but nope. I tell my parents EVERYTHING and they just sit there with a smile like "Oh that's so great.
Drive safe to the prison." Lol.
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